Chapter Three

PAIN

She always considered him to be the more romantic one between them, she always felt lucky to have a man who would go out of his way to make her happy and feel loved. She sifted through her brain, hoping to find some indication of the direction his thoughts were headed in but found none. Apart from the strange behavior in the past few weeks, he never gave her reason to believe he was doubting their relationship and that reality hurt more than anything. 

Seated in her car with silent tears flowing down her face, she watched the door of the restaurant, waiting with hope that he would emerge and rush over to her to tell her what a big mistake he’d made, but no one ever appeared. 

She felt numb as she made the twenty-minute drive home, concentrating only on following the road rules for if she didn’t she would allow her mind to wander. She silently made her way up to her apartment, remembering all the nights they walked up together till she turned the knob on the door. 

Looking down at the wrinkled yellow dress she suddenly felt stupid, she’d read the entire situation wrong. Standing at the entrance of her apartment, she felt empty inside, everything she’d worked for laid before her yet none of it brought her happiness, the truth was that life wasn’t about what you had, it’s about who you spend it with and she couldn’t be lonelier than that very moment.    

Sucking in a deep breath, she lifted the hem of her dress and walked towards her bedroom where she stripped off the dress and heels on her feet, and without bothering to remove the pins from her hair and makeup from her face, she crawled into bed and cried herself to sleep. 

***

Sierra nursed a cup of coffee that had long gone cold, but she remained unbothered. She was seated at her breakfast nook staring into space as her mind replayed the events of the night before. Part of her badly wanted to deny it ever happened, while the other part was painfully reminding her that it had. 

Her thoughts were cut short when she heard the doorbell ring, she had no idea who it might be, but she figured trying to guess was a lot more energy-consuming than just opening the door. The moment she did, she regretted not calling out first.

“What are you doing here?” Brent stood before her looking as put together as always which was the exact opposite of her appearance in a baggy knitted sweater and a pair of leggings. 

Her heart burned looking at him, the betrayal was still fresh in her mind and she wondered if he was there to finish up the job as if he hadn’t said enough last night. 

Brent reached out to her, but pulled back when she flinched, “Can we talk?” He tried. 

“I have nothing to say to you.” She crossed her arms over her chest, a deep frown on her face. 

“I need to talk to you.” Sierra scoffed. 

“Oh I think you’ve said quite enough, I don’t need to hear any more.” She moved to shut the door, but he stopped it. 

“Sierra, please? It wasn’t fair to have a conversation like that in a restaurant and I really didn’t mean to end things like that, but when I saw you, I couldn’t hold back anymore.” She felt anger bubble up inside her at his words. 

“How dare you!” She grabbed his arm and yanked him into the house, slamming the door behind him. “You came all the way here to ease your guilt? After all these years of being together, I refuse to think of our relationship as a waste of time because to me it actually meant something. Don’t think that you’re doing the noble thing, Brent, because when times get tough people communicate and fight for each other. You never did either of those things before choosing to throw in the towel.” He shook his head as if she wasn’t getting it.

“You don’t understand, I tried to fight this feeling, but nothing changed. Maybe one day you’ll understand.” Sierra too shook her head.

“Regardless of whether things would have worked out in the end, at least I would have been able to say we tried, together.” Brent looked down in shame, she had a point and he couldn’t deny it, he was unfair to her.

“I’m sorry, Sierra.” Sierra closed her eyes in pain.

“Please leave, Brent. I can’t deal with this anymore.” Brent hesitated before leaning down to kiss her cheek.

“I hope one day you’ll be able to forgive me and we can be friends again.” Sierra bit her tongue to hold the scoff that threatened to escape. 

Their relationship was over and it was not a thought she’d gotten used to yet. 

She remained in the same position she was when Brent left, taking in the finality of the whole situation. She couldn’t decide if it was worse to know a relationship was going downhill or have a breakup dropped on you the way Brent just did. 

She couldn’t bring herself to move. 

The pain was immobilizing to the point she didn’t want to even cry, she just wanted it to go away.