chapter 7

Hailey

/ Four months ago /

MATT: Who's this friend?

I stared at the text for a long second, wondering whether I should respond or not without knowing the reason of my hesitation.

HAILEY: Herond

A loud thud from outside Letty made me jump and when I looked up didn't see the quarterback around.

Oh, shit.

Not waiting for Matt's reply I get out as well and followed the direction drunken Nate had stumbled towards.

"Nate?" I heard curses and went in that direction. "Where are you- Oh." I had to halt abruptly not to step on his waist.

He was laying there, on the grass, ten feet away from the bench of the viewpoint where we could see all the city lights beneath, almost as bright as the amount of starts hovering us.

I got to give it to him, this was such a great spot.

I frowned, carefully sitting by his shamelessly sprawled frame. "You scared me." I mumbled, not sure he was here or lost in his own thoughts for the intensity in his eyes as he glared the sky. "I thought you might have fallen or something."

"I have."

"I mean down the cliff."

"Oh, then I haven't."

I sighed, looking forwards to the view in front of us. This place was really awesome.

I'd came here once or twice with the girls, but usually it was a point for tourists, typical spot where everyone snapped his picture before moving on to the next town. It wasn't like there were a lot of other things here so I kinda understand them.

We weren't a town prepared for visitors, more like a small, familiar one. But since it was dark, both the stars and city lights were like a mirage and gave it an almost mystical halo.

It was quiet and daunting, and my mind drifted away without me noticing. Thinking about Justin again, wondering if I'd ever stood a chance or Karen was always his first choice... Who am I kidding? She obviously was. I mean, she was perfect. Lovely, social, smart, athletic... and I was just, well, me.

My heart ached as I twisted small strands of grass between my fingers. Why couldn't I just un-crush him? It was clear that he wasn't healthy for me and that he already had someone else, then why on earth couldn't I stop my heart from longing for him?

Ahh, it was frustrating. If I just could-

"What are you humming?"

I froze at Nate's sudden voice. Oh, shit, I hadn't even realized I was loud enough for him to hear. In fact, I'd almost forgotten he was there as well.

My cheeks heated immediately, but he remained calm when I turned to glimpse at him, waiting for my answer.

"I tend to do that when I'm... yeah. It's Someone you love."

His brows furrowed but he still not opening his eyes. "Uh?"

"Lewis Capaldi?"

"Doesn't ring bell."

This time I frowned. "You gotta be kidding me." Nate shrugged, not bothered at all. "Oh, no no no. We're gonna change that." and not wasting another second I slid my fingers through the phone's screen going straight to my music. "Here, listen to this and enjoy."

The soft melody engulfed us as I left the item between us in the grass, filling the place with the marvelous talented pitches of such a great song. As usual, my chest bloated in emotion as the song went on. When the chorus came I closed my lids, letting it totally get to me as the soft late spring breeze grazed my cheeks.

The magic moment was snapped when Nate huffed. "This is just sad." my chest cringed slightly. "Put something else."

"Nope." I bit my lip when he finally opened his eyes and narrowed them at me but I stayed firm. "I like it. It stays." and laid down as well in hopes once I lost the eye contact having had the last word my conviction would remained.

'Now the day bleeds, into nightfall

and you're not here, to get me through it all

I let my guard down and then you pulled the rug

I was getting kinda used to being someone you loved-'

"You're doing it again." he hoarsely mumbled and I immediately stopped humming at once.

Damn, why didn't I notice I do? This is just embarrassing.

From the corner of my eyes I saw him shifting, bending one knee and resting one arm lazily over his stomach while using his other as a pillow. Getting comfortable, are we? Guess we're staying here for a while then. I concentrate on the song again.

'-Now I need somebody to know

somebody to heal

somebody to have

just to know how it feels-'

"How can you like something so sad?"

"Because it's beautiful." I answered in a whisper, too emotional. For some reason Justin and Karen kept appearing under my lids as the melancholy filled the air.

He scoffed. "There are more beautiful things that don't make you wanna stop living, you know?"

"What?" my face blushed harder and I turned my head only to notice he hadn't moved form his magazine-like-pose, no even noticing my glare.

"You know I'm right." one of the corners of his out twitched as he slurred.

"It's my favourite song."

"I'm so sorry then."

I reached out to grab the phone. "Uh, you know what? Now you're just spoiling it. Thank you very much." but just as I unlocked it, it was snatched out my grasp. "Hey!"

"Just let me... Aha." his frown melted into a quick grin as he typed a new song. "Now we're talking."

I rose one brow at the cheerfu, loud rhythm coming from the speakers. "Really?"

"Your music, Gracie. At least I know you're not a complete waste." my teeth clenched at the nick again and that successfully prevent the upcoming smile from appearing.

"Nate." I warned when he retracted his arm as I reached out and turn up the volume. "Give it back-"

"Shhhh, hold on..." he closed his eyes as the chorus get closer and when it arrived he smiled -drunken smile- and sang along: "Had to have high high hopes for a living."

"Oh my god." my eyes widened, looking around for any possible witness.

"Shooting for the stars when I couldn't make a killing!"

"Tone it down..."

But the quarterback had it easy to keep me away from the shoulder when I once again tried to snatch it from his hold "There's no one here! Now, here's the best part." and instead raised the volume all the more. Hell no. "HAD TO HAVE HIGH HIGH HOPES FOR A LIVING! DIDN'T KNOW HOW BUT I ALWAYS HAD A- eh!"

Finally reaching the phone I lowered the crazy loud sound to a more reasonable tune and that leave Nate screaming on top of his lungs by himself. The confused demi-pouting look he gave me was adorable and this time I couldn't contain it anymore and laughed, leaning back into a sitting position again.

"You're crazy, Herond."

Once more, he shrugged, resting on his back once more as well, glancing up the stars. "Heard that before, Gracie."

Shaking my head, I laid down again too; this time keeping the phone on my abdomen, but for some reason deciding to let him had his song on the background. Taking in a deep sigh, I decided to open my mouth again.

"Could you, maybe, um, not call me that?"

I waited a few seconds for his reaction, tensing in anticipation and when it didn't come right away I thought he might have fallen sleep. But then his low voice cut the air again, baffled: "Call you what?"

"Gracie." it tasted bad as it rolled out my tongue and I shut my eyes forcefully, hoping I wasn't being as ridiculous as I felt.

"Why?"

"I hate it."

"But isn't it what everyone call you?"

"Yes." I sighed. "But it's like... How would you feel if everyone called you little Herond?"

To my surprise he laughed at that. "Well, little Herond is in fact another thing, you know?" I blushed deep red as he kept smirking like the jock he is. "A part of me that-"

"I get it! I get it. I'm sorry for the choice of words. Just... Don't call me that."

He hummed, pressing his lips together, but they still stretched. "Mh, okay, I guess. But why?"

I hesitated. I felt like I could tell him... I kinda wanted to... but did I really? To go all sharing personal stuff with boozy star here? He probably won't remember a thing in the morning and next week we'll be back on not interacting with each other.

Not for nothing, it was just that we didn't share anything. No friends, no passions, no likes... So what was even the point? We were from different worlds.

"Never mind." I sighed.

"Okay." but even in his dragging of the words I could sense how unsettled his 'okay' was.

My heart sped when I felt his shifting and from the corner of my eyes, I saw his turning to his side so he was facing me. What is he doing? I had to force my muscles not to react and just laid there glancing the stars... with a sledgehammer in my rib cage. Seconds passed and his stare start to burn the side of my face I hesitantly turned my head to meet it.

"Why were you crying?" Nate asked as soon as I did and for a moment I was speechless at his bluntness. I bit my lip, ignoring the ache in my chest as more images of their kiss came back to me.

"Why were you drunk?" I fired back instead, but he shrugged, not dropping his eyes.

"I needed to numb it."

My brows pursed. "To numb what?"

He opened his mouth like going to say something else but then something flashed under his orbs and decided to close it, sobering up a little more all at once. "Never mind."

At my bewildered expression he sent me a flash smirk and laid on his back again.

What was that? What could Roosevelt's football star possibly want to numb? True that I didn't know him that well, but all I know is he was handsome, popular, a heartthrob... Anyone in our high school would want to exchange places with him, but here he was, getting drunk to numb something.

The song changed, but neither of us was paying attention to it anymore. Gathering all my courage together, I wondered softly: "Is it about Trish?"

"What?" his eyes widened and turned to give me a startled look. "Why would you even say that?"

For the umpteenth time today my cheeks warmed. I swear I have a natural talent to say the most inappropriate things...

"Umm, I... she brought her boyfriend and... It's just that-"

"We broke up over a year ago."

"I know." his gaze turned weird. Wow, Hails, very well, this ain't sound creepy at all. "I-I mean, everyone knows. You were kinda the Couple and all."

"Right." he looked straight forward but I still mentally beated myself up for being so awkward. Then I heard him sigh and turned to carefully glance at him. "It's just... sometimes everything gets too much and I can't take it."

Whoa, was he really going to talk about it? Was I really that curious? Apparently I was. 'Cause I couldn't help but clear my throat and softly asked: "What do you mean?"

"The school, the team, football... sometimes it's just too much pressure." he admitted in a low tone, broken even and my chest twisted at its sound. "It's like I could never be good enough, but they keep pushing and pushing 'till I bend... or break."

"You won't break." I furrowed my brows, surprised at his honesty.

"It doesn't feel like that."

"You won't." I assured, not really believing I was reassuring the great quarterback about his talent. "You're amazing in the field. Everyone can tell."