Chapter 4 - Like someone's watching.

“Is there anything else you’d like me to do before I go?” I asked Andrea, who was currently so engrossed in sorting the accounts she probably didn’t even realise how long she’d been sitting there. I started work six hours ago and apart from a quick lunch break, she hadn’t moved.

“Oh, uh Ellie, sorry I didn’t even know you were still here. What time is it?”

“It’s 6.15pm, you’ve been at those books all afternoon!”

“I know” She sighed as she leant back tiredly in her chair.

“Well, I have thirty minutes left of my shift, but I could stay longer if you need some help”.

“No, no, it’s fine. But if you could just get out all of the solar system displays for the class that’s coming tomorrow and set it up in the kid’s corner, it’ll save me having to come in early”.

“Of course, I’ll get on that now… Are you sure there’s nothing else I can help you with?”

“It’s ok Ellie, honestly, I’ll do this last bit and we’ll lock up together. I have a date to go home and get ready for”.

“A date? You mean with Marcus?”

“Yes, we try to have some quality time out of the home every other Friday and to be honest, even on the days when I feel as tired as I do now, it’s still so worth it to go home, get re-dressed and have a night out with him. Our nights out together keep us young”.

“Wow, that’s actually really sweet. How long have you two been married now?”

“Oh, it’s going on thirty- five years now”.

“Well, congratulations, that’s a long time”.

“It is but we met when we were young, I was only seventeen and he was nineteen and it just felt…. Right. It has ever since”.

I smiled back at her, thinking to myself how rare it was to have what they have, and I wondered if I would ever find that in this town.

“Don’t worry Ellie, your time will come”.

“I wasn’t….”

“I know what you’re thinking, Ellie, marriage here seems to be the big deal, the be all and end all, but just keep living your own life and the things meant for you will come”.

Her words gave me comfort and, to be honest, I felt a little relieved! It was nice to know that someone other than my friends knew all about that pressure to settle. “Thanks Andrea, I just know what gossip can be like”.

“Well, pay no mind to them. Let them make their own choices and you make yours!.... Now, we better get on, otherwise we’ll both be getting home late!”.

I left the office and began bringing everything for the display out of the cupboard. Setting them all on the table and next to the book stands, dusting off the ones that had been in storage for too long. I didn’t realise how fast the time went until Andrea called me, shaking her keys in her hand and my bag and jacket in the other.

“Come on Ellie, let’s get home”.

I walked over and took my stuff from her as we left the building. I waited with her until she had finished locking up the place.

“Enjoy your date Andrea and give my love to Marcus”.

“I will dear, I will see you tomorrow”.

I got on my bike and rode the four blocks home to see only my mum’s car in the driveway again. It seemed as though dad was rarely home after work anymore and, even when he was, it was always an awkward silence in whatever room they were in together. It was as if they didn’t even know the other person was there. I don’t know how it got to this, and all I could hope was that he wasn’t having an affair like a lot of the other husbands and wives did. But to me, I just couldn’t imagine him doing such a thing. He used to adore my mum and she did him. What’s happened to them? I thought as I walked into the house.

I walked straight past the living room, noticing it was empty, and headed for the kitchen to see my mum sitting quietly on her own at the table, her hair shoved back in a ponytail and wearing her dressing gown.

“Hey mum”. I called as I walked in with a bit of caution in my voice. Seeing her like this had started to happen too frequently over the last two weeks, since my dad started disappearing again…. Maybe I’m wrong…. Maybe he is doing what I think he might be doing… but I couldn’t voice it, I didn’t want to bring her down even more!

“Hi darling. How was work?”

“Nice, as usual. Why are you just sitting here mum?”

“Oh, I was just thinking”.

“Thinking about what?” I asked as I sat in the chair opposite to her.

“Nothing!” She shook her head and purposely brushed off whatever was mulling through her mind.

“Mum?”

“Yes, darling?”

“What’s going on?”

“What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean, you and dad, I know there’s something wrong, so tell me, what is it?” I asked, trying to keep my voice sympathetic but beginning to feel my patience wearing thin. For months I had been coming home to see things just getting worse.

“Nothing El,”. She replied as she rolled her eyes.

“Don’t tell me it’s nothing, I know there’s something wrong!”

“And it is not your business, it’s between me and your father!”

“No! I live here too, remember, and I am also a part of this family. If there’s something going on, I have a right to know”.

She sighed heavily with a look of defeat. “Ok. We’re just having some…. Financial issues, that’s all!”

“Still?” I asked in confusement. “How? I don’t get it, we have three wage slips coming in, how is that still not enough?”

“Look El, we’ll discuss this another time. I don’t want to do this right now”. She said with a slight crack in her voice, and I suddenly felt bad for her and thought it best not to press it tonight. She already looked like she’d had enough of the day.

“Ok” I replied calmly. “Well, I’m hungry, why don’t we have something to eat?”

“Oh, I haven’t made anything, sorry El. I don’t know where the time has gone today!”

“It’s ok, how about I ride down to the chip shop and get our usual”

“That sounds lovely”. She replied and tried to smile, but it was the most forced and faintest one I’ve ever seen.

Just as I got up, dad came into the kitchen. I didn’t even hear him come into the house.

“What are you two mumbling about?” He asked curiously.

“Nothing and good evening to you too dad, how was your day?”

“It was fine”. He relented as he tried to relax his shoulders.

“Well. I’m going to have a shower!” Mum spoke as she got up from her chair, when an idea struck me…. One that I actually have Andrea to thank for.

“Good idea!” I smiled. “Why don’t you both have showers and get dressed up and go for a nice dinner, just the two of you?”

“What?” dad replied with a shocked expression.

“Yes, I think you both need to go out and paint the town red, or boogie it up, get groovy… whatever it is you do at your age!” I said jokingly, trying to lighten the mood.

“I don’t know, I’m tired El”. Mum said as she wrapped her arms around herself as if she was trying to sink further into her robe.

“And I’ve had a long day!” dad claimed, trying to think of an excuse.

“You’re going!” I told them firmly. “I will ring Ollies and have them keep a table back for you. Just think… delicious food, a candle on the table, some wine…... So, get ready and go”.

They both slumped out of the kitchen, looking as though I had just asked them to put on their hiking boots and climb the highest, snowy mountain. Or like I just sent them to their rooms for bad behaviour!

As much as neither of them clearly wanted to go and I knew one night out wouldn’t solve the distance between them, but it was a start. I missed the days of them laughing together, playfully flirting and dancing around the living room listening to their old records they had kept. Whatever had driven a wedge between them the last few months, I was determined to help them rekindle things and hopefully be the loving couple they once were, with the type of marriage I had always hoped to find for myself.

They were still hesitant when they were finally dressed and ready, popping their shoes on as I held the door open for them, practically shoving them out. But I have to hand it to my mother. She is in her forties now, but she still looked stunning whenever she styled her hair and put on a light bit of blush and lipstick, and I noticed the glimmer in my dad’s eyes when he saw her coming down the stairs.

“Enjoy your night”. I called out to them as they walked down the steps outside of our house. They both glanced back at me, looking rather nervous. Anyone would think they were sixteen again and this was their first date!

I had made myself a quick sandwich and led on the couch with one of my favourite books, The Thorn birds. With nothing but the grandfather clock ticking away, I started to imagine the life of the Cleary family as I got lost with each written word. Taking the book with me, every time I left the warmth of the couch to feast on yet another snack or use the bathroom.

When the clock chimed eleven, it was only then that I chuckled to myself, realising I was so focused on the story that I hadn’t heard it chime before until now. A little smile rose on my lips, hoping that, if my parents are still out, then maybe their evening is going better than they had expected.

I plopped the book on my lap as my eyes began to feel sore from the constant reading from page to page, when a quick blur of something flashed past the glass double doors that led to the garden. My eyes widened and my body tensed, and the quietness of the house now felt eery as I stared out into the darkness beyond the doors.

I couldn’t be sure if it was just my mind playing tricks on me or if I really did see something outside! And considering, I’ve seen how fast they can move. My heart began to race with every thought. Was it him? Was he watching? Is he waiting to get in somehow? Without hesitating, I quickly jumped off the couch and started darting around the house, checking that all of the doors and windows were locked. Room to room, I pulled at the handles and jiggled the locks to reassure myself there was no way in. My heart was still racing as I shut all of the drapes and sat huddled in the armchair in the corner of the living room, furthest away from the garden doors.

But trying to read now was futile. I just kept looking up at the doors and pricking my ears for any sounds in the house. Even though I grew up knowing vampires had their home deep within the forest, I never felt scared being home alone until tonight. Perhaps I was just feeling paranoid, because even though it’s been almost three weeks, thoughts of him still came into my mind. But they were no longer out of curiosity, it had become more like a horror film, when you know there’s a killer lurking nearby, but you never know when he’s about to strike next. If it wasn’t for me going to the river that day, none of this would be affecting my peace right now! My eyes just wouldn’t stop looking at the doors and, even though they were tired and starting to blur, I was too scared to go upstairs and get into bed and even if I did, I’d want to sleep with all the lights on and my quilt pulled up over my head as if I was hiding from a ghost or something!...... or at least that’s what it felt like.