My knees gave out from under me as I fell into the tree I stood next to, leaning on it with my entire body weight.His eyes were open, lifelessly staring into the abyss above him while blood flowed freely from the corner of his mouth into the hands of his daughter who held him.I felt my bottom lip begin to quiver, a feeling washing over me that wavered between grief and shock. Mady looked down at him, tears falling uncontrollably from her eyes, rolling down her chin and neck.Her cry could be heard throughout the forest, making Luca visibly nervous as he looked around us to see who was listening."Mady, we need to get you and Carrie out of here, okay?" He said gently.She fisted her father's flannel shirt in her hands as Luca touched her shoulders, urging her to stand."You can come back to him when it's safe," Luca told her."But right now you need to leave."Mady shook her head, struggling to breathe through her convulsive sobs. I could tell Luca was growing more and more anxious,
The first conscious thought I remember having was in the upstairs loft.It was dark outside.The moon was hidden by storm clouds, the occasional flash of lightning illuminating the room briefly. I could hear the strong gusts of wind, the rumbling of thunder, and the sheets of rain that pounded into the roof above me.I smelt like paint and misery.The canvas I'd dedicated months to laid in front of me, it's frame mangled and bent. The once carefully detailed collage of colors making up a portrait had been smeared haphazardly with black paint that also coated my hands.Sitting with my back in a corner, knees pulled into my chest, I felt a like a shell of a human.All the emotional energy I owned had been completely spent. I had cried until I couldn't cry anymore. My throat felt like l'd swallowed acid, raw with the screaming that came alongside mourning two traumatic deaths.The only thing I had left was a broken, beating heart.And all I could do was sleep.I didn't want to be awake.
I felt a wave of relief wash over me, bringing tears to my eyes I'd thought about him frequently in the past two days. Knowing he was okay eased the heartache slightly."That's good," I whispered.Luca looked at me solemnly."It wasn't your fault," he told me, moving a hand up to my jaw to tilt it towards him.I swallowed the massive knot in the back of my throat as I felt more tears rush to my eyes, blurring my vision. Shaking my head slowly, I began to back away from him but he stepped forward, preventing me from getting too far outside his reach."This was not your fault," he repeated, his voice firmer this time.I felt my bottom lip begin to quiver as a tear rolled down my cheek."He came looking for me," I whispered."If Bates hadn't been there, he wouldn't have gotten hurt-""You don't know that," Luca said."Bates could have easily been caught in the crossfire at the gate if he weren't with you."The intensity behind his eyes made me press back into the doorframe."With everyon
The doorbell startled me awake.My arms immediately reached out to find Luca's empty side of the bed.I sat up quickly, seeing the late morning sunshine streaming into the room through the cracks in the curtains covering the window behind his bed.Hearing the murmuring of voices in the living room, I got off the bed and walked over to the ajar door to listen.I heard Luca's mother's voice as she spoke to him, her gentle tone carrying down the hallway."How is she?" Ana asked."Traumatized." Luca answered.She hummed."Poor girl," she said, her voice laced with genuine sympathy."I can't imagine what's going through her head.""Death," Luca told her."She said something last night about wanting to die. It made me so nauseous I could've puked.""After what she witnessed, I'm sure she's confused as to how she's still alive," Ana said."Just give her some time and assurance.""It worries me." he admitted."It's enough to be concerned, but trust the mourning process," she encouraged him.T
The meeting room was cold.The air conditioning was on full blast as the summer had officially begun a week prior with high temperatures virtually unknown by northwestern Montana.That room was the last place I wanted to be, but it wasn't because of the chilled air that came through the vents overhead.I could still see where the pool of blood had blemished the concrete floor where an unconscious Bates had laid two weeks earlier. It looked like someone had tried to scrub it with bleach, but a deep maroon stain was still visible.Bates sat silently in the chair beside me, Dr. Witt standing behind him sterilizing the tool she was about to use to remove the medical staples from his scalp.There were five of the small, silver staples running vertically up the back of his head where it had split into a deep gash.He stared at the table as she gently pushed his head forward."You should just feel a little tug," she warned him.He closed his eyes tight, wincing as she wiggled the first one l
Luca and I arrived back home later that evening after a long day of meetings, calls, and wellness check-ins with those who had been injured.Even though I was physically drained, it had been good to get out of the house for the first time in two weeks.It had forced me to shower and put on clean clothes that morning, something that I hadn't realized would mentally help me as much as it had. I made a promise to myself I would do those two things every morning moving forward.As we walked through the door, I noticed Luca was carrying the laptop Lincoln had brought to him earlier that day."What's that for?" I asked him.He looked down at the laptop before sighing."There's something we need to talk about and I've been avoiding it for the past few days," he admitted.I followed him into the kitchen and watched as he placed the laptop on the counter, feeling my stomach twist."What's wrong?" I asked."Nothing's wrong," he clarified."It's just heavy stuff."Luca opened the laptop and I sa
You can do this, you can do this.My heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest.Sweat dripped from every pore, making my hands sweaty as they reached out for the next bar in front of me.You can do this.As my feet landed on the wooden platform, I lowered shaking arms to look at the timer on my wrist.Four and a half minutes left.Chest heaving for air, I reached out and grabbed the salmon ladder bar and shifted my body weight to thrust it into the divider above it-continuing this movement until I was four feet higher and could reach the platform above it.I pulled myself onto the platform, trying not to think about how high I was in the trees.Swallowing my fear, I grabbed the rope in front of me and swung to the next platform that was a few yards away.When I landed, I saw Luca standing on the ground a little more than a hundred feet away.'"Go! Go! Go!" He yelled enthusiastically, hands pumping in the air.I smiled."Let's go! Move it! Hurry!" Fallon screamed next to him,
"Would you hush?""I didn't say anything.""Well, stop thinking so loud."I heard Mady huff from somewhere in the room behind me, but my eyes were glued in front of me.With stiff and aching fingers, I lifted the small detailing brush from the palette and leaned forward, ignoring the pain in my lower back.Holding my breath, I gently swept the brush along the canvas, letting the beige acrylic paint cover the markings of where I had outlined with a graphite pencil.I let out a long, exasperated sigh of relief as I finished the last upward stroke of the brush. "Are you done? Can I see?"I felt Mady's presence invade the space behind me as she leaned forward to get a better look at the canvas propped against the wall that I sat in front of."Carrie, that looks great.""I hate painting hands," I admitted, feeling a sudden wave of exhaustion pass over me."No, it looks really good."I glanced over the canvas that was partially painted and partially outlined with a graphite pencil. An old d
You can do this, you can do this.My heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest.Sweat dripped from every pore, making my hands sweaty as they reached out for the next bar in front of me.You can do this.As my feet landed on the wooden platform, I lowered shaking arms to look at the timer on my wrist.Four and a half minutes left.Chest heaving for air, I reached out and grabbed the salmon ladder bar and shifted my body weight to thrust it into the divider above it-continuing this movement until I was four feet higher and could reach the platform above it.I pulled myself onto the platform, trying not to think about how high I was in the trees.Swallowing my fear, I grabbed the rope in front of me and swung to the next platform that was a few yards away.When I landed, I saw Luca standing on the ground a little more than a hundred feet away.'"Go! Go! Go!" He yelled enthusiastically, hands pumping in the air.I smiled."Let's go! Move it! Hurry!" Fallon screamed next to him,
Luca and I arrived back home later that evening after a long day of meetings, calls, and wellness check-ins with those who had been injured.Even though I was physically drained, it had been good to get out of the house for the first time in two weeks.It had forced me to shower and put on clean clothes that morning, something that I hadn't realized would mentally help me as much as it had. I made a promise to myself I would do those two things every morning moving forward.As we walked through the door, I noticed Luca was carrying the laptop Lincoln had brought to him earlier that day."What's that for?" I asked him.He looked down at the laptop before sighing."There's something we need to talk about and I've been avoiding it for the past few days," he admitted.I followed him into the kitchen and watched as he placed the laptop on the counter, feeling my stomach twist."What's wrong?" I asked."Nothing's wrong," he clarified."It's just heavy stuff."Luca opened the laptop and I sa
The meeting room was cold.The air conditioning was on full blast as the summer had officially begun a week prior with high temperatures virtually unknown by northwestern Montana.That room was the last place I wanted to be, but it wasn't because of the chilled air that came through the vents overhead.I could still see where the pool of blood had blemished the concrete floor where an unconscious Bates had laid two weeks earlier. It looked like someone had tried to scrub it with bleach, but a deep maroon stain was still visible.Bates sat silently in the chair beside me, Dr. Witt standing behind him sterilizing the tool she was about to use to remove the medical staples from his scalp.There were five of the small, silver staples running vertically up the back of his head where it had split into a deep gash.He stared at the table as she gently pushed his head forward."You should just feel a little tug," she warned him.He closed his eyes tight, wincing as she wiggled the first one l
The doorbell startled me awake.My arms immediately reached out to find Luca's empty side of the bed.I sat up quickly, seeing the late morning sunshine streaming into the room through the cracks in the curtains covering the window behind his bed.Hearing the murmuring of voices in the living room, I got off the bed and walked over to the ajar door to listen.I heard Luca's mother's voice as she spoke to him, her gentle tone carrying down the hallway."How is she?" Ana asked."Traumatized." Luca answered.She hummed."Poor girl," she said, her voice laced with genuine sympathy."I can't imagine what's going through her head.""Death," Luca told her."She said something last night about wanting to die. It made me so nauseous I could've puked.""After what she witnessed, I'm sure she's confused as to how she's still alive," Ana said."Just give her some time and assurance.""It worries me." he admitted."It's enough to be concerned, but trust the mourning process," she encouraged him.T
I felt a wave of relief wash over me, bringing tears to my eyes I'd thought about him frequently in the past two days. Knowing he was okay eased the heartache slightly."That's good," I whispered.Luca looked at me solemnly."It wasn't your fault," he told me, moving a hand up to my jaw to tilt it towards him.I swallowed the massive knot in the back of my throat as I felt more tears rush to my eyes, blurring my vision. Shaking my head slowly, I began to back away from him but he stepped forward, preventing me from getting too far outside his reach."This was not your fault," he repeated, his voice firmer this time.I felt my bottom lip begin to quiver as a tear rolled down my cheek."He came looking for me," I whispered."If Bates hadn't been there, he wouldn't have gotten hurt-""You don't know that," Luca said."Bates could have easily been caught in the crossfire at the gate if he weren't with you."The intensity behind his eyes made me press back into the doorframe."With everyon
The first conscious thought I remember having was in the upstairs loft.It was dark outside.The moon was hidden by storm clouds, the occasional flash of lightning illuminating the room briefly. I could hear the strong gusts of wind, the rumbling of thunder, and the sheets of rain that pounded into the roof above me.I smelt like paint and misery.The canvas I'd dedicated months to laid in front of me, it's frame mangled and bent. The once carefully detailed collage of colors making up a portrait had been smeared haphazardly with black paint that also coated my hands.Sitting with my back in a corner, knees pulled into my chest, I felt a like a shell of a human.All the emotional energy I owned had been completely spent. I had cried until I couldn't cry anymore. My throat felt like l'd swallowed acid, raw with the screaming that came alongside mourning two traumatic deaths.The only thing I had left was a broken, beating heart.And all I could do was sleep.I didn't want to be awake.
My knees gave out from under me as I fell into the tree I stood next to, leaning on it with my entire body weight.His eyes were open, lifelessly staring into the abyss above him while blood flowed freely from the corner of his mouth into the hands of his daughter who held him.I felt my bottom lip begin to quiver, a feeling washing over me that wavered between grief and shock. Mady looked down at him, tears falling uncontrollably from her eyes, rolling down her chin and neck.Her cry could be heard throughout the forest, making Luca visibly nervous as he looked around us to see who was listening."Mady, we need to get you and Carrie out of here, okay?" He said gently.She fisted her father's flannel shirt in her hands as Luca touched her shoulders, urging her to stand."You can come back to him when it's safe," Luca told her."But right now you need to leave."Mady shook her head, struggling to breathe through her convulsive sobs. I could tell Luca was growing more and more anxious,
My paws bounded out in front of me.Haunches driving into the soil and propelling me forward, I was running quicker than I ever could on two feet.I had Bates's clothes in my mouth, holding them tight against the wind that blew in my face.Thankfully, the oversized clothing hadn't ripped the first time l'd shifted, but I wasn't taking any chances the second time.I bolted through the trees, following the metallic odor of blood that wafted through the pack land. I could only hope I wasn't following the smell of my own injuries.Hearing a deep growl, I skidded to a stop, coming up a portion of the densely wooded area where a large wolf stood in my path.The dark gray wolf stared me down, the fur on his neck standing at attention.I dropped the clothing from my mouth and snarled as a warning for him to move.He stood his ground, maintaining his gaze.Snapping my teeth, I took a few quick steps forward. But his stance remained solid, still blocking the path.A vision of Bates's bloody sku
Before my lungs could fill with air to scream, he lunged at Bates and I, jumping over the table.With a quick shove, Bates pushed against my shoulders and the chair rolled backwards in just enough time to separate us before my dad tackled him to the ground.My bare feet slid across the floor as I rolled backwards, unable to gain enough traction to stop myself before the chair came to an abrupt halt as it hit the wall.The sound of shredding fabric bounced between the concrete walls as Bates shifted into his wolf.I sprinted towards the two of them, watching as my father pinned Bates to the ground with strength that surprised me seeing as Bates had shifted and my father had not.I leapt onto my father's back, arms wrapping around his neck as my weight threw him off balance and we both fell to the floor."Stop!" I screamed, holding onto him as tight as I could while he stood back to his feet.I gasped as he pulled me over his shoulder by my elbow, my arm popping as it was jerked out of