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170
“This is stupid… I’m not pregnant.”
“You have to pee on this bit and put the lid back on… Do you need me to come in and help?”
“Really? Help me pee on a stick?” I frown at him and he sort of shrugs. Ever since he went for this damn thing at stupid o’clock, he has practically harassed me nonstop to do it already. I want to go to bed and be left alone.
I think he’s read the instructions a dozen times and I take it from him roughly and roll my eyes.
“Maybe you should do the test, as sometimes, I think you are definitely the girl in this relationship.” I huff at him in irritation so done with this topic now and turn to head for the bathroom. Quicker I get this
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“Don’t talk to me” I yell at him as he walks into the bedroom and turns and walks straight back out with a frown and a sigh, doing his best not to fight with me again. We have been fighting all day about everything and nothing and I am being my crazy, irrational self-right now, who doesn’t want to converse or touch in any way. Good old Sophie is reverting inside her head to deal with this shit and Arry is on the verge of some sort of silent mental break down.Feeling enraged, crazy upset that this is ruining everything for us. My head’s a chaos of mess and conflicting thoughts and fear.A baby, a real live little human being inside of me, that we put there, and it screws everything up. I can’t go home unless by land and sea and Arry would never be okay with that long-haul journey. He wants me to stay put until I can fly again, stay put when he goes back to our city to finish the last weeks of his ties to his family business and leave
The Carrero Heart (series book 2) 172
Two weeks of nightmare life, all down to me, my moods and erratic behavior that has tested every single ounce of Arricks patience. I think he’s literally seen every bad version of me there is and then some, and I can’t help it.The idea that I am pregnant has well and truly sunk in, but I don’t love it any more than I did and feel a huge sense of resentment that I have to stay here while he flies home today to do whatever he needs to do. In the end Jake couldn’t sway his father to change the plans as he is digging his heels in. I think he is punishing Arrick over leaving the company and using his last weeks as a weapon to piss him off.We haven’t told anyone except Jake and Emma about the baby yet, sworn them to the upmost secrecy and I wouldn’t even talk to her on the phone about it. I’m not ready for sweet cozy chats about motherhood. I don’t want all that happiness and congratulations aimed at me when all I can think a
The Carrero Heart (series book 2) 173
Arry doesn’t come back, he texts from the airport and says he needs time to cool off and will call me when he lands. I don’t bother replying and he doesn’t text again to see why I don’t.Heartbroken that he went and did the one thing he never does; walked out and left me when we are fighting the worst kind of fight. It feels like a betrayal, that he’s broken a promise and the way I am feeling, I want to hate him. Hating him for four days will be easier than missing him.I go to the kitchen and grab the ice cream from the freezer, eating so much I make myself throw up and then lay on bed feeling about a thousand times worse. I despise that he can make me feel this desolate, that when we argue he becomes the one obsessive thought in my head, and I cannot function beyond it.
The Carrero Heart (series book 2) 174
“Merci, Doctor. Rousea. I will take care of her.” Janetta ushers the man out of my bedroom and I stay where I am, laid on the bed, numb and lifeless with no feelings or thoughts in my head. Like an empty shelf of nothingness as time ticks slowly by.It all happened so fast that it seems like a dream to me now. I don’t even remember how I even got here… I remember only the basics like some long lost almost forgotten memory and then here he was, this man examining me, and she was wiping my tears and holding my hand through the pain. There was so much pain. I saw it. I knew before he had his hands on me. I knew before Janetta turned to me with a white pallor and pained expression because I saw it all. The little thing he lifted from the bathroom floor, so small it was barely real and scooped into a little plastic tu
The Carrero Heart (series book 2) 175
I wake up in bed with Arrick wrapped around me, still fully dressed, on top of the sheets and holding me tight, with his face against my cheek. He’s asleep and I can tell by his messy appearance that he crawled in with me as soon as he walked in the door. He still has his shoes on, and his suitcase is propped against the bedroom door with his jacket laid over the top.I fell asleep and didn’t wake, so it’s like I only spoke to him minutes ago, when in reality, I have lost whole days already. The painkillers the doctor gave me must have knocked me out cold, to not even wake when he got on the bed. I have no clue how long it’s been since he left here. I watch his slow even breaths, oblivious to my being awake, afraid to move for a moment.He must have got in the early hours and even though it feels good to wake up in
The Carrero Heart (series book 2) 176
“Here.” Arrick hands me the salad bowl around my mom’s table where everyone is eating, barely looking me in the eye and avoids touching me when I slide the bowl out of his grip. I told him I didn’t want anyone to know beyond Jake and Emma right now and I want to act normal and enjoy being home for once. Just one normal afternoon before I single out my mother and talk to her. I know he’s told Jake from the beginning; I mean I always knew he would. He tells him everything and Jake would have told Emma, so even though I haven’t had a chance to talk to her yet, I can tell by her glances my way that she knows.We are playing polite and nice, idle chit chat with a table of mixed Carrero and Huntsbergers who all appeared for food when they found out we were here. Arrick and I are masters of appearing unemotional and fine; we are doing it to Oscar winning standards and no one seems to be any wiser to the fact we are barely able to look at each othe
The Carrero Heart (series book 2) 177
I find Arrick in the garden on his own, sitting on a swing in the shadow of the trees under his childhood treehouse, lost in thought as he picks at grass on the ground underneath him.He looks crazy young, hanging from the seat to lean down and makes me hate how these past few weeks between us have been. It’s easy to forget all we are to each other when faced with all this bullshit. Watching him now is a reminder of sitting here on summer days and laughing at his lame jokes, a happier time that warms me a little to my core.I slide into the swing next to him and gaze at him for a moment, and yet even though I can tell he sees me, he doesn’t react. Carries on picking at blades and acting like I’m invisible.“You giving me the silent treatment now?” I nudge into him by swinging myself over and he frowns and carries on killing grass. The air of petulant boy that’s more expected of his brother than him and for the first time in we
The Carrero Heart (series book 2) 178
“What are you doing, Kiddo?” Jake nudges me in the side as he comes up beside me on the wooden bench, where I have been watching their kids play together from afar. Sat in the far end of their beautiful gardens under the shade of the trees.Arrick left. I don’t know if he drove one of his family cars back to the city or hopped on a flight, but all I know is he is gone and has been for a couple of hours.“Sitting in your garden” I clear my throat and avoid eye contact, knowing fine well what he means.“Breaking up with the guy you want to marry and sending him packing? We both know you can’t survive without him, so I am asking again… What are you doing?” Jake slides his legs out casually and stretches beside me, occupying way too much space to ignore him and I sink back beside him with a huge sigh.“Trying to get though whatever this is, alone for once. To stop needing other people to help fix me
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