School is stressing me out today, Christian and Jenny are squabbling in the corner and I have had to redraft this pattern a dozen times already. My focus is all over the place and the interruptions by Karen, another classmate, are making me crazy. I should have just stayed home.
I woke up moody and irritable and when Arrick got up to shower I found myself lying in bed and staring at his phone, contemplating if he deleted texts from her. I know it’s stupid. I pushed away the temptation to look at his phone, hating that my mind even went there and knowing how wrong it would be. I would go crazy if he looked through mine, even though there’s nothing I wouldn’t show him. I know I trust him, but my heart and my head are gnawing themselves apart with her swirling around between us. I have so many insecurities from before; his choice to have a life with her and not me. His decisi
“We’re running late from this fight promo, baby, we’ll meet you at the alley maybe twenty minutes after you get there. Nate says can you tell Jen too.” Arrick is on the phone, surrounded by background noise and sounding cheerful. I’m already home, where he was supposed to meet me, and getting ready, and I sigh heavily. Irritation rising because he’s never late and because Nathan can go fuck himself as far as I am concerned. Still not pleased with the way he’s treating my girl.“You suck. You know how much I hate getting cabs alone at this time of night. Tell Nate to text Jen himself, I’m not his secretary!” I snap a little harshly. I’m not really mad at Arry, just irritated that it’s going to be another hour before I see him, and all day I have only wanted a hug from him. So listless and all over the place with my emotions, and he always makes me feel so much more grounded. It was a shitty day at school,
I stand laughing at Christian’s awful attempt to get the ball down the ten-pin bowling alley with the help of Jenny; they are both equally poor at this and Claire, one of Arrick’s friends I have known a long time is standing laughing beside me. She loves Christian and seems to find him equally amusing. Her short sassy red hair, framing an elfin face and almost lavender grey eyes are homed in on the two of them mirroring my amused expression.“Chris is way too hot to be gay.” She appraises him bending over and sighs hopelessly, despite being married to Jason, she does have an eye for a nice ass. I like Claire, she’s one of Arry’s oldest friends and has been around this group as long as I have known him. She is married to Jason, another long-termer and are pretty much the unofficial mom and dad of this group. Everyone looks to them for advice.“Trust me, he’s way gay. That much drama would never be found in a straight man.&
Nate wanders towards me after finally taking his throw and surprisingly smashing a strike, grins at me and pinches my cheek in passing.“Green is not a good color on you, kiddo. Arry ain’t a guy that deals with it either.” He reminds me and wanders off to pick Jenny up and throw a kiss on her; unusual for a guy who normally keeps his dates hanging on him and acts like he doesn’t give a toss. I start to wonder how much he feels for her after all. Clearly happy with his crappy bowling score and being weirdly affectionate for a fuck buddy. I scowl his way, catch sight of Natasha throwing a hug on Arrick in the background, all smiles and doe eyes and he seems to endure it rather than give one back, but I spin away regardless, in a rage again. This time I really cannot control the wave of hate towards her, for even touch
Arrick half carries me, half walks me backwards from the elevator, mouth glued to mine as he kisses me passionately, hands all over me and things getting steamier than they have since Leila’s party. Fingers roaming one another, not looking where we are stumbling and fully focused on making each other as horny as humanly possible without physically putting our hands in each other’s pants. He has my hair all messed up and in my face from running his hand through it, using it to tug my head to one side as he angles in, giving me about the most body curling kiss known to man. His tongue seems to be doing a whole new thing with mine and my insides are going to self-implode with the amount of scorching fizz going off. We bang into a wall, then a table, giggle without breaking our connection and his hand skirts up under my dress to cup my ass and guide me a little more directly into his apartment.
I can feel him staring at me as I try to think and impulsively throw a cushion at him in a bid to block him out, unable to have him look at me that way when I know I’m the one being mental. I’m suffocating inside, and my head is so crammed full of conflicting thoughts that I want to rip my brain out.“Go away.” I snap childishly, tearfully, as the rage dies, and I start to get embarrassed and ashamed of the epic meltdown I just had. I should be apologizing, I know this, and he’s looking at me like I should know this, yet I can’t. There is that tiny little stubborn mini-me who wants to slap him about the head, shake some sense into him and tell him once and for all to make her disappear for me.“Why the fuck are you punishing me for her calling? Am I answering the fucking phone, Sophie?” He&rsq
There’s strong muscle around me, arms gripping tight, warm skin on mine as I try like crazy to fight back; completely lost in my internal darkness and the memories of shadows and pain, so much pain. I can hear someone screaming, yelling, but it’s so far and disconnected from me that I can’t even begin to find them or where it’s coming from. So completely consumed in the fight to keep myself from being broken all over again with no hope of escape this time.Like a flash of light, a trickle of lucidity, I’m suddenly on the floor with weight on top of me, trying to restrain the arms against every part of me, fighting tooth and nail while tears pour down my face.“No, NO … NOOO!” I’m screaming hysterically. I am the noise I could hear so far away, it was me; I was the screaming girl in the
“Shit … I’m seriously going to be late.” I’m running around looking for my shoes and trying to get myself together before Christian picks me up for the school open day. So not with it, still half drunk, feeling like shit and in need of way more sleep, trying not to dwell on last night and Arry has not brought it up at all. He’s acting like it never happened, although we literally haven’t had a second to think since I opened my eyes. He is trying to help me to get myself together and just keeps getting in my way, clucking around me, clearly still in protector mode.I’m not a morning person, I never have been, and I’m so unbelievably irritable this morning. I think it’s the after-effects of last night and dreams filled with horrid memories that left me exhausted and raw inside. I know I must have been crying out in my sleep, I woke several times to Arrick calming me down and pulling me close, stroking my face and tell
Arrick doesn’t say anything, just smiles at me and then pulls his top over his head in one easy movement, that flawless physique on show, rippling lines of toned muscle and dark art and my stomach flips over with the sight of it. His body never fails to get my heart racing, tracing the fine line of fair hair up his abs until it blends to smooth skin and then meets the scattering across his chest. He’s so much sexier than he was as a teen; losing that air of boyishness and growing into maturity really did increase his level of hotness. He was always cute, nicely toned, and sexy, yet he came into his own after twenty-one.“Better?” He smirks cheekily, watching the progression of my fingertips and tensing his stomach with every tickle and caress. I watch it mesmerized, longing to see the rest of him even more so now.“Umm … you know these really should stay dry, best if they come off too.” I tug at his sweatpants and smile when h