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I sit in the ladies’ restroom on a soft plush chaise lounge in the washing area. It’s the only place I could get to quickly that was private enough to bring myself back to inner calm. My head is all over the place. This is about more than just Jake. It’s everything. I’ve been holding it all in since the morning after my mother left. Her, my lack of ability to stay in control, the aching loneliness of Jake’s absence, and now seeing him. It’s all too much.
Maybe it’s time I faced reality and looked for another job. I was stupid to think I could work here, only floors away from him. Acting like we don’t know each other anymore. I just can’t do it.
I can’t handle the thought that any time I leave this floor I might see him. There’s a chance we could run into one another anywhere in this building, and I’ve just proven I can’t deal with it.
Looking around at the contemporary furnish
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The Carrero Effect 95
I walk up the hall toward my desk glancing at the clock. I’ve been gone almost two hours, but something tells me Wilma won’t mind. I’ve worked like crazy since coming here and she seems to trust my skills. I’ve returned a lot calmer and happier. I’ll happily put in the hours at the end of the day to make sure she knows I’m not abusing my second chance at being here. She’ll be happy with that. Plus, now I have some sort of plan about what I’m going to do, I feel better. I’ve always liked plans and control, knowing where I’m going and what I’m doing. Despite it not being exactly what I want in life, it’s a step forward with a new focus. Determined to move on I have a notebook full of jobs to look at later tonight, resolving to apply for at least one of them.I beam at her as I pass her glass walled office and she grins back, phone to her ear and animated hand gestures. I’ll miss her, even though my ti
The Carrero Effect 96
I swallow hard, a wave of fear creeps up from my toes and envelopes my body.“You and I need to talk … Now!” He slams the door, latching it so no one else can enter. I’m sure the entire floor heard the bang. My body stiffens, this is the last thing I need. Being in here and feeling the way I do; I have no defensive play for him this way.How can he just sweep in like a tornado and ruin me? All the control I mustered, all that inner calm, gone, with just his voice and a look.I turn away, sure he’ll see the emotion filling my eyes as I pull the file from the copier, throwing it among the piles I’ve laid out. It’s a good excuse to keep my head turned away, using the task to stop tears from spilling over while I scramble to hold on to any control I have left.The only thing I manage to say is, &ldquo
The Carrero Effect 97
“What do you want to ask me, Emma?” He leans against the wall of the elevator and casually sprawls back, crossing a foot at the ankle over his other and perching his butt against the handrail. His hands are in his pockets and he’s looking at the floor. This is the Prince Carrero pose I’ve seen so many times before, relaxed, in his domain. I eye him up warily and sigh down my rejections to his manhandling.“Ray Vanquis,” I utter quietly. He looks up, but I’m unable to meet his eyes. When I don’t say anything else, he stands upright and steps toward me.“Has he contacted you?” his anger evident with each word. “What has he done? Has he hurt you?” His hand grabs my wrist, pulling me to him, harshly. There is a fire in his eyes, an instant rage almost boiling over. His body is hunched into me, as a sort of protective shield and his face is terrifying. Sharp angles and simmering fury.“No,
The Carrero Effect 98
It’s dark out by the time I look up. I stretch out my back and get out of my seat. I’ve placed more than twenty calls, emailed back and forth with several PAs dealing with invites for various important people, and I’ve liaised with the event planner. I’m sure there’s nothing else I can do tonight since it’s nearly 7.00 p.m.The weather’s moving toward winter so the sun’s setting earlier. I didn’t expect it to be this dark. I regret staying so late, since the walk from the station in Queens will be dark and slightly frightening.I clear up my desk and power down my laptop then pick up my coat and bag, walking to the elevator with a stifling yawn. It pings, the doors open, and I enter, not surprised to find it empty. The elevator slows down and pings again, I look up to notice it’s stopped at the fourteenth floor. Odd, since very few staff stay beyond five thirty. I don’t think Jake and I ever left before
The Carrero Effect 99
“Now, Emma!” He growls my way and I realize this is futile, he won’t let me leave until I do. I take a deep breath and stare at him, telling him in detail, as much as I can remember. He sits the whole time in silence, jaw clenched and brows down in an angry glare, watching me intensely. I hate him looking at me that way. I’m doubting myself, wondering if he’s thinking I’m being a drama queen. If he even believes me or is wondering why I would assume Dan had done anything wrong.When I’m done, he pulls out his cell and barks orders at some poor soul, issuing marching orders on grounds of sexual harassment. He stills while they explain something to him on the other end of the line.“Then set it up … Him, you and whatever legal team representatives are available, first thing … Offer him severance. I don’t give a shit! … I want him gone! No one lays a hand on any woman in this company without conseq
The Carrero Effect 100
“Do you like working with Wilma?” he finally asks, keeping his eyes steady, nothing in his voice betraying what he might be thinking and I sigh, somehow disappointed in his question but I don’t know why..“I guess … It’s not as challenging as working for you though … Feels more like a holiday.” I giggle as he tries to grab my leg impulsively, once again the atmosphere reverting to old, squeezing it in punishment. I bat his hand away realizing painfully we’re forgetting ourselves again so easily. He straightens back up and shakes his head at me with a mock glare, his features relaxing as he sighs and smiles instead. That genuine non showy real one.I miss that smile.“I missed that sound.” His revelation silences me, the ache inside grows bigger, and I try not to look directly at him.“I missed your grumpy bad moods and overbearing demands.” I reply wittily, trying to
The Carrero Effect 101
I don’t know what to say. I’m completely dumbstruck into silence. I want to rewind to seconds ago when his mouth was on me and his fingers sliding inside of me when I didn’t want him to stop. I’m reeling with confusion, stung by his instant rage and close to tears. My heartache returning with a passion as he walks off from the car into darkness for a few minutes. I can barely make out his powerful figure as he paces back and forth. He seems to be really pissed off, trying to regain some control, arguing with himself. If it weren’t so traumatic it would be kind of funny to watch.I try to pull in my thoughts, hauling my skirt around me a little, trying to conceal as much nakedness as I can before he returns. He spins toward the car, and stalks back with a glare of sheer fury as he slams into his seat with a closed off expression on his face. He doesn’t look at me, just throws us into reverse at speed, causing me to shoot forward. His hand da
The Carrero Effect 102
“Maybe you should call him then … He owes you an explanation, Emma … You can’t just keep second guessing him all the time.” She picks up my phone and lays it on my chest, but I don’t move. The last thing I want to do is call him. He’ll be driving back to Manhattan anyway, back to his apartment, miles away from me. He wouldn’t pick up.“Can we drop this?” I sit up so the phone slides down my body and lands on the bed. She sighs and flops back beside me, flat so her head is nestled in my cushions. Thinking for a moment, she sits up and takes my hand.“You know what the biggest problem with you two is?” Sarah blinks at me but I just glare at her and offer no response.“You don’t communicate with one another when it comes to feelings. You’re as bad as each other. Neither of you seem capable of just coming out with it and putting your heart on the line. I don’t think he&
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