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100
“Do you like working with Wilma?” he finally asks, keeping his eyes steady, nothing in his voice betraying what he might be thinking and I sigh, somehow disappointed in his question but I don’t know why..
“I guess … It’s not as challenging as working for you though … Feels more like a holiday.” I giggle as he tries to grab my leg impulsively, once again the atmosphere reverting to old, squeezing it in punishment. I bat his hand away realizing painfully we’re forgetting ourselves again so easily. He straightens back up and shakes his head at me with a mock glare, his features relaxing as he sighs and smiles instead. That genuine non showy real one.
I miss that smile.
“I missed that sound.” His revelation silences me, the ache inside grows bigger, and I try not to look directly at him.
“I missed your grumpy bad moods and overbearing demands.” I reply wittily, trying to
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I don’t know what to say. I’m completely dumbstruck into silence. I want to rewind to seconds ago when his mouth was on me and his fingers sliding inside of me when I didn’t want him to stop. I’m reeling with confusion, stung by his instant rage and close to tears. My heartache returning with a passion as he walks off from the car into darkness for a few minutes. I can barely make out his powerful figure as he paces back and forth. He seems to be really pissed off, trying to regain some control, arguing with himself. If it weren’t so traumatic it would be kind of funny to watch.I try to pull in my thoughts, hauling my skirt around me a little, trying to conceal as much nakedness as I can before he returns. He spins toward the car, and stalks back with a glare of sheer fury as he slams into his seat with a closed off expression on his face. He doesn’t look at me, just throws us into reverse at speed, causing me to shoot forward. His hand da
The Carrero Effect 102
“Maybe you should call him then … He owes you an explanation, Emma … You can’t just keep second guessing him all the time.” She picks up my phone and lays it on my chest, but I don’t move. The last thing I want to do is call him. He’ll be driving back to Manhattan anyway, back to his apartment, miles away from me. He wouldn’t pick up.“Can we drop this?” I sit up so the phone slides down my body and lands on the bed. She sighs and flops back beside me, flat so her head is nestled in my cushions. Thinking for a moment, she sits up and takes my hand.“You know what the biggest problem with you two is?” Sarah blinks at me but I just glare at her and offer no response.“You don’t communicate with one another when it comes to feelings. You’re as bad as each other. Neither of you seem capable of just coming out with it and putting your heart on the line. I don’t think he&
The Carrero Effect 103
“Rosalie.” I smile, graciously, as I arrive. I don’t wait for her to announce my presence to Jake, his door is sitting half open, so I walk straight in. He’s typing on his laptop, eyes narrowed in concentration. The sight of him jars me as he’s sat in a pale blue shirt, open, as usual at the collar, sleeves rolled up. He looks too divine for words and I can almost forget how pissed at him I am for a second. His dark hair is freshly trimmed and styled. He looks like a model for businessman of the year and I still my beating heart and clear my throat to catch his attention.“Sit. Emma.” He thrusts a thumb to the chair which always sits at the side of his desk, without looking up.Hmmm. Like father like son!“You’d better shut the door too.” He adds as I go to move forward. I sigh loudly, then turn and shut the door. I should be acting grateful instead of irritated because I know he’s callin
The Carrero Effect 104
“Feeling any better?” Wilma’s arm is around my shoulder. Her soft voice is in my ear as she rubs my back in her office. I had a full-blown emotional break down and did something I never ever imagined PA Emma would ever do. I told her everything about Jake, and how I really feel about him in a fit of blubbering sobs. Things I haven’t even told Sarah. I blame the maternal pull Wilma has over me and the darn gentle look she manages to throw my way at every opportunity. I’m using an almost empty packet of scrunched up Kleenex to mop up my mess of a face, sniffing down the last dregs of my self-esteem.She sat and listened, and nodded, and some of the time, I saw that knowing look in her eye and assumed Margo had told her the odd tidbit of my sorrowful tale. She listened quietly, her gentle touch on me the whole time, letting me get it all out. She seems unsurprised to know I had sex with Jake. But then I gues
The Carrero Effect 105
I walk into the empty apartment two hours later, dump my bag on the table and survey the room. I don’t even want to be here, I should be at work organizing, instead of coming home to sob into my pillow. I need to get a grip of my life. Wilma is right and all of this has been non-stop, yet all I’ve done is bury my head in the sand and pushed myself to go to work, never taking the time to absorb it all. I need time to think. Real time to myself, to figure out what I’m going to do.Do I want to work in Europe? No … I don’t want to leave New York. Do I want to leave Carrero House? No. I love working there, it’s familiar and stable. Plus, I adore Wilma, Margo, and even Rosalie. I would miss the people I see every day even though we don’t interact much. I couldn’t leave Sarah. I mean, I know she has Marcus and lately, I’m starting to warm to him a little. I even laughed at
The Carrero Effect 106
I get up with renewed vigor the next morning. I’ve slept better than I have for days and somehow, I‘m more able to cope. I eat, wave Sarah off to work and tell her I have a day off to get ready for the dance. It’s not a complete lie as I intend to get ready in grand fashion, going to lengths I’ve never bothered with before. Wilma is right, a good dress and a girly night with Leila will help. I intend to follow Leila’s example. Something she taught me on the yacht was pampering is an enjoyable girly pursuit and can almost fool you into believing you don’t have a broken heart. She also told me that a good night with a girlfriend can change your whole outlook on life.I manage to book an appointment at a beauty salon for just after noon and I’m having the works. Nails, hair, waxing, make-up. I have a room full of people to impress, who have seen nothing but gaunt and lifeless Emma for weeks. Senior Carrero will be there, and I want to re
The Carrero Effect 107
“Oh, I promised someone a first slow dance.” Leila turns me, shoving me into Jake, hard. He automatically reacts and catches me, again, keeping me upright as I collide with his chest, righting me once more. He lets me go as though I’ve burned him, shifting apart and upping the awkward tension between us. “Keep her warm for me until I come back, Jacob!” She grins cheekily and takes off at speed.“That girl …” he utters tightly, avoiding my face.“You’ve got to love her though.” I shrug, biting my lip. The nervousness is overwhelming me, unable to look at his face and the music is moving into full swing as couples move around us, joining together to sway. I fidget with my hair awkwardly and shuffle my feet, looking around for a quick exit. This is beyond unbearable and incredibly intense. I catch him glaring at my fingers mid-twirl and release the strand nervously. He can still close me down with a look.
The Carrero Effect 108
The doubts I had about Jake in the past are dispersed with the strength of the look he’s giving me. His pain and heartbreak mirrored in mine, that same longing to have me as I have wanted him.I think Jake loves me!My world spins, the realization that everything I’ve felt, everything I’ve been so afraid of is right here in his green depths, staring back at me without hesitation.“Come with me?” he whispers, even though the room is noisy, I hear him loud and clear and nod. His gaze is focused so intently on me, flicking from my eyes to my mouth. His face flickering as he concentrates on my lips as though he’s experiencing internal pain. He kisses me again, lightly, sending flutters through me, tingles to every cell. A sweet kiss, not one of passion and misunderstanding but a ‘You’re mine and I can’t believe get to touch you this way’ kiss.He lets go of my face and grabs my
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