An hour or so later I’m staring at my reflection in the mirror, unsure how to feel as Leila and Andre gush over my new hair. It’s cut to shoulder length, but the natural wave of my hair has pulled it up by a couple of inches, the weight which had kept it straighter now gone. It’s lying in natural beachy waves, framing my face and he has lightened my tawny color with some sheer highlights, so I am transformed. Younger, softer, blonder.
I shake my head, enjoying it moving around my face freely as it’s different. So un-me. This is a huge step; cutting away my security, so that it hangs loose around me at all times, too short to really tie up in the way I always did. I wonder how often I’ll have Jake pull my hands out of my hair now, when I fidget.This was such a dumb idea.I am all big eyes and pouty lips now, more like a vulnerable child.“I love it … You look super sexy yet, adorable still!” Leila grins at me via mLeila chatters non-stop while touching up her make-up in the car. The journey is short, and before we know it, we’re stepping out onto a scene from the movie Cocktail.The restaurant is nice and private, it has a beach theme with little palm roofs over each table which spill out onto the sand, near the shore, strung with fairy lights which are twinkling now that the light is fading.As we approach from the entrance, we spot our party immediately and make our way across the crowded sands of the outer part of the bistro. Jake has picked us an almost shore-side table. He stands up as we approach, unaware that we’ve arrived.He’s gorgeous in a white shirt and blue designer jeans over sneakers, while talking to Daniel in a rather animated way as Daniel hops about beside his chair, demonstrating something ridiculous. They’re both laughing heartily, Richard shaking his head at whatever they’re reminiscing about and his twin crimson with sheer em
Having Jake keeping the conversation light and funny helps a lot being he’s a great socializer. He knows how to keep the chatter flowing, he’s attentive and quick witted and draws everyone in, even the dreaded Marissa. All previous tension forgotten as we all return to happy.He revels in company and I can imagine what he was like in his teens, hanging out with friends. I wish I’d met him then and seen what adolescent Jake was like. I imagine he wouldn’t be very different, only younger, maybe with a less powerful physique, less stubble. I doubt he would have liked teenage Emma, though. Not his type at all.The cocktails come regularly and soon I’m warm and floaty, I’ve even managed to carry out a coherent conversation with Leila and Richard, despite the swaying; we’ve talked books and movies and the more time I spend with this girl, the more I like her.Jake watches us and smiles, a hint of affection in his eyes. He likes that
“It’s kind of heartbreaking to watch him suffer … Unrequited love.” Richard breaks in, stifling a grimace as Daniel slaps his back with a noisy ‘thwap’.“Fuck you. Both of you.” An annoyed tone and no smile.“You know when you know … Right?” Vincent throws a wink at Daniel too and three of the four men burst out laughing, Daniel rolls his eyes and gives them the finger.“Tried so damn hard to let him down gently, he’s just too sensitive.” Jake ruffles Daniels hair playfully, chuckling at him.“I’ve caught him sobbing into his Hagen Das a few times when you stood him up, Jakey.” Richard shoves Daniel in the ribs playfully and they all laugh at their friend.“He stole my Endless Love CD when you missed his birthday bash last year. Perfect crying anthems on there.” Leila quips in, throwing a huge grin at Jake, yet avoiding Hunter completely.
As much as I wanted to go to bed, or lay down, the full sway of my drunkenness hits me, fueling my desire to join the party. The lights on the deck glow beautifully in the dark and the thrum of music from speakers give it a romantic vibe. Leila has a tray of cocktails and they look too good. It’s then I find out she spent one summer here as a barmaid and has a wealth of knowledge on tasty drinks. Despite a super-rich family, it seems Leila is pretty self-sufficient at times. She loves nothing more than sharing anecdotes of her past experiences and she has a humorous way of reliving the past.“I should stop, I think I’ve had enough.” I try to reject Leila’s push of another, now that I’m barely upright anymore, and should probably sit down. I’ve overdone it way more than I intended and now it’s dark and the boat is moving all around me as though we are on a stormy sea.“Hush now, we’re on vacation … Party, pa
“I was young, it’s just sex. I was pretty much partying and pissing my dad off at every turn.” I stumble on the carpeted floor and he rights me, holding me close. I notice him sway a little as we head through the door to the internal hall of the boat indicating he isn’t much more sober than I am. I’m glad he’s leaning against me though; I’m finding it so much harder to walk than I realized.“You don’t do group sex anymore?” I hiccup. Hating myself for saying.Why the hell am I so obsessed with this topic? I do not even want to know any of this.He eyes me warily, a soft questioning smile on his lips, showing those neat white teeth, devastating dimples and I’m instantly distracted.“I like your smile.” I say, alcohol very effectively removing my internal filter again.“No, I don’t, and I like that you like my smile, shorty.” He stops and pushes me against the wall
“Why?”I don’t know.Jake called me it before, and I felt like he was talking to a puppy. Maybe it’s calling me “girl” … Ray called me girl. Stupid, slutty, cock teasing, little girl. I always hated it.“Just don’t …” I flinch as he smiles and slowly pulls me the rest of the way to cuddle me; I’m on my feet against him. It’s unexpected and so gentle and I’m instantly sagging into his body greedily. Held solidly in a bear hug. When he loosens his hold to let me go, I stumble backward, grabbing onto him, but the sheer suddenness of it catches him off guard. His own drunken stupor causing a loss of balance. He leans forward to steady me, catch me, losing his footing too.Somehow, we both end up falling flat on the bed behind me. Him on top of me, nose to nose, and laughing like fools at the awkwardness of our ungraceful collapse. His face so close, like the night we shared a bed, h
I’m grasping the rail with white knuckles and leaning over, scanning the dark sea frantically. The ship’s crew are out on small boats searching the water and Jake’s already dove in and swam back twice. I’m hysterical about the fact he’s this drunk and yet swimming to find his friend in an almost pitch-black ocean. Watching the water with fear gripping my throat, holding my breath with every dive he takes and willing them to find him so Jake will get out of the water. I’ve never been so terrified in my life that I can barely move.“He’s here, Mr. Carrero.” Yells one of the crew from the lifeboat; I spin to them, flashlights illuminating the hauling of a lifeless body into it under the moonlight.Oh my god.* * *I’m sitting in my room and I’m tired and cold, I haven’t slept. Last night was hell, Daniel was airlifted to a hospital on the mainland, he’s okay but it gave all of us a hug
“Are you ever going to just learn to let go when you’re sober, Miss. Anderson?” His voice is hoarse from tiredness, the change in its normally clear tone is devastatingly alluring.“What do you mean?” I blanche.“I can feel you … Stiffer than a board …Why so formal after last night?” He smiles again, tickling the skin at my shoulder with his mouth and breath, his tone flirty. I wasn’t expecting this kind of conversation, especially after the kitchen kiss. I want the kitchen kiss conversation, the “sorry we were drunk, it never happened” speech. I’ve no clue what to say, so I swallow and chew my lip, twisting my hair; practically ripping the strand from my scalp. He reaches up, still with closed eyes and tugs my hand out of it. He has that annoying habit perfected nowadays; he can even do it when not looking.“Relax, I only want to sleep,” he mumbles, returning his arm to its pr