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2024-10-29 19:42:56We spend lunch on deck with the rest of the party, eating chicken Caesar salad and drinking wine, relaxing on the padded double loungers on the main deck. Jake’s beside me, leaning toward Daniel’s bed, his strong back covered in a pale gray T-shirt, in the mid-day sun. They’re talking about the New York Giant’s game they recently went to at the MetLife Stadium, while I’m leaning toward the bed with Leila and Richard, engrossed in girl talk and making plans. Leila agrees to take me to the mainland for some girly shopping, and to source a salon to cut my hair.
I catch Jake staring back at me as she picks up strands of my hair, talking about cutting it short; he frowns when she mentions a real short pixie style, but I shrug it off. I wonder what he’s thinking. He seems only half tuned to what Daniel is saying, and more interested in how much of my tawny locks are to be shorn off.“I think you would suit maybe shoulder length.” LRelated chapters
The Carrero Effect 49
An hour or so later I’m staring at my reflection in the mirror, unsure how to feel as Leila and Andre gush over my new hair. It’s cut to shoulder length, but the natural wave of my hair has pulled it up by a couple of inches, the weight which had kept it straighter now gone. It’s lying in natural beachy waves, framing my face and he has lightened my tawny color with some sheer highlights, so I am transformed. Younger, softer, blonder.I shake my head, enjoying it moving around my face freely as it’s different. So un-me. This is a huge step; cutting away my security, so that it hangs loose around me at all times, too short to really tie up in the way I always did. I wonder how often I’ll have Jake pull my hands out of my hair now, when I fidget.This was such a dumb idea.I am all big eyes and pouty lips now, more like a vulnerable child.“I love it … You look super sexy yet, adorable still!” Leila grins at me via m
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Leila chatters non-stop while touching up her make-up in the car. The journey is short, and before we know it, we’re stepping out onto a scene from the movie Cocktail.The restaurant is nice and private, it has a beach theme with little palm roofs over each table which spill out onto the sand, near the shore, strung with fairy lights which are twinkling now that the light is fading.As we approach from the entrance, we spot our party immediately and make our way across the crowded sands of the outer part of the bistro. Jake has picked us an almost shore-side table. He stands up as we approach, unaware that we’ve arrived.He’s gorgeous in a white shirt and blue designer jeans over sneakers, while talking to Daniel in a rather animated way as Daniel hops about beside his chair, demonstrating something ridiculous. They’re both laughing heartily, Richard shaking his head at whatever they’re reminiscing about and his twin crimson with sheer em
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Having Jake keeping the conversation light and funny helps a lot being he’s a great socializer. He knows how to keep the chatter flowing, he’s attentive and quick witted and draws everyone in, even the dreaded Marissa. All previous tension forgotten as we all return to happy.He revels in company and I can imagine what he was like in his teens, hanging out with friends. I wish I’d met him then and seen what adolescent Jake was like. I imagine he wouldn’t be very different, only younger, maybe with a less powerful physique, less stubble. I doubt he would have liked teenage Emma, though. Not his type at all.The cocktails come regularly and soon I’m warm and floaty, I’ve even managed to carry out a coherent conversation with Leila and Richard, despite the swaying; we’ve talked books and movies and the more time I spend with this girl, the more I like her.Jake watches us and smiles, a hint of affection in his eyes. He likes that
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“It’s kind of heartbreaking to watch him suffer … Unrequited love.” Richard breaks in, stifling a grimace as Daniel slaps his back with a noisy ‘thwap’.“Fuck you. Both of you.” An annoyed tone and no smile.“You know when you know … Right?” Vincent throws a wink at Daniel too and three of the four men burst out laughing, Daniel rolls his eyes and gives them the finger.“Tried so damn hard to let him down gently, he’s just too sensitive.” Jake ruffles Daniels hair playfully, chuckling at him.“I’ve caught him sobbing into his Hagen Das a few times when you stood him up, Jakey.” Richard shoves Daniel in the ribs playfully and they all laugh at their friend.“He stole my Endless Love CD when you missed his birthday bash last year. Perfect crying anthems on there.” Leila quips in, throwing a huge grin at Jake, yet avoiding Hunter completely.
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As much as I wanted to go to bed, or lay down, the full sway of my drunkenness hits me, fueling my desire to join the party. The lights on the deck glow beautifully in the dark and the thrum of music from speakers give it a romantic vibe. Leila has a tray of cocktails and they look too good. It’s then I find out she spent one summer here as a barmaid and has a wealth of knowledge on tasty drinks. Despite a super-rich family, it seems Leila is pretty self-sufficient at times. She loves nothing more than sharing anecdotes of her past experiences and she has a humorous way of reliving the past.“I should stop, I think I’ve had enough.” I try to reject Leila’s push of another, now that I’m barely upright anymore, and should probably sit down. I’ve overdone it way more than I intended and now it’s dark and the boat is moving all around me as though we are on a stormy sea.“Hush now, we’re on vacation … Party, pa
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“I was young, it’s just sex. I was pretty much partying and pissing my dad off at every turn.” I stumble on the carpeted floor and he rights me, holding me close. I notice him sway a little as we head through the door to the internal hall of the boat indicating he isn’t much more sober than I am. I’m glad he’s leaning against me though; I’m finding it so much harder to walk than I realized.“You don’t do group sex anymore?” I hiccup. Hating myself for saying.Why the hell am I so obsessed with this topic? I do not even want to know any of this.He eyes me warily, a soft questioning smile on his lips, showing those neat white teeth, devastating dimples and I’m instantly distracted.“I like your smile.” I say, alcohol very effectively removing my internal filter again.“No, I don’t, and I like that you like my smile, shorty.” He stops and pushes me against the wall
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“Why?”I don’t know.Jake called me it before, and I felt like he was talking to a puppy. Maybe it’s calling me “girl” … Ray called me girl. Stupid, slutty, cock teasing, little girl. I always hated it.“Just don’t …” I flinch as he smiles and slowly pulls me the rest of the way to cuddle me; I’m on my feet against him. It’s unexpected and so gentle and I’m instantly sagging into his body greedily. Held solidly in a bear hug. When he loosens his hold to let me go, I stumble backward, grabbing onto him, but the sheer suddenness of it catches him off guard. His own drunken stupor causing a loss of balance. He leans forward to steady me, catch me, losing his footing too.Somehow, we both end up falling flat on the bed behind me. Him on top of me, nose to nose, and laughing like fools at the awkwardness of our ungraceful collapse. His face so close, like the night we shared a bed, h
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I’m grasping the rail with white knuckles and leaning over, scanning the dark sea frantically. The ship’s crew are out on small boats searching the water and Jake’s already dove in and swam back twice. I’m hysterical about the fact he’s this drunk and yet swimming to find his friend in an almost pitch-black ocean. Watching the water with fear gripping my throat, holding my breath with every dive he takes and willing them to find him so Jake will get out of the water. I’ve never been so terrified in my life that I can barely move.“He’s here, Mr. Carrero.” Yells one of the crew from the lifeboat; I spin to them, flashlights illuminating the hauling of a lifeless body into it under the moonlight.Oh my god.* * *I’m sitting in my room and I’m tired and cold, I haven’t slept. Last night was hell, Daniel was airlifted to a hospital on the mainland, he’s okay but it gave all of us a hug
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The Carrero Effect 271
The Carrero Influence ~ The Dance ~ Jake shifted in his seat for the millionth time and tried once more to get his brain to focus on the laptop on the highly polished walnut surface. He just couldn’t keep himself on track lately. The sound of a female clearing her throat startled him to look up and the impatient stance of Margo waving a piece of paper with a raised eyebrow suggested she had been talking to him while he was zoned out. “Sorry. What?” He frowned and sighed heavily, pushing himself back into his molded leather chair and rolled up his shirt sleeves in agitation. “For God’s sake, Jacob. I’ve been here for three minutes talking at you. You need to just bloody well call her.” Margo’s stern tone did nothing to help his current mood, and he just shifted forward again to try to ignore that intent, chastising glare. He went to his laptop, ducking his head in an attempt to dodge her blue eyes and typed something aimlessly. “Don’t k
The Carrero Effect 270
The Carrero Influence~ The Elevator Scene ~Jake walked out of the boardroom meeting without any clue as to what he had just sat and endured for the last hour. Margo had been glaring his way and nudging him with her foot under the table every few minutes and making him all the more aware of how ‘out of it’ he was. He had been this way ever since his father’s email had come in, informing him that Emma was back in his building; Back within reach and he had no idea how to handle it. He didn’t know if he should be happy or panicked that he could just see her around his building again, he wasn’t sure how the hell to feel about it but couldn’t deny the slight feeling of hope in his chest that he could bump into her.If he was being honest, he hadn’t had his head in the game for weeks, not since he had sent her away and today was just another prime example of how ‘not well’ he was doing without her in his life.
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The Carrero Effect~ The Holiday: Part 2 ~Jake was searching under the water, too dark to see anything and scrambling with his hands at anything that felt like it could be Daniel. Panic gripping his stomach as he frantically surfaced for air and dove again. He had hit the water without a thought the second he knew Danny was in here. No cares that he was maybe too drunk for this and just endlessly searching despite his muscles aching and being so heavy he could barely move anymore. It felt like it had been hours instead of minutes and he still hadn’t found him. He wouldn’t give up on him, he wouldn’t lose his best friend this way.Surfacing for air quicker this time he took a moment to drag more into his burning lungs and wipe the water from his eyes. He could hear yelling from the deck, crying from Leila and other voices but he was fully zoned-in on the surface of the water looking for any signs of him.“He’s here, Mr. Carre
The Carrero Effect 268
The Carrero Effect~ The Holiday: Part 1 ~Jake strolled into his apartment and threw his bag down on the couch. It had been a long trip and an even longer week, but he suddenly felt restless at being back. Normally, getting home brought him all kinds of joy, but this time it felt slightly empty, and he actually wished they’d stayed at that damn dance just so he could still be with her right now. Pacing to the window and looking out across the New York skyline he ran his hand through his hair and cracked his neck in a bid to release some of the tension building up his spine. Flexing his arms over his head and straining the jacket holding him tight. He needed to get out of this monkey suit they called a tux and get comfy, maybe he just needed to feel less business-like and properly relax. Maybe he needed a drink.He needed to stop fixating on Emma; it wasn’t healthy, and the constant stream of thoughts he had about her was getting harder to control. S
The Carrero Effect 267 - Bonus Chapters
The Carrero Effect~ The First Meeting ~Jacob Carrero stood in his room in front of the large mirror over the vanity and warmed hair wax between his fingers, smirking at the familiar black and gold branded product on the wooden surface. His father was still lording over the decision to start a male grooming line with Jake’s face all over the advertising campaign; not that he cared. He was used to being publicly owned, always on show, and every woman’s idea of a fantasy male.Which guy wouldn’t? Women falling at your feet every day. Hell yeah.He rubbed it through his hair expertly and spiked it up toward the center and forward in its trademark style. He was never really one for much fussing over his hair, this kept it sorted and then he never had to care for the rest of the day or mess with it unless he ran his hands through and mussed it up. If he had his way, he would shave it all off, but he had done that in his teens and he
The Carrero Effect 266
I catch sight of some of my favorite women on the right-hand side of the aisle. Margo is wiping a tear from her eye and nudging Wilma in her side as both woman wave to me. They’re blowing their noses and crying as Donna throws tissues their way. My crazy trio of motherly hens. Donna’s mascara is pouring down her normally flawless face and I spot Rosalie wave from behind a very handsome man, grinning wildly and looping arms with him, a look of radiant happiness on her pretty face. I beam back at them with a tiny wave before moving on in time to the music, slow steps, with Giovanni leading the way.I catch sight of the Huntsbergers, my new extended family sitting close by and smile warmly at them. The row of adopted children and Huntsberger father looking so proud of his family. Ben and his baby son are near the end of the row. He’s is cuddling him proudly and looking every bit the doting dad. He is now the soul parent o
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“My son was in pain and hiding from what he wanted most,” he says so factually, looking down at me, “I put you back in his path, so he would stop being a coward.” Giovanni grins and all words leave my brain in an open-mouthed silent gawp; realization dawning on me so suddenly that I am literally rendered speechless.He sent me back to Carrero House? Making me believe that he was going to fire me if I didn’t … an ultimatum that led us to where we are now.Giovanni is admitting to maneuvering me back into Jake’s building, so we would end up back in each other’s arms, crafty jerk that he is. He giggles like a schoolboy at my obviously shocked expression and pats my hand tenderly over his inner elbow. That self-confident effortless look on a man who always sees all and knows everything.“No need to thank me, Emma.” He
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I smooth my hands down my ivory wedding dress. It’s classy elegance and understated top is lined with a simple sleeveless fitted bodice and tiny pearl detailing. It has a full wispy floating skirt, and layers and layers of chiffon puffing out to a full-length cloud of loveliness. It’s a fairy-tale princess dress and matches beautifully with the elegant engagement ring twinkling on my hand, sparkling in all its shining glory.I admire my flawless natural make-up in the mirror, touching up my nude lipstick. My tawny hair is wild and curled in its loose romantic style, tiny tendrils hang around my face and I appraise my reflection with pride.I look beautiful! I feel beautiful and serene. There is no fear whatsoever.I look like a woman hopelessly in love, about to marry the man of her dreams.I am that woman.I slide on my satin ivory stilettos that almost mirror the shoes I used to adore so much. It feels weird to be ba
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I am getting so frustrated at myself, my inner anger rears up. I’m surrounded by the song that gave me two of the happiest moments of my life, when he gave me his all, and yet here I am lying here, my sub-conscious holding me back from what I deserve. It’s like the beginning of our relationship all over again. I’m back to the defiant, closed-off Emma who never let him in, always holding back when he needed me most.No! I am not doing this to you, Jake. Not anymore, I won’t!The song is a reminder that he doesn’t always need to be my strength, but a prompt to show me that sometimes I need to be his too. I need to build my own force to find my way back. I need to hold him up and face whatever reality comes when my body wakes up. Maybe that’s why my mind doesn’t want me to wake up. It’s afraid that what Ray did to me will make me hide in the shadows again, that I won’t be able to love Jake and le
