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2024-10-29 19:42:56I catch the way he’s looking at me and I get it. He thought he knew love until he found it with the right person and my stomach somersault, a little jump of happiness, probably mildly inappropriate right now.
“I know, but I should’ve seen her what she was, the way she always twisted things, so she was the victim. For years, she had me hating you, believing that you broke her heart and she could never trust me because of it. Too stupid to realize it was all her and you were just as much a part of the fall out as I was.” He looks genuinely sorry. There’s something decent coming through about Ben, despite what I know of him and the past, underneath all that anger and rivalry is a guy that once meant a lot to Jake.
“And now? … Your obviously still in love her if you wanted to try again?” Jake watches Ben intensely and Ben shrugs.
“I was … Maybe I still am. I don’t know. I never could understand why
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The Carrero Effect 247
Getting into her apartment is easy enough; all Jake needs to do is bark two words into the intercom.“I’m here,” and she lets us in without any hesitation.Whore.She has the shock of her life when she answers the door, in nothing more than lace bra and panties under a see-through robe and is faced with two angry men and a seething little blonde girlfriend. All I can do is balk and take in her slutty attire, she truly believed he was coming to fuck her.What planet is she from?Marissa visibly steps back mouth gaping, before recovering her equilibrium, making no attempt at covering herself. She glances swiftly at Ben, noticing him seems to knock the wind out of her sails and she pulls her robe across her protruding bump.“What the fuck is this?!” She snap
The Carrero Effect 248
“I never did I?” Jake sounds shocked. My head snaps up to him wondering what he sees close-up in that cocky whore’s face that I can’t. She hesitates and looks back at him, like she’s been caught, and she loses the mask for a millisecond. It quickly draws back up, but I think even Ben caught it, a tiny flicker of shit he knows.“Yes, you did,” she snaps a little too quickly. The flicker turns into a full-on twitch as she has trouble keeping her face under control.“No, I didn’t. I can tell when you’re lying to my face … I never had sex with you, did I?” Jake’s tone has completely dispersed, instead of rage he sounds shocked, something in his brain whirring and clicking. Figuring it all out, trying to work through the drunken haze of a night he still can’t remember.“Marissa? Surely even you couldn’t scrape as low as that?” Ben snorts in absolute disgust
The Carrero Effect 249
“I can’t get my head around it.” Jake utters for the hundredth time as we lie in bed, our bodies entwined. My exhaustion has dissipated, giving way to mind-numbing silence after the events of the evening.We finally have freedom … from her.We’ve been home for a few hours and yet mostly all we’ve done is lie together and talk. Hours spent regurgitating the fact that there is no other baby, wondering how his family are going to react and how different things will be from now on without it hanging over us. It’s still too surreal to really believe and emotions between us have been swirling like crazy.“I can’t believe it’s over,” I exclaim out loud, hearing him sigh again. A happy heavy relief kind of noise.“Me either, it feels like it’s been consuming me … us
The Carrero Effect 250
Nora is staying here aa housemaid since Jake’s going to be here at least once a week and Mathews is training the new security to be positioned here since we’ll be taking him to the new house; their choice of course, always so loyal to Jake.Jefferson will be keeping on driving Jake around when he’s here and Mathews will be spending time chauffeuring and protecting me in the Hamptons, as well as training the new security staff at the house. Jake has kept on the previous owner’s house staff and once we’re moved in, they’re all coming back to work as they did before. Jake has this all effortlessly organized and everything smoothly in place.I admit the thought of cooks and cleaners and chauffeurs is no longer something I balk at; a life looking after my child without the stress that most mothers endure sounds like heaven to me. I know how lucky I am not to have to worry about mundane house tasks or troubles with money. I am finally acce
The Carrero Effect 251
Gazing up at the crappy brown building that houses “The Haven” homeless shelter, an internal wave of anxiety builds up inside of me, like an all-consuming black hole, now that I’m faced with old memories. Jake is standing behind me with hands on my shoulders, a kiss on my neck brings me back to the present.“Call me and I’ll come, okay?” His voice is a reminder that I can do this, I can be strong enough because of him.“I know. Now leave, before I change my mind about going to the hotel first.” I giggle as his hand skims my ass; he’s a tempting distraction to what I know I need to do.“If I’d known you were this torn about it, I would’ve applied a little more pressure.” He smirks wickedly, letting his hand trail lower under my dress. I laugh and shove him off playfully with my butt, which only serves to c
The Carrero Effect 252
“No, actually I’m currently looking toward a new career. One more fulfilling in which I can help children who have been abused; like I was.” I lift my chin proudly, meeting her eye ready to take on her response in a non-emotional way. I am at peace with how I am going to handle this.Her eyes glaze over, and her eyebrow rises as she sighs, acting as though ‘little girl Emma’ is at it again, being over-dramatic, making herself out to be the poor defenseless, innocent child.She is no mother of mine. I can see it now. I’ll never call her my mom again; she’s never been deserving of the title. In the short time Sylvana has known me she’s been more of a mom to me than Jocelyn ever was.She’s pondering over how to respond, no doubt bringing memories of our last meeting fresh to her mind, afraid that raging and violent Emma may strop out again. That tiny trigger of annoyance builds higher at her silent pause.
The Carrero Effect 253
I push the door open with one hand and pull out my phone with a heavy sigh, slowly inhaling as I inhale fresh air.I’m okay, I really am okay.I text Jake, asking him where he is, letting him know I’ll come to him. I need the air and the walk. I need the time to myself to let all that happened in that room sink in. I want to walk to him smiling, to show him that I’m so much stronger than I ever have been before.She never fought for me, she never told me she loved me, but then she never did.I’m not the one who is broken or unlovable, she is. Yes, I am scarred, but I’m healing, and I’ve finally found my way into arms I know will always be waiting for me.Jake is watching me over a mug of coffee in the small café. My tears have finally stopped. I’m not heartbroken, just resigned and letting go of all that pent-up emotion; part of me is relieved. There really are no other words for it. His eye
The Carrero Effect 254
“I haven’t given you anything but me, and you've given me all of this.” I wave my arms around at the five-star hotel room, the ring on my finger and then run a hand down my stomach, finding his hand there and I entangle our fingers. “You gave me the fairy tale, the perfect sexy man, the crazy opulent lifestyle and the happy ever after, Jake, all I gave you was some scared girl so afraid to love.” Tears fill my eyes.“That is the most amazing gift you can give anyone. Having you is more than all this combined. You saved me from myself, from an empty life of parties, fame, women, and booze and driving myself into the ground with work. You gave my life meaning and feeling. You gave me a purpose and completion, Emma. I know it took a while for me to stop and realize that I had it all, but we’re here now and I promise that this is only the beginning, this will only get better. We have so much more to look forward to and this baby will chan
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The Carrero Effect 271
The Carrero Influence ~ The Dance ~ Jake shifted in his seat for the millionth time and tried once more to get his brain to focus on the laptop on the highly polished walnut surface. He just couldn’t keep himself on track lately. The sound of a female clearing her throat startled him to look up and the impatient stance of Margo waving a piece of paper with a raised eyebrow suggested she had been talking to him while he was zoned out. “Sorry. What?” He frowned and sighed heavily, pushing himself back into his molded leather chair and rolled up his shirt sleeves in agitation. “For God’s sake, Jacob. I’ve been here for three minutes talking at you. You need to just bloody well call her.” Margo’s stern tone did nothing to help his current mood, and he just shifted forward again to try to ignore that intent, chastising glare. He went to his laptop, ducking his head in an attempt to dodge her blue eyes and typed something aimlessly. “Don’t k
The Carrero Effect 270
The Carrero Influence~ The Elevator Scene ~Jake walked out of the boardroom meeting without any clue as to what he had just sat and endured for the last hour. Margo had been glaring his way and nudging him with her foot under the table every few minutes and making him all the more aware of how ‘out of it’ he was. He had been this way ever since his father’s email had come in, informing him that Emma was back in his building; Back within reach and he had no idea how to handle it. He didn’t know if he should be happy or panicked that he could just see her around his building again, he wasn’t sure how the hell to feel about it but couldn’t deny the slight feeling of hope in his chest that he could bump into her.If he was being honest, he hadn’t had his head in the game for weeks, not since he had sent her away and today was just another prime example of how ‘not well’ he was doing without her in his life.
The Carrero Effect 269
The Carrero Effect~ The Holiday: Part 2 ~Jake was searching under the water, too dark to see anything and scrambling with his hands at anything that felt like it could be Daniel. Panic gripping his stomach as he frantically surfaced for air and dove again. He had hit the water without a thought the second he knew Danny was in here. No cares that he was maybe too drunk for this and just endlessly searching despite his muscles aching and being so heavy he could barely move anymore. It felt like it had been hours instead of minutes and he still hadn’t found him. He wouldn’t give up on him, he wouldn’t lose his best friend this way.Surfacing for air quicker this time he took a moment to drag more into his burning lungs and wipe the water from his eyes. He could hear yelling from the deck, crying from Leila and other voices but he was fully zoned-in on the surface of the water looking for any signs of him.“He’s here, Mr. Carre
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The Carrero Effect~ The Holiday: Part 1 ~Jake strolled into his apartment and threw his bag down on the couch. It had been a long trip and an even longer week, but he suddenly felt restless at being back. Normally, getting home brought him all kinds of joy, but this time it felt slightly empty, and he actually wished they’d stayed at that damn dance just so he could still be with her right now. Pacing to the window and looking out across the New York skyline he ran his hand through his hair and cracked his neck in a bid to release some of the tension building up his spine. Flexing his arms over his head and straining the jacket holding him tight. He needed to get out of this monkey suit they called a tux and get comfy, maybe he just needed to feel less business-like and properly relax. Maybe he needed a drink.He needed to stop fixating on Emma; it wasn’t healthy, and the constant stream of thoughts he had about her was getting harder to control. S
The Carrero Effect 267 - Bonus Chapters
The Carrero Effect~ The First Meeting ~Jacob Carrero stood in his room in front of the large mirror over the vanity and warmed hair wax between his fingers, smirking at the familiar black and gold branded product on the wooden surface. His father was still lording over the decision to start a male grooming line with Jake’s face all over the advertising campaign; not that he cared. He was used to being publicly owned, always on show, and every woman’s idea of a fantasy male.Which guy wouldn’t? Women falling at your feet every day. Hell yeah.He rubbed it through his hair expertly and spiked it up toward the center and forward in its trademark style. He was never really one for much fussing over his hair, this kept it sorted and then he never had to care for the rest of the day or mess with it unless he ran his hands through and mussed it up. If he had his way, he would shave it all off, but he had done that in his teens and he
The Carrero Effect 266
I catch sight of some of my favorite women on the right-hand side of the aisle. Margo is wiping a tear from her eye and nudging Wilma in her side as both woman wave to me. They’re blowing their noses and crying as Donna throws tissues their way. My crazy trio of motherly hens. Donna’s mascara is pouring down her normally flawless face and I spot Rosalie wave from behind a very handsome man, grinning wildly and looping arms with him, a look of radiant happiness on her pretty face. I beam back at them with a tiny wave before moving on in time to the music, slow steps, with Giovanni leading the way.I catch sight of the Huntsbergers, my new extended family sitting close by and smile warmly at them. The row of adopted children and Huntsberger father looking so proud of his family. Ben and his baby son are near the end of the row. He’s is cuddling him proudly and looking every bit the doting dad. He is now the soul parent o
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“My son was in pain and hiding from what he wanted most,” he says so factually, looking down at me, “I put you back in his path, so he would stop being a coward.” Giovanni grins and all words leave my brain in an open-mouthed silent gawp; realization dawning on me so suddenly that I am literally rendered speechless.He sent me back to Carrero House? Making me believe that he was going to fire me if I didn’t … an ultimatum that led us to where we are now.Giovanni is admitting to maneuvering me back into Jake’s building, so we would end up back in each other’s arms, crafty jerk that he is. He giggles like a schoolboy at my obviously shocked expression and pats my hand tenderly over his inner elbow. That self-confident effortless look on a man who always sees all and knows everything.“No need to thank me, Emma.” He
The Carrero Effect 264
I smooth my hands down my ivory wedding dress. It’s classy elegance and understated top is lined with a simple sleeveless fitted bodice and tiny pearl detailing. It has a full wispy floating skirt, and layers and layers of chiffon puffing out to a full-length cloud of loveliness. It’s a fairy-tale princess dress and matches beautifully with the elegant engagement ring twinkling on my hand, sparkling in all its shining glory.I admire my flawless natural make-up in the mirror, touching up my nude lipstick. My tawny hair is wild and curled in its loose romantic style, tiny tendrils hang around my face and I appraise my reflection with pride.I look beautiful! I feel beautiful and serene. There is no fear whatsoever.I look like a woman hopelessly in love, about to marry the man of her dreams.I am that woman.I slide on my satin ivory stilettos that almost mirror the shoes I used to adore so much. It feels weird to be ba
The Carrero Effect 263
I am getting so frustrated at myself, my inner anger rears up. I’m surrounded by the song that gave me two of the happiest moments of my life, when he gave me his all, and yet here I am lying here, my sub-conscious holding me back from what I deserve. It’s like the beginning of our relationship all over again. I’m back to the defiant, closed-off Emma who never let him in, always holding back when he needed me most.No! I am not doing this to you, Jake. Not anymore, I won’t!The song is a reminder that he doesn’t always need to be my strength, but a prompt to show me that sometimes I need to be his too. I need to build my own force to find my way back. I need to hold him up and face whatever reality comes when my body wakes up. Maybe that’s why my mind doesn’t want me to wake up. It’s afraid that what Ray did to me will make me hide in the shadows again, that I won’t be able to love Jake and le
