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2024-10-29 19:42:56“I had wanted nothing else for so long.” I choke back tears. “I was so scared I would just be another conquest … A good time … That I’d lose you, my job, our friendship … I was terrified.” Tears blur my eyes and I choke on the lump forming in my throat. He leans up, brushing hair away from my face, tracing my mouth with his fingers carefully.
“I wish I’d told you so many times how I really felt, I wish I had just come out and said I love you, Emma. I’m in love with you.” His voice strained with emotion and my heart swells painfully. “If I had, we could have avoided so much heartache. So much craziness between us.” His gaze holds so much regret I can’t bear it.
Jake really loves me. As much as I love him.
Every time this realization hits me it takes my breath away and I want
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The Carrero Effect 115
He buckles me into the passenger seat of his car, leaning in to kiss me tenderly once more, his green eyes alive and twinkling. Jake can’t seem to stop kissing me and it’s not like I can complain, after a year of being crazy for him, I don’t want him to stop. I’ve not seen him this happy and carefree for a long time, since before the first time he ever kissed me.Had I really been torturing him all that time?My heart lurches at the thought as he closes my door and comes around to slide into his sleek powerful car in an effortlessly graceful maneuver.“Your place for a change of clothing, I guess.” He runs his fingers down the thigh of my satin dress, his pupils dilating. “I forgot to tell you how amazing you look in this by the way. I practically passed out when I saw you.”“You’re so easy.” I giggle watching his lips part as he raises his eyebrow and winks at me“Can
The Carrero Effect 116
I’m putty in his hands. He’s showing me that with a kiss he owns me and it’s working. I’ve melted to a gooey puddle in his lap where he could literally strip me naked right now on the sidewalk and I wouldn’t argue. He’s uncovered my weakness for him in one night and he fully intends to utilize it. Jake has always had skills in manipulation, so this doesn’t surprise me in the slightest. He pulls his mouth from mine, keeping his hand around my jaw, holding us nose to nose“We’re going away for some time alone … We need it … I need this.” His voice is thick and husky, and he kisses me again before I can answer, pulling me back down into erotica, his tongue caressing mine until I feel like the longing will make me self-implode. His hand moves up under my dress finding what he’s searching for, pulling my underwear aside and connects. I arch on his lap, gasping in pleasure, his mouth still on mine as I
The Carrero Effect 117
I start packing up my case, my phone on charge in its dock by my bed as I take my time and breathing space from Jake so I can think. He’s like a tornado that devours everything in its wake when he’s with you and sometimes I just need some time to process things more slowly.I’m wearing jeans and a T-shirt, which skim my figure, Converse on my feet and a denim jacket. This is probably the most casual he’s ever seen me other than my gym attire, but for some reason, I like being this way around him. So far removed from the Emma he met a year ago who didn’t even own jeans at all, so he has to see how much he’s changed me. I want him to see how different I want to be with him.My hair alone is a huge deal, changed from long, sleek, and always tied back immaculately, to short and wild waves hanging just under my jaw, blonde highlighted which makes me seem young and carefree. I catch sight of myself in the mirror, free of make-up. He’
The Carrero Effect 118
“She gave me some good advice while you took about three hours to get ready…. I didn’t want a reaction, miele, I was grateful. I’ll never make you jealous either. I’m sorry, baby.” He kisses me, breaking away to rub his nose against mine, a little show of affection that I’m getting fond of. “I don’t have any interest in getting reactions from other women … Only you.”I smile up at him shyly; he always knows just what to say to me and that inner anxiety fades away, replaced with a sudden desire to curl around him and squeeze tightly.“What advice did she give you?” I question softly, my arms finding his waist even though we’re still standing at the top of the stair in my apartment building. His mouth staying close to mine.“To remember how easy it is for you to hide behind that wall when you’re scared … To never let it stand between us again.” H
The Carrero Effect 119
He pulls me tighter; his mouth coming to my temple and presses softly. Exhaling warm air across my skin soothingly.I’m beyond not fine. I’m devastated. She’s the thorn in my happily ever after that just ruins everything.“This is the last thing I ever wanted. I want you and I want to just have us and a clear future … This shit with Marissa complicates things but all I can do is try to do the right thing at the same time as trying to make you feel better about it.” His nose brushes the side of my face as he places a gentle kiss on my temple again, over my hair. I relax slightly, as always, his touch soothing me even when my hearts shredding.“I hate it,” I utter softly, finally. “I hate her.” The tears fill my eyes bitterly and he turns my face to him by holding my chin, coming close enough to inhale me.“You’ll never have anything to be worried about when it comes to her &h
The Carrero Effect 120
As for sleeping in peace, I learned a long time ago that sleeping anywhere near him put an end to my night terrors. I don’t wake with dark shadows looming over me when he’s close by, protecting me, even in my dreams.“Are we in the Caribbean already?” I rub my eyes and sit up in the seat to look out the window, despite the air conditioning blowing on full, I can tell we’re in warmer climates, there’s a stuffiness in the car.“It’s only a four-hour flight, the yacht’s already docked here; my father likes to come out here a lot, so the boat has permanent moorings.” He hauls me back to him, pulling me into an embrace. “I missed you while you were sleeping.” He grins before sinking a kiss on me that fully wakens me up.Will this burning desire he ignites ever calm down, I feel like I may self-implode every time his lips meet mine.Moving against him fully, absorbing myself into t
The Carrero Effect 121
It’s late afternoon, I’m pacing on the upper deck in a mix of agitation, upset, and anger. A turmoil of emotions and I want to scream.“I’m not talking to you!” I pout childishly, rage beginning to grow inside of me at his confession. Turning away from him on the main deck of the boat, I pull my sarong tightly around my waist and tie it off with an angry tug.“Bambino, please.” He tries to catch my arm, but I storm away. He stifles a laugh and comes at me again. “You’re really mad at me?” He sounds like he’s in disbelief that I could actually be angry over this.I forgot how obtuse he can be.He catches my face in his hands, trying to bring me to him and croons at me softly, his baby voice coming on strong. It only makes me so much madder and I shove his hands off and glare fully at him.“Baby? …… bambino? … Don’t be l
The Carrero Effect 123
I turn in his arms and hug him fully, savoring his naked skin on my bikini clad body, hot and smooth and strong. Sending tingles and aches through me so easily while taking my mind far from the topic that’s hurting me, my insides responding on some primal level.“Make me laugh. Distract me,” I whisper against him, indicating that I don’t want to talk about this anymore, I don’t want to think of that creep any longer. Burying my face against his chest.For the last few days, it’s all he’s done, even over stupid, tiny disagreements, he somehow manages to take it all away and get me to smile and laugh. I want that more than ever right now, to remove this heavy knot in my stomach at realizing my father was the scum I always believed him to be. The disappointment I always knew he was.He moves me out of his arms so I’m standing in front of him, bends down and picks me up over his shoulder in one swift movement, making m
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The Carrero Effect 271
The Carrero Influence ~ The Dance ~ Jake shifted in his seat for the millionth time and tried once more to get his brain to focus on the laptop on the highly polished walnut surface. He just couldn’t keep himself on track lately. The sound of a female clearing her throat startled him to look up and the impatient stance of Margo waving a piece of paper with a raised eyebrow suggested she had been talking to him while he was zoned out. “Sorry. What?” He frowned and sighed heavily, pushing himself back into his molded leather chair and rolled up his shirt sleeves in agitation. “For God’s sake, Jacob. I’ve been here for three minutes talking at you. You need to just bloody well call her.” Margo’s stern tone did nothing to help his current mood, and he just shifted forward again to try to ignore that intent, chastising glare. He went to his laptop, ducking his head in an attempt to dodge her blue eyes and typed something aimlessly. “Don’t k
The Carrero Effect 270
The Carrero Influence~ The Elevator Scene ~Jake walked out of the boardroom meeting without any clue as to what he had just sat and endured for the last hour. Margo had been glaring his way and nudging him with her foot under the table every few minutes and making him all the more aware of how ‘out of it’ he was. He had been this way ever since his father’s email had come in, informing him that Emma was back in his building; Back within reach and he had no idea how to handle it. He didn’t know if he should be happy or panicked that he could just see her around his building again, he wasn’t sure how the hell to feel about it but couldn’t deny the slight feeling of hope in his chest that he could bump into her.If he was being honest, he hadn’t had his head in the game for weeks, not since he had sent her away and today was just another prime example of how ‘not well’ he was doing without her in his life.
The Carrero Effect 269
The Carrero Effect~ The Holiday: Part 2 ~Jake was searching under the water, too dark to see anything and scrambling with his hands at anything that felt like it could be Daniel. Panic gripping his stomach as he frantically surfaced for air and dove again. He had hit the water without a thought the second he knew Danny was in here. No cares that he was maybe too drunk for this and just endlessly searching despite his muscles aching and being so heavy he could barely move anymore. It felt like it had been hours instead of minutes and he still hadn’t found him. He wouldn’t give up on him, he wouldn’t lose his best friend this way.Surfacing for air quicker this time he took a moment to drag more into his burning lungs and wipe the water from his eyes. He could hear yelling from the deck, crying from Leila and other voices but he was fully zoned-in on the surface of the water looking for any signs of him.“He’s here, Mr. Carre
The Carrero Effect 268
The Carrero Effect~ The Holiday: Part 1 ~Jake strolled into his apartment and threw his bag down on the couch. It had been a long trip and an even longer week, but he suddenly felt restless at being back. Normally, getting home brought him all kinds of joy, but this time it felt slightly empty, and he actually wished they’d stayed at that damn dance just so he could still be with her right now. Pacing to the window and looking out across the New York skyline he ran his hand through his hair and cracked his neck in a bid to release some of the tension building up his spine. Flexing his arms over his head and straining the jacket holding him tight. He needed to get out of this monkey suit they called a tux and get comfy, maybe he just needed to feel less business-like and properly relax. Maybe he needed a drink.He needed to stop fixating on Emma; it wasn’t healthy, and the constant stream of thoughts he had about her was getting harder to control. S
The Carrero Effect 267 - Bonus Chapters
The Carrero Effect~ The First Meeting ~Jacob Carrero stood in his room in front of the large mirror over the vanity and warmed hair wax between his fingers, smirking at the familiar black and gold branded product on the wooden surface. His father was still lording over the decision to start a male grooming line with Jake’s face all over the advertising campaign; not that he cared. He was used to being publicly owned, always on show, and every woman’s idea of a fantasy male.Which guy wouldn’t? Women falling at your feet every day. Hell yeah.He rubbed it through his hair expertly and spiked it up toward the center and forward in its trademark style. He was never really one for much fussing over his hair, this kept it sorted and then he never had to care for the rest of the day or mess with it unless he ran his hands through and mussed it up. If he had his way, he would shave it all off, but he had done that in his teens and he
The Carrero Effect 266
I catch sight of some of my favorite women on the right-hand side of the aisle. Margo is wiping a tear from her eye and nudging Wilma in her side as both woman wave to me. They’re blowing their noses and crying as Donna throws tissues their way. My crazy trio of motherly hens. Donna’s mascara is pouring down her normally flawless face and I spot Rosalie wave from behind a very handsome man, grinning wildly and looping arms with him, a look of radiant happiness on her pretty face. I beam back at them with a tiny wave before moving on in time to the music, slow steps, with Giovanni leading the way.I catch sight of the Huntsbergers, my new extended family sitting close by and smile warmly at them. The row of adopted children and Huntsberger father looking so proud of his family. Ben and his baby son are near the end of the row. He’s is cuddling him proudly and looking every bit the doting dad. He is now the soul parent o
The Carrero Effect 265
“My son was in pain and hiding from what he wanted most,” he says so factually, looking down at me, “I put you back in his path, so he would stop being a coward.” Giovanni grins and all words leave my brain in an open-mouthed silent gawp; realization dawning on me so suddenly that I am literally rendered speechless.He sent me back to Carrero House? Making me believe that he was going to fire me if I didn’t … an ultimatum that led us to where we are now.Giovanni is admitting to maneuvering me back into Jake’s building, so we would end up back in each other’s arms, crafty jerk that he is. He giggles like a schoolboy at my obviously shocked expression and pats my hand tenderly over his inner elbow. That self-confident effortless look on a man who always sees all and knows everything.“No need to thank me, Emma.” He
The Carrero Effect 264
I smooth my hands down my ivory wedding dress. It’s classy elegance and understated top is lined with a simple sleeveless fitted bodice and tiny pearl detailing. It has a full wispy floating skirt, and layers and layers of chiffon puffing out to a full-length cloud of loveliness. It’s a fairy-tale princess dress and matches beautifully with the elegant engagement ring twinkling on my hand, sparkling in all its shining glory.I admire my flawless natural make-up in the mirror, touching up my nude lipstick. My tawny hair is wild and curled in its loose romantic style, tiny tendrils hang around my face and I appraise my reflection with pride.I look beautiful! I feel beautiful and serene. There is no fear whatsoever.I look like a woman hopelessly in love, about to marry the man of her dreams.I am that woman.I slide on my satin ivory stilettos that almost mirror the shoes I used to adore so much. It feels weird to be ba
The Carrero Effect 263
I am getting so frustrated at myself, my inner anger rears up. I’m surrounded by the song that gave me two of the happiest moments of my life, when he gave me his all, and yet here I am lying here, my sub-conscious holding me back from what I deserve. It’s like the beginning of our relationship all over again. I’m back to the defiant, closed-off Emma who never let him in, always holding back when he needed me most.No! I am not doing this to you, Jake. Not anymore, I won’t!The song is a reminder that he doesn’t always need to be my strength, but a prompt to show me that sometimes I need to be his too. I need to build my own force to find my way back. I need to hold him up and face whatever reality comes when my body wakes up. Maybe that’s why my mind doesn’t want me to wake up. It’s afraid that what Ray did to me will make me hide in the shadows again, that I won’t be able to love Jake and le
