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“I had wanted nothing else for so long.” I choke back tears. “I was so scared I would just be another conquest … A good time … That I’d lose you, my job, our friendship … I was terrified.” Tears blur my eyes and I choke on the lump forming in my throat. He leans up, brushing hair away from my face, tracing my mouth with his fingers carefully.
“I wish I’d told you so many times how I really felt, I wish I had just come out and said I love you, Emma. I’m in love with you.” His voice strained with emotion and my heart swells painfully. “If I had, we could have avoided so much heartache. So much craziness between us.” His gaze holds so much regret I can’t bear it.
Jake really loves me. As much as I love him.
Every time this realization hits me it takes my breath away and I want
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The Carrero Effect 115
He buckles me into the passenger seat of his car, leaning in to kiss me tenderly once more, his green eyes alive and twinkling. Jake can’t seem to stop kissing me and it’s not like I can complain, after a year of being crazy for him, I don’t want him to stop. I’ve not seen him this happy and carefree for a long time, since before the first time he ever kissed me.Had I really been torturing him all that time?My heart lurches at the thought as he closes my door and comes around to slide into his sleek powerful car in an effortlessly graceful maneuver.“Your place for a change of clothing, I guess.” He runs his fingers down the thigh of my satin dress, his pupils dilating. “I forgot to tell you how amazing you look in this by the way. I practically passed out when I saw you.”“You’re so easy.” I giggle watching his lips part as he raises his eyebrow and winks at me“Can
The Carrero Effect 116
I’m putty in his hands. He’s showing me that with a kiss he owns me and it’s working. I’ve melted to a gooey puddle in his lap where he could literally strip me naked right now on the sidewalk and I wouldn’t argue. He’s uncovered my weakness for him in one night and he fully intends to utilize it. Jake has always had skills in manipulation, so this doesn’t surprise me in the slightest. He pulls his mouth from mine, keeping his hand around my jaw, holding us nose to nose“We’re going away for some time alone … We need it … I need this.” His voice is thick and husky, and he kisses me again before I can answer, pulling me back down into erotica, his tongue caressing mine until I feel like the longing will make me self-implode. His hand moves up under my dress finding what he’s searching for, pulling my underwear aside and connects. I arch on his lap, gasping in pleasure, his mouth still on mine as I
The Carrero Effect 117
I start packing up my case, my phone on charge in its dock by my bed as I take my time and breathing space from Jake so I can think. He’s like a tornado that devours everything in its wake when he’s with you and sometimes I just need some time to process things more slowly.I’m wearing jeans and a T-shirt, which skim my figure, Converse on my feet and a denim jacket. This is probably the most casual he’s ever seen me other than my gym attire, but for some reason, I like being this way around him. So far removed from the Emma he met a year ago who didn’t even own jeans at all, so he has to see how much he’s changed me. I want him to see how different I want to be with him.My hair alone is a huge deal, changed from long, sleek, and always tied back immaculately, to short and wild waves hanging just under my jaw, blonde highlighted which makes me seem young and carefree. I catch sight of myself in the mirror, free of make-up. He’
The Carrero Effect 118
“She gave me some good advice while you took about three hours to get ready…. I didn’t want a reaction, miele, I was grateful. I’ll never make you jealous either. I’m sorry, baby.” He kisses me, breaking away to rub his nose against mine, a little show of affection that I’m getting fond of. “I don’t have any interest in getting reactions from other women … Only you.”I smile up at him shyly; he always knows just what to say to me and that inner anxiety fades away, replaced with a sudden desire to curl around him and squeeze tightly.“What advice did she give you?” I question softly, my arms finding his waist even though we’re still standing at the top of the stair in my apartment building. His mouth staying close to mine.“To remember how easy it is for you to hide behind that wall when you’re scared … To never let it stand between us again.” H
The Carrero Effect 119
He pulls me tighter; his mouth coming to my temple and presses softly. Exhaling warm air across my skin soothingly.I’m beyond not fine. I’m devastated. She’s the thorn in my happily ever after that just ruins everything.“This is the last thing I ever wanted. I want you and I want to just have us and a clear future … This shit with Marissa complicates things but all I can do is try to do the right thing at the same time as trying to make you feel better about it.” His nose brushes the side of my face as he places a gentle kiss on my temple again, over my hair. I relax slightly, as always, his touch soothing me even when my hearts shredding.“I hate it,” I utter softly, finally. “I hate her.” The tears fill my eyes bitterly and he turns my face to him by holding my chin, coming close enough to inhale me.“You’ll never have anything to be worried about when it comes to her &h
The Carrero Effect 120
As for sleeping in peace, I learned a long time ago that sleeping anywhere near him put an end to my night terrors. I don’t wake with dark shadows looming over me when he’s close by, protecting me, even in my dreams.“Are we in the Caribbean already?” I rub my eyes and sit up in the seat to look out the window, despite the air conditioning blowing on full, I can tell we’re in warmer climates, there’s a stuffiness in the car.“It’s only a four-hour flight, the yacht’s already docked here; my father likes to come out here a lot, so the boat has permanent moorings.” He hauls me back to him, pulling me into an embrace. “I missed you while you were sleeping.” He grins before sinking a kiss on me that fully wakens me up.Will this burning desire he ignites ever calm down, I feel like I may self-implode every time his lips meet mine.Moving against him fully, absorbing myself into t
The Carrero Effect 121
It’s late afternoon, I’m pacing on the upper deck in a mix of agitation, upset, and anger. A turmoil of emotions and I want to scream.“I’m not talking to you!” I pout childishly, rage beginning to grow inside of me at his confession. Turning away from him on the main deck of the boat, I pull my sarong tightly around my waist and tie it off with an angry tug.“Bambino, please.” He tries to catch my arm, but I storm away. He stifles a laugh and comes at me again. “You’re really mad at me?” He sounds like he’s in disbelief that I could actually be angry over this.I forgot how obtuse he can be.He catches my face in his hands, trying to bring me to him and croons at me softly, his baby voice coming on strong. It only makes me so much madder and I shove his hands off and glare fully at him.“Baby? …… bambino? … Don’t be l
The Carrero Effect 123
I turn in his arms and hug him fully, savoring his naked skin on my bikini clad body, hot and smooth and strong. Sending tingles and aches through me so easily while taking my mind far from the topic that’s hurting me, my insides responding on some primal level.“Make me laugh. Distract me,” I whisper against him, indicating that I don’t want to talk about this anymore, I don’t want to think of that creep any longer. Burying my face against his chest.For the last few days, it’s all he’s done, even over stupid, tiny disagreements, he somehow manages to take it all away and get me to smile and laugh. I want that more than ever right now, to remove this heavy knot in my stomach at realizing my father was the scum I always believed him to be. The disappointment I always knew he was.He moves me out of his arms so I’m standing in front of him, bends down and picks me up over his shoulder in one swift movement, making m
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