Less than twenty minutes later, I’m in the back of a large SUV with tinted windows and I’m sitting mere inches away from him. My briefcase on my lap and a pen in one hand. I’m preoccupied, mulling over the weirdness of this request.
“That habit is at odds with how you present yourself, you know?”I look up at his remark questioningly. The way he is regarding me, and half-smirking my way.What the hell is he talking about?I realize I have a strand of hair between my fingers, absent-mindedly twisting it. I drop it and still my hands on my lap, internally cursing him out.For god’s sake …It’s the being unprepared, it has me on edge.Nice move, Emma.I scowl at teen Emma, always peeking at me from the recesses of my mind and smile tightly in response.“Nervous habit?” he presses further, looking smugger.“I don’t get nervous, Mr. Carrero,” I respond drily.Because I’ve spent many years perfecting the art of hiding it and for some reason, you bring it out in me when I’m not focusing.“Do I make you nervous?” he smiles; he’s leaning back in his seat comfortably, an arm on the window ledge and looks effortlessly casual. Always annoyingly at ease.“I would not say that, Mr. Carrero.”What would I say?Because he does make me nervous, if I’m being honest. I don’t know how to act around him sometimes.“Do I intimidate you?” his tone is steady and quizzical, a hint of playful and it’s already tiring me.Are we really doing this?“I just don’t know you well enough to feel at ease around you yet,” I answer, impressed with my diplomatic response under the pressure of his gaze.“I don’t think any woman has ever told me I’m intimidating before.” His eyes twinkle mischievously, his focus on me intense.“I don’t believe I actually said that,” I say. Sighing.“You didn’t say no.”“If that’s how you perceived what I said.” I smile tightly, but he laughs that only further grates on me. He’s infuriating.“I’ve never met a woman who acts like you do around me!” he jests, pushing a foot against the door so he can lounge some more, and I throw him a cool yet questioning glance.What’s that supposed to mean? Because I don’t throw myself at you, begging to be mauled?“Women usually flirt … Make their intentions clear, or just quiz the crap out of me.” He shrugs, un-phased by the statement he made and oblivious to how much of an ass it makes him appear.“Women openly tell you they want to bed you, Mr. Carrero?” I ask pointedly. I already assumed this was the case, the fact he expects it is a little repulsive. The fact he expected it of me, makes me mad.“Something like that.” He grins at my honesty, watching me closely still, his body turned toward me slightly.“That must be nice.” I look out at the passing scenery, completely uncomfortable with the direction of this conversation, finding him highly inappropriate and praying to just get to Sunnyside quickly.Only one more block to my apartment and I can get a reprieve from this crap. Why did I have to live so far?“It gets old … I like being intimidating … That’s one I haven’t heard yet.” He laughs at me again and I try to ignore it, hating that his laugh is still nice to listen to, despite his flaws.I cast him a shady look.Must be so boring having women fall at your feet every day and tell you how gorgeous you are. Must be so hard to have been born with a silver spoon in your mouth, and no real problems in life, except how sexy your outfit is that day.“In what way?” he says in afterthought, turning his gaze back on me once more.“What way what?” I am tense. I hate feeling this way and watch my fingers carefully, making sure they stay steady on my lap. Willing him to leave me alone.“In what way do I intimidate you?” he’s finding this highly amusing, judging by the expression plastered over his smug face, and the tone in his voice which screams tease.“Is this necessary?” I bristle, tightly sitting upright and showing no hint of my inner feelings.“What? Wanting to get to know my PA a little better? … I think so.”Sure, if that’s what we call this … Ego fluffing.“Probing.” I say evenly.“I don’t think wanting to know why I make you so uncomfortable is probing … We’re going to spend the next few hours together; I think it’s necessary. It’s a novelty for me.” He looks smug without smiling. So talented.“I never said I was uncomfortable; you’ve summarized what I said and concluded what you’re now pursuing. I merely said I don’t know you well.” He’s exasperating me now and getting pissed at your boss is never a good career move. I try to keep my tone steady and unemotional, but I even hear the note of dry agitation in my own voice.“My apologies.” He laughs in that disarming way he has, and I sigh angrily. He knows how to get under my skin and seems to enjoy it.“Are you always this defensive?” he asks, still pushing.For the love of god …I need to muster all my strength to remain impassive.“Are you always so informal with staff?” I retort defensively. Gripping my jacket hem to try and keep my temper low and not show him how much he’s annoying me now.“Emma, my staff are people I respect … People whose skills benefit me. I don’t see a need to act like a stuffed shirt because I employ them. I’m not my father.” I hate the way he’s studying me; I can feel his eyes on the side of my face, and I continue to ignore it. Continue to act cold.“You’re not like him … I met him … You’re nothing like him.”In that he knows how to behave. He understands the boundaries between boss and employee.“Good. I don’t aim to be.” He shifts in his seat. “We don’t exactly see eye to eye on most things.”I give him a cool look and note he seems a little less relaxed at that word again. Maybe talking about his father makes him uptight. I can relate to that, not that I would call the sperm donor a father, the absent sperm donor of my childhood.“You’re not curious?” he glances at me quizzically, green eyes once again boring into the side of my face and making me uncomfortable.“Curious about what?”“Why I don’t get along with him? … Most women pry … They want the juicy details.” A hint of a smile in his voice, a gross generalization of my sex. I curb the urge to eye roll at him.“No. It’s not my business.” I answer tightly; I’m not most women and I wish he would shut up. It’s a relief when we pull up in front of my building and I glimpse my chance of escape for a few minutes.“This is me.” I point up at the block of attractive brown apartments rising above us; he regards me for a second then gestures I should go and I almost exhale with thanks.“I’ll wait here, go get changed … Something feminine and soft … Something you wouldn’t normally wear.” He gives me an odd look, hiding his amusement and I have the sudden urge to throat punch him.Something feminine? Really? I’m pretty sure any clothes made predominantly for women are classed as feminine!Once in my apartment, I go straight to Sarah’s room. She’s still sound asleep in bed, so I quietly pull two dresses from the back of her closet with a grimace. This doesn’t sit well with me, but I pick the floral floaty number my mother would approve of. It’s not as short as the other one and I know she has shoes that match this. I go to my room so as not to disturb her and change quickly, despairing at my reflection with a curse and return to the SUV looking like some floaty hippy girl in love, in less than ten minutes.“Better,” he says, his eyes appraising me quickly as I slide in. I ignore it. Dressed like this I feel exposed; I need my armor … my tailoring and hair to keep my PA persona with me. Dressed like this I’m like teen Emma and it scares me, takes away my defenses. I don’t like to be unprepared.The car moves off again and I sit back trying to relax. It’s hard to do when every one of your nerve endings is on high alert. My legs are exposed a lot in this floaty dress, and I pull them in tightly against the seat, pulling the hem toward my knees sharply.“Why all the secrecy?” I ask in attempt to interrupt the way he’s watching me. If I didn’t know better, I would think he was checking my legs out. His gaze has certainly covertly swept the length of me twice since I returned.“His father, much like mine, owns a majority share of his business. Family money. If either gets wind of what we’re meeting about then they would oppose this before I can get things in place. Once I maneuver this a certain way, they will be unable to refuse.” He sits back, turning to stare ahead, instead of at me, thankfully. Finally, no longer pinned down by those green eyes.“So, you’re going behind your father’s back?” I blanche, blinking at him as though I have no real sense of this.“For now. He would refuse to even consider it.” He shrugs and starts pushing at something with the toe of his boot on the door. An odd mannerism for who he is.“Why?”“Hunter and my father have a history. They let their rift cloud what’s good for business.” He moves closer to me, abandoning whatever he was kicking at. Almost a conspiration lean.“And you think a merger, with someone your father hates, is a good business move?” I sit back in my seat trying to keep the distance, trying not to inhale that aftershave or unique Carrero scent now it’s closer. He smells too nice for my liking.“If I do this right, then yes … We stand to make a lot of money.” He shrugs and goes back to looking out his window at passing scenery, moving back again and I exhale.“What exactly are you going to be merging with?” I relax, glad to have my breathing space back.“They’re primarily ship builders. I want to take our experience and build floating hotels and spas bearing the Carrero name. Modern conveniences with luxury fitness amenities onboard … Super boats.”“Like cruise ships?”“High-end cruise ships, only a lot bigger and more pamper based.”“What makes you think they will be a success?” I’m intrigued by his plan.“The Carrero name … It’s what Hunter needs for this venture to be plausible. Their reputation of late has suffered. They had a few multibillion-dollar disasters. They get our reputation and our name, and we get rights to the designs they have in progress.”“So, this meeting …?” I’m impressed with his idea and know only too well the rich clients of Carrero would jump at a chance to stay on a floating spa. Carrero is all about luxury.“To outline my plan … How I’m going to maneuver my father to agree to the terms. He could dissolve the whole thing.” He looks serious, a return of boss mode.“I see … What’s expected of me when we get there, Mr. Carrero?” Best to know my part and be prepared so I can act accordingly.“I just need you to look adoring if we see any lingering photographers. There may be press hanging around. Daniel’s going through a bit of a media scandal … Caught screwing someone of importance and then she dumped him publicly. Then, when we’re inside, I need you to keep detailed notes of what’s discussed so I can backtrack later.”“Great.” I grimace, wondering what looking adoring entails. Slightly nauseous at the thought.“You’ll just have to follow my lead, Emma, and don’t get too insulted if I need to touch you.” He throws me a smile, watching for a reaction, a little too closely. My eyes widen and I almost gasp.“Touch me?” I flinch at the tone of my own voice betraying me. My heart rate ups a few notches and my palms become instantly clammy.I never signed up for touching.“You’re my date remember … I may need to hold your hand, or it might look weird … When I take women out, they’re usually inclined to hang over me.” He shrugs again, those piercing eyes back on the front of the car and giving me respite.Of course, they are.This makes me uptight. I want to run away.Great … Now he wants to touch me and cuddle up for the cameras; nowhere did I sign up for that in my employment contract.“I have your permission?” He glances at me hesitantly, waiting for a response.“Yes.” It’s my job. I’m anything but sure, but what harm could it do?Keep reminding yourself of that fact, Emma … I’m sure I can tolerate hand holding for a few minutes, even with him.“Good.”As the car draws up to a grand hotel, I’m not relishing what’s coming, trying not to over-analyze any of this. Before I know it, his driver is opening my door. I step out as Jake follows behind me; we immediately see the hovering photographers with long-lensed cameras hung around their necks and they pique their interest as Jake slides smoothly up behind me, reaching his full height. Even without touching me, I sense him behind me. My body suddenly on high alert at his proximity. Nerves twist my insides to mush.“Ready?” he whispers and loops his fingers in mine as he comes around me to lead, pulling me toward the doormen. I can’t concentrate on much else except the uncomfortable heat of his skin on mine and the way his hand practically dwarves my own. I’ve never let anyone hold my hand … Well, my mother, maybe once or twice, but she doesn’t count. It’s not a welcome experience and I have to steel against the urge to recoil and snap my hand away. Too soft, too hot, too intimate.
I sit and pay attention as we eat from the breakfast buffet; the business merger sounds promising and I take key point notes on things he will want to recap. I listen intently to them thrash through proposals and possibilities with enthusiasm and can see that these men are genuine friends. They have a rapport you can only find between men who know each other well. Sarcasm and banter interlaced with business talk. Jake is one of the ‘guys’ when he’s around Daniel.I can’t help but notice as I’ve been sitting cross legged that Daniel Hunter has not concealed his open appraisal of me, his eyes following my legs and arms intrusively as Jake outlines some points of business. He makes my skin crawl and I’m doing my best to ignore him. I catch Jake glance my way a couple of times, with an unreadable expression before he looks back at his friend.I look up occasionally from note taking and am intrigued with the differences between them. The friendship seems genuine, but I don’t see th
It’s been twelve weeks since I met Jake Carrero and I’m no longer unsure around my over-familiar boss. In such a brief time, the forced proximity and grueling demands has carved out an amicable relationship that doesn’t completely offend me. I find him tolerable, sometimes even amusing. I’d go as far as saying companionable. I maybe even like him a little more than I ever imagined I could.The full force of my job requirements came upon me in a tidal wave after the Hunter breakfast. Margo decided to throw me in the deep end as it was the only way to test my resolve and she had slowly been receding from the picture, until now. Now she is completely absent.I run after him to meetings, carrying files and folders, a wealth of information always at my fingertips. Awaiting his commands, always up to speed with every detail he’s dealing with, always involved. He’s an exhausting workaholic with a very hand on approach, yet I’ve never been happier or more challenged. I’m content.T
The meeting is eventful to say the least. His father makes a grand entrance halfway through and everyone clears the room quickly. The two Carrero men go at it like raging bulls as I stand outside, observing the many eyes watching them through the glass. I stand with my back to them, iPad in hand as I reply to emails and I can hear them arguing in Italian so that no one else can understand what they’re saying.His father is pissed, but Jake is antagonizing him. I can tell by his tone of voice and a quick glance confirms it with his aggressive posture. He never knows when to stop. The merger could still be called off, he should be smoothing things over, not letting his feelings get the better of him.Finally, Senior storms out, yelling something in hostile Italian and Jake snorts in answer. Senior glares back at him before stomping off with a flurry of nervous assistants running after him, without a backward glance, the air crackling with tension.“Emma!&rdq
“Emma?” he looks at me pointedly, that hint of serious coming through the boyish charm.“Even women have needs.”Do they?I think sourly. I’m pretty sure I’ve never needed to go there. I tried it when I was young; non-serious boyfriends and the pressure of other kids doing it. I didn’t like it much and it only left a nasty taste in my mouth.“You would know, of course, being one hundred percent hot-blooded male.” I laugh at him, raising a brow at the man who is as far from feminine as any guy can get.“I go to bed with enough women to know it’s not only men who crave sex. There’s no way you can tell me you don’t get the raging horn, at all?” He’s a little too focused on me now and looking all too invested in this.“Jake, can we talk about something else? I don’t think I want to talk about sex with my boss over lunch.” An anxious knot has moved up
The afternoon is chaotic. For the first time, I’m glad of my assistant, Rosalie’s, lingering presence; it feels like I don’t get a second to think.Jake’s in his office with just as much going on as me; I’ve walked in there a dozen times with files and notes and each time he seems to be shedding clothes. He’s now sitting with his shirt pulled out, unbuttoned at the collar and his sleeves rolled up. His normally styled hair is ruffled, messy, and his tie and jacket are strewn across his couch. His shoes are lying in the middle of the floor, a sure sign he’s stressed.I pick up his tie and jacket and hang them neatly on the hooks behind his door, shuffling his shoes to under the edge of his desk with the toes of my stilettos. I move all the papers from the left side he’s been through and pile them neatly into an open box file, before laying out some stapled contracts he needs to sign to send down to legal. He smiles up at me br
Seattle is miserable.It’s rainy and cold and the meetings drag endlessly, another boring board of directors, and another boring meaningless round of chatter. Something I learned working in my new role is how much businessmen like to set up meetings to discuss nothing much at all and will take several sessions to conclude on something minor.The hotel is like every other we have stayed in and as usual we have a penthouse suite. Grand, opulent, and modern. Jake insists that when we travel, we have rooms in the same suite, so I can be at his beck and call as we usually work late from them. I spent the best part of last night having him dictate memos and running through his schedules and itinerary before he made me get up at the crack of dawn to jog with him in the rain.Jake likes conversation when he runs, so whenever we leave home and his trainer behind, he harasses me into it. I have never jogged so much in my life until I started living with this man.I&r
My shower is hot, steamy, and satisfying. I come out flushed and breathless and figure I maybe should have gone easy on the temperature gauge. My head’s swimming a little, and I’m still feeling fragile.I haul on my nightdress and robe to try and cool off, pad out into the empty room, and instantly know that I’m alone. I had been in the shower an hour and they must have left for dinner. It feels good to be able to chill out and have some alone time though. I mulled over the call enough in the shower and I’m tired of thinking about it. I’ll have to screen my calls from now on, maybe change my number. I’ll need to call my mother; I have an inkling that she was behind him getting it and it pisses me off immensely.Always a sucker for a goddamn sob story. She needs to get a grip.I have been in the social pages a lot over the last few weeks on Jake’s arm at various functions. I guess he figures I’ve hit a goldmine and wants
The Carrero Influence ~ The Dance ~ Jake shifted in his seat for the millionth time and tried once more to get his brain to focus on the laptop on the highly polished walnut surface. He just couldn’t keep himself on track lately. The sound of a female clearing her throat startled him to look up and the impatient stance of Margo waving a piece of paper with a raised eyebrow suggested she had been talking to him while he was zoned out. “Sorry. What?” He frowned and sighed heavily, pushing himself back into his molded leather chair and rolled up his shirt sleeves in agitation. “For God’s sake, Jacob. I’ve been here for three minutes talking at you. You need to just bloody well call her.” Margo’s stern tone did nothing to help his current mood, and he just shifted forward again to try to ignore that intent, chastising glare. He went to his laptop, ducking his head in an attempt to dodge her blue eyes and typed something aimlessly. “Don’t k
The Carrero Influence~ The Elevator Scene ~Jake walked out of the boardroom meeting without any clue as to what he had just sat and endured for the last hour. Margo had been glaring his way and nudging him with her foot under the table every few minutes and making him all the more aware of how ‘out of it’ he was. He had been this way ever since his father’s email had come in, informing him that Emma was back in his building; Back within reach and he had no idea how to handle it. He didn’t know if he should be happy or panicked that he could just see her around his building again, he wasn’t sure how the hell to feel about it but couldn’t deny the slight feeling of hope in his chest that he could bump into her.If he was being honest, he hadn’t had his head in the game for weeks, not since he had sent her away and today was just another prime example of how ‘not well’ he was doing without her in his life.
The Carrero Effect~ The Holiday: Part 2 ~Jake was searching under the water, too dark to see anything and scrambling with his hands at anything that felt like it could be Daniel. Panic gripping his stomach as he frantically surfaced for air and dove again. He had hit the water without a thought the second he knew Danny was in here. No cares that he was maybe too drunk for this and just endlessly searching despite his muscles aching and being so heavy he could barely move anymore. It felt like it had been hours instead of minutes and he still hadn’t found him. He wouldn’t give up on him, he wouldn’t lose his best friend this way.Surfacing for air quicker this time he took a moment to drag more into his burning lungs and wipe the water from his eyes. He could hear yelling from the deck, crying from Leila and other voices but he was fully zoned-in on the surface of the water looking for any signs of him.“He’s here, Mr. Carre
The Carrero Effect~ The Holiday: Part 1 ~Jake strolled into his apartment and threw his bag down on the couch. It had been a long trip and an even longer week, but he suddenly felt restless at being back. Normally, getting home brought him all kinds of joy, but this time it felt slightly empty, and he actually wished they’d stayed at that damn dance just so he could still be with her right now. Pacing to the window and looking out across the New York skyline he ran his hand through his hair and cracked his neck in a bid to release some of the tension building up his spine. Flexing his arms over his head and straining the jacket holding him tight. He needed to get out of this monkey suit they called a tux and get comfy, maybe he just needed to feel less business-like and properly relax. Maybe he needed a drink.He needed to stop fixating on Emma; it wasn’t healthy, and the constant stream of thoughts he had about her was getting harder to control. S
The Carrero Effect~ The First Meeting ~Jacob Carrero stood in his room in front of the large mirror over the vanity and warmed hair wax between his fingers, smirking at the familiar black and gold branded product on the wooden surface. His father was still lording over the decision to start a male grooming line with Jake’s face all over the advertising campaign; not that he cared. He was used to being publicly owned, always on show, and every woman’s idea of a fantasy male.Which guy wouldn’t? Women falling at your feet every day. Hell yeah.He rubbed it through his hair expertly and spiked it up toward the center and forward in its trademark style. He was never really one for much fussing over his hair, this kept it sorted and then he never had to care for the rest of the day or mess with it unless he ran his hands through and mussed it up. If he had his way, he would shave it all off, but he had done that in his teens and he
I catch sight of some of my favorite women on the right-hand side of the aisle. Margo is wiping a tear from her eye and nudging Wilma in her side as both woman wave to me. They’re blowing their noses and crying as Donna throws tissues their way. My crazy trio of motherly hens. Donna’s mascara is pouring down her normally flawless face and I spot Rosalie wave from behind a very handsome man, grinning wildly and looping arms with him, a look of radiant happiness on her pretty face. I beam back at them with a tiny wave before moving on in time to the music, slow steps, with Giovanni leading the way.I catch sight of the Huntsbergers, my new extended family sitting close by and smile warmly at them. The row of adopted children and Huntsberger father looking so proud of his family. Ben and his baby son are near the end of the row. He’s is cuddling him proudly and looking every bit the doting dad. He is now the soul parent o
“My son was in pain and hiding from what he wanted most,” he says so factually, looking down at me, “I put you back in his path, so he would stop being a coward.” Giovanni grins and all words leave my brain in an open-mouthed silent gawp; realization dawning on me so suddenly that I am literally rendered speechless.He sent me back to Carrero House? Making me believe that he was going to fire me if I didn’t … an ultimatum that led us to where we are now.Giovanni is admitting to maneuvering me back into Jake’s building, so we would end up back in each other’s arms, crafty jerk that he is. He giggles like a schoolboy at my obviously shocked expression and pats my hand tenderly over his inner elbow. That self-confident effortless look on a man who always sees all and knows everything.“No need to thank me, Emma.” He
I smooth my hands down my ivory wedding dress. It’s classy elegance and understated top is lined with a simple sleeveless fitted bodice and tiny pearl detailing. It has a full wispy floating skirt, and layers and layers of chiffon puffing out to a full-length cloud of loveliness. It’s a fairy-tale princess dress and matches beautifully with the elegant engagement ring twinkling on my hand, sparkling in all its shining glory.I admire my flawless natural make-up in the mirror, touching up my nude lipstick. My tawny hair is wild and curled in its loose romantic style, tiny tendrils hang around my face and I appraise my reflection with pride.I look beautiful! I feel beautiful and serene. There is no fear whatsoever.I look like a woman hopelessly in love, about to marry the man of her dreams.I am that woman.I slide on my satin ivory stilettos that almost mirror the shoes I used to adore so much. It feels weird to be ba
I am getting so frustrated at myself, my inner anger rears up. I’m surrounded by the song that gave me two of the happiest moments of my life, when he gave me his all, and yet here I am lying here, my sub-conscious holding me back from what I deserve. It’s like the beginning of our relationship all over again. I’m back to the defiant, closed-off Emma who never let him in, always holding back when he needed me most.No! I am not doing this to you, Jake. Not anymore, I won’t!The song is a reminder that he doesn’t always need to be my strength, but a prompt to show me that sometimes I need to be his too. I need to build my own force to find my way back. I need to hold him up and face whatever reality comes when my body wakes up. Maybe that’s why my mind doesn’t want me to wake up. It’s afraid that what Ray did to me will make me hide in the shadows again, that I won’t be able to love Jake and le