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2021-08-21 02:14:29I throw my third sexy dress on the bed and slump down in a deflated heap, annoyed with myself that I’m doing exactly what I said I wouldn’t do. Prettying myself up for him and stressing over how to dress and what to wear like some sad little teenage idiot on a first date. I can’t believe myself sometimes.
He texted me and told me to be ready for six and to dress casually. Whatever that means. Ironic really, as that was my original plan; to show a lack of effort and now, here I am with a bed full of dresses and he is the one telling me to dress down.
I don’t know if he means casual pretty for somewhere like his Italian restaurant or if he means jeans and sweater cas
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The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 148
“Alexi!” I freak out, yanking at it to get it off my head, hating this feeling of trapped, muffled isolation and stop when his voice comes through my ear from the side loudly, almost like he is in here with me.“Can you hear me clearly?”I stop the manic panic and nod mutely. Not sure how the hell he can be inside my helmet, but it has the calming effect of being let loose. Not trapped in here with my own voice, but he can hear me.“You can talk you know, the helmets have wireless speakers and mics, so we can still hear each other over the bike.” He taps the visor in my face as though motioning to inside the helmet and I giggle nervously, so much tension whooshing away as I do so. The sudden lack of panting makes the visor clear up again and I can see perfectly out of it. Just takes some getting used to.“Right … weird.” I don’t know if it is because I’ve never been on a bike before,
Last Updated : 2021-08-21The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 149
I like this place; it gives you that instant calm feeling of being somewhere safe and welcoming. A bit like being in his arms. I shake that thought from my head before my brain follows the being in his arms to something a little more X-rated and remind myself, I’m supposed to be dissecting this man and figuring him out.“That depends on how much I’m allowed to know,” I ask with a slight brow raise and a half smile. My seductress side smoothly flowing now I feel more at ease. I too am drawing serene from our calm abode.“Whatever you want. I meant it when I said I would earn your trust. If that means being an open book and telling you whatever you want to know, then here we are.” He gestures around him, watching me carefully.“You could have done that at the club, why bring me here?”Because Alexi is a devious shit who likes to set a scene and manipulate a response. I have seen him do it for his own ends a hu
Last Updated : 2021-08-21The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 150
“Do you want the textbook version?” He throws me a wary look and I nod gently, impatient to know more about him, even if I am feeling a little wary. Mentally storing the name to search on google when I’m alone. Even if he explains well, it won’t be enough and now I want to know everything there is to know about what it is. This is a major thing.“It’s characterised by impulsive, irresponsible and criminal behaviour. Manipulation, deceit, lack of empathy, sometimes controlling behaviour. Aggression, violence, pushing people into things I want and not giving a shit what it does to them. Sex is often a weapon and something I know I use. Doesn’t exactly paint a good picture of me does it?” Alexi looks sombre, as though regretting telling me this, and realising he is doing the opposite of giving me a reason to trust him; for me, it’s not like that. He’s being honest about the worst of him and not hiding this from me
Last Updated : 2021-08-21The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 151
Alexi, the sweet, grey-eyed, handsome boy in those pictures, did not deserve that at all. He was an innocent little kid who had done nothing back then to be punished for. She should have loved him no matter what. She should have pulled him closer because of his flaws and reassured him. He didn’t ask to be different. It wasn’t his fault.“She put you on this path, Gino is right. She maybe didn’t force you to follow your father, but all the bricks were laid in the years leading up to it.” There’s a stern tone in my voice but he just takes my hand in his and interlaces our fingers snugly, like he did last night.“No, she didn’t. That night did. It showed me what I was capable of. I asked my father to take me under his wing with his men. I wanted to be useful in a place my behaviours could be a gift rather than a curse. I wanted to belong somewhere that she would never get involved. She didn’t push me there, it was my c
Last Updated : 2021-08-21The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 152
Alexi tilts his head as my lips meet a tad aggressively and cups my jaw with his hand to pull me snugly and comfortably as he ducks lower. Pushing his fingers into the underside of my hair, clamping me to him possessively and taking immediate control. Not that I’m surprised or complaining. I have a serious weakness for this man dominating me the second kissing or sex is involved. Weirdly, as in life, I hate it when he exerts his authority over me at any other time. He’s my alpha male though, and in this, I don’t want his submission; I want him to devour me. He’s his most impressive when he is in control in this way. He makes me feel desirable and addictive when he overpowers me sexually.He kisses me softly at first and then opens his lips to tease mine with them and t
Last Updated : 2021-08-21The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 153
The conviction in his voice, the gentle way he strokes his thumb over mine and pulls me to his chest to lean his nose against my temple, stirs a belief in me deep down that this is a genuine apology, for all of it. Alexi really does regret the past between us and for the first time, without doubt, question or niggles, I truly believe him.We have hit a crossroad and I need to choose a path. I can either dwell and continue to find fault and put hurdles in his way, or I can take his hand and see where this takes us. I’m so tired of living in the shadows and misery. I have a longing to walk into the light and maybe my master of darkness will be the one to lead me there.“No point dwelling anymore. The past will only drag you backwards.” I deflect the tender moment and push him away gently to give myself breathing space. Hating the route of our conversation and stare at the fire instead. Hating myself for being so conflicted and hot and cold with him, eve
Last Updated : 2021-08-21The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 154
The awkwardness and weird strained silence disappeared once the wine flowed more freely, and we found we had a lot of things we could talk about between movies. Alexi is funnier than I thought he could be, with a dry humour not unlike mine, a wicked childish streak that can be adorable when it shines through. He annoyed me immensely, more than once, and we bickered frequently, but he just swooped in and shut me up mid rage with a tongue in my mouth. He’s too good at doing it, like stealth snogging and you don’t see him coming at all. My legs gave out and body melted the second his lips glued to mine and I ceased to think about anything, except him.This morning, however, in the cold light of day with a mega headache and fuzzy brain, waking up cosily by his side, all my doubts and
Last Updated : 2021-08-21The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 155
“Maybe we should revisit the kissing thing. Not sure I can give that up on top of sex and heavy groping. I mean there is only so much I can handle keeping in check. I’m not really that much of a good boy.” Alexi slips me a sexy smile and picks up the kettle when it clicks, to pour us coffee. Watching the steam rise and hit with the heavy aroma as soon as the cups are filled.“You’re not a good boy at all, that’s part of the charm. I think if we are revisiting the kissing, it requires a proper negotiation. I have to get something back if you are getting free rein to kiss me,” I jest huskily, flirtation coming out all by itself and aware I have slid my arm through his and am pressing my body to his side a little too possessively. Pushed up tight so I can get as much of him as possible.“You get my tongue in your mouth with all its expertise, several times a day. That’s reward enough.” Tha
Last Updated : 2021-08-21
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The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 190
I’m standing staring at myself in the mirror, nerves eating away at me and fidgeting with my dress a little obsessively. It’s long, fitted, ivory, and very classy. A sleek, full-length, fishtailed number that looks great on my body, with my toned-down neutral face and minimal jewellery. Stomach in knots and anally checking my appearance like my life depends on it. Despite knowing, I look flawless. Déjà vu from the morning I met his mother and yet this is way worse. I’m terrified. “You look gorgeous, stop fretting.” Alexi’s voice comes from behind me and he sways to the side of me as he approaches. I stop him mid-step and lean my body against him gently. Backing myself against him. This is something I have been working on for a while now. Letting Alexi get behind me, touch me when standing there and leaning against him. He doesn’t object, just stands still recognising my attempt and lets me fall back against him gently. It’s stupid and weird, I guess, that it’
The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 189
Soon as we get out the door Mico flanks me on one side with Alexi on the other and we are instantly surrounded by more Carrero security. Like a black wall that’s impenetrable and offers instant calm to my frazzled brain. Guiding us efficiently and shielding us from all angles. Overkill, but I guess I’m thankful for it.“What about the rest of her outfit?” Alexi asks as we walk briskly out of the building, the first to leave, but I can already hear chairs scraping as others depart, now we have. Some of them eager to walk away now they've found a resolution to this debacle.It’s weird how something that hung over us for months is tied up with a bow in one very brief sitting. I can’t get my head around the fact the threat is gone, and I no longer need to live under house arrest for any reason. A sudden lightness to my mood as the heavy weight of burden is lifted.“Most departed as soon as they heard their source of income w
The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 188
They lead us to a large, carved, ugly wooden door depicting nude women mid-orgy, and I eye roll at the crassness. Suits Santagato to a T. Mico slides in front of us quickly, knocks on it several times in a coded bang while we wait silently and patiently. Tension making the air so thick I can almost cut it with a knife. I have to still my trembling body, clinging onto him for dear life, focusing on his warm hand encasing mine snugly as a form of grounding and I repeat the mantra ‘he will always protect me’ inside my head.It’s opened immediately and two men move aside as we are let into a dark, smoky room where several men are sitting at a long table. I cannot count how many there are, eyes scanning the crowded scene quickly as my focus tries to adjust rapidly. I swallow my breath, my heart plummets and I just let him take the lead.Alexi walks us in behind two of his men and Mico. I can tell at a glance which ones are the bosses, by their suits and gr
The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 187
“Please,” I whisper it so quietly, begging him to stop questioning, to just take what I’m offering him. He surely understands my reasons. I close my eyes when he finally leans up and pulls one end of the strap and tugs it off my wrist slowly. The material sliding coldly and making me shiver. Eyes on what he’s doing, and I exhale, appeased that we are still going ahead even if a part of me dies a little inside. Like an idiot because I started this.I wait with bated breath for the dreaded feel of leather on my skin, but nothing happens. Anticipation makes me tetchy, heightening my senses to alarming levels and I notice every noise and sensation. I'm antsy and I can’t stand it anymore.Instead, the slide of the one around my neck startles me and I gulp in air, jumping slightly, realising he might start with leashing me and tying me after he gets a makeshift collar on me. A lot of men like Alexi like to have you leashed and tied up for full c
The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 186
Teeth, tongues, lips, coming together of a rather aggressive game of tonsil tennis as his hands slide up my body and I wrap my legs around his waist. Moaning quietly with the way he ignites every nerve ending in me. Body tingling and on fire within seconds as I rub myself against the button and rough zip on his trousers, pushing myself into a fevered frenzy of longing.There is no real foreplay, just a sudden need to consummate our passion right here and now and I reach down and unbutton him so he can spring free from the confines of fabric. Alexi feels me out, probing my warmth with his fingers, finding me wet and willing and doesn’t waste time on formalities.He slides into me soon as he leans back over me and presses down on me as he does so, so our bodies fit snugly and muffle my moans of pleasure as they overtake me. Snug as a hand in a glove, he fills me up in the best kind of way, spreading that pulsating, gorgeously good feeling up through my pelvis and i
The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 185
These are things people figure out before they marry someone, and here we are, already invested and now I’m thinking about the fact I should have told him this already.Babies! Not a fucking chance in hell. He won’t know, unless he did read all my journals, but even then. I wouldn’t say it was obvious from those diary excerpts that my inability to have kids was permanent or even a blessing. I went over the abortion and such and the after-effects and recovery, but I don’t think I ever spelt it out, in black and white, that my body no longer produces eggs for any chance of fertilisation.How do you tell the man cradling a newborn like he was born to do so if that’s where his hopes lie then it won’t happen with me?How do I tell him that I can’t give him this and wouldn’t want to even if I could? Is this what he wants?The happy 2.4 children, family home a
The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 184
It’s not the expected outcome; grown woman turning to childish puppy dog mush, pawing at her angry husband like a devious minx; I find myself eye rolling at the lamest form of female manipulation there is.“You knew? You met her?” Accusatory tone as she tries to regain some footing. Alexi sighs loudly and I glance his way to see him turn and butt himself against the table, throwing me an unreadable look before he downs another drink and I try not to count how many that is. By the look of his sudden lack of trying, I guess he has been prone to scenes like this before, where his father had to steamroll in to defend him, and Alexi mentally goes off on a cruise and leaves him to it. I just stand here like an idiot, a third wheel and in no way wanting to witness this shit.“He’s my son. He has no secrets from me, he never did. Unlike you, he confides in me and comes to me often!” It’s putting her in her place and any other mother mi
The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 183
The house is huge and beautiful like some sort of movie set for the lifestyle of the rich and famous. A towering white mansion set in a beautiful green manicured garden like some modern painting. Set in the sunny Hamptons, near the coast in a very picturesque area that comprises of nothing but huge grand houses, that just spew wealth. I can see why the Carreros reign supreme here. It’s like the real housewives of Orange County.Their home a show house for sure, completely devoid of lived in family life and we are let in by a maid who ushers us into a sitting room in what appears to be a deserted house until she runs off to find our host. Marble entranceway not dissimilar to that of Alexi’s nearby abode, huge sweeping staircase in a flawless neutral palette. It’s glossy magazine worthy with massive professional vases of floral arrangements dotted at key points on expensive furniture around the edges of the room.I find it odd that Alexi is being treate
The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 182
“I can’t do this, Lexi.” My heart is hammering through my chest and I have checked my appearance three dozen times in the full-length mirror of the bedroom we stayed in for the rest of the night. Obsessed with my appearance as anxiety strangles the life out of me. Trying to focus on something I can control and getting a little preoccupied with its importance.We were busy most of last night, making up for our strained day with lots of gentle lovemaking, kissing and caresses, and I’m aglow with his attention today. Cheeks flushed, skin dewy, and a twinkling happiness in my eyes I’ve never seen before. I felt completely chilled when I got up this morning, well almost completely. That was until he dumped this little announcement on me that we’re having a cosy family brunch at Mummy’s house.Ugh. Last night was a repeat of the night he first made love to me, after the failed kidnapping at the club. Only without him
