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Alexi is avoiding me. Party in full swing on our first night and I am completely in control of the event. I would go as far as saying our first night is a success, minus one tiny little detail …
Tyler, my ex-drug dealer, that beat me half to death has come as a guest; I was too preoccupied because of Alexi to check the bloody guest list before coming down here to see. Joanne, the tit of a girl, obviously ignored the list of banned names when looking through this, or else it was deliberate, and she’s in need of a good slap. It just adds a level of extreme anxiety to my night and has me looking over my shoulder constantly always aware of where he is.
I may have nothing to fear from him anymore, but he still tried to kill me and that won’t just go away. My stomach is swirling with nerves knowing he’s here, and I just cannot relax. I keep biting my lip and picking my nails and then scalding myself for showing my unease so obviously. I’m bette
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The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 119
I relax so fast it’s unearthly and that sense of ‘you did it this time, you idiot’ comes over me as my face curls into a wicked grin aimed the slimy arseholes way.‘Tyler … Long-time no see.’ That smooth fake charm in Alexi’s voice that I know is concealing an evil reaction to seeing this smug arse harassing me. Everything Alexi is, he won’t ever tolerate someone threatening me or insulting me; especially not in his club.He slides a hand around my waist gently, welcomingly for once, and moves me aside, so he can get past to the object of his focus. Sliding bodily as he brushes by me, and it instils in me a complete sense of calm—Alexi in control and standing between me and the prick who was trying to ruin my night.I can’t fault him when he sweeps in as my hero once again.‘Mr Carrero … just catching up with an old friend.’ Tyler looks instantly nervous, knowing his place in
The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 120
I walk into the office where Alexi has been holed up for hours and rap on the door as I enter to get his attention. Dressed in another tight jersey dress today, this one is long sleeved and stretchy, black to match my mood and broken up with a gold belt that matches my killer heel shoes. I’m in sleek chic and not been in a very merry frame of mind all day. I feel like I have been tugging along a looming black cloud everywhere I go since last night, and I am just simmering with hostile energy.‘What is it?’ He doesn’t rip his eyes away from his laptop as he types, just keeps on with whatever he is doing, and I linger by the door. Mildly annoyed that he doesn’t even give me a look to acknowledge me properly, seeing as this is the first I have seen him today. He has been holed up out of my way and sending moody vibes through the whole building from afar. It feels like everyone has been tiptoeing around, and I am pretty sure he is the cause. A look o
The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 121
I had no one else though, and despite everything she did to me, I would still clean her up when she was laid passed out on the floor and covered in sick. I would put her to bed and try to clean our shitty rooms in a bid to please her. I would beg for money and food to take care of us. Even after that day, I still used my own wiles and skill to make sure our house had heat and food, and I never let her starve. She didn’t provide for us, she just laid around wasted.I watched her when she was out of her face on a high, and I bathed her when she hit the sweats, shits, shakes and convulsions of withdrawal. I did my duty, and slowly over the years, all I felt for her disappeared along with her health and it became a burden instead. She taught me how to resent.I didn’t have a childhood, I didn’t know what it was like to know affection or love, so even now I find it hard to give or receive that elusive emotion in a healthy way. Mico and Jackson are slowly c
The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 122
Weirdly, my day isn’t as bad as every previous year.I find myself watching movies and eating cake without really pondering anything of the past and anytime I catch sight of my new pretty, it makes me feel kind of strange. I have no idea why. I mean, I love jewellery as much as the next girl, but I have never been particularly attached to any I ever owned.This one little bracelet is fast forming some strange attachment to my heartstrings so that anytime I catch a glimpse, I smile. Stupid little inward bubbles I cannot explain.Maybe it’s because in all the twenty-nine birthdays I have had, this is the first one someone bought me a gift; Even if it was from him. It’s a strange feeling to think of it that way, yet it has somehow distracted me from the usual routine of tears and low mood and lying in a depressive state. The dandelion reference got me thinking and maybe I’m not done with it yet.My tattoo had a meaning once, and despi
The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 123
Seeing them closer sets me off once more and I’m done for; laughing harder while I fish around in my purse and wave money at Jackson as if to motion that I need these.I can’t wait to see Alexi’s face when I hand these over as a thank you for my London themed birthday gifts. I cannot even imagine him getting it at all or breaking a smile on that moody starchy pants face of his; even better. A joke he might not get, but I cannot resist it. New York socks for Kingpin New York himself.I try to calm myself as Jackson pays for them and hands me back a paper bag that is so street tacky that it hits me all over again in a third intensive wave. Tacky socks in a brown paper bag and I am giving them to the Mafia billionaire as a thank you for a sarcastic gift—just perfect.I have no idea why this is making me crease up so much, or even why it’s as funny as it is, but I just can’t stop, even when Jackson hands me my greasy dog and I tuc
The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 124
I wake up disorientated and groggy, well rested but so out of whack. I’m in my own bed when I was sure I fell asleep on the couch during my movie marathon and blink at my surroundings. I sit up suddenly when I realise that I don’t have my duvet over me, but the throw from the end of my bed and can only assume I was put here by someone else. I am still wearing my sweatpants and yoga bra and try to get my bearings. Completely confused at how I ended up through here.The smell of coffee lingers in the air and I get up warily to stretch and yawn, knowing only one person would be in here brewing that foul stench, and he is probably the one who moved me from the couch. He maybe came up and wanted to sit in the living room and moved me for that reason. I shrug it off; run my fingers through my bedhead before padding out into the apartment sleepily.It feels eerily still and I can tell no one else is here anymore, but the mess I left on the coffee table has been cl
The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 125
Tears fill my eyes, blurring my vision as my hand starts to tremble around the can I am still holding; instantly blown away by something so basic. I mentally shake it off as I check myself, pulling my shit together; breathe out the overwhelming wave of emotions and lean down slowly to tip out the contents into his bowl. I lay the can on the ground, still bent over and tentatively reach for the cats back, pausing with nerves cascading out of every pore—Tense and hopeful.He makes another sweep against me, even though his food is there, and gently I run my fingers along his spine feeling his soft fur and surprisingly warm body heat which completely soothes my soul. The cat butts his head up to meet my palm and for a second of sheer joy lets my rub his head properly.It’s short-lived—as soon as he sees the food is out he darts off, tail in the air and the moment is gone, but it was a moment of utter completion for me and my chest and stomach are brimming
The Carrero Contract (series book 3) 126
‘Just a little bit of touching … You’re too irresistible to not want to touch.’ It’s a wink, a return of playful and yet my heart plummets.Don’t go there, Alexi, please. I don’t want to fight again. I mentally will him to not go down this route and just push his hand away as he smiles my way.‘Did you have some sort of personality transplant when I was gone?’ I chide him, half serious and deflating inside, knowing that this was a dumb invitation to accept. There’s too much between us that comes out whenever we are left alone, and I don’t think we should try to build any sort of camaraderie outside of the club if this is anything to go by. History means there is so much tension and resentment lying in the silence that neither of us wants to air. I’m not that great a communicator, and he seems like he wants avoidance of the before too.‘Maybe I just had a wake-up
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