Theodora's POVDinner was silent except for the scraping of silverware on my mom's good plates. Awkward. My entire crew lined the dining room table, aside from Mads, who took his portion to the barn to get a head start on repairs. Javier was sitting between Ellie and Benji, tentatively eating dinner. Cutting into the roast and vegetables. It smelled delicious, but I was too busy staring my dad down. Waiting for him to say something, but he never did. His icy gaze fixed on his plate, jaw strained tight even as he bit down on a forkful of food. I could practically hear his teeth clack against the silverware.Oh, fuck, he looked pissed. Just as angry as he was when he kicked me out.I knew coming here was a bad idea. We should've just stayed in the wreckage. I would have figured it out. But I knew my momma would be heartbroken if she knew I was so close and didn't visit. But I didn't want to have my father look at me like I was a disappointment again. I just knew he w
Theodora's POVMy heart was still pumping wildly, stuck in fight or flight as I stepped into the side door of the barn. A stack of scrap from Peacemaker piled in the corner. The smell of oil and hay. Peacemaker barely fit under the high ceilings. My dad typically worked on smaller crafts, but thankfully there was enough room to get the job done.And his hydrolift was strong enough to prop our ship a few feet in the air.Sparks flew from underneath the undercarriage, and the sound of a torch zapping drew my gaze to where Mads was. There was an empty plate on the workbench.At least he was able to eat before burying himself in work. My shoulders were still shaking, coming off the adrenaline. But it still fired through my system, making me jittery. The zapping stopped as Mads kicked himself out from under the ship, twisting off the blowtorch. He took off his welding mask, smoke clinging to his skin. His tattoos were glistening with sweat, clinging to his skin in droplets aro
Javier's POVI felt useless. Sitting awkwardly in my seat as Theo fought with her father. Dark brown eyes glistened with tears that threatened to spill. Her father, Forest, shot back with some bullshit about giving up his career to take care of his kids.How he gave up everything for her. But that wasn't her fault. In fact, I got the impression her father didn't know the whole story. The way the past came back to haunt her. I got a taste of it after Zeus 9, but now, I saw her crumble completely. Her eyes became clouded with pure horror. A type of terror she couldn't hide.She closed her eyes tight, knuckles white with how hard she was gripping herself. The past had come back for her again, sucking her into an abyss. I wanted to do something. Help her as I watched her disappear behind her eyes. But I didn't know how to help her. In my one hundred and forty-six years, I had never seen something so horrifying it threw me into a spiral. I didn't envy it. But there w
Theodora's POVShame mottled my face. I can't believe Javier walked in on me and Mads. Fuck, how embarrassing. We were walking down a moonlit path, away from the homestead, down to a creek behind the barn I'd use for target practice when my dad first gave me his colt.I was sixteen and while most teenage girls on Gaea wanted a rover, I got a six-shooter. Nearly an antique that I took pride in shining and fixing so it would shoot. My dad told me it was one of the few things left from our earth's ancestors and he had been waiting to give it to me.Now that six-shooter was a key part of my identity. Something I poured my time and energy into master. I glanced over at Javier, his bulky shoulders, the line in his forehead."Javier…" I started, unsure where to take the conversation."How long have you and Mads been together?" he asked. "Were you together when you came onto me on Ilios?"Right to it then. "No. Mads and I have history, sure, but we broke it off before I met you," I
Theodora's POVThe next few days were all about fixing Peacemaker. Mads and Javier worked on securing the engine properly since they were the only two physically strong enough to move that massive hunk of metal around. Meanwhile, the other four of us secured the lights and used my dad's rivet gun to mend the panels to create a tight seal that would withstand the pressure of space travel. Fuck, it wasn't a minor job. The Pantomath wrecked Peacemaker, but I wasn't going to let him win. At the least, I had a leg up on him. Chances are that he didn't know about the Lunar Ravagers and was looking for us to leech information about Sol.He didn't know everything, and he would piggyback off me if he could.But, it was only a matter of time until he found where we crash-landed and I wanted to be long gone by then. If we were there, then there would be no reason for him to bring my parents into it. But regardless, that was a risk that I informed my mom about. I didn't want to leav
Theodora's POVMy mom outstretched a coffee to me. I took the hot beverage, bringing it to my lips to warm my insides. I sighed happily, enjoying it during the cold morning. I wore my leather jacket, and holster on my hip as usual. We would be leaving any day now. Only a few minor fixes. And with my dad's electrical experience, repairs were moving much faster. It almost felt like I was a teenager again, fixing up a ship with my dad. Comms were up and we could use the frequency from my ship to radio in on the wavelength if anyone needed anything. Definitely saved me the trouble of looking around the homestead for my brother. And saved Daxton the embarrassment of having his sister walk in on him and Ellie.I don't know what really happened between them, but I noticed the fleeting glances. The indigo flush on Ellie's cheeks. The handholding. All toothachingly sweet. So damn cute. I was happy for them.My own relationship…relationships, were slightly more complicated. I hadn
Mads's POVI never wanted Theo to look at me like that. Hands balled into fists. Shoulders quaking. Tears streaming down red-tinted cheeks. It killed me. My throat felt thick as she screamed at me, the pain she couldn't control just under the surface.I could still feel the sensation of where she shoved me, imprinted onto my chest. She didn't hurt me, only used me as an outlet for her anger. Better me than anyone else.Because I could take Theo's anger.Daxton was still reeling from the realization that he left his parents behind. Almost lost his sister too if I had let her jump back into the barn. I saw Theo staring down at the hay, hand on her pistol, a resigned look in her eye.She would jump down there, fill herself with holes, and throw herself on the sword if it meant anyone else had a chance. Her sacrificial nature was sometimes her worst characteristic. Even if I knew she had the best intentions, she didn't think them through.Because if she had landed in the hay, a
Theodora's POVI felt so fucking sick to my stomach. A stone weighing in my chest. My shoulders were sore from how hard I was weeping. My spine curled forward until I was hugging my knees to my chest. I prayed that my parents were okay.But I didn't know for sure.I just know that I could have done something.Jumped off the gangway and saved them the way I couldn't save my platoon. But Mads didn't let me. He ripped me backward, feet stumbling into his arms, holding me down as I wailed. But now all that grief felt numb.I felt numb.The glass of starshine on my desk was still untouched. I poured it for myself, but before I could drink it to quell the shakes, I fell over myself and dry-heaved into the garbage can. Nothing came up, but my stomach lurched and lurched.Painfully clenching my chest. I couldn't even vomit. All I did was cry so hard I couldn't see straight. A headache pounding my temples. Fighting the abyss that nipped at my ankles, tempting me to plummet into th