"Look, I know you're angry and hurt but I can explain," he says softly not looking at me, he sits down on the floor, resting against the bed.Now we're on the same level, talking to one another across the room. If anyone walked in they'd think some crazy sh*t is going on, especially since I'm crying now."Before you say anything else, tell me the truth. Nothing but," I say softly but he hears, he looks up at me and tears well up in his eyes.He has no right to cry!Now it's my turn to look away, "Can I just at least come closer to you, I can't stand being this far from you," We're no more than a few meters apart but I know what he means and agree, we may now be only a few feet apart but we still seem for from one another."So?" The word comes out more harsh than I intended."That kiss...that kiss was one sided, I swear," I scoff."You didn't push her away, the counts as something," I wince at my tone, but he do
*X Ambassadors- Unsteady *Anson Seabra- Broken*Astrid S- Years*NF- Paralyzed*~*~*~* No.No, no, no, no, no.Anger, fear and hurt bustle in me, my body is shaking and I can't stop it. Whatever hope I had in me is gone now, emptiness taking its place."What the f*ck is this?!" I yell turning to him, I haven't moved into the room much more.I'm too scared of what I'll see upfront, confusion is written all over my face. He rubs his hand over his face and hair with a sigh."What the f*ck Xander?!" I try again, my voice echoes throughout the empty mansion.He remains quiet, staring at me with such intensity that it feels like I'm being stabbed by a thousand needles.A tear escapes his eye, he doesn't wipe it away but let's it fall and allows the others to follow. I turn abruptly and look around the small but huge space, it's cold in here so instinctively I wrap my ar
Rocking back and forth, muttering the same words over and over again. I want to hug her, hold her and let her cry on me but she refuses.I've been beaten and the bruises have formed as proof, she's willing to cry but not to me.Not with me as her support pillar, not as her husband or a friend. Nothing.I watch until she stops, her head between her legs. "Tell me you're lying?" She whispers, I don't respond.It's rhetorical, she knows it true. She can't believe it, she doesn't want to.I'm too weak to convince her, to broken and empty fight. I just want to forget that all of this ever happened.I never went to therapy, my father wouldn't let me and I didn't want to, spilling my life to a shrink wasn't and isn't my thing.If anything Rosaleigh is my shrink, I can I only talk to her, not even in the same way I talk to Nic.I may have grown up physically, financially etc. But emotionally and mentally I'm still that
Cautiously I open the door to Xander's room, I need a duffle bag and I don't have one hence I'm here.The house is empty, I called out for him but he didn't respond. Right now I don't want to be around him or anyone, so I'm taking advantage of the lack of presence to pack up.I mean sure I'm worried but I know he won't do anything stupid...nothing majorly stupid.Finding one I sneak back into my room and start packing up, random clothes but nothing much.What dad said is stuck with me, I really don't know how long I have. I can't stay angry at him, it's not his fault and well I just hard to be angry at him. I zip up the bag and hoist it over my shoulder then look for my purse and keys, just then the door creaks open.More like busts wide open but either way I stand in shock and watch as he stumbles in. I make no move towards him, he grips onto the door for balance."Salie?" My heart wanes at the nickname, I gulp back my tears.I couldn't think h
My head held high I stare back and the devil in Prada, the hatred on her face is quite clear and the feeling is mutual."This is all your fault!" She stabs her pointed nail into my chest, I swat it away with a snarl."Don't touch me," she rolls her eyes and looks back into the house."Lucas what's taking you so long?!" Is this woman naturally bitter? Her face is what our mothers warn us of when we pull faces, it's like the woman I saw back then is gone.Who's Lucas?Just then a baby waddles towards the door with glazed eyes, my eyes widen.The f*ck?Who yells at a baby that's no older than three? She is way more evil than the devil, Lucas reaches up for her but she instead grabs his hand with a scowl and drags him to the Porche in the driveway.Evil b*tch.Are we going to ignore the fact that that could possibly be his kid?Yes, yes we are.Cautiously I take a step in the house and close the door behind me, it looks no different than
I said my finger hovered on the call button for many minutes but it hovered for many hours a day.I thought about all of him, every moment we spent together, his scent. I actually contemplated coming back and taking one of his shirts, that's how bad it was.I'm crazy, I know.I just missed the man that's impacted my life in such a short span of time...maybe an extra sixteen years.It was pure torture. I need him."I missed you would be an understatement," I say, he squeezes me as if to say 'me too'.We stand a little while longer until we let go, I don't even get a second to breathe or admire him as his lips crash on mine.Call this a double shot of ecstacy.It's like there's a fourth of July party going on inside of me, pure and utter bliss.The kiss doesn't last long as Noelle yells from somewhere that Nicky is here, we pull apart.Our lips are swollen and breaths heavy, his forehead is rested against mine and his eyes are closed. I cup
She cocks her head to the side and smirks, "Don't you see the resemblance. Meet Lucas," she sips her whiskey.I glare at her and set the child down on the rug, "What are you up to Lisa? You and I never slept together," I grit.Did we?She chuckles, "Oh dear we did. If I remember May sixteen, 2021. Quite the night if you ask me," she wiggles her eyebrows.I look at Lucas, that would make him over one years old. "That doesn't prove anything. And if I remember correctly, you were in a relationship at that moment?"Right now I'm playing my cards, I couldn't care less who she dates or when she dates. So long as she isn't in our lives, I'm happy."But you still wanted to tap that, and 'that' turned into that," she points at her son like it's some animal, even referred to him as 'that'.You wondered why I didn't want her in NoNo's life?Even if he isn't mine I wouldn't mind taking her out of the cluthes of the devil, I can only imagine his upbringing wi
Rosaleigh P.O.V After the mini get-together and many cries of concern all was well, as well as it could get. There was a little bit of awkwardness as everyone would give me random glances, I pegged it as concern.We tried to play around with our words for the small ones not to catch on, I don't know how I'd feel if Noelle knew.I may not have long but right now isn't the time for her to know.Like any other get-together everyone is sleeping here, I thought hard and long about whether I should sleep with Xander but opted for it.His scent that wafted around the room was a much loved smell, it made me more comfortable than I was initially.For the longest of hours, neither of us slept, I laid in his arms and listened to his heartbeat and story-telling of our past as per my request.The way he spoke was like he was recalling everything as though it was playing right before his eyes or as if he was reliving it.I teased him about but he just smiled and claimed that—quote on quote— every
*3 years later*Xander's P.O.VI look up from my laptop to see Lucia leaning against my doorframe.It's crazy how she's grown up to look nearly the exact replica of her sister."Hey."I close the device and give her my full attention. "Hi."She scratches her head and gives me a nervous smile, "I-" She stutters as someone behind her clears her throat."We were hoping we could ask you for something." I raise an eyebrow."Well, I'm moving out to college in a few weeks and it's nearly uhm Rosie's memorial day, and we were hoping we could get some things that belonged to Rosaleigh. For memories?"My heart stops for a moment before it continues its job."Haven't you already been doing that for the past three years?" I try to laugh it off even though it's pissed me off every time.Although, Rosie was her sister and she deserves something just as much as I'd love to have kept everything of hers to myself.She hasn't moved things around, I'm grateful for that."I have and I would have continue
"Xander, man. Open up!" It's Nic. I wonder why he's here."The children are with Julia. Open up brother. What is going on?" he asks, I haven't moved in hours.Qaia is asleep in my arms, her face reminds me so much of Rosie's."If you don't open up the door, I am going to break in." Nic announces, he can't but I don't want him hurting Qaia when the door cracks from the impact, so I stand up and unlock it.He walks in, "you look fucked up." He comments the moment his eyes land on me.I don't respond. I don't have the energy to. "What's wrong man? You've got the kids all worried. And where is Ros-" his sentence dies off when he looks at the bed."Fuck." Tears well up in my eyes again.He pulls my head towards his and connects our forehead, "I'm so sorry." Tears are strolling down both our faces. "I-I don't know what happened. Noelle told me she wasn't breathing and... I just shut down. She can't be gone, Nicholas." I sob harder."I know, man, I know. I'm so sorry." His voice is soft,
*Two hours later*"Congratulations, Mr. and Mrs. Grey, it's a healthy baby girl."No words can explain the feeling that is spreading throughout my body. My heart feels so... I just don't know how to describe it.Rosie and I connect eyes, I can see the pure bliss going on behind them like a storm of some sorts, tears stream down her face, and I lean over to wipe them off."You did it, mariposa." I kiss her forehead. Our baby girl's cries fill the entire room, I throw my shirt off and accept her small frame. "8 pounds and 10 ounces," he tells me.Her face is reddened as she cries out, I sit beside Rosie and hand her over. Rosie starts to hiccup as silent tears stream down her face. She runs her finger over our baby's face."Shh-shh baby, mommy and daddy are here." she whispers, looking up at me. She cries even more when she sees me. She reaches out with one hand and wipes away the tears I didn't know I was shedding."We did it," I smile.We hold her for a while longer until the docto
After the heart to heart, if I can call it that, Xander took the pills and fell asleep. I, on the other hand, could not.I sat for hours just staring at him, so many times his face morphed from peace to anguish and from anguish to peace. It hurt me.My heart was broken. It still is.When dawn started to settle in, I spent my time on his laptop till full sunrise. I read up on the email he'd been reading, and a part of me felt guilty for not wanting to take the chemo.The other part of me was still insistent on not taking it. It would be a miserable play for all parties, I know from experience.I felt horrible for being happy and recalling all my favorite memories to my dad when all he could do was lay in his bed, hooked on machines. I ended up getting emotional and stressed, so I shut the laptop and began the day. To get my mind off everything, I had a virtual tour of the institute, then had an interior designer meet me at the house to discuss.After that, I spent time with Noelle as
"I think it's a girl. Only she can allow you to eat something like that," I freeze, my wrap just about to dip into my McShake.Ice cream turned into more cravings.I give him a deadly look, which has him laughing out loud. "She'll be an exact replica of you. She'll have your smile, your hair, your eyes, and your laugh. She's going to break many hearts because she won't be allowed to date until we're the same age." He smiles, I giggle."So, never?" He kisses my forehead."She'll have your smarts too," I finish my shake and turn to him."Well I for one, know it's going to be a boy. He'll have my hair color with your teenage curls. Everything else about him will be yours, his facial features; his voice, his eyes. Maybe he'll be lean," I shrug.His eyes hold suspicion in them, "So Jeremiah Fisher is out of the picture?"Shocked, I playfully slap his arm. "Firstly, that was one time. Secondly, that wouldn't be a bad idea either. Either way I—"Everything I ate in the last hour comes up my
Despite my wishes to keep my birthday small and at home, Xander thought otherwise, and by otherwise, I mean:He bought a private island near the Maldives, we didn't stay at it because it was barren, but we did go to it and suggested that we name it and soon talk to designers, for a beach house.A virtual meeting with a Hermès designer for a custom Kelly bag, I don't know how he did it, but he did. To say I was lost would be an understatement, Xander just laughed at me when i didn't know what to answer when it came to the leather types.He took me shopping, obviously, skiing, and I tried surfing but failed profusely. Xander, on the other hand, looked like Gabriel Medina at his best.There's nothing this man can't do.We spent a day at the villa and gave each other massages and watched movies.I loved those three days, but when we came back to the United States, I realized that I love being home rather than being away, or maybe it just has something to do with being around the girls.I
The next couple of months pass by in a blur, a week after the Logan topic we spent a couple of days in New Zealand for Xander's birthday.In June we finally got to building the institute, it's still a working progress as we speak.In the same month, I don't know what strings Xander pulled but Shane Grey signed over the rights of the company over to Xander with no argument. We celebrated just the two of us together.Ever since that day, Logan and Sophia never got in contact, she finally decided to go see the psychiatrist I recommended her. She was broken when he'd cut contact but as time passed she started to seem more like herself as Xander said.We celebrated Lucia's birthday at Disneyland late June.July fourth we finally took Rosander on a joyride if you can call it that, I think we all enjoyed the night. Xander and Julio put their differences aside for that day and even chatted among themselves, including Nic, as they all sa
His body stiffens for a minute but he continues to walk around like it doesn't affect him, it does."Yes, I guess you've missed out on a lot haven't you? While you were slowly killing a defenseless woman, I was trying to pay for our father's chemo and trying to save our brother from rotting in prison for something he never did." I let the words settle in."Well didn't you do a great job at that?" He chuckles dryly, anger bubbles in me.I walk up to him and stare him down, he doesn't shy away. "What happened to you? The James I know would have never hit a woman or abandoned his family," He chuckles again, "You mean the family that is slowly dying one by one?""That is no excuse James! I thought I could rely on you, even if you disappeared occasionally you would always pull through, but I guess you were too busy weren't you?" "What I do with my life does not concern you," disgust flows through every vein in my body.I ca
The constant beep of the heart monitor is silent.The bed is empty.The entire room is silent.My mind doesn't bother to find any reasoning, and my heart beats achingly.He's gone.There's no going back, and I have to accept it.Of course I cried, he's my father. Whether or not he's alive, he will always be, and he left with a piece of my heart; all of our hearts.A week after we came back to L.A., he left us, and a week later, we buried him next to our mother's grave.I broke down, became sick, grieved, and then I pulled myself together for my sisters.That was over two months ago. My heart still aches for my father, but it's dulled. It was time. He got his last wish, I got married.Lucia has gotten better, I'm happy that it didn't take that much of a toll on her as compared to mom's death.We've moved into the new house, the kids love it. Xander and I love it.Being back though has separated us for a while, he's been stuck in piles of work and complications with his father.Despite