4| The lion and the deer

PARIS

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“Paris, what do you mean by torture you for 20 years?” As soon as the words left from Alex, I realized I said it in front of him. Before things could get suspicious and it becomes evident that I am lying I said, “I meant hating me for all this time, you know how much I hate being hated upon.” I smiled sadly at him.

“Ah I see. My sensitive little baby sister, don’t worry, I will talk to Felix about this.” He ruffed my hair with a smile. I never want to be the reason Alex loses his best friend. No matter how much he tortured me, Felix always treated Alex like a sane person would their child. He took care of hm when he was sick, he would cook for him, make sure he slept on time, be his shoulder to cry on and turn the world upside down for him.

I know it was wrong of me to hit Felix but all the anger I had built up against him just rushed out. I could lose my job but I don’t care about that right now. I am capable enough of finding a work place for myself, if not then I might as well contact the modelling agencies that are desperate to have me.

Alex and Amanda just talked for hours and hours, smiling and fooling around as I typed out a few emails, I took a work from home leave for the day which Felix happily granted. I got a message from Mr. Gray asking if I knew anything about the scar on his face. After him asking that I realized I was wearing two rings on my hands, they may have scratched his face when I slapped him.

Carl Jung once said, “A healthy man does not torture others--- generally it is the tortured who turn into torturers.” I took his word for it as a child because whatever happened to Felix in the first 7 years of his life must’ve traumatized him, it would’ve hurt him more than he could hurt me. I thought that and excused everything he did to me.

But I can’t seem to do that anymore. The excuse feels too old to be used now.

Often when people believe in someone, it takes a long time to lose the trust, it kills them to believe in something else. I just happened to be facing it not two weeks ago. It wasn’t just the humiliation on my first day it was the fact that he sent Rafael for this. I couldn’t believe he would do something like this for something so small, I had encountered Rafael only 3 times in my life, first time, when there were rumors about me losing my virginity to Felix’s rival. Second, when my parents died and third was a few weeks ago. Every time I have encountered him, I got 20 times closer to losing my sanity. For me, right now, Alex is the only thing holding me back from losing my mind.

“Paris?” Amanda called me. I looked up at her and smiled back to her small comforting smile.

“Can I ask you something sweetheart?”

“Sure Amie.”

“Why didn’t you tell Alex the truth?”

“Would you complain about a lion hunting a deer?”

“No.”

“I didn’t either. Felix is the lion running after me to hunt me down. I am only scared that if I stop running and hide, he will start chasing the rabbit. I can’t save myself and sacrifice the rabbit, so I’ll keep running, even if I get tired, even if I am on the verge of death. I will do my best, to save the rabbit.”

She sighed and said, “Stop running Paris, nothing will happen to the rabbit if you stop. The lion loves the rabbit.”

“You can’t say that here or right now. I know the lion loves the rabbit but the lion hates me more than it loves the rabbit. So, I am not sure if I can stop.”

“Don’t end up dying. Okay?”

“Don’t you think it is better that I do end up dying? What would you prefer? Life that can be considered hell or a death you prepare for yourself?”

“I don’t know. But I hope that something or someone will turn your hell of a life around.”

***

After I was sure that I could leave the hospital, I made my way to Joshua’s house to return their bike. I was embarrassed that I asked such a big favor from strangers. There was something about Josh’s parents that felt. . . known? Something about them felt similar. I couldn’t point a finger to it but there was something that made me feel close to them. As if a piece of them was around me in my life but I didn’t notice.

“Thank you so much sir.” I thanked Mr. Knight for the bike. He smiled at me and nodded. He probably doesn’t talk much.

“Sweetie! Lunch is served.” Mrs. Knight screamed from the entrance. “Oh! Paris. Dear would you like to join us for lunch?”

“Uh, no thank you ma’am. I have to return to work.”

“My! My! Darling, don’t work so much, you’ll get sick. Come on in, eat and go back to work. I am not taking no for an answer now.” She held my hand and led me inside. Joshua was in his room, playing video games and eating.

She helped me to the dinning table. Their house was marvelous. There was a chandelier hanging from the ceiling in their living room. The interior and exterior looked really expensive. The floor almost looked like it was made out of glass. They had a ballroom and swimming pool that could fit my apartment in a corner of it and still look big.

“Here darling. Eat up.” Mrs. Knight handed me a plate full of lasagna.

“Ma’am this is too much. I can’t even eat the half of this.”

“Sure, you can!”

“Ma’am please. I am not used to eating much.”

“Okay! Explains why you’re so thin.” She pouted and took the plate away.

After lunch, I stayed with them for a while and we just talked like a child would with their parents. It felt like I was talking to mom dad. I looked at my watch and realized I only had 30 minutes till the last meeting for the German dealers started. Thankfully the tree of Paris was just 5 minutes’ walk from here. I bid them all a goodbye and walked towards the tree and took my car from there. I rushed towards the office and reached within 15 minutes. The files were all perfectly fine. I rushed till Mr. Gray’s office. “The . . . files. . .. for. . .. today’s …. meeting…. Give…… to……. Mr.………. Hernan……” My head dropped at his desk as I caught my breath. I tried to talk properly but running up from the ground floor to the 19^th floor because you basically have no time is the worst kind of torture.

“Wow kid. Here, drink up.” Mr. Gray handed me a bottle of water. “T-

“Just drink.”

I showed him an okay sign with my hand and gulped down almost all of the water. “Slowly. You’ll end up choking if you force it all in.”

I nodded my head and continued to drink the rest of the water.

“Sir.” Mr. Gray stood up out of nowhere, scaring me to death. I choked on water and coughed my f---ing guts out.

I looked back as soon as I caught my breath and I gasped as I saw the scene in front of me.

“WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE?”