"1"

Karinna watched in horror as nurses pace back and forth inside the intensive care unit. It's been four hours since the operation. The bullet had been successfully removed, but the damage had been underestimated. They didn't expect this kind of hemorrhage. Hindi na niya bilang kung ilang nurse ang naglabas pasok sa Room at tuwing may naririnig siyang sigaw na CODE BLUE ay para siyang mamamatay sa sobrang sakit na dulot ng matinding kirot sa dibdib nya. She remained quiet, faint sobs and shaking hands from fear and guilt.

Dapat ako yun. Dapat ako. Dapat ako! Patuloy niyang sinisigaw sa sarili.

"Karinna." Nanginginig ang boses ni Adda nung tinawag niya ang kanyang kaibigan. "I called his family. They booked tickets and said they're coming as soon as they can. Lovelia and the other naman are doing their best to help the detectives Para umpisahan na ang Investigation."

Tumango lang si Karinna at napatingin sa damit nyang punong puno ng dugo. Vince's blood. "Hindi to totoo." She whispered, her voice filled with remorse and disbelief. "Niloloko lang tayo ni Vince, diba?" She smiled but her eyes suggested otherwise. "Hindi to totoo, Adda. Hindi ito totoo!" She cried in pain, tears began to fall down again. It's coming again, it's consuming her. Dapat ako nalang. Paulit-ulit nyang sinisigaw sa utak hanggang mahulog na sya sa upuan kakaiyak at bumagsak ang tuhod sa sahig. "Vince naman kasi eh! You didn't have to save me!"

Adda tried her hardest to keep her best friend from doing something erratic and irrational. She has to remain strong. "Karinna." Muling iyak ni nya habang pinipispisan ang ulo ng dalagang akap nya. "He'll be fucking okay, okay?! He's strong. Vincent Visencio is strong. Wag kang ganyan. Get the fuck up!"

*****

Torturous hours had passed, turning into days. A month and a half passed by so quickly, and not even an inch of progress has been made. Nurses are still changing gauze after gauze. The wound may have healed but the bleeding just won't stop, the bullet penetrated and the damage it caused was too deep. Different kinds of apparatus are attached on the almost lifeless man's body just to keep him alive, and everyone close to him watches from afar as anonymous faces try their best to prevent the man from truly dying.

"Putang ina ano ba naman to!" Sigaw ni Bernadette at nagdabog sa waiting area kung saan nandoon ang buong pamilya ni Vince. "Magpalit na tayo ng doctor!"

"Don't be stupid, Bernadette. Let's face it, almost two months na syang ganyan. Even doctors warned us from the start na ihanda na ang sarili natin, diba?" Emmanuel replied with much emotion as he did before. He's not insensitive, this is as hard for him as it is for them. Hindi madaling mawalan ng kapatid, pero mas hindi madaling gampanan ang pagiging panganay. Lalo na at unti-unting nawawala sa katinuan ang kanyang mga kapatid at nanay, the stress had been too much. "The more we try to hold on to him, the more he will suffer."

"So ano, hahayaan na lang natin siyang mamatay?!"

Pilit na itinatago at palihim na pinupunasan ng iba pang kapamilya ni Vince ang kanilang luha. All of them remained quiet and only listened to the never ending banter of Emmanuel and Bernadette. Especially Rosario, she can't even look straight at her son. The once full of life boy that she cradled in her arms is now dying, and it kills her every time the doctor would remind them that it's almost time.

"So... so when? Kelan nila ito-turn-off ang mga machines?" Rosario's question was almost as silent as whisper pero narinig parin to ng magkapatid. Her eyes dreadfully loomed on her son who was lying on the bed. She stood up from her seat and slowly approached him, and when she was close enough she placed a soft, gentle kiss on his forehead. Lingering. Longing... for a miracle. "Kelan nila tuluyang papatayin ang kapatid nyo?"

And then she couldn't hold it any longer. Ibinuhos na nya lahat ng naipong sakit. Lahat ng luha na pilit nyang pigilan dahil iniisip nya na baka may pag-asa. Na baka imulat pa ni Tutoy ang kanyang mga mata. Sometimes hope is all we have, and when all we have is lost, that's when we start to fall apart.

Bernadette rushed to her side and hugged her, hushed her and told her that it's going to be okay. Emmanuel remained frozen, unmoving and lost in his own thoughts.

"Three more hours, Mama. Then they'll take him to surgery... Vince always wanted to save lives, organ donor for a dying man." Ritzel answered, pamangkin ni Vince na kasa-kasama ni Bernadette at Emmanuel sa pag-aasikaso simula't sapul. She noticed how everyone began to mourn again. "Tito Vince had always wanted to help people, I think... to the least, we should honor his last wish."

"Pwede ba, let's not talk about this. He's not dead yet." Biglang sangat ni Jennylyn, ang pang-apat na kapatid ni Vince. "Wala bang mas magandang hospital? Let's ask for second, third or even fourth opinion. Kahit sa states."

"At hayaan siyang mamatay sa Airplane?! Jenn, mag-isip ka naman! Hindi pa tuluyang nagsasara ang sugat nya. Are you that stupid?!" Sigaw ni Bernadette sa kanyang kapatid.

"I'd rather have my brother dying on a plane rather than his body opened up and dissected like a pig."

Hindi na nakaya ni Rosa tanggapin ang mga naririnig nya. Nagpumiglas sya at tumakbo papalayo kay Bernadette at lumabas ng pinto. Agad namang sinundan ito ni Bot, ang pag-aalala nya para sa ina at sa kanyang kapatid at mas tumindi. Dumoble.

Everyone inside the room was like a ticking time bomb. One wrong move, one more bad news, another dreadful announcement and someone will explode... and then...

Tuloy ang pagngangatngat ni Angela sa kanyang kuko, dala ng sobrang kaba sa isang favor na pakiusap sa kanya. "Kuya Emmanuel... alam kong hindi ako dapat mangialam."

"Alam mo pala eh, then don't even start with me."

Napalunok si Angela at pilit na nilakasan ang loob. "Ate, pina-kiusap lang nila ito sakin. Gusto lang talaga daw nya makita si Sir Vincent... Huling pagkakataon nya na po."

From staring at Angela as they listened, now everyone was looking at Emmanuel. "Nya? Sino sya?"

Muling bumilis ang tibok ni Angela. Alam nyang galit lahat ang kapamilya ni Vince dito. They blamed her for everything, even she blamed herself. "Si... si ano po, si Ate Karinna po."

"Ang lakas naman ng loob nya!" Emmanuel screamed, as he began to experience the same emotional Rollercoaster as he did right after he and his family found out about the accident. It was she who was supposed to die, not his brother. "Pumunta siya dito at hindi na sya makakalabas ng buhay, I swear to God!"

"Hindi lang po si Ate Karinna. Pati po sina Miss Adda, at sina Sir Billy. Pati daw po sina Kimberly."

Emmanuel's blood began to boil upon hearing his brother's former employees and co-workers. Bakit ngayon pa sila bibisita? Bakit ngayon lang kung kailan ilang oras na lang eh mawawala na si Vincent.

At first he accepted everything, he continuously preached to himself na hindi nila ginusto ang nangyari. No one prayed for it. No one expected it. He had no bad blood with them, but that was until he saw how happy they were. How they continued living, working, smiling and laughing while his beloved brother was slowly deteriorating.

It killed him every single day, knowing how the people involved had slowly seemed to forget and moved on. Dumalaw sila isang beses lang. A Day after their family arrived in Manila, and after that... they seem to have forgotten.

"Sabihin mo sa kanila, wala silang karapatan! Ang kapal ng mga mukha nila! Pagkatapos nilang talikuran ang kapatid ko, ngayon pa?! Where were they nuong sinabi ng doctor na twenty percent nalang ang chance na mabuhay pa ang kapatid ko, diba, they're enjoying their fucking lives! Ni hindi man lang nagawang bumisita! Tell them to go fuck theirsel---"

"Emmanuel!" Sigaw ni Rosario sa kanya na nakikinig pala sa sigawan nila ni Angela. "You have no right to stop anyone from visiting Vince. They have every bit of right as you or I."

"But, ma!"

"Stop it!" Muling pasigaw na sagot ni Rosa sa kanya. "Sa tingin mo magiging masaya ang kapatid mo sa inaasal mo? He's as important to us as he is to them! Don't be selfish and stop thinking of your own selfish wishes. May mga sariling buhay at pamilya din silang binubuhay so don't think of their love for Vince to be lesser than yours or mine." Tumingin si Rosa kay Angela na biglang natameme at napipi sa mga naririnig nya.

"Don't just sit there..." Panimulang pangungusap ni Rosa dito. "...tell them to come, and hurry."

Angela nodded and immediately followed her instructions. She picked up her phone and texted Adda to come by as quickly as she could.

"I can't believe you." Emmanuel harshly whispered to Rosa as he walked away from the room with a dark and dangerous glare in his eyes. He shut the door with much ferocity that it banged against the door frame a few times before completely closing.