All of my friends had known about Gray getting engaged, but none of them wanted to be the one to share that tidbit with me. When I brought it up to Lynn and Jenny, they both indicated they knew, but were afraid of how I would take the news. They thought it would be easier for me to handle hearing it from Brett. I didn't ask Lynn about the timeframe for Gray leaving his wife. There's no way she couldn't have known, but at this point, it didn't matter. Starting an argument over something that took place three years ago wouldn't change any of it. And Gray wasn't worth losing a friend over. She'd proven herself time and again since then-I believed that was more important.It dawned on me how fragile my friends all believed I was. I guess in retrospect, that was what I had portrayed to them in the months after Gray and I split, but damn, that was a long time ago. I thought my progress had been as visible outwardly as it felt inwardly, but I guess sometimes it takes longer for other people
Three months to the day after he had proposed, Gray was in a church in Easley, South Carolina on a gorgeous September day. I pictured him standing there waiting for the ceremony to begin and imagined how dapper he'd look in a tuxedo. I had desperately wanted to go with Brett, had even talked to my psychiatrist about it, but in the end, my doctor and I agreed I had no business being there. Brett left an hour ago in a beautiful gray suit, and I hoped he hadn't seen the sadness in my eyes when he hugged me. This was the ending of an era. This was the final culmination of several pivotal years of my life. Gray was marrying another woman. I wanted him to be happy and have all his dreams come true, but it was a bitter pill to swallow that it was someone else. I didn't want Gray the way I had two years ago, but I had always wanted Gray to want me back. The thought that I would get to reject him at some point had carried me through some really low times, but this would end that sadistic fant
My fiancé left the room long before I finished getting dressed. Damn, he looked dashing in his tuxedo: impeccably groomed, not a single hair out of place, clean-shaven, and his eyes were bright as he told me he would meet me at the altar. Six months ago, when I'd gotten the call from Gray at the church, I'd never imagined I'd be here now. Chills ran across my skin as I swooned for the man whose last name I was about to take, and I thought about the journey that had gotten us here. I watched the door close behind him and prepared myself to meet my destiny. With one final glance in the mirror, I was pleased with my reflection. Lynn had shown me how to style my hair in a twisted formal up-do. Large, voluptuous curls hung conspicuously in random places softening the overall look, and little tendrils caressed my face in a delicate embrace. I kept the makeup light, highlighting my eyes and cheekbones, and finished my face with a natural matte lipstick. The dress he had picked out for me
Lynn: Your man tells me you're alone & in need of a night out until he can get to you tomorrowMe: BoooooooLynn: I'll be there in an hour. Put on a flirty dress. We'll go pretend we're loaded at a high-end restaurant downtownMe: Really Lynn? Lynn: Hell yes. He's buying & we have no spending limit. See you in an hour.Me: ...okLynn was right on time. It was hard not to laugh when we reached the street, and I saw her dad's Mercedes. "You really are playing this one up, aren't you?" "Hey, it's not every day someone else's man gives you a carte blanche spending limit to take his girlfriend out on the town and entertain her. My dad offered the car, so I took it, as I did your boyfriend's money. Stop worrying about it and have fun." She slid her sunglasses down her nose and walked like Jessica Rabbit toward the car. Her fabulous ruby-colored dress hugged her cute figure in all the right places, cinching her tummy, downplaying her enormous breasts, and drawing her into a perfect
It had been several hours since Brett left for the wedding. Gray's wife...fiancée...whatever she was now, had sent out invitations; she'd invited everyone at the distribution center. Brett felt obligated to go since he and Gray had worked together in management for years. He thought it was the right thing to do, and not showing up would send a negative impression to the rest of the staff. I didn't disagree, but I had wanted to go with him. But after talking to my counselor, I couldn't come up with a single productive reason for my presence. And in the end, it had been the right decision. Had I been in the church when he called, had he been able to physically reach me, things might have gone differently than they had. I didn't want to be with Gray, but I wasn't dumb enough to believe he didn't still have some weird power over me-just like I wasn't sure I could ever be near drugs again. Both were addictions, and both wreaked havoc on my life for far too many years.I replayed the phone
Twenty-four hours before the weddingTypically, it's the bride, who gets so excited in anticipation of her wedding day, she can't sleep. I had never been geared that way; however, Brett apparently was. I had no trouble sleeping and nerves about the big day hadn't hit me. Brett, on the other hand, had been running around like he was jacked up on coke. We had to leave for the airport early in the morning, and he'd been darting all over the house double checking our bags, loading the car, making sure he had our passports. The list was endless. I loved the man, but he needed to calm down before I became nervous and jittery. I'd tried for the last hour to get him to come to bed to no avail; it was time to pull out all the stops. I wanted my man in my bed, so I could curl up next to him and go to sleep. He refused to join me, so I went to him-naked. Stripped bare, I left a pile of clothes on the bedroom floor and crept down the stairs. He was in the kitchen getting the coffee ready to br
There weren't many people on the plane, but there could have been a massive horde, and I wouldn't have known it. I was asleep on Brett's shoulder before they pulled up the landing gear. I woke to the stewardess instructing me to put my seat upright and prepare for landing. Wiping the drool from my mouth, I gazed up at Brett to see the look of adoration he always showed me. Smiling, I acknowledged just how grateful I was that fate intervened with better plans than those I had for myself-I'd been given the perfect partner.The terminal was bustling with people. I couldn't help but notice the way women stared at Brett and glanced down to our intertwined hands. They didn't even try to mask the looks of disbelief as they scowled their judgment in my direction. I had no problem admitting, Brett and I did not look like a matched pair. Brett could've graced the cover of GQ, while I would've been better suited for Rolling Stone. He was breathtakingly beautiful with piercing-green eyes while I
She'd held out on me for over a year, but the reward was well worth the wait-Annie was insatiable. We had fooled around. She took care of me and kept me interested but always escorted me out the door when things got too heavy while we were dating. Initially, I hadn't known the specifics, but I knew her issues ran deep. Then add Gray's shit show to her life, and there was no way she wouldn't have needed time. The more I got to know her, the more of her life she revealed to me, the more surprised I became when she finally did open up. I knew she was inexperienced in terms of the number of players in her game, but we never discussed the intricacies of how she involved herself in the sport or the depth of her playbook. I got a hint, glimpsed it the night she moaned after I spanked her. Expecting her to jump, or possibly even yell, the cry of pleasure was a shock, and I sure as hell didn't know a woman could soak her panties with a smack on the ass. Our honeymoon was a period of explorati