Chapter 1 | Friendships

Lux

I’m sitting near my favorite spot by the waterfall. The grass feels softer over here. I love the smell of the fresh water and the sounds all around me. From the water falling, to the birds tweeting, and occasionally hearing the families in our pack going for a stroll. They always greet me with a happy, “Hello princess!”

I don’t know if they do it to be polite or to make sure I’m aware of their presence since I can’t see them. Either way, I appreciate that they say hello. On the days I’m lucky, one of the kids will come and bring me a flower or a cool rock or leaf they saw while they were on their walk. It always makes my day and warms my heart at these kind little actions. I always bring them home with me because my mom has helped me create an entire wall full of these little collections. Although I don’t know what they look like, I love to gently run my hand over the different textures and to smell all the outdoor scents.

As someone comes near me, I can hear leaves crunching and twigs snapping. I take in a deep breath to see if I can place the scent, but my eyebrows furrow when I smell nothing. I feel a hand on my arm and suddenly tingles go down my body and I know whoever this is that they must be my mate.

I take in another deep breath, desperate to learn what their intoxicating scent is, but I still can’t smell a thing! What is going on? Mom and dad always said that’s one of the first things you’ll notice about your mate!

I hear his voice and it gives me chills, but... not in the good way. Not in the way I’ve always heard that it’s supposed to make you feel. His voice makes me want to cringe as he tells me, “My, my, I got the princess as a mate. And you’re gorgeous too. And since you can’t see, I guess you’ll have to submit to me in every way.” His hand wraps around my neck and he squeezes it lightly as he asks, “Won’t you, my pet?”

I gasp as I sit up, and I take deep breaths. The familiar scents fill my nose and I grip my bedsheets and realize that I’m in my bedroom. It was just another nightmare. I touch my neck, still thinking I could feel a hand over it, but there’s no hand there. Just my regular neck.

I’ve been having these nightmares like five times a week for about a month now. My eighteenth birthday is coming up, and that means the chance of meeting my mate.

My nightmares constantly consist of being abused, raped, rejected, tortured, whatever you can think of. It’s my worst fear that I won’t have a mate that will truly love me for who I am.

My subconscious is obviously nervous. It’s hard to trust that people don’t want me for my title as princess or because they think I’m weak because of my disability. It makes me wonder if it is my wolf who is so nervous.

I’m not like normal werewolves. I’m royalty, and that means I am a gemstone wolf. All royals have eyes that look like gemstones and once they have marked and mated their mate, then the mate’s eyes will change to reflect their shift in power.

Only people with the royal bloodline have gemstone eyes, and from what I’ve been told, my eyes look like opals. Every gemstone wolf has a special ability, but you don’t know what it is until it happens. On top of being a gemstone wolf, I am blind. No one really knows why- it’s rare in our world for a werewolf to have this kind of disability. My mom thinks I was using my ability while I was in the womb and that it stunted my development. But, we have no proof of this and I haven’t been able to use my ability since.

The thing that makes me really odd, though, is that I’ve had my wolf since I was five. Her name is Kodi, and she forced me to shift so that way she could help me learn how to be blind and capable in our world. She doesn’t come out often and we rarely talk, but she’s always here with me. And she helped my senses be extremely heightened from a very early age, so I appreciate her more than I can explain.

I hear my door open, and I take a breath and recognize the fresh cut grass scent and know that it’s my brother coming to check on me. As twins, we have an intuition and can always recognize when the other isn’t okay.

He’s been doing this constantly, coming into my room to help me settle from my nightmares.

I feel the bed dip and he pulls me towards him and my head ends up on a pillow in his lap as he plays with my hair. He sighs as he braids my hair and he asks, “Another nightmare, Lux?” 

I murmur, “Yeah.”

The nightmares bother me. I hate talking about it because I hate that I have these fears.

“You want to talk about it?”

“I’m fine, Kai, just a rough night.”

“You know, it’s not common for a man to treat his mate poorly.” He attempts to reassure me.

I mutter, “I guess.”

“Come on, let’s get ready and get some breakfast. Do you want a dress or pants or what today?” I open my mouth to speak when I hear a knock on my door, and it immediately opens up as three new scents come in. The scents that belong to Calvin, David, and Silas, the sons of the Royal Beta and Royal Gamma. Calvin is our future Royal Gamma, and he has a very clean scent, almost like he just came out of the shower all the time.

David is one of our future Royal Betas. He and Silas are twin brothers and it has always been understood that they would both take the Royal Beta title and responsibility when the transition of power happens. David smells like sandalwood and his twin brother, Silas, smells like the ocean. 

Growing up together, the five of us became a close-knit group. My brother Kai and I have the best connection, obviously because he is my twin and just seems to understand me better than anyone else. David is the one that always gives the best advice, Calvin is very protective of all of us, and Silas... well, he’s my best friend. 

It’s hard to explain what it is with Silas, but he’s just always there for me. He pushes me to my limits in a good way. He won’t let me think of myself as weak, and he works with me to make me feel like I’m capable of anything.

I can smell that Silas’s scent gets stronger as he walks over to my bed and he pats my leg and says, “What do you wanna wear today, Lux?”

I can hear Kai’s annoyance as he says, “I was going to pick out her outfit today.”

Silas huffs, “You always pick out her outfit. You can let one of us do it for a change.”

The two of them bicker and I notice that David and Calvin’s scent moves further away and after a couple of minutes they walk back towards us making their scents stronger and Calvin asks, “Are shorts okay with you, Lu?”

I nod, “Yeah, shorts are fine.”

Silas and Kai both grumble about how they wanted to pick my outfit and I roll my eyes in amusement. You would think that I’m their personal doll that they can dress however they want.

I take the clothes from Calvin and walk to my bathroom to get dressed. I can hear the boys all talking, so I know they’re not leaving until I’m ready for breakfast so that they can help escort me down the stairs.

They’re so overprotective, but I’m used to it now. As I walk out of my room, Silas comes over and takes my arm and leads me out the door and towards the stairs with the rest of our group not far behind us.

As we take our seats at the dining table, I take a deep breath to see if our parents are here yet. I don’t smell any of their scents, but I shrug it off. They’ll be here, none of them are known for missing a meal.

I hear as plates get set in front of us and then the big plates of each dish get set in the middle of the table. I know that one of the boys will get my plate ready, so I sit and wait.

I notice the tropical scent enter the room and I know it’s my mom. Quickly, other scents come in and soon we’re surrounded by all our families. I hear my mom say excitedly, “Oh, kids, your grandparents are coming into town this weekend! They plan to stay till after your eighteenth birthday, so please be sure to be on your best behavior!”

Kai clarifies, “All of our grandparents?”

My dad responds, “Of course, son.”

This means our pack house will be busier than usual for the next month, but it should be fun. I have three grandmas: Sandee is my dad’s mom, Dani is my mom’s adoptive mom, and Camille is her biological mother. They all love to pamper me and take me shopping, out for pedicures, and to get my hair styled. They want to make sure I always feel my best, although I have no clue what I look like.

I only have two grandpas. My dad’s father died long before I was even born, so we only have my mom’s adoptive dad, Rich, and her biological dad, Carter. Both of them like to take me out into nature on long walks as they talk to me. It’s always very therapeutic to be around them, and I love hearing about their lives. It’s so interesting learning about their history and learning more about my parents.

I’m a little nervous about them coming this time. I know my grandmas will want to talk about my future mate and what I hope he’ll be like. But right now, because of these recurring nightmares, I’m terrified to meet him.

Silas

I look over at Lux and watch as she picks at her plate. She has a nervous energy and I know it’s because of her nightmares.

She’s embarrassed that she has them and has only confided in me and Kai. I wish I could calm her concerns. I wish I was her mate so that she would never have to worry again about whether she’ll be treated right.

The five of us have always been close, but there’s something about Lux that has always made me drawn to her. As kids, everyone seemed to shut her down and make her live in a bubble, but I didn’t do that. She was a kid just like the rest of us and she deserved to have fun too!

I started sneaking into her room at night and we would go outside and play tag or do whatever she wanted. Those nights when it was just the two of us were the best. Over time, all I wanted to do was be in her presence. 

Now that I think of them, all I want to do is have some time alone with her. 

Once we all get done with breakfast, I walk over to her and ask, “Do you want to go for a walk?” 

She smiles brightly at me and nods. I take her arm and lead her out the back door and head towards her favorite trail that leads to the waterfall.

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t hoping for Lux to be my mate. She is the most gorgeous girl I’ve ever laid my eyes on. Because she’s royalty and all royals have gemstone eyes, her eyes are the color of a gemstone. And my goodness, her opal eyes are breathtaking. They change colors based on the lighting and just captivate you. Her dark brown hair hits below her waist when it’s straightened, and just below her shoulders when it’s in its natural curls. Lux has the cutest little button nose and perfect heart-shaped lips that would give the best smile. She has one dimple on her right cheek and little freckles all along her face and her chest and shoulders. She is outside all the time, and it caused those beautiful freckles... yeah, I have it bad for her. I always have. Ever since we were little kids, I looked for opportunities to be her knight in shining armor, always wanting to be near her and impress her.

I hate that she’s not my mate. I have the smallest bit of hope that maybe when she turns 18 that suddenly we’ll both feel the mate bond. But when I told my dad about my hopes, he squashed them and told me it was highly unlikely. Especially because Lux has technically already shifted. If we were mates, then we should’ve known about it a long time ago.

I suppose he is right, but you can’t blame a guy for hoping, right?

I’m just grateful Calvin and David didn’t feel a mate bond with her, either. I don’t think they feel that way about her, but it would’ve shattered me if one of them was her mate and I wasn’t.

I hear her talking, but I was too lost in my own thoughts to hear what she’s saying. I say, “I’m sorry, Lux, I spaced out. What did you say?”

She giggles at me and shakes her head, making her curls bounce all around her. She says, “You know, you’ve been spacing out a lot lately. What are you thinking about?”

Her. I’m always thinking about her. I’m always thinking about how I want to make her mine.

But I can’t tell her that. It would ruin our friendship if I did. So, I respond, “Just... a lot of life changes are happening right now. It’s constantly on my mind.” She nods solemnly, and she says, “I hope my mate isn’t an Alpha or anything. I don’t want to be taken away from our pack.” 

I honestly never thought about the fact she might get taken away. Her brother was going to be the one taking the throne, so it didn’t really matter what rank his mate was because his rank would trump hers. But because Lux wouldn’t take the throne, it wouldn’t matter who she was mated to. If she was mated to an Alpha or even a Beta or a Gamma, then she would have to leave our pack and join someone else’s. My heart hurts at the thought of her being so far away.

I respond, “You don’t need to worry about that, Lux. I’m sure everything will be fine and whoever the moon goddess has destined for you, he’ll be your perfect match.”

I try to force myself to believe the words I’m telling her, but I don’t. Who could be a better match for her than me? Who could treat her better than I could?

She huffs and asks, “What do you look for in a mate, Silas? Do you think I’ll be a suitable mate even though I can’t see?”

I chuckle, “You don’t need to see to be a suitable mate, Lux.”

“I’ll never know if my mate is handsome or what he’ll even look like. I’ll never get to see our children. I can’t cook... not very well or without lots of help, at least. Like, how am I going to anticipate his needs?” 

My eyebrows furrow as I try to think of a way that I can help her and her insecurities. I say, “Maybe there is a way to know what the guy looks like.”

She scoffs, “I’m blind, Silas. I can’t see at all. How will I know what he looks like?” I chuckle and say, “Okay, I’m going to describe myself to you.”

She rolls her eyes. She rarely does this, and I have to stifle a chuckle every time she does. Lux responds as she throws her hands up in the air, “I don’t know colors!”

I smirk and say with amusement laced in my voice, “You don’t know colors, but you know scents. I’m going to describe to you different scents that are associated with different colors. Okay?”

Her little face scrunches up, but she nods as she’s willing to let me try, even if she doubts me. I say, “Okay, I have dark hair with red hints in it. So, think of like the scent of redwood trees- that’s how my hair is.” 

Her nose scrunches up again as she tries to envision what I’m telling her. I continue, “I have blue eyes and blue is like the color of the ocean.”

Her eyebrows raise and her expression seems excited, and she says, “Oh, like your scent!” 

My eyebrows furrow in confusion. No one has ever told me that my scent smelled like the ocean. I ask, “I smell like the ocean?”

She nods and explains, “You smell like the ocean, David smells like sandalwood, Calvin has a very clean scent, kind of like he just took a shower, and Kai smells like fresh cut grass.” Her head tilts to the side as she asks, “What do I smell like?”

I take a deep breath with my eyes closed and focus on her scent and I respond, “Fruit.” I chuckle softly, “You like to be out in the garden where we grow our fruits and vegetables, so it makes sense. Specifically, you smell like watermelon with like a hint of strawberries.”

Knowing this information makes her smile widen, and she says eagerly, “Keep describing what you look like.”

My eyebrows furrow as I try to think of the next step. I say, “My skin tone is pretty tan. It’s hard to describe what scent would seem most like that. Maybe wheat?”

She nods, and I say, “There’s nothing else to really describe my colors. Everything else you would be concerned about in a mate you could feel through touch.”

She asks without a second thought, “Could I touch you?”

If I had a drink, I would’ve choked on it at her request. She means it in such an innocent way. I don’t think she even knows much about sex for her to be sexual about it. I nod nervously, but I realize she can’t see me, so I say, “Y-yeah, you can.”

She asks, “How tall am I?”

“About 5’5 or 5’6.”

She nods, “How tall are you?”

“About a foot taller than you. Is that what you’re wanting to feel?”

She nods, and I stand up and then grab her hands to help her stand and I say, “I’m standing in front of you now. So, you can touch and feel around whatever you want to know.”

My cheeks turn red as she moves her hands up my arms and travels up to my shoulders and then to my neck and to my face and head. She steps closer to me and places her head against my chest as she tries to figure out where her body stops and mine keeps going.

She runs her fingers through my hair as she tries to get an idea of how long it is. It isn’t very long, just long enough to be able to style it a little. Her hand touches my jaw, and she takes one of her hands to touch hers as she tries to compare us. She’s so cute.

Her face is more rounded and softer, while I have sharper features. She feels my square jaw and chin before she moves up to my cheeks. I close my eyes as she runs her hand up to my forehead and her fingers brush over my eyes and down my nose to my lips. I can’t resist as I lightly kiss her fingers.

I see her cheeks turn red as she pulls away and whispers, “Silas.”

I open my mouth to speak when I hear a mind link from my brother, "Hey, man! Time for training. Where are you?"

I huff and tell Lux, “I need to go to training. You want me to help you back to the pack house?”

She shakes her head, “I’m fine. I think I’ll stay here for a little longer. Thanks for helping me, Silas.”

I nod in response, and I tell her, “I’m going to let your mom know that you’re here.”

She nods and turns her back to me as she sticks her feet in the water. I watch her as I back away. I desperately wanted to kiss her. But it was not my time.

She is not mine. She will never be mine, and I need to stop these desires that I have for her.