3 : Freedom

**UNKNOWN**

Completely and utterly sore. That probably isn’t even the best word for it.

My body feels broken. But that’s what happens when you literally work your whole life to make sure you survive in a pack that is supposed to take care of you.

I moan slightly at the minor movements I am making to get to the hot bath I ran myself just now. My five foot four inch frame wasn’t made for this. My long brunette hair is matted and in knots on my shoulders, chunks of hair falling out. I can feel the bruising starting on my neck from being held down. My arms have visible finger bruises, so a long sleeve shirt it shall be today.

Might even need a turtleneck.

I feel one small tear fall from my eyes, I have come accustomed to my life. This isn't the one I wanted. I wanted to wait for my mate. I wanted to feel that unconditional love and adoration that came with a mate. But one thing I have been taught my whole life is I will never get what I want. And what I do get is what I deserve.

I sweep and clean and cook and do laundry all day long for the Alpha of our pack. I prepare the meals for dinner with barely enough food for myself. I don’t go to school. I don’t get money for the work I do.

But I don’t complain. I don’t whimper. Not that it would do me any good. It would only make my situation worse. It would only make my days that much more devastating. My body would hurt more severely, my soul would crumble, and my spirit would die a lot faster than it is now.

But either way, I have over the years found ways to soothe my body and sometimes my mind. Epsom salt bath with wolfsbane extract and a hint of vanilla to soothe me. Not enough to hurt me, but just the right amount to numb me so I can heal. And my mind, I paint. It’s the only thing that is only mine. It’s the only thing I am allowed to do for myself. And I bask in my paintings. Except lately, the only thing I have been able to paint is golden eyes.

And sure, I have tried to run away. Tried to make my grand escape. Got REALLY close last night, I could smell my freedom. My body tingles at the thought of finally being rid of this pack, of this life. Even if that meant being a rogue, living day to day. It would be better than letting my soul perish within these walls.

Last night, I smelled freshly ground coffee on a cool morning with vanilla and cinnamon. My whole body felt this new found freedom, smelt something so mesmerizing that it would never be able to leave my mind but then I was caught.

The Alpha was on patrol and caught me really close to the borders. I lied. Told him I was out getting a run in to keep my body in pristine shape. He laughed and said he appreciated that..

All that did was make my skin crawl.

So here I am, hardly any sleep and I have to be upstairs in an hour so I can get breakfast started for the Alpha. The other omegas in the pack cook for the other ranked members and pack members. But I cook, clean and cater SOLELY to the Alpha. Sure, it helps keep unwanted attention away from me, but it’s not like the attention I am getting now is any good.

‘Soon this will all be over. This won’t be our life much longer.’ My wolf, Darra, whimpered.

‘I tried that, Darra. I tried to get us out of here and It didn’t work. I have no more hope. This will be my life until it’s over. Which could be sooner than you think.’ I said sincerely.

Everyday I contemplate taking my own life because what is the point. I am a slave to the man that has sworn to care and love his pack members. Protect them. Protection. That is not something I will ever know. What would be the point in continuing this wretched life any longer?

To bear evil little pups to continue this vicious cycle? Absolutely fucking not. I will NEVER bring children into this cruel world to have them turn into the monster I face every day. Or to have them face their own monster that as an omega I won’t be able to protect them from.

I can’t. I won’t..

“ESTELLE!!!” I hear my name ringing through the halls. Which means I have been lost in thought for longer than I thought I was.

“Fuck!” I said under my breath. I quickly dried myself, threw on a turtleneck and leggings, slipped on some shoes and left my room.

Quickly appearing in front of the Alpha, I made sure to look at the ground.

“Why isn’t my food ready?” He growled. I flinched suddenly at his voice, while another stray tear left my eyes.

“I apologize sincerely, Alpha. I had to have a bath for my body from my um-m, late night run. It won’t happen again.” I lied in case anyone was around or heard me. He walks closer to me, and my body begins trembling the closer he gets to me.

“I will deal this punishment out, MUCH later.” He said breathily in my ear.

“Prepare my breakfast.” He growled and walked away.

I scurried into the kitchen and got to work. If I don’t have this breakfast done within the next 30 minutes, I just know tonight could be the night that he ends me for real.

‘I promise, Estelle. I am going to get us out of this okay?’ Darra said to me as I began scrambling eggs for the Alpha.

'I want to believe you, D. But we've been saying this. That one little whiff of freedom I received last night is all I'll ever get. ' I said to her before cutting the link.

A vanilla cinnamon coffee on the first morning of winter…

Yeah, I'll never forget that that's what freedom smells like.