I think I am dying. It is the only way I can describe the sensation. Everything starts leaving me. There is nothing left in the world but me on that table with his hand sealing my mouth shut, my legs wide open, and the friction of his long fingers working me. Forceful, fast,
possessive. Then even that goes and I disintegrate and become one with pure pleasure. Waves and waves of it.But it doesn’t last. I don’t die. I come back. To voiceless sobbing and acute embarrassment. His fingers are still inside me, and I’ve squirted all over his fine furniture.I look up into his cold eyes and I think they will mock me, but they don’t. His eyes are more beautiful than anything I’ve ever seen in my life. I feel breathless. I am transfixed by his eyes. I feel as if I’m being sucked into them. The water is cold but it is impossible to resist. It pulls me deeper and deeper.Slowly, he takes his hand away from my mouth and I inhale a shuddering breath. His headNikolai “Y ou’re nothing but a big bully.”The words reverberate around in my brain like an echo. I thought I had killed that motherfucker, but it is not dead. The past can never die. It lies down quietly in a dark well of sorrow, and when you least expect, it jumps out at you. After all these years. The scars have outwardly healed, but the ugliness underneath remains as vivid as yesterday. I turn away from her quickly. I don’t want her to see. Not her. I’m already too exposed. Too vulnerable.My hand shakes as I close the door behind me. I hear her crying and I want to go to her, but I won’t. It’s not safe for me.The past. There is no escaping it. It’s not dead.It’s still calling … Twenty-six Years Ago … “Boys can you come down, please,” our housekeeper, Duscha, calls.I turn instantly to my younger brother, Pavel. It is a late autum
Star Before the hour is up I hear the sound of a motorbike roaring to the front. Minutes later there is a quiet knock, and when I open it Celine is standing outside. She looks at me strangely. I know my eyes are swollen and red.“Your new phone has arrived. A woman who can teach you how to use it is also here.”I follow her downstairs where a young Italian girl smiles at me and proceeds to show me how to use the phone. It is very different from mine and I have never heard of the brand before, but she is a good teacher, the interface is easy, and soon I am using it confidently.“That’s it. If you have any problems don’t hesitate to call me,” she says standing up. “I’m sorry you had to come out at this time of the night.”She grins broadly. “I wish more people would call me out at this time of the night. I’m getting paid almost a week’s wages for this, so believe me when I tell you, it is no hardship at all.”
Star I wake up early and check my new phone. No calls or messages. I go into the beautiful marble bathroom and take a shower. Wrapped up in a fluffy robe, I sit on my bed, and call Nan. She asks how I am and I tell her that I am better, and that I will be going to see mydad tomorrow.“Yes, that would be good. He was asking about you yesterday.” “I’ll see him tomorrow,” I repeat.“What are you and Nigel up to today?”I close my eyes. This part is even more painful. “Not much. We’ll probably stay in today.” “Probably best. You stay indoors until you feel completely better.”“Yeah, I will.”“If you want I’ll make you some soup and your grandad can take it around to you.” “No, don’t do that. I’m almost better.”“Are you sure, Love? Cause it’s no trouble.”“No need. Rosa said she’ll bring something around.” “All right then.”“I’ll call you tomorrow.”I hang up with a sigh, and c
In minutes the other children start to file in followed by Igor. Some of them glance at us, but most of them keep their eyes firmly on the floor. No one says anything. A boy with brown hair and sad eyes comes to stand near my cot. “You will sleep over there,” Igor says, and points to another empty cot. Without a word of protest the boy moves to the other cot.In minutes, everybody, including Pavel and me, have changed into our pajamas and climbed into our beds. The lights go off and the door closes. In the sad silence, Igor’s footsteps echo as he walks down the corridor.I turn to face Pavel.His big bright eyes are gleaming in the faint moonlight coming in through the windows. I put my finger on my lips to indicate that he should remain silent. When I can hear that all the other children are sleeping soundly, I climb into bed with Pavel. I notice that he is sucking his thumb, something he has not done since he was a baby, but I say not
Star For a few seconds I stare rebelliously at him. Then it occurs to me that if I don’t obey he might decide to take matters into his own hands, and then he will see how right his assessment has been. I can feel how wet I am. I take my panties off. Bunching them upin my fist, I drop them into his outstretched palm.“I expect to find you bare when I return,” he says before he walks out. It’s a strange sensation to walk around without my underwear. I’ve never done it, especially not while wearing such a short dress. It is at once liberating and slightly worrying. What if a sudden breeze picks up my skirt or I have an accident? Everyone will Since the weather is so lovely I decide to take a walk in the grounds. I veer off the path and walk on the carefully manicured carpet of grass towards a pretty red-brick and stone building. I walk up the steps and try the wooden door
Nikolai All day long I tried to forget her. I told myself I didn’t need to rush back for a bit of pussy. Then, like a cheap strung-out addict, I climb into my car in the early morning hours, and speed to her body, my cock hard as stone. Fuck, I even run up the stairs. She sleeps with only a thin sheet to cover her. I walk up to her and look down on her. It’s like looking at a fucking angel. Something I dreamed up.I lift the sheet. Her nightgown has ridden up. I lay my hand on her thigh and push the nightgown upwards.She is bare underneath. One good thing. She knows how to take instructions.She wakes up then. In the dark she opens her legs in invitation. My body becomes electric with anticipation. I unzip my trousers and take my rigid cock out. Getting on the bed, I plunge it into her sweet cunt. She cries out. The sound is feral and uncontrolled, exciting me.I don’t use a condom and she doesn’t ask for o
StarThe first thought in my head when I wake up is the shocking way I gave myself to Nikolai last night. Completely. Without any inhibitions. As if I was desperate for him. My fingernails raking his back, my hips pushing up, forcing him deeper and deeper intome. If Nigel could have seen me. How greedy I was. He would be so shocked. I close my eyes at the memory.We didn’t even use a condom. Worse still, I don’t regret it. I wanted to feel him bare inside me. I still do. Even now, just thinking about him makes me throb with desire.My hand strays between my legs.My flesh is distended and puffy. Ever since I arrived here I have been like this, and I cannot understand why. Why he has this effect on me. I don’t even like or respect him. He exploited Nigel’s weakness and blackmailed him so he could get what he wanted. That is despicable behavior.Besides, he makes it abundantly clear that he only wants me for one thing. Not even the smallest hint of tenderness has he shown to me. He use
StarThe door opens and I jump. Without even saving my work I hurriedly shut my computer and look up. It is a force of habit. I actually feel guilty when I write. As if I’m wasting my time, or indulging myself. I never felt like that until that time I gave my work toNot even Rosa knows about that one time. I never told her because it hurt me so much I locked it away somewhere deep inside me and just pretended it never happened. After that I learned to write in secret.What did he say that hurt me so bad?Well, he kissed me gently on the forehead and said, “You know I love you and I want only the best for you, right?”My heart was breaking as I nodded.“I’m going to be really honest because I don’t want you to go down the wrong path. Is that okay?” Dumbly I nodded.“I’m afraid to say it’s very childish, my darling.” “It’s a children’s book,” I whispered.“I get that, but it’s just badly written. I don’t want you to get hurt and rejected by other people. Maybe you can try again when yo
ReeseFeeling happy, ridiculously so, I put my key in the door and push it open. It’s been a week since I moved in with Drake and I’m still floating on a cloud of joy. The apartment is quiet. Drake is out visiting with his agent about a sponsorship deal for anew sneakers company. He’s glad to be back training again, even though he comes home every night exhausted. A couple of times he tried to sneak me into the locker rooms again, in the hopes of re- enacting our kinky first-time meeting, but we’ve had no luck so far. There have always been people around. Sometimes I wonder how fate works. How easily I got in and found him alone the first time, but now it’s almost impossible to find a moment when it is quiet.I dump my keys on the side table and kick off my formal shoes. I’ve just returned from an interview at one of the colleges I hope to attend in the new year. I’ve always been wary about pursuing something away from Dad and Morgan, for fear that they would need me, or that somethi
ReeseAnother morning, another unfamiliar place for me to wake up in, but this time, the fact I’m somewhere new doesn’t throw me. In fact, it sends a shiver of joy down my back. I turn over to see Drake lying next to me, fast asleep and sprawled across the luxurious covers ofhis massive bed.It was last night that I officially moved into his apartment in the city. His place is great because it’s less than an hour’s drive from where Morgan is staying so I can be closer to her. I don’t know how much longer Morgan must stay in the hospital, but I hope she will be discharged soon. Now that we have found out her condition is treatable, I can’t wait for her to start living her life again.Drake drove down to pick up all my stuff, and we took a road trip across the country together. It’s something I will remember forever. It was like a dream. The sun was shining, and the wind was in my hair. We talked, we laughed, we ate, and when we just couldn’t keep our hands off each other anymore, we s
DrakeT he hospital doors slide open smoothly in front of us. Reese squeezes my hand. I glance down at her, and possessive pride bubbles inside me. This is my woman and only mine. It makes me sad that she must go through this pain. Thank God, I’m here tosupport her through it. She’ll never have to deal with anything like this on her own again. “Are you ready?”“Almost,” I say, and wrapping one arm around her waist and the other in her long hair, I pull her towards me. Caught off guard, she gasps and I claim her open mouth. Her fingers come up and grasp at my shirt trying to pull me closer, closer, and closer still. Her curvy body pushes into mine, molding herself against my hardness. All the passion and fervor I feel for her comes to the fore and all I want to do is pull her into a quiet corner and fuck her so hard she screams, but I don’t. I pull back and look into her eyes. They are glazed and heavy-lidded. Her lips are red, swollen, and slightly parted, as she takes short, quick b
ReeseWhen I open my eyes the next morning, it takes me a couple of seconds to realize where I am. I blink at the watery light streaming in through the bay windows. The chipped paint on the panes remind me.Drake. The cheap hotel.I snap upright in bed and look around, scanning the room for him, but I don’t see him. There is an indentation in the pillow, but the sheets are cold. Memories of last night come tumbling back. Drake couldn’t get enough of my body. Sinking into me again and again. Like he couldn’t get deep enough. Like a beast. Like he hadn’t fucked in years. Surely, he hasn’t run out on me in a crummy hotel in the middle of nowhere?So why do I feel this creeping sense of dread?What if everything he whispered, roared, and growled last night was a lie? A technique to get what he wanted. What if all he ever wanted from me was a night of sex so he could move on already. The sudden sense of loss and hurt is so acute it makes me feel sick to my stomach. Until I hear his voice c
DrakeI drive fast, faster than I should in someone else’s car, faster than I’ve driven in a long time. I just want to put as much distance as possible between me and my parents’ betrayal. I trusted them completely. Fuck, they didn’t even let me believe Santa Clausexisted because it was wrong to cheat kids! They robbed me of that innocent fantasy and lied about this massive deal!My mind flashes with memories of my childhood. All kinds of images slam into my head. Everything was a lie. I try to figure out if there is some way I could have known this. If I had been more vigilant, could I have put the pieces together before now? Even raging with anger, I know I still love both my parents, and I always will, but what they did to that poor woman.Unforgivable.My heart bleeds for Morgan. All those wasted years pining for me. Carefully cutting out my pictures from newspapers and magazines, and framing them all. Making a shrine for me. Watching every game. She was pale and frail. Like she
ReeseI''m wearing out the carpet in the living room pacing back and forth when Drake re- emerges. I can’t take my eyes off him. The look on his face is unlike anything I’ve seen on anybody before. He is so livid his eyes are practically shooting sparks. His mouth isclamped tightly with steely determination, and there’s a white ring around his mouth. Uh oh, something big is about to go down. What did we expect, though, when we invited someone as hot- headed as Drake to find out that he’s been lied to his entire life?“Do you have a car?” he asks through clenched teeth.I look at him blankly for a second. A car? Then I nod quickly. “Yes.”He marches over to me, grabs my hand, and starts dragging me along with him.“What are you doing?” I protest, even though a part of me loves the feeling of his hot flesh against mine again.“Come on. I need your help.” “To do what?” I ask.“To take me to my father.”I feel a cold sensation rush up and down my body.“I need to go over there now,” he s
DrakeI must admit this whole thing has started to give me the creeps. I was certain that it was all a scam. Fuck, I wouldn’t even have come if I didn’t want to mark Reese as my property so damn badly.To start with I’m not good at all this emotional stuff, but worse I’m not so sure anymore that it’s a scam. My bullshit-o-meter has been waiting to spot a crack, a problem in the story so that I can unravel and bring the whole thing down around them, but so far nothing. Could these three really be that good at pretending?I straighten my shoulders. Maybe this will be it. Reese was the honey trap, the Dad is the bit player, but the woman upstairs. She’s the eye of the storm.I get to the landing and find three doors, but only one is slightly ajar. I start walking towards, but before I can even knock, a woman’s voice calls from inside the room, “Drake?”I push open the door and my eyes immediately fall on a woman in a flowery nightgown. She’s sitting up in a double bed and leaning forward
ReeseWe both stand stock-still and listen to the noises upstairs. Someone is getting out of bed, and I’ll put money on it being Dad. Surely, they can’t have heard us? Even though Dad’s hearing is poor at best and the drugs effectively knock Morgan into such a deepsleep that it is sometimes hard to deliberately wake her up, I can’t be totally sure that they have been oblivious to everything that we’ve been up to down here. All I can hope is that Drake managed to muffle most of my noises by stuffing my panties into my mouth.I have no idea what I look like, but my face feels flushed, and my breath is still coming so fast I’m sure it must be blindingly obvious to anyone who lays eyes on me that I’ve just climaxed. Terrified that I’ll give the game away, I close my eyes and try to calm myself, but it’s hard, especially knowing that he’s right there, looking at me with more lust than I know what to do with.How am I supposed to react normally in front of my parents with a guy like this a
DrakeI called the number that Reese left, hoping that I’d find some way to get hold of her again, but instead, I found myself talking to the lady claiming to be my real birth mother. My hackles were still up, but she was so incredibly happy to hear from me that I ended uplistening to her with a kind of detached amazement.Was it truly possible for someone to pretend that level of sweet innocence and pure joy?I guess, if you’re pulling this kind of scheme, you should go all in and pick the sweetest, kindest, most adorable little lady you can find.Obviously, I agreed to meet her. The way I figured it, I’ll walk through her door, get to the bottom of the scam, then go find Reese and finish what we started. Any screwing that happens along the way, of course, will be purely incidental.The closest airport to my hometown is a small city about an hour north of it. It is a wet, thickly fogged day, and it sets the tone for the way I feel.It’s been forever since I was back here. Usually, m