4. Why Is He Back?

_______________

.

.

.

~~~OLIVIA~~~

.

I took a deep breath and steeled myself. I could do this.

But did I want to do this?

He would leave if he thought I was not here, right?

What did he want from me?

I swiped at my cheeks and took another deep breath. I had to be strong.

I unlocked the door and pulled it open.

Jackson stood there, looking as handsome as ever, but his eyes were filled with something unreadable. Regret? Pity? I couldn't tell. I could never tell.

"Liv." He said, his voice thick.

I raised a brow. Liv? LIV?

Jackson's gaze searched my face, looking for something.

I kept my face a mask. "What do you want, Jackson?"

He stepped closer, and the scent of his cologne hit me like a tidal wave of memories. "Can I come in?"

"Umm... No." I said blankly.

Jackson's eyebrows shot up in surprise. "Liv, I need to talk to you."

I smiled at him.

"I don't want to listen to a word you say." I shot back.

Jackson looked taken aback, his eyes widening for a moment before he regained his composure. "I know you're upset, but please, just hear me out, Liv."

"It's Olivia Smith to you." I maintained.

Jackson's face tightened. "Fine, Olivia."

"What do you want?" I repeated, my voice colder than the winter breeze. I was so proud of myself.

Jackson's gaze dropped to the floor for a brief second before meeting mine again. "It's about your mother-in-law," he began.

I scoffed.

"You mean, ex-mother-in-law."

But even as I said it, I could not help the tears pooling my eyes.

"You know." He sighed.

I guessed he was talking about her death.

I nodded.

"She had been hospitalized since last month." He let me know.

"What happened?" I asked, despite my resolve to not indulge.

"Late-stage pancreatic cancer." He wiped away a lone tear of his own.

It was the first time I had seen Jackson vulnerable.

"I am sorry for your loss. But why are you here?" I asked, my voice a mere whisper.

Jackson took a deep breath, his eyes still on the floor. "There's something she wanted me to give you," he said, reaching into his pocket.

He pulled out a small envelope and handed it to me. My name was scribbled in Lily's familiar handwriting. My heart clenched in my chest.

"What is this?" I asked, taking the envelope from his hand.

Jackson's eyes finally met mine, the sorrow in them profound. "It's a letter. She wrote it for you before she... passed away."

I stared at the envelope in my hand, feeling a strange mix of emotions.

Part of me wanted to rip it to shreds, but another part of me was desperately curious.

"Why now?" I managed to ask, my voice shaking.

Jackson shrugged. "I didn't know about it until her will was read," he said, his voice gruff. "I was just as shocked as you are."

I looked at him skeptically. Why would Lily leave me a letter? Why would she care what I had to say after the way she had sided with her son?

"What does it say?" I finally asked, my curiosity getting the better of me.

Jackson's gaze was firm. "I wouldn't know. It's for you. You should read it," he said gently.

With trembling hands, I took the envelope from him and closed the door in his face.

There was an immediate soft knock that I ignored.

I walked over to the kitchen counter and laid it down, staring at it for what felt like hours.

Finally, I took a deep breath and slid my finger under the flap, breaking the seal.

I pulled out the letter, and it was a single page, filled with Lily's neat script.

'Dear Olivia, How have you been, my darling?'

The words hit me like a ton of bricks. She had called me 'darling'. I felt a knot in my throat.

'I know you're probably mad at me for not being there for you during the tough times. I am sorry for that. I was caught in my own mess, trying to deal with a son who was lost. But let me tell you something, I never stopped caring for you. You were the daughter I never had.' 

The words on the paper blurred as my eyes filled with tears. 

'Jackson is not a bad person, he is just confused. He needs you, Olivia. He needs you to love him unconditionally, to forgive him for his mistakes. To show him that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.'

I sighed, crumbling the paper not wanting to read the rest, filled with rage and sadness.

Till the end, she only cared for her son. She didn't want him to be alone so she decided to call back the tossed-out ex-wife for the job. Maybe I was bitter, maybe I had grown smarter. Whatever it was, I did not care. I did not care about this dead woman's wish.

I only cared about one person in this whole world and that was my daughter.

My phone alarm rang and I looked down at it - monkey pickup, the label said. 

It was already half past two in the afternoon. 

I quickly put on my jacket and picked up my car keys on my way out. 

I opened the door and jumped at the sight of Jackson still there, leaning against the opposite wall. 

"Why are you still here?" 

Jackson pushed himself off the wall, his grey eyes searching my face. "I wanted to make sure you were okay."

"Why would I not be okay?" I asked, narrowing my eyes at him. "I am in my own home."

Jackson took a step towards me, his gaze intense. "Because I know that reading that letter was hard for you," he said, his voice low and concerned.

"It's none of your business," I spat, trying to keep my emotions in check.

Jackson took a step back, his eyes never leaving mine. "I know this isn't easy for you," he said softly.

"A lot of things weren't easy for me, Jackson. But I am alive, aren't I? And I will live. So why don't you go back to your Elena?" I spat out.

Now that I think about it, why was Lily asking me to be with him when he already had his first love?

Jackson looked down, his jaw clenched. "Elena and I... we're not together anymore."

The words hit me like a sledgehammer. "What?" I stared at him, my heart racing. "Since when?"

Jackson looked up at me, his eyes filled with a sadness that was all too real. "Since I realized that I never stopped loving you."

I didn't slap anymore. Slapping was for the weak.

I swung my fist, instead. So hard that I heard a crunch on impact. If his nose is broken, I will give myself a gold star.

Jackson staggered back, his hand shooting up to his nose. "What the fuck, Liv?" He growled.

"You don't get to say that!" I shouted, the tears falling freely now. "You don't get to come here and say you still love me after what you've done when the truth is that you never loved me in the first place!"

Jackson's eyes were wide with shock and pain, his hand still clutching his nose. "Liv," he said, his voice strained, "I never meant to hurt you."

I wanted to swing again but I knew he was expecting it so I walked away instead. 

"Liv!"

"My name is Olivia!" I turned to glare at him. "And let me quote your words from five years ago, Jackson. 'Now get out! And never appear in my life ever again!'"

.

.

.

____________________