Emily POV I never really grasped the true meaning of happiness. During my childhood, it would be just a glimmer, and then it would disappear just as quickly as it came. And, if I’m being honest with myself, I didn’t think I deserved it. Having Liam and Jacob in my life has changed my perception on many things. For me, happiness is no longer fleeting. It’s a state of reflective bliss every time my son gives me a hug and says he loves me, or when I smell the ocean, or when Jacob takes me in his arms. It feels like the ice around my heart has melted. It’s been replaced with a warmth of unending love. Finally, I can live my life. After the confrontation with Nancy, Jacob’s been more affectionate towards me. He doesn’t need to tell me that he overheard our heated argument. I already know by the way he holds me when he kisses me goodnight, or the way he gently touches my hand when I walk past him. This weekend, he’s decided to take me to Collin Estate to meet his dad. At first, I relen
Jacob POV Every story has a beginning and an end. But what about in between? The invisible seams that connect the dots from A to Z? I never knew my mother’s story, only picking up little morsels here and there, trying to find the breadcrumbs back to the start like Hansel and Gretal. As my father marches ahead of me and into his bedroom, I can’t summon any memory of her because I don’t have any. Taking an old picture album from his bedside table, he calls me to join him at the foot of the bed. The setting sun casts lonesome shadows across the room, giving the illusion of ghostly apparitions dancing in the twilight. “Son, I’ve been meaning to show this to you for a long time, but the opportunity never presented itself,” he says, and he hands me a perfectly preserved, leather-bound album engraved with ‘CB & MB.’ Inside is a series of photos of my father and mother when they were much younger, him handsome and carefree, her displaying an ethereal beauty only intensified by her allur
Mason POV Six months is a record for me. If this was me in another life, two months tops and I would have been planning my exit. I always know that a woman has overstayed her welcome when she starts posting pictures of us with captions like, “Me and my bae having the time of our lives. #truelove #theone.” Olivia is different. She’s like a slippery eel that keeps on trying to wriggle her way out. At first, I thought it was the excitement of the chase and keeping us a secret, but now I think it’s something much deeper. When she’s not with me, I find myself counting down the hours until I see her again. And when we’re together, just breathing her in is intoxicating… I can’t get enough of it. She’s like a cock tease, except she pretty much puts out whenever I want, and that’s basically when she wants it as well. Last week, she dragged me to watch a punk band perform. I thought I’d hate it, but surprisingly, I didn’t. She makes me want to do things with her just to see her happy. I know
Emily POV It takes me a second to realize where I am when I feel Jacob’s warm lips kissing my shoulder. The birds are already chirping their morning chorus, and there’s not a cloud in the sky. “Someone’s in a good mood,” I smile. “I have every reason to be,” he says and starts caressing my breasts. I can feel them tingling from his touch, and I nuzzle closer to him. “Mmmmmm,” escapes from his lips. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” he asks while pulling down the strap of my satin slip. “It depends, what are you thinking?” I smile and trace my finger around his left bicep. “I’m thinking this,” he says and disappears under the covers. His head is now between my legs, and I open them wider while laying on my back, giving him carte blanche. He makes himself comfortable and pulls my panties down to my ankles. I’ve never had morning sex. I read somewhere that it’s the best because your senses are heightened. Well, there’s only one way to find out, and I relax against the touch of
Emily POV I always used to believe life was a series of coincidences, but a series of them could never have led me to Liam and Jacob. I started questioning this the morning after my dream about Liam, after the quote my eye just happened to fall on in his most treasured book. A little girl whom I’ve never met before embraces me like someone she knows and cherishes, and my reaction is to do the same. Another coincidence? While Liam’s new friend Clarisse is holding onto me for dear life, a tall man wearing a baseball cap with a square set jaw walks over to us. He looks embarrassed. “Clarisse, why are you bothering this woman?” he asks and takes her hand. She must be his daughter. “No, that’s fine. Liam was just introducing us to his new friend,” I say by way of introduction. “Pleased to meet you, Clarisse.” Clarisse, who was a brazen kid a second ago, goes quiet and shy. “Sorry, I thought you were my aunt,” she explains. “You look just like her.” When I finally get a proper look a
Jacob POV Emily doesn’t know much about my past, and I’d prefer to keep it that way. It’s not because I have skeletons in my closet, I just want to start things off with her on a clean slate. Now, with Thaddeus coming back into the picture, that’s going to prove difficult. The two of us had been close once upon a time, but words were said and fragile egos were hurt. I can’t exactly remember what our falling out was about, but I have the feeling it had something to do with Nancy. Thaddeus didn’t like her, and I don’t blame him. But the disrespect he showed towards her was the last straw. He wore his disapproval of her like a mink coat, only to be taken out on special occasions. In his case, it was whenever Nancy was around. She wasn’t a fan of his either, always telling me that I should make other friends. And by that, she meant no friends. I think she preferred me to be a lone agent, only to make an appearance when called upon. If Thaddeus remembers anything about our last confron
Emily POV I can’t pinpoint the exact moment in my life when I realized things are not always what they seem. Maybe it was a few years back, maybe it’s even now while I’m sitting at a table with Jacob and a stranger I feel an odd affinity towards. I met Thaddeus less than three hours ago, and I get the distinct feeling that he and Jacob are hiding a secret so big that if anyone were to find out, it could change everything. Call it intuition. His fascination with me has now started to make me feel uncomfortable. And yet, I am determined to get to the bottom of this. I am intrigued by their mutual past and must know more. When Jacob told me earlier they had unresolved tension, I preferred not to know. Now, I’ve changed my mind. It’s not like I can interrupt their bromance and say, “Ooh, what happened between the two of you?” What’s more important to me is, what exactly happened to Jocasta? And why are they being so cagey about it? Before I lose the courage, I go in, balls to the wa
Emily POV The air starts to feel stuffy, almost as if the oxygen has been sucked out of it. New York has a habit of being murky this time of the year, but it’s even more so today. A bout of lightheadedness hits me, and I put it down to having too much wine to drink. But after a day of revelations, it’s probably starting to take its toll on me emotionally. Thaddeus’s occasional gaze still makes me feel uneasy. I think it’s time for us to leave, and when I’m about to get up to tell Jacob we should go, I’m hit with another spell. I can’t be sure how I managed to make it to the restroom without falling over. The next thing I remember is sitting in a toilet stall, resting my forehead against the cool sensation of the tiles. The last time I felt like this was when I was pregnant with Liam. The very thought of it has me giggling to myself. The giggles don’t last for long, though, and I’m overcome with an intense bout of nausea. The urge to throw up becomes so strong that I find myself ho
Hope starts clapping at the sound of her name, getting Charlotte’s attention. “Oh my gosh, she’s beautiful,” she gasps. “What are you doing here, Mother?” asks my dad. His agitation is a sign that he’s done playing a welcoming party. “I’ve missed so much, haven’t I? And I only have myself to blame,” she says. Hope clamors to get out of Jocasta’s arms and she puts her down on the grass. Slowly, she lifts herself up and her chubby legs begin the unsteady walk to Charlotte. Charlotte breaks her fall with outstretched arms as she comes crashing down. “There’s a good girl,” she says. “You’re a feisty one, just like your mother.” “You haven’t answered Matthew’s question, why are you here?” asks my wife. Charlotte looks at her, “I suppose I’ve come to make a mence and ask for your forgiveness.” “Don’t you think you’re a few years too late?” asks Matthew. “You’re right, I am. But I wanted to say sorry for all the horrible things I’ve done to all of you,” she coughs. “I know my words of
Epilogue (One year later) Jacob POV Jocasta cuts up paper-thin slices of watermelon, Liam’s favorite. “Thanks, Mommy,” he says, grabs the bowl from her and dashes outside. The house is quiet and I take advantage of having her to myself for a few seconds. Switching on the old kitchen radio, a slow song plays across the static. She’s clearing up the watermelon peels on the kitchen counter, and I take her by the hand and give her a twirl. She has a daisy in her long hair - a gift from Hope who insisted on putting it in her mouth instead of giving it to her mama. “What are you doing?” she smiles. “I’m serenading my wife,” I say and hold her close while we slow dance with the song. She giggles, “We’re going to be late.” “They can wait,” I say and inhale her sweet scent; she smells like the ocean and baby powder. While the soft male voice is singing about giving a little love this time, I dip her low and kiss her on the mouth. A moan escapes her lips and she kisses me back. Little
Jacob is stunned. It’s the first time he’s heard this too. We don’t say anything for a few seconds and wait for the heartbreaking news to settle in. “We have Liam and Hope,” I say. “They’re more than we could wish for.” He takes Hope from my arms and cradles her, whispering into her ear, “Yes, much more than we could wish for.” Liam wants a piece of the action and attaches himself to his dad’s leg, “My turn.” We laugh and Jacob bends down and grabs Liam by the scruff of his T-shirt, “Okay Buddy, your turn.” With both of them in arms, Jacob is finding it hard to balance them, “Yep, I think two are enough.” That night I dream of my mother, the dream as vivid as an oil painting. All my past memories are coming back. It’s as if being given a second lease on life had somehow unlocked a part of my brain I had buried for years. I remember playing in the courtyard garden at Mellon Estate and going on holidays with my folks. And then there’s the memory of that photo - it’s the very first
Emily/Jocasta POV Imagine a door opening between life and death. Which one would you choose? The answer’s not that simple, is it? Death would finally bring me peace, stilling the chaotic world around me. Life is for the living as Liam once told me. But where would that leave me? My fate has been assigned - I am to die from a disease that will ravage my body. Soon, my limbs won’t obey my commands, and I’ll slowly start to lose my mind. That is no way to live. The incessant wail of a baby is calling me, beckoning me to make a decision. It’s the sound of my little girl telling me time is running out - choose now or forever hold my peace. I’ve made up my mind - I choose love. --- I’m laying on a cold, steel table. There’s a commotion all around me. Someone shouts, “We’re losing her!” and I feel something hard putting pressure on my chest. The shock of an electric current jolts my body back to life. I’ve returned to the land of living. “She’s awake! She’s awake!” When I look around m
I’m in the conservatory with Liam. Dust motes are floating in the sun’s rays while we sit side by side, both of us with a notebook.He’s making squiggles on a page, round and round until the pencil pierces through to the next page. “Do you think Mom loves us?” he asks.“Why do you ask that?” I glance at him and stop drawing. I’m trying to sketch gladiolus flowers from memory but I keep on getting stuck on the intricate detail of the petals. This is my third attempt. I tear the page from the notebook and throw it onto the heap of pages collecting next to me.“Last night she told me I’m not a good boy after I wet the bed. I can’t help it, Emily. Sometimes, it just comes out,” he grimaces.“It’s not your fault, you do know that?” I add. “Mom just gets upset really fast.”“I know, it’s that when she gets like that, I get scared,” he says.I move closer to him, “Do you know, when I get scared, I just tell myself that soon it will be over. Mom doesn’t stay angry for long. You just have to w
Emily/Jocasta POVYou know when people describe their near-death experiences as walking towards a bright light? Mine was nothing like that.For me, it was falling into a vat of creamy liquid and being suspended between space and time. The protection of the womb-like state offered me comfort and reassurance that I would be fine.Why would I want to go back to a world of uncertainty and sorrow when everything I want is right here?Memories are flashing through my mind, firing off like sparks from a fire, But they are muddled up and confusing. I can’t tell which ones are Emily’s or Jocasta’s. It’s hard to concentrate on just one at a time.I close my eyes and focus on one in particular; it’s of a beautiful woman cradling a baby in her arms. She’s standing in a nursery, and there’s a quilted blanket in the crib.She starts singing a lullaby, and it’s the same one Ophelia sang months ago when I first discovered my real identity. I gasp in recognition - it’s my mother.She can’t see me, but
The parking garage is quiet and empty. None of the day shift staff have arrived yet. I stand against the cold wall and gather my skittled thoughts.I was wrong to get angry at Thaddeus. None of this is his fault. If there’s anyone to blame, it has to be me. I’m the only one that’s known about Jocasta’s diagnosis.“Jacob,” shouts Thaddeus from the emergency exit. He jogs towards me and tries to speak but struggles to catch his breath.“Look, I’m sorry. I was so desperate for her to get better, that I may have been too hasty to get her on the treatment,” he breathes. “I honestly thought it was going to work.”“I don’t blame you,” I say. “I was angry and lashed out at you.”“Blame me if you want, because I blame myself,” he says. There’s a dejected look in his eye.“No, I should have told her the truth,” I admit.“The truth about what?” he asks and strands upright.This lie is killing me, I can’t let it destroy my wife and baby as well. Maybe if I confess my sins, my punishment might not
Jacob POVI am woken up by the buzzing of my phone on the nightstand. When I answer, it’s Dr. Richards on the line, “Mr. Collin, you need to come to the hospital now.”My brain sends signals to my limbs to move into action. Like a robot, I mechanically get dressed in the dark and rush to Liam’s room. He’s fast asleep, but I need to get him into the car. I can’t afford to lose precious time by calling someone over to babysit, so I bundle him up and carry him into the elevator.While we’re on our way down to the parking garage, he opens his eyes, “Dad, what’s going on?”I shush him back to sleep and he’s back in dreamland.The drive to the hospital is excruciating. Dr. wouldn’t have called me at this hour if it wasn’t an emergency. My mind keeps on playing different scenarios, all of them leading to the same end results.Keeping my concentration on the road is proving difficult and I struggle to keep to the speed limit, scared that I may get there too late.When I get there, I leave the
One evening I got a surprise visitor. There’s a knock behind the door and a wispy brunette peeks her head through the crack; it’s Ophelia.“Helloooo,” she smiles. She’s come bearing gifts, carrying a huge bunch of roses.“Wow, are those for me?” I ask.“Yes, she says. “But if you don’t like them, I can give them to the lady down the hall. I walked into her room by mistake thinking it was yours.”I respond by snatching the flowers from her, and joking, “Give them here!”“I’m glad to see you’re in good spirits,” she adds. “Thaddeus says you’ve been feeling very tired.”I sit upright and say, “That’s an understatement. Let’s just say I may fall asleep while you’re gossiping, so you better make it extra juicy.”Ophelia looks nervously around her, “Then I got nothing for you, I’m afraid.”She takes a seat opposite my bed. I can see something’s bothering her. “Hey, what’s up?” I ask her.“It’s Astrid, I haven’t heard from her for the past few months,” she says. “The last time I spoke to her