Emily POV The drive to Lake Tahoe in the rust bucket was an adventure on its own. Two days of driving from one end of the country to the other, two days of a rambunctious five-year-old wanting to stop at every popular tourist attraction and anything that resembled a giant old rock. Liam would plot our journey on his iPad and shout out random places we should visit. The highlight for him was Niagara Falls. Excited to see the water roaring down the steep drop, he rushed to take the elevator to the observation deck. I must admit, trapped between a wall of glass and water played into my fear of heights and my claustrophobia. By the time we reached the highest point, he had taken photos from every angle, telling us they were for show and tell. When we got to Denver, I was all road-tripped out, but Liam’s enthusiasm was like an inflated balloon—it was high at one minute and then it came buzzing down like someone had pricked a hole in it. Jacob loved visiting the city. Like a kid in a ca
The next morning I am woken by the sound of wood splintering. It’s a sunny day, considering it had been snowing the night before. I walk towards the window, and below Jacob is chopping wood, dressed in a checkered shirt and blue jeans. With his sleeves rolled up, I notice his arm muscles pulling taut every time he brings the ax down. It sends a warm sensation between my legs. Standing there, I look on in silence while he chops away, unaware I’m watching him. Reaching down to my panties, I pull them away and feel the wetness dripping on my thighs. Slowly, I start caressing my clit, sending delicious shivers through my body. The chopping stops, and he looks up at me. Instead of stopping, I continue rubbing the soft part of my groin, burning with a desire to have something hard and big take the place of my fingers, now sliding their way inside. Jacob stares with a knowing look in his eye. I stare back at him, keeping eye contact. He licks his lips and encourages me to continue with
Emily POV It feels like a nightmare on an unending loop, but no one’s bothered to wake me up. Hearing my screams, Jacob rushed to where we were. In shock and crying, I tried to help him lift Liam up, but my legs gave in, and I fell into a puddle of mud and dead leaves. Getting no assistance from me, Jacob phoned 911 and managed to get Liam down to the cabin. Within minutes, an air helicopter was there to take us to the nearest hospital. Still unconscious, my little boy lay motionless on a stretcher with a big gash across his head, blood dripping everywhere. Two days later, and I’m in the same hospital I was in five years ago—it’s an all too familiar feeling of dread followed by exhaustion. With no sleep and no appetite, my body wants to give in on itself, but I fight to stay sane and awake. Liam has a cast on his arm—the doctor says he broke it in two places. Luckily, the gash on his head looked worse than what it was. All he needed was stitches, but the mark it will leave behind
Olivia POV No one knows Mason and I have been seeing each for the past three months. I haven’t even plucked up the courage to tell Emily. She’s been so preoccupied with Jacob and Liam that it’s never the right time. Besides, I don’t even know what to call this thing. At first, it started as a booty call, but now we’ve been seeing each other more often, he’s even taken me out to dinner a few times. Most of the time, we spend the night at his place. Gary, my roommate, is being such a dick about his “no friends sleeping over” policy that I haven’t taken Mason there again after the last incident. Not that I’m complaining. His Soho apartment is like something out of a GQ mag. The guy has taste. I suppose that’s what old money does to you—you’re already born with the stylish gene. Mason even smells good, and that says a lot, considering the type of guys I tend to attract. I’m supposed to meet him at this new cafe his friend suggested. Speak of the devil, there he is. I wave to get his a
(flash back to three years previously) Nancy POV “Anything that works against you can also work for you once you understand the Principle of Reverse.” It’s my favorite quote from Maya Angelou, and it’s become my mantra. Looking at me, you wouldn’t think I know of Maya Angelou, or even that I read books. Most people are fooled into thinking I’m a poor, little rich girl with nothing to show except my Manolo Blahniks and Chanel handbag. Deception—that’s my weapon of choice. While you’re trying to seduce me with your charming smile, I’m one step ahead of you, planning how to make you part with your most prized possession. I’m not going to lie, of course my long blonde hair and mysterious blue eyes hook you in. For most suckers, beauty is never skin deep. I learned this from a young age while using my unusually good looks to hustle men at our local bar. They thought I was an angelic vision; chaste and innocent. Three drinks in, and they’d be 300 bucks down after I’d beat them at game
Emily POV ‘Settled down’. That’s one phrase I never thought would feature in my vocabulary. I like the thought of it. I’ve settled into a type of domesticated bliss since Liam returned from hospital. It’s something new and exciting to me. Who would have thought I’d be packing school lunches and doing school drop-offs? Maybe I should get myself a minivan so I can join the soccer mom’s club. I’ve even gone as far as drawing up a schedule for Jacob and me on whose week it is to do the school drop-offs. This week just happens to be my turn. After dropping Liam off at school, I’m in the kitchen clearing up while Jacob is upstairs in his study. He’s decided to take the day off so the two of us can spend some alone time together, but first he needs to sort a few things out. With the January sun out, I figured we’d pack a picnic lunch and end it with a nap under the willow tree before I rush off to pick up Liam. The concierge calls from the lobby, “There’s a Miss Van Halt here to see Mr
Emily POV I never really grasped the true meaning of happiness. During my childhood, it would be just a glimmer, and then it would disappear just as quickly as it came. And, if I’m being honest with myself, I didn’t think I deserved it. Having Liam and Jacob in my life has changed my perception on many things. For me, happiness is no longer fleeting. It’s a state of reflective bliss every time my son gives me a hug and says he loves me, or when I smell the ocean, or when Jacob takes me in his arms. It feels like the ice around my heart has melted. It’s been replaced with a warmth of unending love. Finally, I can live my life. After the confrontation with Nancy, Jacob’s been more affectionate towards me. He doesn’t need to tell me that he overheard our heated argument. I already know by the way he holds me when he kisses me goodnight, or the way he gently touches my hand when I walk past him. This weekend, he’s decided to take me to Collin Estate to meet his dad. At first, I relen
Jacob POV Every story has a beginning and an end. But what about in between? The invisible seams that connect the dots from A to Z? I never knew my mother’s story, only picking up little morsels here and there, trying to find the breadcrumbs back to the start like Hansel and Gretal. As my father marches ahead of me and into his bedroom, I can’t summon any memory of her because I don’t have any. Taking an old picture album from his bedside table, he calls me to join him at the foot of the bed. The setting sun casts lonesome shadows across the room, giving the illusion of ghostly apparitions dancing in the twilight. “Son, I’ve been meaning to show this to you for a long time, but the opportunity never presented itself,” he says, and he hands me a perfectly preserved, leather-bound album engraved with ‘CB & MB.’ Inside is a series of photos of my father and mother when they were much younger, him handsome and carefree, her displaying an ethereal beauty only intensified by her allur
Hope starts clapping at the sound of her name, getting Charlotte’s attention. “Oh my gosh, she’s beautiful,” she gasps. “What are you doing here, Mother?” asks my dad. His agitation is a sign that he’s done playing a welcoming party. “I’ve missed so much, haven’t I? And I only have myself to blame,” she says. Hope clamors to get out of Jocasta’s arms and she puts her down on the grass. Slowly, she lifts herself up and her chubby legs begin the unsteady walk to Charlotte. Charlotte breaks her fall with outstretched arms as she comes crashing down. “There’s a good girl,” she says. “You’re a feisty one, just like your mother.” “You haven’t answered Matthew’s question, why are you here?” asks my wife. Charlotte looks at her, “I suppose I’ve come to make a mence and ask for your forgiveness.” “Don’t you think you’re a few years too late?” asks Matthew. “You’re right, I am. But I wanted to say sorry for all the horrible things I’ve done to all of you,” she coughs. “I know my words of
Epilogue (One year later) Jacob POV Jocasta cuts up paper-thin slices of watermelon, Liam’s favorite. “Thanks, Mommy,” he says, grabs the bowl from her and dashes outside. The house is quiet and I take advantage of having her to myself for a few seconds. Switching on the old kitchen radio, a slow song plays across the static. She’s clearing up the watermelon peels on the kitchen counter, and I take her by the hand and give her a twirl. She has a daisy in her long hair - a gift from Hope who insisted on putting it in her mouth instead of giving it to her mama. “What are you doing?” she smiles. “I’m serenading my wife,” I say and hold her close while we slow dance with the song. She giggles, “We’re going to be late.” “They can wait,” I say and inhale her sweet scent; she smells like the ocean and baby powder. While the soft male voice is singing about giving a little love this time, I dip her low and kiss her on the mouth. A moan escapes her lips and she kisses me back. Little
Jacob is stunned. It’s the first time he’s heard this too. We don’t say anything for a few seconds and wait for the heartbreaking news to settle in. “We have Liam and Hope,” I say. “They’re more than we could wish for.” He takes Hope from my arms and cradles her, whispering into her ear, “Yes, much more than we could wish for.” Liam wants a piece of the action and attaches himself to his dad’s leg, “My turn.” We laugh and Jacob bends down and grabs Liam by the scruff of his T-shirt, “Okay Buddy, your turn.” With both of them in arms, Jacob is finding it hard to balance them, “Yep, I think two are enough.” That night I dream of my mother, the dream as vivid as an oil painting. All my past memories are coming back. It’s as if being given a second lease on life had somehow unlocked a part of my brain I had buried for years. I remember playing in the courtyard garden at Mellon Estate and going on holidays with my folks. And then there’s the memory of that photo - it’s the very first
Emily/Jocasta POV Imagine a door opening between life and death. Which one would you choose? The answer’s not that simple, is it? Death would finally bring me peace, stilling the chaotic world around me. Life is for the living as Liam once told me. But where would that leave me? My fate has been assigned - I am to die from a disease that will ravage my body. Soon, my limbs won’t obey my commands, and I’ll slowly start to lose my mind. That is no way to live. The incessant wail of a baby is calling me, beckoning me to make a decision. It’s the sound of my little girl telling me time is running out - choose now or forever hold my peace. I’ve made up my mind - I choose love. --- I’m laying on a cold, steel table. There’s a commotion all around me. Someone shouts, “We’re losing her!” and I feel something hard putting pressure on my chest. The shock of an electric current jolts my body back to life. I’ve returned to the land of living. “She’s awake! She’s awake!” When I look around m
I’m in the conservatory with Liam. Dust motes are floating in the sun’s rays while we sit side by side, both of us with a notebook.He’s making squiggles on a page, round and round until the pencil pierces through to the next page. “Do you think Mom loves us?” he asks.“Why do you ask that?” I glance at him and stop drawing. I’m trying to sketch gladiolus flowers from memory but I keep on getting stuck on the intricate detail of the petals. This is my third attempt. I tear the page from the notebook and throw it onto the heap of pages collecting next to me.“Last night she told me I’m not a good boy after I wet the bed. I can’t help it, Emily. Sometimes, it just comes out,” he grimaces.“It’s not your fault, you do know that?” I add. “Mom just gets upset really fast.”“I know, it’s that when she gets like that, I get scared,” he says.I move closer to him, “Do you know, when I get scared, I just tell myself that soon it will be over. Mom doesn’t stay angry for long. You just have to w
Emily/Jocasta POVYou know when people describe their near-death experiences as walking towards a bright light? Mine was nothing like that.For me, it was falling into a vat of creamy liquid and being suspended between space and time. The protection of the womb-like state offered me comfort and reassurance that I would be fine.Why would I want to go back to a world of uncertainty and sorrow when everything I want is right here?Memories are flashing through my mind, firing off like sparks from a fire, But they are muddled up and confusing. I can’t tell which ones are Emily’s or Jocasta’s. It’s hard to concentrate on just one at a time.I close my eyes and focus on one in particular; it’s of a beautiful woman cradling a baby in her arms. She’s standing in a nursery, and there’s a quilted blanket in the crib.She starts singing a lullaby, and it’s the same one Ophelia sang months ago when I first discovered my real identity. I gasp in recognition - it’s my mother.She can’t see me, but
The parking garage is quiet and empty. None of the day shift staff have arrived yet. I stand against the cold wall and gather my skittled thoughts.I was wrong to get angry at Thaddeus. None of this is his fault. If there’s anyone to blame, it has to be me. I’m the only one that’s known about Jocasta’s diagnosis.“Jacob,” shouts Thaddeus from the emergency exit. He jogs towards me and tries to speak but struggles to catch his breath.“Look, I’m sorry. I was so desperate for her to get better, that I may have been too hasty to get her on the treatment,” he breathes. “I honestly thought it was going to work.”“I don’t blame you,” I say. “I was angry and lashed out at you.”“Blame me if you want, because I blame myself,” he says. There’s a dejected look in his eye.“No, I should have told her the truth,” I admit.“The truth about what?” he asks and strands upright.This lie is killing me, I can’t let it destroy my wife and baby as well. Maybe if I confess my sins, my punishment might not
Jacob POVI am woken up by the buzzing of my phone on the nightstand. When I answer, it’s Dr. Richards on the line, “Mr. Collin, you need to come to the hospital now.”My brain sends signals to my limbs to move into action. Like a robot, I mechanically get dressed in the dark and rush to Liam’s room. He’s fast asleep, but I need to get him into the car. I can’t afford to lose precious time by calling someone over to babysit, so I bundle him up and carry him into the elevator.While we’re on our way down to the parking garage, he opens his eyes, “Dad, what’s going on?”I shush him back to sleep and he’s back in dreamland.The drive to the hospital is excruciating. Dr. wouldn’t have called me at this hour if it wasn’t an emergency. My mind keeps on playing different scenarios, all of them leading to the same end results.Keeping my concentration on the road is proving difficult and I struggle to keep to the speed limit, scared that I may get there too late.When I get there, I leave the
One evening I got a surprise visitor. There’s a knock behind the door and a wispy brunette peeks her head through the crack; it’s Ophelia.“Helloooo,” she smiles. She’s come bearing gifts, carrying a huge bunch of roses.“Wow, are those for me?” I ask.“Yes, she says. “But if you don’t like them, I can give them to the lady down the hall. I walked into her room by mistake thinking it was yours.”I respond by snatching the flowers from her, and joking, “Give them here!”“I’m glad to see you’re in good spirits,” she adds. “Thaddeus says you’ve been feeling very tired.”I sit upright and say, “That’s an understatement. Let’s just say I may fall asleep while you’re gossiping, so you better make it extra juicy.”Ophelia looks nervously around her, “Then I got nothing for you, I’m afraid.”She takes a seat opposite my bed. I can see something’s bothering her. “Hey, what’s up?” I ask her.“It’s Astrid, I haven’t heard from her for the past few months,” she says. “The last time I spoke to her