Chapter 4

Matthew didn't come home for almost 3 days. He is really angry with me instead of me being the one who should be angry with him. He had the courage to abandon and cheat with me. I don't know where he got the courage to cheat again after his promises.

Am I not enough? Am I not good in bed? Why did he look for someone else? Is there something missing in me that others have filled in?

Maybe until this day he is still mad at me because he can't accept that he marry me but that's not my fault. I didn't like this incident either. It's just sad to think, both of us suffering from each other while our parents are enjoying themselves. If only I had known that this would be the result, I wish I would not have married him.

For almost a year, I didn't felt him treating me as a wife or atleast respect me as what he stated in his vow in our wedding. I could handle it all. I could endure all the pain but seeing him being with other woman, that's the thing I can't handle.

I keep questioning myself why I am here. When did I became such a martyr? When did I became the person who would sacrifice her happiness just for someone who doesn't sees my worth? Honestly, I want to give up. I'm so tired doubting myself and my capabilities as a wife. I'm so exhausted being used but not valued. I wasn't a toy or a robot. I'm a human. I have my own feelings too. I should experience happiness for atleast once in my life.

The cool breeze of the wind gently touches my skin. I watch the sunset alone here near the bay. The ambiance was really relaxing and comforting.The calm sea compliment the colorful sky as the sun slowly goes down.  Sunset are proof that even endings could be beautiful.

Is this a sign that I must accept my end too?

Should I accept that Matthew will never love me whatever I do?

But it's hard. It's hard to do. It's hard to stop. Loving him is like a drug, it's dangerous but it's addicting and I can't get enough of him. I love him so much. I don't know what my life could be if he won't be at my side. Maybe I must be contented with this life. Maybe I shouldn't complain. Atleast I was able to be with him. Atleast I have him at my side even though our feelings aren't the same.

I was about to walk away when I saw a familiar face. He was riding again but not with his car, it's with his bike.

"Tyra?" he stop in front of me

"Kairo...Why you're here? Are you stalking me?" I raised a bow at him. I know I'm assuming things right now but it wasn't impossible. 

"I think it is just coincidence that we meet here Tyra. I'm riding my bike so probably J didn't notice you." he chuckled

I look away from him, feeling embarrassed. Well, he got a point. He's just doing his thing and here I am a pathetic person who always assume about everything.

"By the way, why are you here?" he spit my question against me

"Just...Just getting some fresh air." I simply replied

"Oh you're life must be so toxic. You can't even breath." he let out a sarcastic laugh

"Uhm maybe? I guess?"

"Hey, is everything alright?" he tap my shoulders

"Y-Yes... Why should I?" I gave him a fake smile. I hope he won't see that it is fake.

"You know what let's get away from here." he said while smiling at me

"What are you talking about?" my eyes squinted at him. Oh, where will this guy bring me now.

"Let's travel. Away from here, away from the toxicity of life." he gave me an assuring look. I don't know if I should trust him. Kairo is still a stranger to me but he prove yesterday that he is trustworthy.

"You're silly." I chuckled

He go back to his bike. He was about to ride away but he look at me as if he was waiting for me to hop in his bike. 

"Let's go Tyra."

"Are you crazy?" 

"You'll go with me or I'll leave you alone here?" I leave no choice but to ride in his bike. He starting paddling. His action are so gentle and calm. I can't explain why I am comfortable with him even though I only meet him once.

"Your gonna fall if you keep that position." I heard him saying while he use his breaks. "Here." he placed my hand around his waist

"I-I'm fine Kairo. I don't need to do this." I try cover my face with his shoulders. I push away my hands from him. This is really embarrassing. I can't tell how red my cheeks are right now. I hope he wouldn't see them.

"So you want to fall?" he get my hands again and put them on his waist.

"Of course not."

"You want to fall with me?" he look at me and give me a smirk

"You're really silly." I rolled my eyes at him. He just chuckled and continue to ride his bike.

We traveled the road near the bay. I can still see the beautiful sunset in our side. We seen different things while we are travelling. The views are really breath taking. It's my first time to see this kind of view again. Since I got married to Matthew, I seldom go outside cause he always scold me that someone might recognize me.

The beauty of nature was really undeniably gorgeous. It was really God's gift. It somehow ease the pain I've been experiencing. Nature is good therapy for those heartbroken.

We stop on a cliff near by. I watch the sun completely goes down to the sky. I felt Kairo at my back. He hold my shoulder and whisper something in my ears.

"Shout your feelings in this cliff and it will grant your wish." 

I faced him with a curios look.

"Hey I've been here since I was a child. My parents told me that this cliff was magical."

"So you are believing in some folklore?"

"Why? Is there something wrong about it?"

"Nevermind."

"Why won't you try?"

I don't know what comes from my mind that I was able to take his suggestion. I walk a few inches away from him. I look at the cliff and mesmerized by it's beauty.

My feelings are mixed right now. I don't know what the right thing to say. However, there's no bad at trying. Like Kairo said, there's nothing wrong about believing.

"I HOPE I WON'T SUFFER ANYMORE! I HOPE I'LL FIND MY GREATEST LOVE!" I fully used my force and shout at the cliff. 

"NEXT TIME I'LL FALL IN LOVE, IT SHOULDN'T BE FORCE. IT SHOULD BE PURE AND GENUINE. I'M TIRED OF SUFFERING!" 

I close my eyes and think about Matthew. I how my wish come true. I hope he would love me too. I can't afford to lose. I can't. He's my life even though being with him means I will suffer a lot.