I kept my composure long enough to walk through the front door o front door of my house. And then, I broke down. I leaned against the closed door and my knees gave away, forcing me to slide down to the floor.
I was a sobbing mess. Eight years' worth of guilt and doubt overwhelmed me. I was so sure about my decision when I made it. But having him there in front of me, in front of my son… His son… brought everything back and made me doubt every decision I had made.
He was a father and I had taken that away from it. He didn’t know his child. But what was he going to say to me? What was he going to do?
To calm my nerves, I sat in front of my laptop and opened the document I was working on earlier in the day. But after spilling all my words, I quickly realized that my hands weren’t steady enough for it. Long lines of red banished me away from the keyboard.
I quickly changed my clothes and began to go over my normal routine when I was
He gulped. “Were you planning on telling me?”“Yes.”“When?”“I wanted to tell you as soon as your father left office. But with everything that happened with his Nobel Prize and you traveling… I put it off. I didn’t know how. I sent several letters, but they were returned unopened, I don’t know why.”His brows furrowed heavily on the sofa, his head dropping to his hands. He growled in frustration, making me jump.“Sorry, I didn’t mean to frighten you.”“It’s okay.”Kai stared up at me for a few moments, studying my face, his features softened and I saw a glimpse of the man I used to know. His head tipped to the side and I almost imagined him smiling. Almost. “Your hair?”I ran my hand over my hair. “This is the natural color. I had it dyed back then.”Kai nodded his head. “I…”
I was the mess when the door closed behind him. But I managed to pull myself together by the time Brittany’s car pulled up with the kids about twenty minutes later. I stepped out so they knew I was home. Usually, I would be in my office and Brit would keep Kaiden until I was done, but I had taken the day off from work after an exhausting trip.I waved at Brit and she yelled out, telling me she was coming with a bottle of wine at eight and the look on her face told me she was not going to let me evade her questions.Kaiden came running over and started telling me in exquisite detail about his day. He asked about a million questions about mine as well. But I had a hard time concentrating on his words. All I could think about was how his world was about to turn upside down. I couldn’t imagine how he would take the news but I was fairly certain he would be excited and Kai wouldn’t know what hit him when he got his hands on Kai.At a quarter to eigh
“I wish I could tell you everything. But… I don’t know. We had this insane connection. He was sweet and caring, and sexy as fuck. The man is…” I shivered at just the thought of him."Where? How long? How often? Give me details woman."I told her the little that I could."How in the hell did I not know about this, how was it kept quiet?"“There were loads of people making sure that we were never caught. He couldn’t see someone before… his father’s reelection. It would jeopardize his chances at Presidency.”This is about where my story would start to come undone if anyone asked too many questions."But the guy was entitled to a personal life.""Yeah, but then I got pregnant. We weren't married, can you imagine how the bible belt would have responded to that. So, I left before he ever found out. It very nearly killed me."Brit looked at me suspiciously. “Is that
There were two more conversations I needed to have similar to the one I had with Brit. The first was with my father, the next was with Aria. Aria, who I hadn't spoken to in at least five years, and who I hadn't seen since I left.My dad, Karl, was not going to be a walk in the park. When I had returned home, pregnant and an emotional wreck, he had welcomed me with open arms. However, he made it blatantly obvious that he did not support my decision not to tell the father. It was a bone of contention between us for many years. After Kaiden's birth, he remained quiet about it. However, there were always those moments that I could tell he wanted to say something.Like he knew something.Kaiden and I lived with Karl for the first three years of his life, until it became necessary for me to walk on my own two feet and not rely on my father's hospitality. I became quite driven about proving that I could do it all. Raise my child, write for my raising popularity. It was
The night I told Dad about Kai Rivera, I sat alone after putting Kaiden to bed, sipping a glass of wine. My mind was completely blank for the first time in a very long time. The growing nervousness I felt every day Kai’s father was out of the office and I hadn't told him had disappeared. He now knew. Dad now knew who Kaiden's father was. I had written an email to Aria asking her to come to my city at her earliest convenience so that I could confess everything to her and hopefully rekindle the friendship that I had desperately missed. I had nothing to do as I sat and simply switched off. It was like I was sitting in the eye of the storm. Everything was blowing around me, but I was sitting calmly in the middle. Just as I poured myself a second glass of wine my cell rang. I answered it quickly, hoping the loud ring tone wouldn't wake Kaiden. “Lilith speaking.” There was a pause and I immediately knew who was calling me. “Lilith, i
The conversation I was just about to have was the most important one of my life. More important than the one where I told Kai he was the father. The way I handled this conversation had the ability to make or break a little boy’s heart and cause irreparable damage if not handled correctly. I was scared shitless for him, but at the same time, I was so excited. My little boy was getting a daddy, and I couldn't have been happier for him. As long as it all went smoothly. That morning, I asked Kaiden to join me in my bedroom. We sat down on my bed together, legs crossed, facing each other. I took one of his hands. “Remember we spoke about your daddy?” I started. "Yeah?" he replied hesitantly. I could tell by the pensive look on his face she knew there was something important coming. "And you know how I said he's been away doing a special job?" His face scrunched up as he tried to remember. “Yeah. You didn’t say what his job was.” “I
Kai was due to arrive at any moment and Kaiden was a ball of nervousness and excitement. He wasn’t the only one. While Kaiden decided to wear his best clothes, I opted for something casual. I had to admit that it was dressier than the worn-out t-shirt and jeans I usually wore. The ones he had seen me in a few days ago. After all, that day wasn’t about me, it was about my little boy. I couldn’t help but hope that Kai Rivera would feel something for me. Not for the girl he once liked but the person I was right now. I had applied a little makeup and donned on the pair of jeans I knew my ass looked phenomenal in. Before I knew it, there was a knock on the door. Kaiden looked up at me with uncertainty. “He’s here!” he whispered before wrapping his hands around one of mine, holding me tightly and preventing me from moving from the living room. “It will be okay, sweetie,” I replied, having no idea if the words would be true or not. We
I prepared dinner. The meal kept me occupied while the only man I had ever loved was upstairs with my son. Our son. Over dinner, Kaiden brought up the inevitable and asked if Kai would take him to school the next day.I knew he was a master negotiator and often used his charms to negotiate his way out of tricky situations, but I was interested to see how he was going to handle an eight-year-old.“You know how I come on the news often?” Kai asked.Kaiden nodded once.“Because of that, there are a lot of people who want to take my photo when I go outside. And if I go outside with you, they are going to want to take your photos as well.”Kaiden looked confused as to why that was a problem.“They are going to want to know who you are, and who your mom is and they are going to put those pictures in papers and magazines.”He nodded, but I could see that it was bothering him.“Now that I have