Chapter 45

He simply nodded to me in response. I felt my jaw drop as my eyes widened.

“So… If that’s the case… Then I don’t have to pretend in front of you just like whenever I am with Finn?” I exclaimed gladly as I felt like another rope on my neck was untangled. “It’s a good thing that you are aware of it.”

I really thought that I messed up letting those words slip through my mouth. Even though I feel completely upset with Jaxson, the agreement that we signed will never change.

“And, you have all the rights to feel emotions because you are a person. You have a heart, and a brain that controls it to feel love. Sometimes, we just have to accept that the person we love could never love us back the same way that we do.”

“Hmmm,” I grinned. “Where in the depth of your heart are you pulling those words, huh?” I teased him with a laugh as I poked his shoulders. “Do you already have someone you love?” I asked in curiosity.

“I do, but you know what? I can only be her lover. Just like you. She’s already into someone.” Gunther’s eyes were drawn into me and it seemed as if for a moment, our gazes locked. “And she's so madly in love with someone that is not me.”

We were jolted back to reality when Gunther withdrew his gaze. “Once the sun goes down, we have no choice but to go there. He may be looking for you.”

I cackled sarcastically. “I am a hundred percent sure that he won’t do that. I guess he never even thinks about me, and instead spends some quality time with his ex-pregnant-girlfriend, Daniella.” My eyes rolled in annoyance. “Though, I should care less. I’m not the one he really is in love with. So,” I shrugged my shoulders.

“Adorable.”

I winced because of what he uttered.

“—I mean, lover’s quarrels before the wedding? Phew, normal.” He added. “If you didn’t really wanna face him today, would you like to go somewhere else? You know, just to have a little escape before your wedding tomorrow.”

My nose scrunched as I backed away from him a little bit. “Why do you sound like one of my classmates? Where are you taking me if I ever come with you?”

“DeepBlue?” He asked as his lower lip rose a little with one of his brow lifted.

“You know that place?” I exclaimed in a high pitched voice. “That’s where I used to work!” My pique gradually dwindled just by hearing those words. “I will surely come with you! It’s great because I also promised Loren earlier that I will pay her a visit in DeepBlue.”

“Awesome.” He uttered. “And you don’t want to worry about going home by the way. I will not let you drink any alcoholic beverages. I just want to bring you there to where you used to be before your wedding tomorrow.”

I feel like the smiles on my face could tear my lips apart as it lifted to my ears.

I remember Charles to Gunther, he also does things like this to make me happy.

“Wipe your face once again before we go down there, alright?”

I gladly nodded, quickly taking the handkerchief from him.

“— If you resent seeing his face tonight then I’ll do you a favor. I’ll check the doors and hallway before you walk so we can make sure you won’t bump with him tonight.”

I nodded again with a deep sigh. “Let’s go…”

“No, wait.”

I was about to stand up when Gunther pulled my arm, making me back to my seat. I followed his hand with my eyes as it drew to my hand and took the handkerchief away from me.

“Right here…” His hand lifted to me as he gently dab it to the side of my face. 

I was stricken dumb just staring at his face when his eyes wandered to my lips. I feel like we were stuck in this position for a moment and none of us could let each other go.

“So this is what’s keeping you busy to ditch the meeting with the coordinators down in my office?”

Jaxson’s voice resonated across the room, nudging us back to our senses.

I watched as Gunther stood straight immediately, giving him a polite bow of respect.

When my eyes hoist to him, I felt as if all the anger came back to me and boiled my blood, making my entire body heat up.

I could feel my eyes narrowing as my feet deliberately walked past him without saying any word.

“Giving me this attitude when I should be the one scolding you? How can you ditch an important meeting and the only reason you can give me is that you are up here, spending some romantic quality time with your bodyguard!?” He yelled with frigid timber.

My feet halted, I really want to face him right now and shout everything that I am feeling inside me.

But I can’t.

I can’t let him know how I feel.

I gritted my teeth as I clenched my fist to contain my emotion. My steps were heavy as I continued walking without looking back at him.

If Charle’s life didn't depend on the relationship between the two of us, I could really break up with him right now. 

“Hello.” I tried greeting our wedding coordinators with a feigned smile, which both of them just reciprocated with a smile.

I saw Jaxson out of the corner of my eye, silently sitting on the chair next to me.

“So, as I promised yesterday Ms. Cattleya. I brought you more options of the-”

“No need.” I uttered in a flat tone. “Everything you showed yesterday to me was good and you don’t have to change any of it.”

“A-Are you sure, Ms. Cattleya?” She stammered as she lifted the papers on the table. “You can take a look at what we have here and—”

“I said it’s all good.” I slashed her words.

I know they have nothing to do with whatever it is that is happening to me right now. But, I just really don’t feel like talking to someone right now and my social battery is drained at the fullest. So even if I feel sorry to both of these ladies, I can’t do anything.

“O-Okay, Ms. Cattleya. What about the gowns that you want? We have few more options for you to see-”

“Which do you think is the prettiest among them?” I asked, 

Compared to yesterday, I don’t feel any excitement about this preparation at all.

“I would say, this number 3 is perfect.” 

“I liked it. Let’s go with that.” I quickly ordered without even looking at the papers she had laid out.

I just want everything to get done so I can come with Gunther and visit Loren at the DeepBlue which he promised. And also, I am starting to get lazy choosing all this to make our fake wedding perfect when Jaxson doesn't even give any interest to it.

Now that it is crystal clear to me how Jaxson never really cares about us and only to get the name of the Ruegold and his ex- pregnant- love affair, I think I’ll be able to do my job properly this time and work on myself more than watering my feelings to him and let it grow bigger.

Because in the end, only I will lose the battle.