Chapter 20

Chapter 20

Ashers P.O.V

I looked at the ceiling for as long as I could barely remember, I hated this awkward silence, I needed to start up a conversation.

“ You…” I tried saying something, but the words got stuck in my throat

“Damnit, why was I stuttering in front of her” I thought and why did I have to pretend as if I was asleep, just to avoid her?

"You...okay" was what came out of my mouth; I could hardly understand a word I said, but that is what came out.

“ Y..eah”Arabella said.

I turned away, my face burning with embarrassment. My mind raced with thoughts of Arabella, and how I'd treated her. Last night had changed everything. Scarlet's breakup, still fresh in my mind, made me see Arabella in a new light. But why was I stuttering in front of her? Why did my hands tremble when our eyes met?

I lay in bed, unable to sleep, as memories of our past encounters haunted me. Our first meeting, where I'd been cold and harsh. The first time she came to my house. And yesterday...oh God, yesterday. I'd humiliated her in public, on the day I was supposed to announce our relationship to the world, I made a big mess of it.

I tossed and turned, trying to shake off the guilt, but it only seemed to suffocate me more. My thoughts were a jumbled mess, filled with regret and shame. I couldn't believe how I'd treated her and how much of an asshole I was. The hurtful words I'd call at her - "whore" - simply because she'd been with my brother. How could I have been so cruel?

I buried my face in the pillow, consumed by my mistakes. I couldn't face her. But I knew I had to. I had to make things right, somehow. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my racing thoughts. But they only seemed to get worse, taunting me with what I'd done. I turned to look at her, but she wasn't sleeping, the thought of apologizing came to my mind but I Asher Blackhood wasn't one to apologize, I cleared my throat.

“I..i..” I could pass through my first word, I began again.

“ I hate the hospital,” I said. I couldn't bring myself to say sorry, maybe trying to start on a fresh page would be better, maybe being vulnerable would be better, we could connect, this was what always happened in the movie.

“ It reminds me, of a moment, I would want to erase completely from my life, so each time I come to the hospital, it feels like I am trapped in that moment,” I said, wondering what the hell was I saying.

“ oh, damnit, why the hell was I telling her my problems”. I thought

“I know you will be wondering why I am saying this,” I said “ Shit, why can't I keep my mouth shut” I cursed under my breath.

“ Am I talking too much, just never mind, all I want to say is i…i…so…rr.y” I finally said, as I turned to face the other side feeling like a fool.

“ I…hate the hospital too,” she said.

“ It reminds me of my brother's death and each time I come to the hospital, I get reminded of the fact that I caused his death,” she said, I could see that she was struggling not to cry.

“ Me too, the hospital reminds me of my..mo.. m's death” The word mom felt so strange to me.

“ I see her whenever I come to the hospital and it always gives me a panic attack, for the fear of her coming back or the fear of what she has said to me coming to reality ” I said, I had never been this vulnerable to anyone apart from Scarlet and I hated being vulnerable, I just wanted this to end, talking about Mrs. Blackhood, sent chills to my body and the fact that I had somehow caused her death made it all worse, speaking of death, I see could not wrap my hand on what Arabella was trying to do when I walked entered her father's room.

I looked at her, wondering how to ask the question.

“ I have been meaning to ask you this since, what were you trying to do before I came in, you, your dad, and his oxygen mask? ” I asked, I knew she knew what I was talking about.

She paused for a while before she continued.

“ I honestly don't know, all my life I had grown up seeing my father as a torment to me, he had made sure my life was a living hell after my brother's death and the thought of seeing him dead had crossed my mind,” she said as tears rolled down her red cheeks.

“ Oh my, I have been a very bad daughter,” she said as she cried.

Hearing her talk about her father made me realize we had one thing in common, a bad parent, mine was a bad mom, hers was a bad dad and I wanted to comfort her. I stood up from my bed and moved to hers, as I bent down.

“ is okay, you are not the …” I went on and on talking, I barely could register the words I was saying, what caught my attention was her pink lips, and the thought of my lips meeting it, was what had consumed me, I stopped whatever I was saying and moved closer to her, so close enough that I could feel the hotness of her breath, my lips close to her, I watch as she closed her eyes, anticipating what I would do next, my heart raced as our lips met, soft and gentle at first, but growing more urgent with each passing moment. Her mouth was a whisper of sweetness, a promise of something more. I deepened the kiss, my arms wrapping around her, I felt her fingers tangling in my hair, her body pressing closer, and her lips parting slightly, inviting me in once again. I accepted the invitation, our tongues exchanged saliva, and my arms carefully moved up to her breast, squeezing it softly, as she let out a moan. I didn't stop there. I gently pushed her to the bed, for I wanted more of her and I could feel she wanted more of me. My hand swiftly went to unzip her clothes, my lips still on her but a knock at the door interrupte