Chapter 18

Ashers POV

I stood frozen at the hospital entrance, my feet seemingly rooted to the spot. Thirty minutes ticked by, and still, I hesitated. Memories of the last experience I had in the hospital came into my mind like a nightmare I had been trying all my life to run away from.

"Damnit," I cursed under my breath, my eyes screwed shut in frustration. “Why did hospitals always have to bring back the fear? And why on earth, was I here?”

I took a deep breath, trying to steady my pounding heart and my trembling fingers.

"I'll just hop in and hop out, I would barely spend up to ten minutes," I whispered to myself, trying to assure myself that it was no big deal.

But it was all futile as my heart beat faster than usual, it felt as if it would burst free from my chest any moment from now. My hands trembled, and my legs felt like jelly. But I knew I had to do this. I had to see her, to check on her father and more importantly to appease my father, he would create a big issue out of this. I have been on his bad books lately and this shouldn't be added to the list of things I have done.

With a racing heart, I pushed open the door and stepped into the hospital. The familiar antiseptic smell welcomed me, as the familiar surroundings of the hospital brought painful memories, memories flooded my mind, memories of rushing Mrs. Blackhood, I never called her mom, she never liked that - to this very hospital, praying she'd be okay. I felt a cold shiver, as I could picture the sight of her covered in blood.

“ You are going to be alright, I won't spend up to five minutes here, just hop in and hop out,” I said again while trying to convince myself as I headed to the waiting room as directed by the nurse. I entered the room, and my eyes scanned the space, searching for Arabella. Instead, I found my father, fast asleep, and her mom, eyes puffy and tear-stained, also asleep.

“ Phew” I breathed a sigh of relief, “ my work here seems to have come to an end, maybe I would send Arabella a text message to Arabella, telling her how I came but I didn't see her, I brought out my phone to give her a text, while heading out of the waiting room.

But then, a nurse approached me, her voice chipper and annoying. "Good evening, sir! You must be Mr. Blackhood, Mrs Arabella's husband?", She asked, not waiting for an answer she continued immediately, “ She is this way’ she pointed to a door, which I didn't bother to look at, for I wasn't going to bother heading there.

“ Never mind," I said, while I tried to leave but she stopped me.

“ Mrs. Arabella has been in the room for some time and I wonder what poor Mrs. Arabella would be going through, she barely had any strength …” She went on and on about poor Mrs. Arabella, I just rolled my eyes, Nurses and not minding their business seemed to have a common trait..

Where is she?" I asked my voice tight with anxiety. I bit my lip, eager to get this over with. The delay was unbearable, and I could feel goosebumps rising on my skin. I just wanted to escape the hospital and its suffocating atmosphere.

The nurse pointed to a room, and I felt a sense of déjà vu as I headed towards it. Why did this feel so familiar? I pushed open the door, and my heart sank. Arabella sat beside her father, her hand on the oxygen mask as if she wanted to rip it off. And then it hit me - this was Mrs. Blackhood's room. The same room where I had spent countless hours worrying, and hoping she would be okay, the same she died in.

My mind raced as I took in the scene before me. Arabella's eyes met mine,

“ Oh you are here” she asked, looking all shocked.

"I...I came… as …as soon as I heard the news," I stammered, my voice barely audible as I was gasping for air, my lungs felt as if it was suffocating. I tried to maintain a firm composure, but the memories of my last moment with my mom, Mrs. Blackhood, came flooding back.

The pain was too much. I could feel my entire body shaking like a leaf, my heart beating more than usual, as her words to me kept coming back "You bastards get out of here, you are not my son" kept echoing in my mind I pictured her in the bed, not Arabella's father, as her words repeated in my head “you are not my son”

A strand of sweat trickled down my head to my neck and I felt very dizzy, like I was going to pass out. I bent down a bit, trying to calm myself down and steady my breath which came in short gasps, which made me feel like I was suffocating. It felt like I was dying like my heart was being ripped out of my chest, the room was already fading away completely.

"I am your son," I whispered, over and over again as if trying to convince myself that she was just lying, tears streamed down my face. I felt like I was losing my grip on reality, the room was fading away from me.

Then, a gentle hand covered my ears, and a soft voice shouted, "Nurse, help! Please help!"

“Calm down… Asher," she whispered, her breath warm against my ear. "Shut the voices in your head, breathe in and out slowly. Don't panic.", she said as she hummed trying to calm me down, we stayed for some seconds, and I could feel her soft hands on my ears which magically shut every voice in my head and the sound of her warm breathing soothed me, I turned to look at her, her pink lips drew me in, if only I could kiss it but I was interrupted by footsteps, someone came in

“ What is wrong?” the person asked, it sounded like Arlo, he asked panting.

The nurse followed after him, as the nurse took me out.

I could hear Arlo telling Arabella how he came as soon as he heard the news.