He’s not Jewish, Bubbe.”“Why not?”“What do you mean why not?” Rachel cut in. “Because he’s not! And I’ve got news for you. It doesn’t matter! I married a nice Jewish guy.” Oh no! Here we go! “A doctor! Top of the freaking Jewish food chain. And do you know where he is now? Shacking up with a twenty-three-year-old shiksa! That’s where he is now!”“Well, were you keeping him happy in bed?” Bubbe asked, and I started to“Ma!” my mother cut in. “How could you ask that? You’re not gonna blame her because her husband cheated on her?!”“I’ll bet you any money she didn’t give him oral attention,” Bubbe announced.“Uh! I don’t think we should…” I tried.“Excuse me! But a lot of women simply do not enjoy performing o**l s*x! I mean guys pee out of that thing!” Rachel shouted.“See? What did I tell you?” Bubbe looked smug.“Dan, maybe we should check on dinner,” I said desperately.“Uh,” he replied. I grabbed his hand and dragged him into the kitchen where Ira was still talking dry cleaning an
After dinner everyone retired to the parlor and my father did something extraordinarily kind; he suggested that since Dan and I enjoyed walking so much, we should go out for a stroll around the neighborhood before it got dark. I loved my dad! We headed out into the warm New York evening holding hands.“So I’m sure you’ve been to New York many times, but this is my neighborhood.”“I love this. These homes have so much character. This city has so much character.” He was looking around and taking it all in.“I think so too! Whenever I was feeling depressed about something I would take a walk and remind myself that I lived in one of the most exciting, must cultural, most interesting cities in the world and it would cheer me up.” I smiled and took it all in.“You really love it.” He smiled.“I do!”“So why did you move to Philly?”“I wanted some space from my family so I could learn how to be a grown-up. Besides, I like Philly too, even more now.” I squeezed his hand.We talked about what
You are not going to believe this, Hannah!”“Well hello to you too. The trip is going very well, thanks.”“Yeah, that’s good. Listen! You are not going to believe this!”“So you said. What is it I’m not going to believe?”“I think that maybe she’s a hooker!”“What?!”“Well, technically, I guess you would call her a call girl because she met rich-looking guys at the best hotels in Philly. She went in, met them in either the lobby or the lounge, got into the elevator with them and then left again, usually about a half an hour or an hour later. She met four different guys in four different hotels.”“Are you sure that’s what she’s doing?”“No. Maybe she’s a freelance chambermaid.”“Oh wow. Why would Layla be hooking if her family’s rich?” I wondered out loud.“Maybe they cut her off.”“That’s an interesting idea. That would make her pretty desperate to land a rich husband, wouldn’t it?”“Maybe even desperate enough to try to scare off someone’s girlfriend.”“Hmm. I wonder if Layla’s as cr
Mom, we’re not breaking up because of some stupid letter!”“If anything, we feel like she’s safer with you, Dan. If you had been dating longer I would suggest you move in together,” my dad said with a sigh.“You sure you didn’t send this?” I asked dryly.“That’s not funny, Hannah,” my mom chastised. She was “Hannah” me. Ma was stressed.“Maybe you should spend more time at my place,” Dan suggested.“Should I bring my dog?” I asked with a smile.“Alright, I’m going to go call Lou,” my father announced.“Why are you calling your lawyer? Do you need investment advice?”“I just feel like he should be in on this. Maybe he knows some cops.”“Dad, he’s a corporate lawyer. Dan here is a prosecutor. Don’t you think he might get a little further?”“Good point. Dan, let’s go into the study and make some calls.”“Okay, Ben. I’m going to call some people in Philly too and have them coordinate with New York.”“Good idea.”Ben and Dan were on it. I went off to find the crossword puzzle. I’ll be hone
It kept getting better and better too. We had learned a lot more about how and where each other liked to be touched which was one of the big perks to familiarity. I found that getting him all worked up was about the most empowering, flat-out most arousing thing I had ever experienced. I loved how his eyes got darker when he wanted me. I loved the look on his face when he slid inside me. I loved the hot sexy things he said to me when our bodies were moving together, and I loved the way that he groaned and said my name when he came. I also loved how afterward, we always laid in bed snuggled up and talking.“I’m sorry that we didn’t get to do all that fun stuff we had planned,” I said.“I had a great time. Given, I would have preferred that you hadn’t gotten a harassing letter, and we didn’t have to speak to the police and the FBI for a couple of hours, but the rest of the time was fun.”“I’m just not all that worried, Dan. I do think it is just somebody harassing me. I know it’s weird t
Great,” Cam said without much enthusiasm.“What? You would have rather been a pirate?”“Maybe.” He smiled. “Would you be a wench?”“It doesn’t matter what we are, actually, since we’re just dressing up in case something goes wrong and we have to try to get in or at least blend in outside this place. I should probably pick out something dominatrix-like too though.”How to Lay Sod in Your Yard During Summer“Anyway,” he continued, “I set up a special e-mail account and I’ll get the location of the party and a code that morning. That night we’ll show up at nine and they give the doorman the code. They go in and from there it’s just like a cocktail party except that there are rooms where people have sex and do kinky things publicly and there are other rooms where they can do them privately if they prefer. He said that we could expect to see about twenty people there.”“What if Cole’s with somebody?” Jess asked.“Then you’ll have to distract her. Maybe Mark…”“Could solicit a prostitute?”
“I arranged for doggy day care,” he answered.“Doggy day care? Are you serious?”“There’s a place right on the way to work. You can drop him off in the morning and pick him up on the way home. He’ll have other dogs to play with and the people there will walk him.”“Did you check these people out? I mean are they a good place? The bigger dogs wouldn’t pick on him, would they?” I couldn’t help it. I’m a mother.“More importantly, can they get him into the right colleges?” Cam added. Dan and I gave him an unamused look.“I checked them out. They have a good reputation.”“Well, okay, I guess. You’re going to help me take care of him, though, right? It’s not going to be ‘go ask mommy’ whenever he wants something?”“Mommy?” Ava asked, returning with Bruno tucked under her arm and one of her slippers in his mouth.“And are you Daddy?” Cam asked Dan with a smile.“Of course he is! What are you implying?” I asked indignantly. Ava and Cam gave each other a look that clearly said they thought Da
“Well, dearest, that sounds like a sound plan for the future.” I felt myself starting to sweat and my panties got damp. The Astros struck out and the game was over within minutes. Our friends stretched and stood up. My heart started racing as they headed for the door.“Thanks for inviting us along,” Cam added.“We do it every Sunday night. Come whenever you want,” Dan said. That was definite progress.“I guess we’ll play it by ear next week?” Fred asked.“We’ll be back in time,” Adam said.“But Dan might be busy making up for the loss of his Saturday night sex.”Cam offered to walk Ava home and we said our goodnights as everyone left, shutting the door behind them.Dan turned to me with his hot look and I was up against the wall in seconds with his mouth on mine, his tongue exploring possessively. His hand traveled up under my shirt and into my bra where he gently squeezed my nipple and cupped my breast. Then the other hand traveled under my skirt and into my panties, where he began s