I stood in front of the jury delivering my closing argument in a shoplifting case that my client had insisted on taking to trial against my advice and despite my begging. “Ladies and gentlemen, we live in a country where every citizen has a right to trial by his peers. The prosecution must carry its burden of proof beyond a reasonable doubt, the highest legal standard of proof possible in this great country of ours. We are here today because my client is a citizen, and he has a right to a trial if he wants one.” We lawyers often couldn’t let people know what we were really thinking. I often pictured the things that I would like to say and do, though, and I called those thoughts “inner-,” for lack of a better term. Right now inner- was sighing and rolling her eyes because I was breaking out the old “right to a trial defense” again. It's what we public defenders did when we found ourselves addressing a jury without the one thing that would come in most handy under the circumstances –
I don’t doubt it,” he said with a cocky grin. “I think that confronting you could be very dangerous.” “I just hope they threw the grapes away,” Mr. Hills said, completely snapping me out of my lust-fueled reverie. I had finished straightening up my own papers, so I started straightening up everyone else’s papers too. I was tidying up the whole damned courtroom and Mr. Hills was watching me do it with an extremely amused look on his face. I wondered what he was thinking — probably, “I wonder if she’s off her meds.” The jury was back in ten minutes. Shockingly, they didn't believe Mr. Hills . I went back to my office in defeat. Hannah went out for a drink. I sat there preparing my cases for the next day. I had to figure out a way to convince a six foot five, three hundred pound biker named “Tiny” that nobody was going to believe that he had just “found” 27 thirty-inch HD flat screen televisions in an alley behind his apartment. One had to tread lightly when telling someone like Tiny
Yeah maybe for an extremely short-term relationship, like however long it would take to screw me. I don’t want to have a one night stand with a guy I face in court every day. To tell you the truth, I don’t really want to have a one night stand with anybody, no matter how hot they are.” “So maybe he’d be willing to invest more than one night for you. We should ask Dan.” Dan Hills was a fellow public defender who had been friends with Mr. Hills and Mr.Fox in law school. They had managed to remain close even though they worked on opposite sides of the courtroom now. Together they were probably the three sexiest guys and the three biggest womanizers in the Philadelphia criminal court system, but Dan was still pretty cool just to hang out with, and he and Ava were really good friends. “No! He would say something to him and then if you were wrong I would feel so embarrassed that I wouldn’t be able to do my job. Besides, he would see me as just another one of his groupies and I want him to
Uh huh. Mr. Hills, what do you have to say?” the judge asked. “Your Honor, nobody discards twenty-seven HD flat screen TVs.” “You know, Mr. Hills , I'm inclined to agree. All charges held for trial.” Judge Channing banged his gavel and Tiny was escorted away by two rather wary-looking deputies. I was fairly sure Tiny wasn't anybody's bitch in the jail. I headed back to the defense table again. “You were right. That was pretty good,” Mr. Hills said, handing me the order again. His hand brushed against mine this time and I jumped like I had just stuck my finger in a socket. He looked at me like I might be really be dangerous after all. Nice, Hannah – very subtle. “I predict that I'll be breaking out the 'right to a trial defense’ again,” I said, trying to not act any weirder than I already was. “You don't think he'll be willing to plead guilty?” “Probably not. He firmly believes that claiming to be a complete idiot will get him off.” “You're very funny,” he said, leaning against
You think I have a saucy mouth huh?” I decided that now was as good a time as any if I wanted to try my hand at some flirting. “What do you think of my mouth, Dan?” I asked, turning to him. By some small miracle I actually managed to sound calm and even a bit playful. The guardian angel of the socially awkward was obviously smiling down on me. “I rather like it,” he answered with a flirtatious smile, as his eyes very obviously dropped to my lips, this time in a practiced way that probably had women dropping their panties for him left and right under other circumstances. I heard some suggestive laughter and there were a few comments from his friends that I didn't quite catch – probably for the best. Dusty Springfield was singing Son of a Preacher Man in the background and it helped to set the saucy mood. “There you go, Mr. Fox,” I said, as I walked over to stand right in front of him, leaned down, and looked him directly in the eye, our faces inches apart. “Some men can obviously han
Best, Dan Hills. Assistant District Attorney. Oh shit! He was flirting back – big time! Now what? I hadn’t planned this far ahead. Actually, I hadn’t planned at all. I was winging it and flying blind here. While I desperately tried to think of how to answer that, a round of tequila shots arrived at our table along with salt and lime. “Salud,” Ava said and downed her tequila. I remembered again why I didn't usually go out with my colleagues on Friday nights. When there were more than two hundred lawyers in your office someone was always winning a trial. “Viva Mexico,” I said and drank mine distractedly in one swallow. “Take mine, Hannah.” “I can’t, Fred. I hardly ever drink anymore and I just had two cups of beer and downed a shot of tequila within less than half an hour.” “You’re not driving. Don’t waste it. There are people going to bed sober tonight all over the world.” “Fine. Speedy ,” I said making the only other Mexican-themed toast that popped into my head, and drank hi
So, you really think that Mr. Player over there might agree to date me?” “Anything’s possible. Take off your jacket, by the way.” “Why? The air conditioning is set to subarctic.” “Just do it. All the booze you’ve been drinking should keep you warm.” I slid my suit jacket off, hanging it on the back of my chair. I was a little self-conscious because the white sleeveless shell I had on underneath was snug, and it made me look like a waitress at Hooters, but the beer and tequila were really kicking in and so my self-consciousness was diminishing rapidly. Alcohol will do that too. “What if he still isn’t interested in anything but a one night stand though?” I asked. I had a quick flashback to my humiliating college experience. “I sense much awkwardness on the horizon.” “Then he isn’t interested. You didn’t ask him out. He asked you to hook up and you turned him down but said you might consider dating him. Big deal. Now let your hair down.” “What, am I going to bed?” “Maybe – depend
I could feel the expectant looks of everyone else at the table focused on me as they waited for me to answer. As usual, Mr. Hills had made me a fair offer. I didn’t really care what we did, to be honest. Frankly, I would have been willing to watch ping pong with the entire DA’s office to spend time with him. Hell, I would probably have played ping pong with the entire DA’s office to spend time with him. I took my time and held his gaze. Neither one of us was going to look away first. In the background April Skies by the Jesus and Mrs Fox played. This had to be the coolest jukebox ever. “It's a deal,” I said finally. I had gotten what I had asked for. I was jumping on this opportunity before I lost my chance. I reached into my purse, grabbed my cell and handed it to him. He called his phone with it and we both typed in the contact info. “The only thing is that I have to pick up my brother at Georgetown Sunday morning and move him back home, so I can’t stay out too late tomorrow.” “O
Then marry me.” Huh?“Did you just ask me to marry you?”“Yes. And believe me, it never would have occurred to me that one day I would be proposing in front of four other people to someone dressed as a dominatrix. Yet here I find myself. And the fact that I’m still standing here extending this offer should tell you something, Hannah.”“It does!” I smiled with incredible, almost irrational, joy as I felt the tears completely filling my eyes. “I thought that my dad was the only guy in the world romantic enough to knowingly marry into pure insanity just because he really loved somebody.”“So is that a yes?”“Yes!” I ran over to him and hugged him tightly. I heard a yip and Bruno ran over and started humping Braden’s leg.“Mazel tov. Does this mean you’re going to convert?” Adam asked.“Who cares about that? Does it mean you’re not going to kill me?”Fred wanted to know.“What it means is that Hannah won’t be digging through garbage or attending underground sex parties anymore. Well, unles
My car!” I cried.“Are you sure this is where you parked it?”“Yes!” I could hear voices in the distance. “What the f**k?! Why are they still looking for you?”“Hannah, this is an illegal gathering and there are important people here. We just snuck out the f**king window. That may cause them some“Well, then we have no choice.” I took out my phone.“Who are you calling?” Cam asked.“The police. We’re about to give them an anonymous tip.” I called it in and we set off on foot trying to get as far away as possible before the cops arrived and raided the place. We ran until we were all out of breath. Finally, we paused to rest in an alleyway.“Okay,” Fred panted. “I say we call a cab from here.”“Hey! Isn’t that your car?!” Ava cried. I looked up. It was the Mini Cooper about three blocks away! Somebody had just boosted it for a joyride! We ran toward it and dove in. I pulled away with my tires squealing and headed home. Fifteen minutes later the four of us, bedraggled and sweating, were
We arrived near the location of the party, an abandoned warehouse down by the docks. It was a rough neighborhood, so I was armed with pepper spray. We took my car and parked it several blocks away as we went over everything one last time.“Okay, you guys have the code and we watched the video of Cole online a thousand times, so hopefully you’ll be able to recognize him,” I said.“I’m going to walk up to him and tell him he’s a bad boy and needs to be punished,” Ava said.“I’ll stay near you the whole time,” Fred assured her“I get him to write ‘I’ve been a bad little boy because’ and then tell him to list the reasons.”“If he won’t do it you tell him you’ll spank him with your ruler,” I added.“We get the sample and we get the hell out of Dodge,” Fred finished.“We’re here if you need us and we can come in to help you if necessary,” Cam offered.“We’ll try to stay in touch by phone as much as possible,” Ava said.“Okay, team. I think it’s go time. I just want to thank you all for doin
“Hey Dan! Are you done with your phone sex yet?”“You can come in!” Dan called out. I thought I heard a door close. “I didn’t expect to see you back here tonight.”“I gotta sleep, man. Besides, I couldn’t remember her name and it felt kind of awkward after she gave me such a great…”“Still on the phone here, dude,” Dan interrupted.“You’re still on the f**king phone? You just saw her this morning. You might as well just hand her your balls right now.” Then in a louder voice he called out, “Hi Hannah!”“Please tell Adam that I said hello and that I can hear him even when he’s not shouting.”“She said hello and she can hear everything you’re saying.”“Terrific. So your girlfriend knows that I’m a dick.”“She knew that that already,” Dan replied.“Did you tell her you missed her?”“I think I got this, Adam.”“Did you tell you love her?”“I really don’t need your help here.”“Ah, Dan’s in love,” Adam teased. “All the women at the G Lounge are probably crying into their vodka.”“Will you p
It took some searching but we finally found what we needed at a place called Tony’s Fantasy Land. It was a little scary finding out what other people fantasized about.“Who has fantasies about being a tampon?” Ava asked, looking over a long white fleece tube.“People are weird,” I answered.“Wasn’t there a member of the royal family years ago?” Cam asked.“Don’t talk about it. The poor man will never live that down,” I replied.“What in the hell is that?” I asked.“I believe that’s a dildo, in size,” Cam checked a label, “men’s extra-large.”“I think I see a pattern here,” Jess offered.“Newsflash, men fantasize about being inside women’s vaginas,” I said dryly.“Oh look! A naughty nurse costume. I think I like that one,” Cam said with a smile.“I don’t think it would fit you.” Ava laughed.“A nun?” I asked.“To a priest that might be pretty enticing,” Cam explained.“Hmm. Here’s your pirate suit, Cam,” I teased.“And here’s a wench costume. Which one of you wants to put it on for me?
It wasn’t dangerous.”“Hannah, anything could be dangerous right now. You know that. And you wound up crawling around in a dumpster. I really don’t want you doing things like that anymore.” He didn’t want me doing things like this anymore? Who was he, my dad?“Oh? And you’ll never go out to a crime scene or go out to interview a witness in the field huh?”“I’m a guy,” he said, like that explained everything.“So. Female prosecutors do it too.”“Yeah, but they’re not my girlfriend and they’re not getting harassing letters.” He was starting to sound annoyed.“They probably get lots of harassing letters.”“Okay, have I mentioned that they’re not my girlfriend?” He was definitely sounding annoyed now.“Even before the letter, you were worrying about me going into lock-up to interview clients charged with violent crimes.”“Because you could get hurt and there are plenty of male public defenders who could do it.”“But I can do it and it’s my job to do it. Next you’ll be telling me that you
Uh, Playboy, Penthouse, cigars, Scotch. Actually, if you find that stuff let me know. I think I want to hang out with that guy.”“Well, what kind of stuff would a woman have that a guy wouldn’t?” I was getting desperate.“Tampons!” Ava yelled and clapped her hands like she was on Family Feud.“Will you be quiet?” I hissed. “The point is we can figure out within maybe five cans which one is hers. It looks like there’s an alley over there and there are street lights. I say we carry the cans back there and figure out which one it is.”“Okay, good luck with that. I’m the lookout, remember?” Cam said, walking away.“I’m the driver,” Ava chimed in.“And I’m the trash picker. Yes, I recall the conversation, but I need your help carrying it back there.” They sighed and both of them went over and picked up a can and hauled it back to the alley. I picked one up too and we soon had five cans back there. We had placed them directly under a street light and I opened the lid and started going throu
“Well, dearest, that sounds like a sound plan for the future.” I felt myself starting to sweat and my panties got damp. The Astros struck out and the game was over within minutes. Our friends stretched and stood up. My heart started racing as they headed for the door.“Thanks for inviting us along,” Cam added.“We do it every Sunday night. Come whenever you want,” Dan said. That was definite progress.“I guess we’ll play it by ear next week?” Fred asked.“We’ll be back in time,” Adam said.“But Dan might be busy making up for the loss of his Saturday night sex.”Cam offered to walk Ava home and we said our goodnights as everyone left, shutting the door behind them.Dan turned to me with his hot look and I was up against the wall in seconds with his mouth on mine, his tongue exploring possessively. His hand traveled up under my shirt and into my bra where he gently squeezed my nipple and cupped my breast. Then the other hand traveled under my skirt and into my panties, where he began s
“I arranged for doggy day care,” he answered.“Doggy day care? Are you serious?”“There’s a place right on the way to work. You can drop him off in the morning and pick him up on the way home. He’ll have other dogs to play with and the people there will walk him.”“Did you check these people out? I mean are they a good place? The bigger dogs wouldn’t pick on him, would they?” I couldn’t help it. I’m a mother.“More importantly, can they get him into the right colleges?” Cam added. Dan and I gave him an unamused look.“I checked them out. They have a good reputation.”“Well, okay, I guess. You’re going to help me take care of him, though, right? It’s not going to be ‘go ask mommy’ whenever he wants something?”“Mommy?” Ava asked, returning with Bruno tucked under her arm and one of her slippers in his mouth.“And are you Daddy?” Cam asked Dan with a smile.“Of course he is! What are you implying?” I asked indignantly. Ava and Cam gave each other a look that clearly said they thought Da