I WAS COMPLETELY silent as I hid inside Alec’s bathroom. There were several valuables all around the sink, shaving cream, a toothbrush, hand soaps, and towels.Was he right here earlier but had to leave immediately without even having the chance to return these things in the right places? If that is really the case, what’s happening right now is serious and urgent.As I looked around the surroundings, I couldn’t help but pick out his things one by one.“How old is this man? He couldn’t even look after his things…” I mumbled. I had been holding my phone in my hands and decided to put it inside my pockets. Glancing at the phone screen a few times was enough to prove that Callan really didn’t call. He might not have plans to. Ever again.The chopper that arrived earlier was carrying Callan’s father. There could only be two reasons for that. One would be because he wants to talk to Aunt Yna and Uncle Mariano or that the ravij already knew that I am hiding in here for the meantime, after a
AS ALEC PACED back and forth inside his room, he looked at me before he jumped onto his bed. When he twisted his body, he was already holding the gun with both of his hands. His back landed on the soft sheets of his bed. He aimed the gun at the ceiling. Then tilting his face to the side to look at me. “Do you know how to use a gun, Esmé?” Alec’s movements were so fast that I didn’t anticipate what he would do next. I almost leaped from my position when I heard him ask a question. “Um… never held one. I do know how it works. Several people already aimed one at me. I also saw its bullets directly pierced through my mother’s body. There was blood all over the floor… and my mother was on the brink of losing consciousness. I wasn’t sure if she died. Because I left our house to seek help when I came back, everything was already burnt to the ground,” saying that without pause made Alec's eyes widen. He must not have expected that. I was not planning to share the whole story with him. Just
THE FOOTSTEPS finally stopped bustling right outside Alec’s room. Voices echoed, starting from Aunt Yna’s voice followed by another. “My son! Alec, are you okay?” “Mom!” Alec got up and stood up straight. We looked at each other and shared the same horrified eyes. “If you won’t hide now, they’ll discover that you are here.” Alec’s voice was laced with worry—not for himself though, because he managed to walk to the door and grasped it shut. Was it for me? I gulped and nodded. I let go of the gun and left it on the chair. The shattered vase lay on the floor, untouched. Hiding was the first thing that came to my mind amid the hammering on my chest. I was nervous not because of the chaos I had made but because I never ever thought I could bring myself to do what I had just done. I fired a gun for the first time! And Alec said it was already a bulls-eye. Inhaling a very deep breath, I stared at my shaking hands as I turned from Alec and was about to open the door to the bathroom. Only
WITH WIDE EYES, I stepped backwards as soon as Callan leaned over towards me. His head rested on my shoulder for a few seconds but I was quick to move away from him and slapped his cheek with my right hand. It created a loud thud. My palm throbbed as it made contact with Callan’s skin and jaw. We were both baffled by what I had just done. Staring at each other not knowing how to address the situation.“I… I deserve that,” Callan said with the weight of regret, admitting his guilt for something he has done.Callan’s cheek where my palm had landed with force turned slightly red. I was holding my breath, each second that passed as I was drowning by the loud erratic beats of my heart. Did I really just slap Callan?Oh my goodness! Resurfacing emotions had removed all inhibitions left in me, I did not manage to pretend I was patient enough to tolerate more of Callan’s attempt or reconciliation as if every time he makes a mistake, it will all be pardoned because he is the ravij’s first so
CALLAN whispered a few words. All of which seemed faint muffled noises in my ears. Maybe because my chest has been hammering loudly ever since we stood right beside each other talking. It felt different knowing that I was in the presence of the same man I had just known months ago, but the way I feel for him right now has already become different. Looking at Callan, he was beyond that reserved rude arrogant businessman in his suit. He would never become a stranger ever again. Because just by looking at him, my emotions could already define all the ways I managed to get to know him in person more than others would be willing to try. I knew that familiar gaze he gives when he thinking about something, when he is in awe or troubled. Most especially when he was sad. Just like this moment. I gathered the strength left in me and touched the growing stubble on the sides of his cheek surrounding his jaw. With that soft caress, I saw him heaved a soft breath as he closed his eyes. It felt li
I ASSUMED Callan would dismiss what I had just said. But no. Instead, he took a very deep breath and muttered my name. “Esmé…” As he began talking, I kept looking at him as if his words were the ones that would give me the clarity that I longed for so long. “I know we first had an agreed set-up about this whole fiasco. A marriage for my safety. And a wife to repair your tainted reputation in front of your maternal relatives. But you said… something has changed…” Despite the signs of anxiety crawling onto my skin, I kept looking at Callan like his expression—the look of longing in his eyes would disappear. “Are you referring to us when you said that? Or I w-was I just having a delusion?” Something warm snaked through my waist. “Just tell me if you feel uncomfortable…” Callan whispered. He couldn’t keep his hands off me, it turned out. But I was swayed knowing that he was trying. Even if I knew that deep inside, I wanted him to hold me and never let go. I wanted to ask Callan if his
TENSION FILLED the surrounding air and I almost choked in an attempt to answer Callan’s father. Everyone was looking at me, but my eyes were glued to the serious gaze of the suspicious eyes of a mafia boss. I gulped, screaming for help inside my head. But Callan stood up right in front of me and hid me with his chest. “Father… it was not Esmé’s fault.” “Then is it yours?” Callan’s father was so direct in asking his next question, that it was impossible to come up with an immediate answer, even Callan knew that. “Y-Yes…” “What did you do, son? Did you hit her?” Everybody got silent. I shrugged my head so fast it almost hurt. “No, sir.” Callan looked at me and caressed my hair. “I’ve got to do a lot of things for my wife to make up for what I did.” Don Thoron cleared his throat. “Remember we don’t hit innocent women. But we kill traitors.” There was a gray line in that statement. With that grin on his lips carved with lines from old age, I knew he meant what he said. Did that me
CALLAN AND I gazed at each other, no one looked away as if we were already too comfortable under each other’s sight. Even though everybody sitting around the table had their focus solely on us. No one feared.I did not mutter an answer to Callan’s question. But it was enough to let me think… would that be possible? Would love to give me the will to keep living?It felt scary to look away like a single glance from afar and one of us would disappear.Callan’s father cleared his throat as he proceeded with his instructions for us. “Tomorrow shall be the only time we’ll get to pause in planning for the counterattack. Callan, as the underboss of the organization you’ll be the head of our forces. Capo Mariano will be the first lieutenant, you can pick the first in command for our soldiers. The associates would back us up on the back end, as they would organize riots on the streets patrolled by the Cato Clan. And Esme… I will talk to the consigliere about the matter regarding your mother. We
Growing up, I have had a sense of good and bad in the world. I learned that people make choices and sometimes they make bad actions, which makes other people label them bad. Yet, there’s more to people being and choosing to do bad things. I had never seen people do the most brutal bad things until I saw men barge into our house and fired bullets at my father’s already dead body. And my mother—which wounded my soul to the point of not even knowing if I could ever get back on my feet once again, only to discover that I have been betrayed by my own mother. She’s already dead. For real this time. I have not forgiven her, but I have learned to move forward. But the sudden turn of events of my life allowed me to grow in ways I wouldn’t have imagined and led me to the arms of the man that I could trust, fight, and grow old with. And today’s our 5th wedding anniversary. Even if we had to go through hell and fight for our lives, it led us to this paradise that I wouldn’t trade for anyth
TWO MONTHS after staying in our new house in Chicago, I have grown much closer to my husband. Our routine was basically waking up and preparing meals for us both. On some days, he’ll be joining me in the chicken, and on other days, he’ll still be there but will be doing work on his laptop. Callan had been hands-on in collecting real estate properties in our area as part of the expansion project of Chevalier Holdings. I love staring at Callan as he gets lost in his work, conducting meetings with his colleagues. While I cook in the kitchen and prepare snacks for him. Then I would get lost in doing my own tasks as well. On these days, I have seen Callan in every mundane moment that I could think of and I have loved him more. The way we lay in each other’s arms around evening after all our tasks are accomplished it certainly felt like home. Ever since I lost my family, I have learned that life must go on even if you feel like the world has just collapsed on your shoulders. A significan
I COULDN’T believe that a day like this would still arrive in our lives. I was standing in the middle of the airport with people roaming around. While Callan had just paid our travel tax and was smiling widely raising our first-class plane tickets up in the air. He looked better than he did weeks ago, I must say. He could smile now. Joke things with me. His face has more color time, and the dark circles under his eyes start to fade away. As for me, I still wake up in the middle of the night from nightmares of the chaos we experienced. I remember there were nights when I dreamed of the people I killed. That night when I shot Aldo Cato. Things haven’t been easy for us to return to living our normal lives. We had been deeply affected by the loss, battle, and exhaustion that we had gone through just to sort out the mess in the mafia world, at least in our lives that involved dealing with the Cato clan and resolving things regarding the order and structure in the ravij organization. We
“Esmé you wanted to know why I did this? I wanted my daddy to prioritize me. I should have been the heir to the ravij organization! I was his eldest daughter! It wasn’t fair!”As she said that, Callan took a shot from the revolver she got from me, the shot left a dent on her chest as she looked upward towards me muttering soft voices leaving a faint fake smile on her face as if she was grateful.I then hugged Callan, replaced my face on started crying Callan patted my head and he tried to calm me down, “It is over, my wife. It is over.”Immediately afterward, someone spoke from the black boxes in the room, “What a great show this was. It is certainly not over. Definitely not. Please move upstairs.”Callan shouted, “Bastard, I will kill you for killing my men and for hurting me and I will break your limbs for hurting Don Thoron.”Callan laughed, “Whoa, well, you should be very careful what to say next. Move upstairs. I am right here waiting.’“It must be a trap. Husband, let us go bac
FURIOUS, I RAISED my face upright in the eyes of the man who was holding a sniper on the 3rd floor looking at us, and then one by one other men from other floors looked below from the balconies of that building and some started shooting from the windows. We covered ourselves and I aimed precisely, even though many of my bullets were not hitting the target, I managed to take down quite a few from the sight. The abandoned building was a 12 storey high and there were soldiers of the Cato clan inside and outside. The men that spotted us first were the ones on the balcony. As instructed, twenty of our men started running to the gate to enter the building. As they were running, one fell down and got shot. Another soldier tried to lift him up on his back but ended up getting shot as well. The others ran for their lives and got inside. As they went inside, they took down all the men of the Cato Clan on the first floor and started walking upstairs. I could only hear bullet after bullet, no
MAYBE IT IS true that when love finds you, the fear of losing it is greater than the risk of dying itself just so you can fight for the person you love.Is rescuing someone worth it? I do not know about anyone but for Callan, I will do everything.“Hey, Esmé. We are ready. It is only logical if you lead this mission in the absence of the underboss.”I cleared my throat and thought of the words he just said.I looked around; I don’t think whoever leads the troop will matter at this point. We are all marching towards a similar purpose.But if I were to judge the situation, Aakil should be the one to lead instead in the absence of my husband. Or maybe Capo Mariano.“Hmm… maybe Capo Mariano could be the leader. Or Aakil?”Aakil cleared his throat and then spoke, “The consigliere mentioned your courage and we saw it too. That gave us determination. This is what the organization needs. I cannot take Callan’s place. I am not a descendant of Ravij's head. They won’t accept me as their leader
CALLAN DID NOT SEND any updates and I was left without any notice. I woke up to an empty space beside me on the bed. With everything that happened for the past days and after learning that Don Thoron had been captured by the Cato clan and had been tortured by the men in their camp in town, I knew Callan was deeply affected by it. I saw it in his eyes before he left.The unwatchable footage sent to us was brutal. But Uncle Mariano said that Don Thoron particularly said not to risk the remaining troops to save him because Callan still has to be protected when he returns.If nothing is heard about him for three days straight, Callan shall immediately become the new mafia boss of the ravij family.Callan didn’t say anything, but he balled his fists and he was greeting his teeth. No one could talk to him other than me.Their mafia boss had been captured, tutored, and maybe already dead at this point.Preventing the urge to cry from the sinking feeling in my stomach, I got up in bed and gra
CALLAN'S POVI arrived at the hideout of the Cato Clan in my hometown… the silence was deafening.In the middle of the night, I moved in silence as well.I brought a gun with me and started looking through the surroundings.I saw a group of Cato’s men, feeling so complacent as they roamed around their camp—an abandoned building with almost no lights to light up the place. That was an advantage for me.I already hid my car with weapons somewhere nearby. As I stepped out of the darkness, I was welcomed by a group of henchmen who were carrying knives in their hands.One of the men tried to enrage me and said, “Look the dead man’s son is here.” I drew my gun and shot his head and they all went alarmed and hid behind the walls and barriers and I hid behind a stack of broken tires nearby.There is a room up ahead that they are guarding. That was their hideout. I remember when Arinya brought me to their hideout not knowing I was the first son of the ravij family. Her twin brother treated me
CALLAN'S POVMY MIND COULD only think of the darkest things that could happen as time passes by. I have no other means to unleash feelings of ease and lightness, I only hope Don Thoron, my father, was still breathing.Whoever that person was that dared to smash my father with a baseball bat, I don’t care if she’s a woman. If she’s as evil as the men that we come across in the organization she deserved the violence she was causing to others. And Aquila, the last time I saw him was at the bar when I broke things off with Arinya. They were stepping into the situation. The news was Aldo Cato died after all with the mission that we did.Esmé did well in shooting him multiple times, just like I told her. I will make sure that whoever was orchestrating actions from the Cato clan does not live to tell the tale. The lion of the ravij family that was once sleeping inside has now risen up and it will now obliterate all creatures that cross the path of his might. “We have to leave if we want t