2| I want a divorce

Astrid

"I want a divorce."

For a split second, I wasn't sure if I'd actually said those words, or if it was my head playing tricks on me.

My heart hammered in my chest, the beats so loud I was sure he could hear them too. A part of me wanted to take it back. To swallow the words and pretend I hadn't said them. But another part of me didn't want to. I was tired and exhausted. It was like all the years of chasing after him were weighing heavily on my back, stopping me from moving forward.

I kept hoping he would wake up one day and realize I was worth fighting for. I wanted him to see me as someone he couldn't live without. So I convinced myself I had to be the perfect wife. Maybe if I were better at everything, he would grow to love me.

But God, was I stupid.

Why was I trying to save a marriage that was meant to fail from the beginning? Why was I trying to act like everything was fine, when it clearly wasn't.

Nathaniel stared at me, blue eyes flickering with disbelief, as if the idea that I could leave him was absurd. "What did you just say?"

"You heard me." I took a deep breath, forcing the words past the lump in my throat. "I want a divorce. I'm done with you."

He blinked, his surprise slowly giving way to irritation. "A divorce? You? What a fucking joke. You've been chasing after me for years, clinging to me like a shadow. And now you think you can just walk away? Please, you wouldn't last a day without me."

I froze. His words hurt more than a thousand daggers, piercing my heart. "I've been living without you for years, Nathaniel. You always made me feel like I'm nothing more than an object to be used however you please. You were never there when I needed you the most." My voice cracked, and I could barely recognize it.

"Stop saying nonsense, Astrid."

A bitter laugh escaped my lips. "And I was still ready for you to use me, if that was the only way for you to keep me by your side."

For a moment, just a brief moment, something flickered across his eyes. Something I have never seen before. But his face hardened again, twisting into a sneer. "Oh, don't act like a victim in this. You are not innocent. I don't know what my grandfather saw in you, but you married into a rich family. Instead of complaining, you should be thankful that you had that opportunity. Other women would die to be in your position."

My body trembled. I felt a cold, numbing pain spread through my chest.

Nathaniel was every woman's dream at the hospital; Handsome, hot, and the chairman's grandson. He was perfect. The kind of man you would fall for in a romance book. But that was not the reason the twenty-two-year-old me fell in love with him.

I fell in love with the man who stayed after his shift to take care of the grumpy elderly woman. I fell in love with the man who listened when I talked and remembered the little things about me. So when his grandfather proposed a marriage between the both of us, I was over the moon. I thought I could make him happy.

"I loved you, Nathaniel. It wasn't about the money. All I ever wanted was for you to love me back."

"Enough Astrid, you can't force me to love you. I can't never love a woman I'm not sexually attracted to. It's common sense. Just continue to act like an obedient wife and don't make a big deal about everything."

His words hit me like a physical blow. My eyes burned, tears threatening to spill over, but I fought them back.

I was done crying for a man like him.

"I don't want it anymore. Give that wife title to someone else. I've made up my mind—this marriage was never meant to happen. So I'm giving you a way out of it," I said with uncertain determination. Unable to bear the sight of their faces any longer, I spun on my heel and made my way toward the door.

Just as my hand touched the doorknob, Nathaniel roared. "You'll regret this! I'm the head of the Cardiology Department. You work under me. If you think you can still continue working after divorcing me, you are deceiving yourself. Astrid Davis."

My face stretched into a forced smile. "Do whatever you want. But please call me Astrid Adams, Mr. Nathaniel." With that, I strode forward, head held high, refusing to look back.

The night air was biting, but I barely felt it as I trudged out of the hotel. My chest was tight, and my vision blurred with unshed tears.

I swallowed the tension in my throat.

‘Don't cry, Astrid. Don't you dare cry. They don't deserve your tears.’ I told myself, nails digging into my palm painfully to stop myself from crying.

My legs were weak. I was slipping away with each passing second, but I kept walking until I was able to get to the car. I inhaled sharply as I entered the car before slamming the door.

For a brief second, I just sat there in silence, my hands gripping the steering wheel, my knuckles white. I couldn't breathe. I closed my eyes shut as every scene replayed in my head.

The way he held her as if she was the only person that mattered, the sweet words he whispered, the smile he saved just for her.

It was everything he could never give me.

"I am such a fool." I choked, a tear rolled down my cheek. Why did I ever think I could make him love me? Deep down, I knew he was cheating. I saw the red flags. But I still chose to stay and protect our marriage.

His actions cut me deeper than I could put into words. No matter how I tried to stop the tears, they kept falling.

Time slipped away as I cried in the empty parking space. I had no idea how long I had been sitting in the car.

Where would I go? I couldn't go back to that house. Not after everything that had happened tonight. I didn't want to pretend everything was fine. I wanted to snap out of that dream.

Before I could think twice, I turned the key into the ignition and drove to my parents' house.

I pulled into the driveway and stared at the villa, the one that Nathaniel's grandfather bought for them when we got married. My stomach tightened, and a bitter taste dwelled on the back of my throat.

I opened the door and when I stepped inside; I froze. The color drained from my face as I stared at the scene in front of me.

My sister, sitting on the couch, her face buried in her hands, her shoulders shaking with each tear. Her sobs echoed through the room, the kind of dramatic crying she'd perfected over the years—just loud enough to draw everyone's attention, but not so loud that it seemed insincere.

I took a shaky breath as I looked at my parents fawn over her with care and love. "What is the meaning of this?"

My parents turned towards me with a stern expression, it made me instinctively take a step back.

"I should be asking you, why the hell did you pull your sister's hair? Are you crazy? She's a model. What if you damage her hair?" My mother turned red in anger. "I understand you're jealous of your sister's beauty, but this is unacceptable"

"I-"

"Enough" My father raised his hand, shutting me up. "Don't try to make any excuse, just apologize to your sister, this instance. Whatever the reason was, you shouldn't hit your sister. I didn't raise a barbarian."

Barbarian? I almost laughed, but the sound got stuck in my throat.

Serena had always been their favorite child, their pride and joy. I spent my whole life trying to get them to notice me. I gave them perfect grades, became a doctor because it was always what they wanted, but it was always Serena.

No matter how perfect I was, she was the golden child, and I was the black sheep of the family.

I looked at them coldly, "You didn't raise a barbarian, but you raised a slut who opens her legs for married men."

My mother's brow furrowed in confusion. "What?"

"Your perfect daughter is a cheap whore!”