1. Live your life

When life sucks,

Create a new one.

- Jacqueline

"Do you have this in black?" I asked the sales lady when I was spending my time shopping for a dress. Not that I need more, but the act itself was therapeutic for my messed-up soul.

Yep, being a sugar baby is stressful, the money, the travel, and all the luxury life could offer. Oh...yeah, not to mention the sex. I love sex. I thrive on human companions, but I suck at relationships. The notion of having to commit to a man for sex and companionship and some even wanted it for the rest of their life seemed ridiculous.

I nodded at the sales lady with a smile. "Yes, thank you, I'll take this one in black," I confirmed when she informed me that they do have one in black. I was seeing the green dress wrap my body beautifully, it shows my shoulder and emphasizes my creamy slender neck. I smile looking at the reflection knowing I looked hot, sexy, and fuckable, obviously at the right price. To which I don't even bother with, previously Adriana, now Kamaria handle all my sugar daddy arrangements.

Now, onto choosing the proper fuck me heels.

Shopping lasted for another hour, then I went straight home to freshen up and change to the perfect dress to go out clubbing with my campus jock.

Tomorrow Kamaria had me set with a middle-aged finance guy, he's a millionaire and a billionaire in the making. I just shrugged thinking I won't probably last long enough until he becomes a billionaire, or maybe he's that good and I will see him move up the ladder to join the billionaire circle. Though I wouldn't know what to do with that much money, I don't even know why people would want that kind of wealth, it's not like you can spend it in one lifetime, why bother? right?

Growing up, life didn't treat me with happiness. My mom and dad were the perfect examples of what my future holds if I didn't make any abrupt changes in my life. Not that I complained with what they're providing me cause I was set financially. But all at the expense of my mom wilting away and finally drowning herself with depression as my dad not so secretly spends his days with his mistresses. Yes, he couldn't have just one, he actually has three, that I know of anyway.

As a socialite, mom didn't say much because she needs to keep up with her appearance. Though I know other women in her circle would take a younger man as their plaything or have an affair with other married men, but mom actually loves dad. She even told me in her darkest days when she would be too depressed to carry on with her life because she couldn't handle dad. That is until she popped more pills and wash them down with her thousand-dollar champagne.

In all her depressed way, I love my mom. I love how she's a romantic at heart. And though I hated my dad, one day he told me that he just couldn't help himself. That he loves mom but he just needed more. Men!

Since that day I swore to never let myself fall in love with any man and to do so I never get attached. But I learned it the hard way when I fall for my college professor and lose my virginity to the older man in my first year of living miles away from my parents. It was naive of me to think that he was still single, while in reality he was married with children.

From that day forward, I treat relationships like a true players for all the wrong reasons. I don't do third dates, two are maximum, up until the day I met Adriana. She lured me with the safety net of all the sexual adventure that I'd want, and money as a bonus on the side. The amount was so generous that I was hooked on her company for years.

I had traveled the world, tasted the exotic cuisines, and stayed at the finest hotels. Adriana allowed me to say no if I didn't want to hook up with a certain millionaire or billionaire. Yes, her list of clients was so exclusive that she even have a legal team to draft their contracts and NDAs. But now, after she stepped away from her big boss throne, Kamaria even lets me choose my billionaire if I want to. Apparently, I would be double-booked sometimes.

Sex job aside, I still date among my peers, but it was so rare that I just did it for the sake of my appearance for my college life.

But some clients are just too slippery to handle, though with time I noticed the signs and managed to stay away from them. I try not to think about them, I'm living my life, I'm young and beautiful and I craved for human connection in the most convenient way possible.

Tonight I'm out with my college friends, cause appearance mattered, I'm a college girl after all. I'm in the last year of my lame-ass business class, didn't feel the need to follow through till the end but I owe it to little Jacqueline inside me to get the degree just in case I need it.

My college casual boyfriend Kayne was already on the dance floor, he was busy grinding a sexy red hair woman in a latex top. The buff college guy ended his dance when he saw me, he parted the dance floor, walked towards me. Our open relationship was working for us, he can be the ultimate player, but when I'm around he's all mine. He gets to wrap his arms around my body and call himself my boyfriend and if he's lucky, great sex to end his night with.

"Hey hot stuff," he greeted me with a kiss, his big hands resting on the small of my back, I smiled and put my hands to his strong chest. Kayne is the campus jock, he made head turns with his built and blond locks and clear blue eyes. His boyish face made him able to splash his profile and model in his spare time. Not that he needed the money, Kayne comes from old money, he doesn't need to work but he enjoyed the attention when people recognize him from his ads.

"Hey, sexy. Miss me already? she's hot." I looked at the red hair, complimenting his choice of woman for the night.

"She's okay, not you though." He flirted, squeezing my ass cheeks and feeling my bare ass under the thin material of my short dress. He started kissing the crook of my neck then nibble my ear while whispering his dirty words.

"Come on let me keep you hydrated." He stopped kissing me, put his hand on my shoulder, and ushered me to the bar. He grabbed my Martini and his light beer before we sit with his football buddies.

I looked at his choice of drink and asked, "Still training?"

"Yup, light beer, and healthy food until the end of the month," he clicked his glass with his group of friends who were drinking the same thing. The man looked ripped, but sports talk bored me, so I let him do his thing while he lets me sit pretty in his lap and be his perfect girlfriend for the night.

He didn't need to know that tomorrow I'll be going to a tropical island with my millionaire daddy, I can almost feel the sand and sea tickling my bare feet and smell the sea salt air. But for now, I'm content with sitting on the lap of my college boyfriend, his simple affection somehow made me feel content. For the time being.

Daddy issues.

Yep, as much I'd like to blame my dad for my fucked up state of mind I know I need to do the best and live my life.