…Mekayla POV…
God no!What do I do?That is a stupid question.Get your shit off the floor, Mekayla, and save your fiancé."Hey fuck head," I call after Raymond. "I suggest you drop that gun.""God, if this were not so such a fucked up mess, I would say that is hot.""You a sick fuck.""What happened to monster?""Just drop the damn gun.""Baby, by the time you get that safety off, I would have blown his brains all over the pole."Fuck. I knew I forgot something."Even before you squeeze that trigger, Raymond, your ass will be on the floor.""Your fiance knows better than to fuck with a man that has a gun in his face. Pity I have to ruin such a pretty face."Fuck. I need to get this safety off and that gun out of Xavien's face.What do I do?Think Mekayla think.A distraction.What?"Why don't you just drop that gun, and we can go inside the house."God, I can't…Mekayla POV…Every day I see Xavien aimlessly wandering around the pool, he is trying, but he is not really there.Today has been one of the particularly hard days. I did not see him the entire day. As the sunsets, he slowly makes his way back in and sits down at the table."Can I dish you something up to eat?""No, I am not hungry. I think I am going to head to bed."I know it is only six in the afternoon, but I gently kiss him on the forehead, and he disappears again off to the room.I decide to phone his brother, Brendan.""Hey, Mekayla. How is he?""He spent most of the day by himself around the property. He has gone to bed now.""Ask him to phone me. He probably won't, but I want him to know I am here for him.""What has happened with Raymond?""They won't be pressing any charges. It was self-defense.""Will he have to give a report or anything? I don't think he will survive
…Xavien POV…I was always going to do anything for Mekayla.One thing I never thought that I would do, though, and which no man would ever do, is taking a life.It was easier said than done. Perhaps not true completely; at the time, it was easy to pull that trigger. But what happened afterward has not been easy at all.This seems like it happened yesterday; in fact, it did, well, four weeks ago now, but I can still feel it. Yes, being a real cowboy, you are going to shoot the odd coyote now and again. But that is a coyote.Now it should feel the same, but I can remember as if I am doing it right now.That feeling as you gently pull the trigger, a slight squeeze, the mere flick of a finger. That is the start that sets it in motion. Once you lay that index finger against that tiny pin, you have made a decision that you cannot take back.Next comes that feeling as you feel the bullet, now even if that is possible, but you f
…Xavien POV… It has been another week that has passed in misery. Being in my company is absolutely unbearable, not only for me but for Mekayla as well. I have really not been the best person to be around these days. I have for weeks now sat here and slowly losing my mind, but what I have failed to notice all this time is that I am losing Mekayla as well. She has grown distant from me; at first, I thought it is because she wanted to give me space. But when she stopped wanting to be around me to make sure that I am okay, then I started to notice that she is pushing herself away. This morning she came to me with tears in her eyes, begging me to please talk to her, but when I said that there is nothing to talk about, then she hit me with these very words. "I am moving out today.' Now, my first reaction was…nothing. I thought that she is running away from her problems like she always does. But then it came to me…I am her problem. She is running awa
…Mekayla POV…Xavien does not know where I am.He has tried phoning me for several days now. I just cannot stand to take him killing himself anymore. He is half of the man that he used to be before. I don't know how to get through to him. I am hoping, in my own cruel little way, that this separation shall be what our relationship needs.I am not ready to give up on the man I love.I just need him to find himself.Now I don't know how hard he is looking for me; I am guess real damn hard, and what I am also guessing is that he is turning the city upside down. Well, I am not in the city; I am, in fact, in the cabin.Now I have the desire to phone him and tell him, but I need him to find himself in order to find us.But what else needs to be finding is me going into town. I am so petrified of how these people will judge me. But do I truly care? There is nothing that Xavien and I did wrong; the only thing we ever did differently was being
…Mekayla POV…It's been a week since I left the city. Xavien has not to stop phoning for one second. I know that he is going off his mind by now. But I need him to understand that I am doing this for us. He needs to find himself, and it should be all by himself. I, too, need to clear my head. We cannot work if we are broken. Yes, I know that we should be broken together and heal each other. But I think that I am just a distraction from what he really needs to be doing at this moment.This morning I came up with a better solution for my living arrangements. It's bold and definitely crazy, I might even regret it, but I don't care; it really gets cold at night in the cabin. I need to think of my baby, and this is not the place to think of raising himSo I pick up my phone and dial his number."Billy.""Hey, Mekayla.""How have you been?""I am great, thanks."Then I gather all my nerves together and chuck them away ask I set out to
…Mekayla POV…When I wake up, I am in Xavien's bed. I was crying so much last night that Billy eventually brought me here. Now, if he thought that was going to make me feel better, he was seriously mistaken for just smelling Xavien's cologne made me cry all over again.So I dress, and I make my way downstairs, but as I get there, Billy and Molly are not there. I take a fresh cup of coffee from the pot and sit down at the table.As I am sitting by myself, I start thinking, "What am I going to do today." I chuckle at myself as I notice that I am now starting to talk to myself. I am now officially going crazy. "You are losing all your marbles, Mekayla. But now, seriously, what the hell am I going to do today?""You can start with saying hello, Mekayla."I am startled at a voice of a man that is standing behind me. I am shit scared to turn my face because I know exactly who it is."Princess, are you not going to say hello?"I slowly spin
…Mekayla POV…So we are back in town.After much discussing and pulling straws, Xavien won, and we will be moving back to this little town, leaving the city behind.We do not see it as being a failure; it taught us the finer things in life are not always the best to have.It is early morning; Xavien did his awful naked walk to go fetch the paper while I am having the breakfast that Billy was so kind to have made.This morning we are going to look at another ranch nearby. Xavien says that there is no way that he will kick Billy out.This is what makes me love this man so much.Now not only has Billy has terrible taste in clothes, but he also cannot cook either. I can knock the cat sitting at the door completely unconscious with this thing. Let me not even start with this egg, if you can even call it that. This is the worst breakfast I have ever had in my life."I don't think you can stab that thing anymore de
…Mekayla POV…I have my baby with me; he is fast asleep in my arms. He is perfect; I have never known a man that holds natural beauty from both outside and within.I slip my arm out from underneath him and pull the covers back over his shoulders. I slip a pair of shorts on and make my way down to the kitchen. I am making him his morning coffee; yes, I am trying to bribe him.Wait until he finds out where I am dragging him today.So I go back upstairs and wake him with a cup of warm coffee."What did I do to deserve this?""I am just spoiling my man."He looks at me with a frown on his face and shakes his head, "What are you up to? Why are you not still in bed?""I wanted to wake up early.""Ya, right, princess, you don't wake up early.""Well, I kind of…"He stops me immediately, "I get the idea that I am not going to like this.""Well, baby, I want to go fetch the rest of my thi
...Xavien POV...Life does not always go as you plan. Your best-laid plans are sometimes going to fail. The question is, how do you deal with failure?Well, life is made up of these defining moments; it is up to you have you let these moments affect you, for they shall shape who you are and what you will become.How do you deal with a marriage that you thought was completely stable, a marriage you thought was heaven-born.You cant.I simply don't.I have never known failure in my life, yet though, I have had my share of heartache. Heartache makes up that defining moment. And my choice is never to love again.Yes, it sounds like some country and western song; hey, I can even throw my boots on and dance to it. The sad what is, when something comes to an end, then it comes to an end.Mekayla was, well, yes, as her name says, Mekayla. Mekayla that comes with sunshine, that brings a new day. She was the light of my life. I will not
...Xavien POV...The day has finally arrived.Today the babies are born.Mekayla is completely petrified, pacing the room as she is trying to get into her hospital gown. She has been going to see this doctor, but to me, it does not seem that there is any approvement. Now, I have asked her and the doctor what is going on, but neither of them wants to tell me. And as for Tina, Mekayla has not told her either.Now she is here working herself up, and believe me; I ain't the one telling a pregnant woman that is about to give birth to calm down. Well, not that she would listen because what I say really does not count, for she does keep on reminding me that we have separated. She does not want to understand my perspective, and I don't know what is wrong with her. At this rate, it is not helping us both.So once she has put on that godawful hospital gown, the nurses come to push her bed through to the operating theatre. Not once does she hold my hand as we move thro
…Mekayla POV…I am losing my husband; in fact, I think that I have already lost him. My insecurities have taken me over. I fear that I am not strong enough, or even a good even wife for him, for I cannot keep myself together. I have taken my failure to trust him about how I feel out on him. How is he supposed to have meant to know that I was going through a hard time dealing with what happened? If I only sat down with him, then he would not have left our home.So here I have Tina, that is just as frustrated at me for not wanting to listen, for refusing to go speak to a doctor that will listen. Have I really gone that mad that I find myself in this room? I have trusted no one to help me; why should I trust someone to help me now? Our precious little babies are to be born in a few weeks, and here I cannot control my emotions. Not the hormonal ones, but the ones that will drive you to insanity.I guess I drove the man away from me that I truly did love. I h
...Xavien POV...I have moved back to the ranch and have been here for two weeks now. I can honestly say that I feel more relaxed and myself again. I have been able to do the things that I enjoy and still run my company at the same timeAs for Mekayla, yes, I miss her a lot. We keep in contact regularly, but that is mainly talking about the babies though. I try at all costs not to say anything else to avoid getting into an argument. Well, not that I am saying that the arguments have stopped, for I do get the angry message and then a call out of the blue.It has been a real challenge having to start a new life again when you thought that you had the perfect one. Every time I look at those divorce papers, I really wonder if we did just moved into things too quickly. Perhaps, if I did not insist on us marrying so soon, things would have been different. Who knows? All that I know is that our marriage has not been working.Tina has been struggling to get Mekayla to th
…Mekayla POV...Things between Xavien and me have not been going well. We are constantly fighting, and it just seems to me that he has lost all interest in the babies and me. His work has become more important to him. He is a completely different man; I honestly do not know who he is anymore. In a way, I think that Xavien and me moved too fast, too soon.I know that I am hormonal and that the pregnancy is taking more out of me than I thought it would. I am not coping; the idea of having to bring up two babies scares me. I don't know if I will even be a good mom if I cannot be a good wife. But then again, Xavien himself is not really trying.Instead of us talking this out, we are just running apart. I feel like I am losing my mind. I am falling into a deep depression. I want to have it all, I want to have two beautiful babies, a handsome husband, and a perfect career, but right now, all I have is the fear of bringing these two into the world.It is not like
. ...Xavien POV...I have moved out into the guest room permanently.Things in the Caruso household have gone from tense to nothing at all. Mekayla and me barely talk to each other, and when we do, we find ourselves in an argument. I have stopped counting the number of stupid things that we fight over. That damn cribs are still standing there; Grant told her to sort her shit out and to stop being so unreasonable. Now when I wanted to agree with him, I found a plate come flying towards my head.Mekayla has gone completely insane, and I mean that in the nicest of ways.She is working herself up to a frenzy every day, which the doctor told her to clearly stop doing for her stress levels are not good for the babies. She is going for thirty-four weeks soon, and she is going on like a complete lunatic.I have found any and every reason to stay at work these days, and of course, I am having an affair with Barbara. Well, if I wanted to have an affair, I wo
..Xavien POV...I guess at some stage in every marriage; the honeymoon phase becomes over. Well, that has no officially happened with Mekayla and me. Now, if I say that we want to kill each other, then that is a slight understatement. We cannot be in the same room for longer than a few minutes before heading out into an argument. Mekayla has become completely unbearable to be around. I do understand the woman is pregnant, but her behavior is completely irrational.This morning I am trying to sneak out of what has been my new room, the guest room, for what is now the third night in a row. I am trying to get out of the house before she sees me to start yet another fight over something that I have not done or, even worse, that I have forgotten about.So after having a shower, which, unfortunately, I cannot do in silence, I quickly get dressed and head downstairs with my laptop bag in hand. The moment I step my last step towards the door, I near jump as I hear her voice c
...Xavien POV...It is a very long and painful drive back to the Winters's mansion. My dear wife is not in a good mood today. She, as of a few minutes ago, decided that she does not like the dress that she is wearing. So guess what?I had to turn around and go home.Now we are finally back on the road to the town, officially extremely late. Yet, she is still not in a better mood. Mekayla is absolutely grumpy. The snacks that I packed for her are completely wrong. The way I cut the pickle is not right and let us not forget that I did not put enough strawberries with the chocolate spread.She is absolutely impossible.I am already annoyed as it is because we are living in the damn city again, and now my wife is driving me insane. Mekayla is in her own world by herself; she only lives for her; I don't know if she sees the babies as real little people or toys that she can dress up. She has been buying the most ridiculous outfits online, I am putting it
...Xavien POV...It is a very long and painful drive back to the Winters's mansion. My dear wife is not in a good mood today. She, as of a few minutes ago, decided that she does not like the dress that she is wearing. So guess what?I had to turn around and go home.Now we are finally back on the road to the town, officially extremely late. Yet, she is still not in a better mood. Mekayla is absolutely grumpy. The snacks that I packed for her are completely wrong. The way I cut the pickle is not right and let us not forget that I did not put enough strawberries with the chocolate spread.She is absolutely impossible.I am already annoyed as it is because we are living in the damn city again, and now my wife is driving me insane. Mekayla is in her own world by herself; she only lives for her; I don't know if she sees the babies as real little people or toys that she can dress up. She has been buying the most ridiculous outfits online, I am putting it off to be