Chapter Twenty-two, Anticipation and Desire

Xavier’s Point of View

Racing home in pure exhilaration, I was amazed I didn't get stopped by the police. My heart was pounding, not out of fear but sheer joy. This morning, I tried to convince myself that having her as a friend would be enough, but that idea was quickly dismissed. The way Rei nestled perfectly in my embrace, her petite, curvy form felt like paradise.

I might have let things escalate if I hadn’t seen Grace watching us from her car. When I handed Rei back her phone, I caught all three kids gazing at us from inside the house. Onyx and Salem beamed at me, giving enthusiastic thumbs-ups, while Shiloh smiled as she watched us. It unexpectedly warmed my heart to see that her children appeared to be accepting of their mother kissing me.

I knew I’d made a difference when I helped her years ago—of course, I knew! I’d been stalking her for years, but I was unaware of the true extent of my influence. The sight of Shiloh's drawing displayed on their living room wall struck me. That and Rei’s naughty smirk and the admiration in her eyes as she watched me interact with her children deeply moved me. I didn’t want to let her down. I wanted to be the man she thought I was.

I hoped she would call soon. I wanted to see Rei again. I loved seeing her smile, hearing her laugh, and being a part of what she called her ‘beloved chaos’ even for a few hours. I’d watched her from afar for so long. Being welcomed into her life was surreal. I kept wanting to pinch myself to check if it was really happening.

Upon arriving home, I ensured I wouldn't miss any calls or text notifications, especially from Rei. I neatly stored away the blankets and pillows left on the couch and gathered the clothes I had lent Rei, cherishing her scent as I held them close. I shook my head as soon as I realized what I was doing. I was cradling fucking clothes.

I retreated to my makeshift office and gaming sanctuary, hoping to find some focus. Unfortunately, my mind kept wandering as I constantly checked my phone, eagerly awaiting a message from Rei. Eventually, I realized how futile it was and started scrolling through my social media feeds, only to grow bored soon after. Feeling restless and unable to concentrate, I contemplated driving my motorcycle to clear my head. Just as I was about to give in to the idea, I received a call from Tom checking in on me.

"Hey, I heard you had quite an eventful night," my friend prodded, eager for me to share the juicy details.

"I'm keeping that information to myself. I care about her. She means a lot to me," I replied with conviction.

"We could all tell, especially Lillianna. I'm almost certain she was envious, even though she seemed preoccupied with Alex the whole night, and he eventually left with her," Tom chuckled.

“Lillianna and I have messed around, but it never meant anything. I don’t have feelings for her,” I grumbled.

“I know that. Matt knows that. Lillianna doesn’t seem to, though,” Tom affirmed.

"Hey, isn't this the girl you've had a crush on for years?" my friend asked as we walked past a familiar face.

“Yeah,” I said with a hint of embarrassment.

“Are you going to see her again?” Tom inquired, genuinely curious.

“If she wants to,” I answered, feeling a mix of hope and uncertainty.

“Who did you hook up with? Sam or Chloe?” I asked, hoping to redirect the conversation.

“Matt hooked up with Sam, and Chloe went home with me,” Tom said proudly.

"Did Grace manage to find anyone?" I inquired, intrigued about the girl who was close with both Lillianna and Rei.

"No, Grace kept a close watch on everyone, but she appeared to be having a good time. She was pleased that you took Rei out for a ride. Grace has been trying for years to set Rei up with someone, and Rei always turned her down, making up excuses each time," Tom revealed.

"Are you planning on seeing Chloe again?" I inquired.

"Yeah, Matt and I plan to go on a double date with the girls tonight. You should have asked for Rei's number. It might be difficult for her to call you with three kids to take care of," Tom remarked.

I thought I was clever by leaving it up to Rei to make the call, but Tom was right. I should have also asked for her number, especially since I had anxiously waited for her to reach out all afternoon.

A text came through while I was talking to Tom, and I cursed. Of course. Fuck my life. Work wanted me to come in.

"Hey Tom, I have to head out for a bit. I got a call from work and might be away for a while. Could you do me a huge favor and reach out to Rei? I won't be able to answer any calls at work," I sighed.

“No worries, I’ll ask Chloe to let her know,” Tom reassured me.

After I hung up, I realized I had better call Matt, too. Tom was not the most reliable for passing on messages.

"Hey, I have a little favor to ask," I said as I heard Matt's voice over the phone. In the background, Sam's voice added to the lively atmosphere, making me smile involuntarily.

“Anything. What’s up?” my friend asked.

“Work called. I don’t know how long I’ll be gone or where I’m going. But you know I can’t take calls or reach out to anyone when I’m gone. Please ask Sam to let Rei know I’m not ghosting her?” I pleaded.

“You must really like this girl,” Matt responded.

“I do,” I answered.

“Make sure she knows. Promise,” I asked once more. I could hear the phone being passed, and then Sam's response came through clearly over the phone, “Done.”

Adamant and urgent, Sam said, "For what it’s worth, I’ve never seen Rei look at someone like she looked at you last night. I’ll let her know. But I’m giving you her number right now. Get something to write it down with."

Wow, this one was a spitfire. No wonder Matt liked her. I quickly found a pen and a receipt to write it down on.

"Once you're off the phone, save her number in your contacts. She'll want you to call her when you return, Xavier," Sam emphasized.

“I will, thanks, Sam,” I answered.

“Oh, and Xavier? If you hurt my friend, I will kick your ass,” Sam said before hanging up on me.

I worked for a secretive government agency that operated under the radar. My computer skills make me indispensable in that environment. I could locate anything or anyone and get things done quickly without being traced. I was in high demand and often requested for all kinds of top-secret jobs. Despite the excellent compensation and benefits, I felt like I was always at the government's beck and call, needing to drop everything and go whenever they called. Maybe that's why I often took unnecessary risks and acted foolishly with my friends – it was the only time I could genuinely assert my independence.

It complicated matters that Rei's family had ties to my line of work, where a strict policy prohibited mixing business with pleasure. I could argue that our social circles had become intertwined, but I doubted that reasoning would hold up. I had hoped to create a few more lasting memories with Rei before our relationship became forbidden.

As I swiftly gathered my belongings for what could potentially be several days away, I endeavored to remain calm and composed. Work typically gave me weekends off. I hoped it was just a job they needed me for specifically, not because they knew about Rei and me.