Chapter Thirty-five: Everything Falls Apart

Grace’s Point of View

I hung up the phone quickly, trying not to spiral. It would make things worse if I were agitated when Lillianna arrived. She’d called, sobbing on the other end of the line, wanting to come over. I offered to go to her, but Lillianna insisted the drive would help. She loved that motorcycle, and I found myself agreeing—the ride would calm her down at least so that she could properly articulate whatever had happened.

I didn’t know what to think. Lillianna had a dark side. It was fucking scary when she plunged into those depths, and hard to bring her back out of it. So often, it was like she was two souls warring within her, one foot in the darkness and one in the light.

I knew what Xavier was talking about. I’d seen it myself. It was one of the reasons why I wanted to leave the organization. After a job that Lillianna had “tackled with a little too much enthusiasm” Aamon had sent me in to check on my friend in the washroom. Maybe he wanted me to see this side of Lillianna because, before that moment, I never had.

Lillianna was grinning as she wiped the blood off of her face and then washed her hands, staring at the blood mixing with the water as it swirled down the sink. She looked so … evil… covered in someone else’s blood without a care in the world, thrilled at her appearance and whatever it was that she had done. There was an unhinged presence to her, and it beckoned me closer even though all I wanted to do was turn and run away before she noticed I was staring at her, mouth hanging open in shock and horror.

She saw my movement in the mirror, and a shadow passed across her face before Lillianna schooled her features. She looked down at her clothes and looked embarrassed, offering me a shrug and a small smile when I asked if my friend was okay. I offered to lend her a change of clothes, and Lillianna accepted gratefully. I always brought a change of clothes with me, just out of habit.

As I left the washroom, Aamon was waiting for me, leaning against the wall with a blank expression.

“Is she okay?” Aamon asked.

“Define okay,” I gritted out. It was a chore to speak. I was still trying to process what I had just seen.

“Is Lillianna feeling alright? Is she ill?” Aamon asked, his eyes searching mine for what I didn’t know. Recognition? Acceptance?

“She needs a change of clothes, but she’s fine. I’m going to grab those for her. Can I call you later tonight?” I asked my boyfriend.

“I have a job to do tonight. The boss needs me to clean something up. I’ll call you tomorrow love,” Aamon said and pulled me close to him for a quick hug and forehead kiss. Then he was gone.

I blinked at the sound of the knock on my door, pulling me back from my memories. Lillianna was a lot of things. But she cared about Rei. Perhaps Lillianna had feelings for Xavier, but she had always held a soft spot for Rei. Besides, if it had really mattered, Lillianna would have done something to prevent Xavier from hooking up with Rei. Wouldn’t she?

Lillianna burst through the door, a whirlwind of emotions when I opened it. She tossed her purse to the side and flopped on my couch, looking dishevelled and dejected. What was going on?

“He did it, Grace. He chose her. It’s over. It’s really over,” Lillianna whispered.

Shit. Xavier was telling the truth. But I needed to hear Lillianna’s side of things. She was one of my closest and oldest friends. Lillianna deserved that, no matter what the truth was.

“Who is ‘he,’ and what is going on?” I asked gently.

“Can I stay here tonight?” Lillianna asked hopefully.

"Of course, I don’t work tomorrow. We can stay up and chat for as long as you need to. Now, tell me what is going on,” I responded.

So Lillianna shared her version of events, and I listened without responding, just holding her hand while my friend unburdened herself. I discovered what had happened to the Ravenscroft family years ago and that Lillianna was in love with Xavier—or what she perceived as love. It was an obsession, not love, but I could not tell her.

I held her while she sobbed, rubbing her back until Lillianna fell asleep. Then, I placed a blanket on her and a pillow underneath her head. I walked into my tiny kitchen and reached into the cupboard for the bottle of whiskey and a glass. I poured myself a generous amount, took a sip, and rested my head in my hands. Xavier wasn’t wrong, but I was in a challenging position. Rei was my best friend, and Lillianna was my oldest friend.

There was one person I could talk to about this who would understand and listen without judgment. Did I dare call him, though? I hadn’t spoken to him in ten years. His number could have changed, although I doubt that it would have. Aamon didn’t give out his personal number to many people.

If I were to do this, I would need some liquid courage. I still loved him. Hearing his voice would cause me to spiral again, and I would fall apart the minute I was off the phone with him—if he even answered the call. His last words were ‘I love you’ as I walked away from him, cutting him out of my life.

Traitorous tears fell from my eyes, and I wiped them away furiously. This wasn’t about me. I had to figure out to fix this situation somehow and Aamon was the only one who could help me do that. Besides, it had been a decade. I wasn’t that narcissistic to think even for a hot minute that he hadn’t moved on from me. The man was gorgeous and an amazing partner in every way. He most likely had a secret wife and kids of his own now. I knew he would help me if I reached out, though. I didn’t doubt that for a minute.