Chapter Sixty-two: Begin Again Sweet Girl

Rei’s Point of View

He said yes. Xavier said yes to coming back to my house and spending the night with me there. I wanted him to say yes. I had hoped he would, but deep down, I wasn’t sure if he would really agree. I still couldn’t believe that he wanted to be with me. This gorgeous, intelligent, sweet, and kind man wanted me, of all people.

I left his room to give him space to pack and call my best friend back. I cringed, thinking about all the naughty things Grace would tell me if the kids were not in earshot. Thankfully, I didn’t have long to obsess over it because she answered after the first ring.

“So, what did he say?” Grace asked.

“He’s packing a bag now. Are you sure about this? Last chance to back out,” I said.

“Nope. That bed needs to be exorcised and exercised desperately. Please, please, please, make new memories all over the house. Just, maybe don’t tell me where because I have a vivid imagination, and I want to visit you without my mind wandering,” Grace said casually as if we were discussing the weather.

Would Xavier even want to do things there? This was his place, but my home… was … well, it was my home. It was where I lived with my kids, where I’d raised them on my own, getting by with a bit of help from my friends, and where my ex-husband had made a few happy memories with me and a lifetime of horrible ones.

“Rei, I can feel you spiralling through the phone. What is going on in the head of yours girlfriend? Talk to me, Rei,” Grace said gently.

“I want this. I want him. But, having him stay with me at the house… Is it too soon? Is it a good idea? What if I fall apart because all of the bad memories with Greg come flooding back at the worst possible time?” I whispered.

“First of all, breathe. Look around the room. What do you see?” Grace asked me, her voice soft and reassuring.

“I see my purse beside me. I feel the leather couch I’m sitting on in Xavier’s living room and smell the coffee he brewed for us this morning. Vanilla hazelnut,” I answered.

“Good girl. Take another breath and tell me how you are feeling,” Grace encouraged.

I did as she asked, and I felt the panic start to subside. It wasn’t a panic attack. My best friend hadn’t let it get that far. She helped me ground myself when I needed her to without realizing it so I could breathe through the overwhelming feelings my doubt created.

“Rei, if you are not up to Xavier coming to the house, say the word, and I’ll stay here with the kids. You don’t need to rush anything that you are not ready for,” Grace said.

“No, I want to do this. You are right. That poor bed has only seen Greg’s sorry cheating ass in it with me. It’s just been me, my trusty vibrators and the dreams of X in my head for so long after Greg left me. It’s time. I can do this,” I said with conviction.

“I’m proud of you, Rei. Is there any chance you want me to put on some sexy sheets for you before you get here? Wait. Do you even own any sexy sheets?” Grace asked.

“Who was I ever going to be enjoying them with? No! Of course not,” I laughed.

“Well, that fucking sucks. I’ll improvise. There has to be something that will feel good in your linen closet. Let me look… oh wait, you have a cotton sateen set. Oh, that’s soft. That’s going to feel so good lying naked in,” Grace rambled.

I couldn’t decide whether to be surprised or not that Grace had located my favorite sheets, the ones that were incredibly soft and provided the most comfort. I only used them when I knew sleep would elude me. Those sheets were on my bed during significant dates like my wedding anniversary and the day Greg walked out of my life.

I hated to admit it, but they were perfect to use. I bought them just before things ended with Greg when I’d been planning a romantic evening for the two of us. It just had never happened. My ex-husband had always been too busy or staying out late with friends, who I now knew were the affairs he had on the side. A few traitorous tears fell from my eyes, and I quickly wiped them away. He didn’t deserve my tears or even my thoughts now. Why was I even thinking about Greg? Why now?

I got up and started to pace until strong arms encircled me from behind, and I felt Xavier kiss my head.

“How long will you need to get the kids ready Grace? Maybe Xavier and I can go on a motorcycle ride to give you the time you need,” I offered as I leaned against Xavier, feeling comfort just from having him hold me like this.

“Maybe two hours? Would that work for you?” Grace asked.

“That works. Just text me when you are settled at Aamon’s place with the kids, and maybe send a picture of all of you together if you can,” I replied.

“Thank you for trusting me with the kids. I promise I’ll watch over them and ensure they are safe and well behaved,” Grace said.

“I want you to have fun with your boyfriend, without having to worry about any unnecessary interruptions. I promise I’ll call and text before coming back with the kids so you aren’t surprised,” my best friend added.

“Thanks Grace. I really appreciate this,” I said.

“I know. I’m proud of you, Rei. It’s time to begin again my sweet girl. You deserve love in your life. And sex. Lot’s and lot’s of sex,” Grace added.

I groaned when Xavier chuckled softly behind me.

“He heard that didn’t he?” Grace laughed.

“Yeah, Xavier is with me,” I smiled, turning quickly to give my boyfriend a kiss on the cheek.

“Xavier, enjoy this! Give my girl some new memories to hold dear. She deserves to scream and make the neighbors talk,” Grace teased.

"Yes, ma'am," Xavier whispered as he placed soft kisses along my neck, his experienced fingers sending pleasurable shivers throughout my body.

"I'll talk to you later," I moaned and ended the call, tossing my phone onto the couch.