Chapter Seventy-two: Anger and Betrayal

Rei’s Point of View

There have been numerous times in my life where I believed that I couldn't possibly be any angrier than I was at that moment. The first was when I discovered my ex-husband's infidelity. The second was when Greg made the decision to abandon me and our children, claiming we no longer fit into his life and he didn't love us anymore. But this... this consumed me with rage. I focused on taking deep breaths, attempting to reign in the intense anger that was ready to consume me.

Xavier was handing me a helmet and gesturing for me to put it on. I wanted to throw it at him and run off. Scream, cry, rage at the insanity of my reality right now.

Rei, listen to him. You are running out of time. If you don’t go to see your grandfather, you will never forgive yourself.

X’s voice whispered in my head. But I was too angry. I didn’t care. How could they play with my life like this? With my children’s lives? How much of my life was a lie?

Shiloh, Onyx and Salem are going to be there. Grace and Aamon are taking them. How will you justify not showing up to your children? How can you explain that your anger was more important than being there for them, your brother and grandfather?

I closed my eyes and clenched my fists in frustration. X was right. He was only a dream, yet in my head, X guided me to make better choices and do what I was supposed to, even if I was scared or unsure.

“Drive fast,” I snapped as I grabbed the helmet from Xavier’s hands.

Xavier looked at me with a sad expression and simply nodded. I knew he felt terrible. Not all of this was his fault, but he lied to me. So did Grace. Lillianna, I didn’t care about it in the grand scheme of things. She was obviously crazy and dangerous if she shot my grandfather. The little I knew about the Don was that he was not one to mess with, and you did not involve yourself in any of the Brzezinski family’s affairs.

I mounted the back of Xavier's motorcycle and wrapped my arms tightly around him as he revved the engine and burst out of the garage. We zoomed down the street, the wind whipping past us with full force as Xavier pushed his vehicle to its limits.

My thoughts were in turmoil as Xavier drove. I loved him, and he loved me; that much was clear. But he had lied to me, and I needed answers. How could my closest friend keep such a huge secret from me? How long had Grace known who I really was? And to add to the chaos, she was dating my brother - someone I never even knew existed until now. My head was spinning with all these revelations.

My breaths came in short, ragged gasps as my vision began to blur. I grasped onto Xavier for support, thinking it would help me steady myself, but it only worsened my breathing. Tears were streaming down my face, and I hadn't even noticed until then. I was crying, ugly sobbing, because the betrayal cut so deeply. And to make matters worse, I was having a complete panic attack.

Rei, listen to my voice. You need to keep your body steady. If you don’t, you will throw off the motorcycle's balance, and Xavier will crash. He’s driving fast to get you where you need to be. You are safe. I will not let anything happen to you. I’ve kept you safe for the last ten years, haven’t I? Trust in my love for you, Rei. Please.

I was terrified. I sat frozen with fear, holding on to Xavier and trying to listen to X’s voice in my head. I must have finally lost my mind. I guess it was only a matter of time. I’d held it together for so long, and I thought I was doing well but I was hearing the voice of the man who haunted my dreams as clear as if he was beside me. My breathing became shallow and rapid, and my fingers started to tingle.

You don't think I'm real just because you can’t see me?

X’s voice sounded angry. I started crying even harder. I didn’t want to make him angry. But why did I care if I made the voice of someone I imagined angry? What was wrong with me?

Xavier’s hands were occupied. I could see them as he drove us to the hospital, and yet I could very clearly feel hands on top of my own. That was X. I knew his touch. How was this even possible?

You're nearly there. Your grandfather is holding on, Rei. Your children, Grace and Aamon, are already with him and waiting for you. Just hold on to Xavier a little bit longer.

Xavier’s Point of View

I felt her body shaking and could hear the sobs coming from Rei. She kept moving around, and keeping my attention on driving the motorcycle was difficult. I feared she might be experiencing a panic attack. The last thing I wanted was for her to fall off or attempt to jump while we were racing at such high speeds. There was no way she could survive the impact.

I silently prayed that Rei would just hold on. There wasn’t anything else I could do. Because she was moving around so much, I didn’t dare risk moving one of my hands to comfort her. This was terrifying. I couldn’t let myself think about how she was feeling, what must be going through Rei’s mind, and what the state of our relationship was. I’d never seen her that angry.

I had finally found a way to be with the woman I loved. But it wasn’t going to last. She wouldn’t forgive me. How could she? After I’d lied to her. Well, maybe not lie, but I kept things from her. Things that would have made a huge difference if she’d known. Rei was going to walk away and not look back.

My heart ached thinking of never being able to hold her again, of Rei only looking at me as she did right before we left the safe house. This woman was everything to me. She completed me. How was I ever going to say goodbye?