Chapter Seven, Kiss Me Goodbye

I texted Mary once I got home, having locked the door and turned off the light Shiloh had left on for me. Working with a wonderful coworker like Mary, even though she liked to tease me, was a stroke of luck. It meant a lot that she cared enough to check if I got home safely every time we worked an evening shift together.

I never did drink the iced coffee the attractive man had kindly purchased. Although his gesture was thoughtful, I was hesitant since I didn't know him. On the other hand, Mary had no problem enjoying the mini donuts he had bought for us during the rest of our shift. After I politely declined, she even took the remaining ones home to share with her husband. I had packed a sandwich, an apple, and a water bottle for my break, which suited me just fine. Looking back, it was good that the coffee spilled; otherwise, I might have stayed up late reading when I got home.

I replayed the unexpected compliment and felt myself blushing just thinking about it. While it wasn't the first time I had been complimented like that, it was unusual in my work setting. The three young men were all attractive, and the young woman accompanying them appeared like a model with her long, dark hair, slim figure, and dark eyes. She seemed at ease around Xavier, and I assumed they were a couple. However, Mary insisted they were just best friends. I had my doubts about that.

I recognized him from somewhere but couldn't place him, no matter how much I racked my brain. Perhaps Xavier resembled someone else? Although I couldn't pinpoint who that might be. My days were centered on my children, job, and friends.

I locked my bedroom door and removed my uniform, placing it in the laundry basket next to the one I had dirtied earlier in my shift, along with the g-string I'd been wearing. I cringed as I remembered the clumsy moment when my spilled iced coffee exposed what I was wearing under my scrubs. Mary's laughter shattered the hope of keeping it private, making it clear to everyone.

I entered the shower, switched it on, and positioned myself under the warm water, allowing it to flow over me like a comforting hug. The heat penetrated my muscles, releasing the knots and tension from the night. Fortunately, it had not been a hectic night with few cases in the area where Mary and I were stationed. As the sole hospital in a small town, such quiet nights were not always the norm.

On nights like this, when I returned home, and the children were asleep, I longed for someone to be there. Sighing, I reached for my favorite lavender body wash, indulging in its soothing scent. After lathering and rinsing, I allowed my hands and imagination to wander. I wondered what it would be like to have the man of my dreams waiting for me, stepping into the shower to express how much he had missed me.

I let the shower run until the hot water ran out. The sudden cold water served as a much-needed reality check. I couldn't keep living inside my head like this. I was reluctant to allow Grace to set me up because I was afraid of opening up to the possibility of love again. But I was lonely and tired of imagining what could be a reality if I let go and let myself try.

Maybe it was an epiphany. As I grew older, wisdom followed, and my children were maturing. Acknowledging my loneliness, I looked at myself in the mirror. I vowed to break free from fear if I met someone on Saturday. I decided to take it slow, such as sharing contact information, and proceed with care. This time around, I needed to be mindful not just for myself but also for my three dear children. Nonetheless, I realized that I also deserved to find happiness.

I set my alarm and then drifted off to sleep. Like in previous nights, I dreamed of X. I wrapped my arms securely around his waist, feeling the reassuring rhythm of X's breath as it rose and fell in the calm of the night. It was just the two of us on the moonlit road. The moon shone brightly in the clear sky, casting a soft silver light over the peaceful back roads of our small town, creating a serene atmosphere as X drove and I held on. My worries, fears, and doubts vanished in his presence, replaced by a profound sense of calm. I felt as though I was flying, completely free.

The dream didn't end with watching the sunrise like every other time. X parked his bike and then helped me off. He lifted the helmet off of me and looked at me with such tenderness. I couldn't see his face because he still had his helmet on but had lifted the visor so I could see those gorgeous, kind hazel eyes.

"I just wanted to see you once without the weight of the world on your soul," he murmured, his voice seductive.

Somehow, I sensed this was our farewell, and even in the realm of dreams, the parting felt achingly real, filling me with sorrow. Tears streamed down my face silently because fuck my life, even in a dream, the man still leaves.

X gently cupped my face, his thumb brushing away a tear from my cheek. "I have to go," he whispered.

"I understand," I replied, my voice trembling. "But, if I close my eyes, will you kiss me goodbye?"

X nodded, and as he removed his helmet, I closed my eyes. I would keep my word; I wouldn't open them. I would savor this moment and hold it close to my heart.

I sensed his gradual lean towards me, gently brushing my lips with his own in a tender kiss. However, as the reality of our farewell sank in, I intensified the kiss. His fingers wove into my hair, pulling me closer as his arms wrapped around me, holding me close in response. We passionately kissed, and his hands tangled in my hair, holding me even more tightly. I could feel his heart beating wildly against my chest.

After breaking the kiss, X gently placed one last kiss on my forehead. My eyes remained closed as tears continued to flow down my cheeks.

"You no longer need me, Rei. It's time for you to embrace real love in your life," X whispered.

"I will always remember you," I promised, my voice barely audible and filled with emotion.

"But you will forget once you awaken, just like you have done every night for the past ten years. It's time to let me go, Rei. You know I exist only in your dreams," X's voice faded as the alarm clock blared, pulling me out of my slumber.