Chapter 80: Forever Yours, Only Yours

Rei’s Point of View

Being in Xavier's embrace felt like a balm to my soul. The anger I had been holding onto, at least towards him, dissipated as I rested my head on his chest. I didn't want to leave his comforting arms.

"Do you need some time before we head to your stepbrother's house?" Xavier asked softly.

I nodded. It was a slow night, and I doubted anyone would be using the sleeping pods. As we left the hospital room, I asked at the front desk for the key and, with condolences expressed by another nurse recently hired I didn’t know very well nodded my thanks and left with Xavier for the room. I just wanted to lie down with him. My anxiety had been too much while Xavier was driving, and it took everything in me to hold on and then keep it together in front of my kids in the hospital room with my grandfather.

Xavier realized what I was doing and why. He offered to text Grace for me to let her know, and I thanked him for that.

I had always wondered why our small hospital had such extensive rest facilities for our staff. The renovations to the building had been done the year before I graduated, along with an expansion to provide more beds so that more medical staff could be hired and patients cared for. It had been an anonymous donor, or at least that is what I had been told. Now, I knew without a doubt who had provided the funding and why.

Xavier whistled when he saw the luxurious sleeping pod that would fit both of us. I smiled softly at him. The luxury sleeping pod had a wide double mattress, smaller than the king sized bed like what Xavier had, but it would do. There was extra soundproofing for this unit and sets of controls for lighting, temperature, and sound. The doctors usually used it, but given the circumstances, the nurse at the desk gave me the room keys. I had expected to receive the keys for the room with the individual pods, but she shook her head and passed me this key with a knowing look. I was glad. Not just for the extra features this would have but because Xavier could stay with me. I did not want to be apart from him at all.

“Did you want me to wait out here while you rest?” Xavier asked, looking around awkwardly.

There were reclined chairs, and I knew Xavier was trying to give me the space he thought I needed, and I appreciated that. But right now, as selfish as it was, I needed him. I needed to feel safe in his arms. Even if I couldn’t sleep, I needed to be held by him.

I didn’t say anything. I just shook my head and reached for his hand. We both lay down on the bed, and Xavier pulled me into his arms. I didn’t have the urge to cry or even say anything. I just wanted Xavier to hold me. I wanted to feel safe while the world I had built for myself crashed and burned at my feet.

I curled my body into him, feeling secure in the warmth he gave me. I could feel him hesitate, so I grabbed his arm and wrapped it around me.

“I need you,” I whispered trying to find the words to convey what I didn’t even know how to myself.

“You have me, always, however you want, whatever you need,” Xavier whispered in response, his voice cracking.

In that moment, I realized that Xavier was hurting, too. I’d been so focused on what I was feeling, holding onto my anger and frustration at what was happening to me, secrets kept from me that I didn’t take into account what my boyfriend was feeling at all.

Did I want to walk away from what we shared because I was mad? No, absolutely not. I’d fallen fast and hard for Xavier. This was real for me, and I knew it was for him too. Real love takes work, patience, forgiveness, and belief in each other. If Xavier was just treating me as a means to an end as Greg had done, he wouldn’t be here right now.

“I am angry that you kept things from me, but I will forgive you. Just give me time. Please don’t give up on me. I’m hurting right now, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you or want this. I want you. I love you,” I tried to reassure Xavier.

His body shuddered, and I felt something damp on my shoulder. He was crying. Oh, my heart. I turned my body so that I was facing him and gently wiped away his tears.

I gently held his face in my small hands and made sure he was looking at me when I told him I loved him again. I kissed Xavier softly, and he choked back a sob.

“I love you. You are not going to lose me. I’m not going anywhere. I’m angry, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love you. I love you, Xavier Woods,” I said firmly.

I deepened the kiss, threading my hands in his hair. I loved this man. There was no doubt, nothing holding me back. Even my children, when their world was falling apart, knew they could trust and depend on him. This was more than lust and a romantic love that would fade. This was real in every way that mattered.

We moved slowly and carefully like we were unwrapping a precious gift. Our hands explored each other with a sense of delicacy, savoring every touch. We had been intimate many times in the past few days, but this was different - this was making love. As Xavier entered me, I gave myself over completely to the physical and emotional connection between our bodies and souls. He was claiming me just as much as I was claiming him. At that moment, there was no turning back; no one else could ever compare to him because he had all of me - my love, my body, and my soul.

After we made love, Xavier drifted off to sleep while I stayed awake, lying on top of him and feeling his steady heartbeat beneath me. It was just him and me; I didn't sense X's presence. But what did that mean? I honestly didn’t know. All that mattered was the love and forgiveness we shared as I reassured him of my commitment to him. It was almost as if he became complete again after hearing my words.