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58TH HEARTBEAT
Last Updated:
2023-04-11 06:57:52
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The Badboy's Heartbeat 59TH HEARTBEAT
XAVIER ROCKWELLI woke up in a daze or so that’s how I felt the moment I opened my eyes. My head’s feeling a little cranky, my vision was fuzzy and for some reasons, I feel like I’m floating on mid-air. It felt like I just had the longest slumber of my life and I was erratically confused to wake up in my bed at our tiny little apartment. I took some time breathe in and breathe out and then I suddenly heard a loud screaming and banging coming from the outside. I slowly propped myself up and sat on the bed as I quickly noticed myself dressed in a hospital gown. I slowly got up and then walking seemed like the easiest as if there’s some sort of wind carrying my own weight.When I brought myself outside to check on the ruckus, I was stupefied to see my mom and Hector going at each other’s throat. They were both yelling at the top of their lungs seemingly arguing about something I can’t even be
Last Updated : 2023-04-12The Badboy's Heartbeat 60TH HEARTBEAT
XAVIER ROCKWELLSometimes being alone effectively helps with your own thoughts and sanity. Even just for a sweet hour or half a day or even a full night. The utter silence feels like the widest and warmest embrace too and I’m glad that I’m spending the night alone in this hospital. It was my own choice and I’m very glad that I fought for it. My dad tried to assert his dominance over me trying to stay here with me but I already know what I want and I was even more adamant than him. In the end, he ended up letting me win the argument mostly because he’s a smart man and he knows he’s starting on his path to earning my forgiveness.Lying like a rock on my bed, I’m definitely starting to feel sore. It’s been two nights that I’m lying here basically doing nothing and I thought there was going to be no drama but I was dead ass wrong. Drama seemed to keep on finding me for some reasons
Last Updated : 2023-04-13The Badboy's Heartbeat 61ST HEARTBEAT
XAVIER ROCKWELLSpending the night alone again was somehow a blessing in disguise. I got the chance to lie down on my bed and without the exasperating presence of my mom and Hector, it felt heaven to me. I got the chance to actually make up my mind with the presence of silence that’s there to help me think. It was very much a self-reflecting moment and while I wasn’t expecting to talk myself this much, I may have enjoyed the solitary confinement.Jordi didn’t hold back earlier and everything that got out of his mouth made complete sense. He was right when he said he forgave me for everything that I’ve done to him and that I should at least give my dad a chance of the same chance that he gave me. I did a lot of unforgivable stuff towards Jordi and not only that he gave one but he basically swallowed his words and gave me a lot of chances. It takes a good heart to give out chances like they’re fly
Last Updated : 2023-04-14The Badboy's Heartbeat 62ND HEARTBEAT
JORDI ADKINSThe aromatic smell of freshly brewed coffee immediately invaded my nostril the moment I inched my way to our favorite café. I found Nikki and Jane already settled at our usual spot right at the very corner overlooking the street outside. We haven’t been here for almost two months and perhaps it’s because our lives have been so interesting. Jane’s very much busy hanging out with his college boyfriend. Nikki has been Nikki so far, she’s just out there partying and enjoying her life. And me. My life has drastically changed ever since I almost had a one night stand with my bully.“So, how was your boyfriend doing?” Jane asked and just as I settled down on my usual spot right in between her and Nikki. She slowly slid my order towards me.“He’s fine. He just got out of the hospital yesterday.” I replied grabbing the cup and slowly taking a huge sip of my iced-coffee.“So, Xavier’s fine? But why the long face though? Did something horrible happened at the hospital?” Nikki inquir
Last Updated : 2023-04-15The Badboy's Heartbeat 63RD HEARTBEAT
JORDI ADKINS“Why are you staring at me like that mom?” I stood right in front of the mirror looking at my shitty costume that my mom rushed to get me at some random store. Through the reflection, I could see my mom creeping up on me. “It’s creepy.”“I’m just... You’re a big boy now, Jordi.” She replied whimpering with such delight.“Mom, really?” I turned around to face her. “I’m about to turn eighteen in like three months from now. Why are you saying that as if I just turned fifteen yesterday. Quit treating me like a baby.” I went and it seemed that my mom’s not paying much attention to what I just said.“I just can’t believe my baby’s all grown up now.” She clutched her necklace staring at me as if she’s not ready to let me go out into the world. Although, she doesn’t actually need to know that I’ve been out there.“Er?...” I shook my head in utter annoyance.“It seems like yesterday you were just a crybaby and I’m just patching up your wounds here and there.” She breathes out just
Last Updated : 2023-04-16The Badboy's Heartbeat 64TH HEARTBEAT
JORDI ADKINS“Where are you taking me?” I inquired forced to trail behind Michiko who was just walking at such a fast pace as if someone’s running after her life.Michiko just ignored me and for a second, I was left hanging in the air thinking if I should just ditch her because frankly, I’m not friends with her or if should just be polite and follow her because she’s clearly the host of this party and I need to be in her good graces. I ended up choosing the latter.“This is my room.” She muttered once she led me inside this spacious abode adorned with lots of pink and girly stuff. The room felt definitely the gayest that I’ve seen in my entire life and I thought it was just some sort of a relaxation room and not her bedroom because it’s hell of a spacious room for just one person but I guess I just forgot that she’s filthy rich. “Welcome...”“Damn, Michiko. Your room looks more spacious than me and my parents’ room combined.” I said in awe.“Mich...”“What?”“My close friends call me
Last Updated : 2023-04-17The Badboy's Heartbeat 65TH HEARTBEAT
JORDI ADKINSThe night seemed very festive that even outside the Takao mansion, there are still plenty of people roaming around clad in their very own spooky costumes. Some are smoking behind these bushes, some are inching their way going towards the pool area on the east side where there’s a different sort of party happening and then some are already drunk as fuck most probably high too and they were just walking around like zombies.Zach and I just ran and ran until we got near the Koi pond where I had to stop because I almost tripped on my heels. I could already feel my knees burning. Who would’ve thought I would do some sort of a marathon on my first time wearing a six-inch pair of heels.“Are you okay?” Zach turned around and approached me.“Yeah, I’m fine.”“Alright.“The fuck was that? Did you just punch Chad right in the fucking face?” Breathing heavily, I couldn’t believe Zach just did what he did. I thought he was scared of Chad.“Hold on, you sound very familiar.” Zach repl
Last Updated : 2023-04-18The Badboy's Heartbeat 66TH HEARTBEAT
XAVIER ROCKWELLAs I walked inside this new expensive looking condominium space that my dad had bought for me, I was already beginning to wonder why he had to buy me a new place instead of just taking me to meet his family. It’s just an intrusive thought that I have in mind because I haven’t spoken a single word ever since he picked me up from that tiny little apartment that me and my mom had. Obviously for him, it’s such a complex entanglement and I was just having this fear that he might still be planning on hiding me for some unknown reasons. I don’t really know what’s going on with the old man and as much as I can, I tried my best to control my emotions and feelings. It was really difficult to not raise my voice at him and to smile fraudulently at him like everything’s alright when the truth was, there’s a small storm starting to form inside of me.Luckily for my own sanity, my dad decided it’s best to tell me the reason why he’s letting me stay at a different place rather than sh
Last Updated : 2023-04-19
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The Badboy's Heartbeat THE 100TH AND FINAL HEARTBEAT
JORDI ADKINSThe stars have gone out their way to align just for Xavier and I. That’s how I’ve been thinking for the past week ever since he agreed to be my prom date. Recovering our relationship wasn’t as easy as eating a slice of a fraudulently healthy carrot cake or travelling a path where you have already traveled before but it did happen. Xavier just lost his mom but it ended up becoming the reason for us to reconnect and come back even stronger. We bonded over losing one of the person that we love the most in the milky way.For him, it was his own mother and for me, it was my own grandmother. It’s clearly not a similar situation but there’s a clear path where it converges at the very center and it a very endearing moment where we just talked about how life is short and that you should live like there’s no tomorrow. Live like there’s no tomorrow, love intensely as if you don’t have anything else to give and laugh hard to your heart’s content; that’s what Xavier taught me.“Oh my
The Badboy's Heartbeat 99TH HEARTBEAT
JORDI ADKINSEver since the unfortunate passing of Xavier’s mom, he has been such a fun type of lad to hang out with quite surprisingly. It was initially difficult and confusing for me to adjust from this new whole new Xavier but I will admit, I am loving it as much as how I fell in love with the old Xavier.When my grandma passed away, I was in the longest state of shock and sorrow but eventually, I ultimately I learned how to recover from such loss. Xavier on the other hand, while I’m aware that he had cried a lot during his mother’s passing, he bizarrely took a hard left in probably the most positive way that I’ve seen of him. He said he’s going to live his best life and I don’t even have anything bad to say about his decisions in life.I took the ride with him and it has been the most fun and carefree adventure that I’ve ever had in my life. Initially, I had lots of doubts and confusions about Xavier’s intensely positive behavior but ultimately, as time passed by, I ended up falli
The Badboy's Heartbeat 98TH HEARTBEAT
XAVIER ROCKWELLThe day of the funeral came just as quickly as I lost my own mother and honestly speaking, I wasn’t, in any means, ready to get up from my bed and slip unto something somber and black. I only had a two hours of sleep because I spent the entire night quietly sobbing inside my room. After all, it is the only time that I could cry and cry and really cry hard without thinking about nobody.I couldn’t stop thinking about my mom and how I should’ve been present for her. I am absolutely aware of the lingering fact that she was struggling and I was entirely glad that she finally decided to checked herself into a rehab. However, you don’t really know what’s going on inside people’s mind even if they say they’re fine and they say they’re ready for a change. I don’t really have any sort of idea if my mom just gave into the temptation of the outside world or if Hector somehow managed to talk her out if or even possibly bribed her with something or if she just missed sniffing powde
The Badboy's Heartbeat 97TH HEARTBEAT
XAVIER ROCKWELLHugging Jordi Adkins for the first time in a very long while was just the thing that I needed at this point in my life. At first, Jordi was clearly astounded when I first yanked him over into a desperate hug but eventually, he returned the favor and it was just as soothing as I expected it to be. It’s the kind of embrace that I’ve been longing for and I’m finally having it. It felt good to be here with Jordi because I don’t know if I could take what’s happening around in my life anymore.It’s been a while since I’ve been treating Jordi like he does not exist in my very own universe. I tried to fix it with him when I met the couple Dominic and Valentine but since then, I haven’t really had the best time to even focus on getting Jordi back. When I went to Jordi’s house, I felt super disappointed by the fact that he’s already going out with someone else just a few weeks after I ended things with him. It was mindboggling to be perfectly honest. And when I got back home, th
The Badboy's Heartbeat 96TH HEARTBEAT
JORDI ADKINS“X-xavier?” Nikki was taken by a huge surprise just as she recognized the guy inside the yellow sports car.“Oh my god, it’s Xavier.” Jane whispered behind my ears but I was already having a lot of mixed emotions swirling up inside of me.My heart began to beat twice as fast and I don’t know if I was ready to see Xavier just as early as now. It’s true that I missed him so badly and I don’t even want to admit that to myself because I’m trying to get past him. Apparently, I have a long way to go now that I saw him today. I feel like I’m about to throw up but I also feel like I’m about to pass out at the very same time.Xavier looked amazingly different and that was the part of me who’s still hoping that we could fix this speaking on my behalf. He dyed his hair black and he looked bizarrely different but still hot as ever. I felt a slight pang on my chest and it seemed that my tongue got cut off.“I’m sorry, Nikki.” Xavier uttered.“Oh, shit. You dyed your hair black?” Nikki
The Badboy's Heartbeat 95TH HEARTBEAT
JORDI ADKINSI woke up with the slow golden light of midday filtering through my window. I forgot how many days it has been until I walked out of my room and then I realized today was already the twenty-fourth. It seemed to me like it was just a blink of an eye but I guess that’s all because the days were pretty much uninteresting. I’m doing nothing but showing up for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I’ve been sleeping for so long that it became an underlying concern for my protective mother. She said that sleeping for more than eight hours was a simple sign of sorrow that could lead to depression. I guess she was right about it. I am really that much depressed and she completely knows why. I don’t even know why I’m getting so mopey when I’ve been trying my best to block Xavier’s unrelenting presence off of my mind.It was just a few hours left before Christmas and this year, one thing is for sure, I’m not much excited as I was last year or the year before that and the year before that ye
The Badboy's Heartbeat 94TH HEARTBEAT
JORDI ADKINSIt was the smell of alcohol evaporating from my body mixed with a banging headache that got me running towards the toilet when I woke up from going to that house party Nikki invited us into. I was throwing up so badly that I almost felt like I’m going to start barfing all of my insides. I was hugging the toilet bowl as if it was the only friend I have in this trying times.I spent almost half an hour on the bathroom floor thinking I’m dying up until the moment my mom knocked on the door. I instantly felt good when I heard her screaming out my name. There seemed to be some sort of a healing power coming from her voice that made me stand up from hugging the toilet seat.“Jordi, Are you okay in there, sweetie?”“Yes, mom. I’m just throwing up, I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.” I yelled back.“Oh, I’m not worried about you, sweetie. I’m just knocking to remind you that you need to clean up your mess up in there. That’s what you get for overdrinking. I told you to drink moderat
The Badboy's Heartbeat 93RD HEARTBEAT
XAVIER ROCKWELLXander’s birthday party was well prepared for and it was as grand as the MET gala that there’s even a photoshoot at the gate for every person arriving. I was just taking a peek on my window but I could see everything. I don’t think I’ve celebrated a birthday like this in my life. Though, to me, the way I see things panning out, this was going to be the last birthday that Xander was ever going to celebrate in this household. Xander mentioned that he’s going to be kicked out of the house once this party was over and I felt slightly bothered and sad by that.The outfit that was given to me to wear was draped on the bed and it was just waiting for me to slip on them for the entire hour. It was a yellow suit with touches of black and a few sparkling stones. I don’t even want to be invited to this party and that’s all because I’m developing such laziness. I’m very lazy to go out there and meet new people.Right after slipping on the suit that was provided for me, I looked ov
The Badboy's Heartbeat 92ND HEARTBEAT
XAVIER ROCKWELLThe dinner with my dad’s family did not go well just as I was expecting it. The tension within the family was very much evident from the get go. I may have unconsciously observed everything.My dad and his wife Rachel doesn’t have the best relationship of husband and wife and anyone could’ve guessed that right away. They weren’t very subtle with how they’re treating each other even right in front of their children. In fact, I do remember my dad somehow loved my mother in a very different sense than what I just witnessed between him and his original wife and the mother of his three children. In this world, while it’s very much common that patriarchy is ruling, I have sensed Rachel was also after the money.Xiomara was that one member of the family who just doesn’t know how to adjust and is charged up with built-up anger and some nasty attitude. She hated everything and everyone. I’m personally giving her the benefit of the doubt because I don’t have any idea of the thin
