Hi guys,
I know you guys are probably tired of hearing me say this...but I am not in the perfect mental health to continue this story right now, at least not as daily updates.
This story is almost towards the end and I know if I pulled through this month, then it would've ended, however, my mental health has started to deteriorate once again. Probably because my pills aren't working anymore, so I do need a doctor check up real soon.
Thing with depressive disorders is that you never get a clue when it's about to hit. I was feeling absolutely fine last week, in fact, my writing was better too, I was writing almost 7K every day. But then, since Monday morning, I fiund myself unable to get out of bed and combined with the flu, I'm completely crushed. Barely had any sleep for the last three days and it keeps getting worse. I've been crying one minute and laughing the next. Feeling like I'm no longer relevant and no one loves me.
Yes, I know all that sounds kinda pathetic but it's completely out of my control.
It doesn't mean I'm stopping writing, I don't think I can because even taking a day off feels like a crime to me. But I will try to focus on my Non-exclusive book for the time being, the boys love (gay) stories that I am writing. And I really hope that I can get back up on my feet as fast as I can.
So, I'm really sorry for being that person once again. And I really hope you understand my situation. I'll try my best to update the rest of the chapters by the end of the month. If not, definitely next month.
Thank you, for everyone who has been supporting this story all this time. You guys mean a lot to me.
Chapter 75: EthanFaith’s P.O.V“Faith, have something.” Debby slid her salad bowl across the table towards me. “You’ve been running around all morning for these submissions. You need to eat or you’ll be passed out in the middle of the hallway somewhere and we wouldn’t even be able to help you!”“Babe, give the girl a break,” Nik sighed from beside her. “Your nagging reminds me of my mother sometimes.”I looked up at Nik sharply, the assignment temporarily forgotten as an avalanche of old memories threatened to destroy whatever sense of sanity I had been able to establish over the past few weeks.“Monika!” Debby snapped at her girlfriend, her elbow jabbing into her side as Nik winced and gave me an apologetic look.“Sorry.”I shook my head, getting back to finishing the rest of my assignment. “It&rsqu
Chapter 76: Sick to the StomachFaith’s P.O.VI watched Ethan leave before I turned back to my friends, my mood significantly dampened now that I was burdened with the weight of this new information.Unfortunately, I wasn’t the only one who was bothered by the news of the video and this time, Nik looked visibly pissed.“Bloody motherfuckers!” She cursed out, and I had no doubt in my mind that it was directed at the women who had taken the video. “I thought it was gone for good! I thought Brandon’s dad with all his influence and power would’ve been able to get rid of it for good! But now I find out that over 50K bloody people have watched it?”“Babe…” Debby put a hand on Nik’s shoulder, trying to calm her down. “You know it’s not your fault. You couldn’t have done anything to stop it. Besides, if someone had screen recorded th
Chapter 77: False AlarmFaith’s P.O.V“One month.”The weight of those words settled within me, weighing me down as the full impact made the blood inside my veins turn to ice.One month…How had I not noticed that I had been late for one month! One whole month!“Faith…let’s calm down first, ok…” Debby placed her hands on my shoulders, trying to offer some form of comfort, but it wasn’t helping. “Periods can be late for various reasons! Stress, metabolism…diet? Anything is possible! Have you ever had this problem before? Or PCOD or something like that?”“No.” I shook my head numbly, feeling bile rise to my throat yet again as the realization slowly settled in, along with the implication of what this could mean… “N-never. I’ve n-never h-had problems b-before…”I stuttered,
Chapter 78: Burning BridgesBrandon’s P.O.V“Pass me that paper? No…not-that one. Ethan!”Faith’s familiar laughter filled the near-empty library before she placed a hand on top of her mouth and swallowed her laughter, owing to the glare from the librarian, and I felt a familiar ache in my heart as longing filling my entire being just at the mere sight of her.These past few weeks…this is as close to Faith as I had gotten. Every time I tried to take a step…every time I tried to cross the bridges that had formed between us…the knowledge of a shared horrible past wrenched me back with a force that knocked the wind out of my lungs.People say that a child should always strive to make their parents proud. But what about the parents? What about their mistakes? What about their crimes?Why do we have to bear the burden of their pasts, their mistakes?When
Chapter 79: Forgiving the PastFaith’s P.O.V“Whose car is that?”I peeked my head out of the window of the passenger’s seat as Debby brought her car to a stop right in front of her yard.“Do you recognize it?” I asked her yet again, but it was probably my mistake. Since the jump scare we got at school with the pregnancy test, Nik and Debby had been having a…disagreement…since Nik initially thought that the test was for Debby, and she had been in a sour mood ever since.“Sure, Faith, let me just whip up the list of every damn person in Florida that owns a Chevrolet Suburban!” Debby rolls her eyes at me as she cuts off the ignition. “Oh! Wait…I don’t own one!”“Geez! I don’t even know what brand we’re talking about.” I shrugged, pointing to the car in front of my house. “To me that’s just
Chapter 80: Expect the UnexpectedFaith’s P.O.VAs Brandon’s father’s words settled within me, I felt an odd sense of calmness descend upon me like I had never felt before.Why couldn’t he have been my father?A small voice whispered inside my head.His one advice had seemed more useful than all of my father’s preaching’s combined. And he hadn't exactly been following his own preaching’s to begin with; rather, twisting his words so that he could manipulate my mother and me, keep us unaware and under his control until the very end.“How is…Brandon doing?” I finally mustered up the courage to ask him; but I wasn’t able to meet his eyes.Brandon had never introduced me to his father as his girlfriend. I don’t think he ever planned to until this mess threw everything off-balance.From what Debby told me, at least he h
Chapter 81: Accepting the TruthFaith’s P.O.VRing, ring…Ring, ring…“Come on…come on…”Ring, ring…Ring, ring…“Fuck! I don’t-I can’t! Debby! Fucking-pick up the phone!”Ring, ring…Rin-“Hey! Sorry! I-”“I’m pregnant.”“Sorry?”Sitting in the bathroom of a convenience store a few miles away from my house, I stared at the pregnancy test in my hand, one of three that I had taken in the last ten minutes…at the two lines that stared right back at me.Actually, only two out of the three showed the faint second line, but combined with the test I took earlier, that was three positive tests out of four. Which definitely meant a positive…I didn’t know how I was going to deal with this, or what I was even going to do from here on out…but one thing was for certain…I needed to accept the truth about this pregnancy.“One of the lines…it’s really faint…but it’s there.” I swallowed, trying to keep my voice from trembling as I looked at the lines, hoping that if I continued to stare at it, it jus
Chapter 82: Desperate AttemptsBrandon’s P.O.VThe sound of the race cars zooming past gave me an odd sense of comfort as I watched yet another race commence and the crowd erupt into cheers.Two of the cops standing to the side kept their eyes on the situation, while the gang that made these secret races happen had an array of bodyguards lining up in all directions to keep thing in order.I chuckled almost humorlessly. Of course the cops were involved in this. With this caliber of noise and lights? There was no doubt about it. And they probably were getting a good paycheck out of it. Even more than their monthly payouts at the station.Shaking my head, I headed towards the back of the crowd where the waiting rooms were, deciding to wait until my turn.Leaning back against one of the chairs, I closed my eyes, folding my arms across my chest, and waited, the low hum of the motors outside almost lulling m