Five - The Mermaid is Funny

Hunter

The entire ride back to my apartment was silent. Blue continued to look out of the window. Even though she'd stopped crying, her expressions were a dead giveaway that something was wrong. She'd slipped on my t-shirt from before, her hands joined in her lap. When we came back to my apartment, Blue settled down on my bed and continued to stare into space. Leslie was rolling on the floor with joy, unable to contain his happiness on the return of his new best friend.

My eyes flicked to the t-shirt she was wearing. The neckline was so big on her that it slipped down from the right shoulder showing off a creamy complexion. With her beautiful naturally dried aqua hair, she looked effortlessly pretty. She was so perfect that I wanted her to keep that t-shirt on forever.

That reminded me, if she were to stay here even temporarily, I ought to get her some real women's garments and that meant I was going to be low on cash once again. I could coax Hannah, my half-sister to help out with the dilemma.

Blue and Hannah seemed like they were pretty much similar sizes. The only differences I could see between Hannah and Blue were, Hannah was as ugly as a fucking duck, no matter how much Fred lusted over her, I didn't see that idiot being anything attractive to any guy. When I looked at Hannah all I could see was her snotty nose and her being in diapers and me having to change it multiple times during the time I used to babysit her while our parents attended parties and when the nanny got sick all of a sudden. (You know, sick after sucking face with our house butler)

Blue was shorter, cuter and gorgeous. When I looked closely, I could see why I'd thought she was different since the day I found her. She seemed like she'd walked right out of a Mythological book. I didn't ask her what happened or why she had returned, it seemed to me like she needed some alone time to think and I owed her that privacy.

A few minutes passed in silence and then she whispered. "The gates were closed."

"What gates?"

"The gates to the underworld. Those were open before I left that place but now the gates are closed. I can't open them and the guards didn't let me in. It seems the Gods don't want me to come back." Her body shook.

I opened my messy wardrobe and pulled out a clean blanket and placed it over her shoulders. "Why won't they let you?"

"Coming into the human world is forbidden. It's one of the greatest sins. When I swam away from the engagement party, I didn't realize where I was going until it was too late and the fishermen took me." She explained. "I wasn't supposed to come into your world, Hunter, and now that I'm here, I don't know how to go back."

Her nose had gotten drippy and I realized she would turn my bed into boogerville so I brought a tissue box and placed a tissue on her nose. "Blow," I instructed.

And she blew into the tissue in a very unattractive fashion. Any other girl would have been shy at the prospect of even considering to blow their nose in tissue under my supervision because most girls I knew acted like they had clean noses since birth and never burped or farted their entire life.

"I don't know what to do." She cried and wiped at her tears with the heels of her palm. "These tears, they just won't stop. I was not such an emotional person before. What is happening to me?!" She asked frustrated.

The reality was still feeling like a dream.

She was a mermaid.

There was a freakin Mermaid on my bed.

Blue stared at me, agitation on her features. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Nothing," I said. "It's just hard for me to comprehend the fact that I'm having a conversation with a beautiful mermaid, a real one."

Her cheeks turned crimson. "Well, I couldn't believe until yesterday that I was living with a handsome boy either."

"Oh, so you think I'm handsome, huh?"

She rolled her eyes. "As if you didn't know that. Are you betrothed to someone?"

I stared at her incredulously, "beth...what?"

Blue sighed as if I was stupid and didn't understand anything. "I was betrothed to Adrian, who I was supposed to marry. Were you also betrothed to someone?" She repeated.

Betrothed! How old fashion. Who said that word anymore but Blue wasn't even from here. Maybe they were still old fashion down below.

"I'm not engaged to anyone and neither am I dating. Well, I used to but that's another story."

Blue stared at me in surprise. "What's dating?"

"When a man and a woman like each other, they date."

"What happens when they date?" She asked in her childlike curiosity and it was killing me. No one can be so beautiful and be this innocent.

Although the questions were a bit annoying, I didn't mind answering them as long as the girl wasn't looking sad any longer. It seemed like the "Dating" conversation was working and she wasn't having dark thoughts.

"When a girl and a guy date, they go out and have fun. Dinner, movies..." sex... she didn't need to know that so I avoided that word. "You know stuff like that."

Her eyes were sparkling with curiosity. "And then they get married right?"

"No, Blue. Dating doesn't necessarily mean that it ends in marriage. Most relationships don't work. People who marry are in love. Dating is something to just get to know someone."

She nodded like she understood what that meant. "So after they get married, they kiss and have a human baby, right?"

I almost burst out laughing. If only babies were born through kissing, I'd probably be fathering over a hundred.

"Why are you laughing?" She asked me, irritated.

"There's a lot more than just kissing that gets a woman pregnant, alright? But it's best I'll tell you that some other time."

"Why can't you tell me now?" She insisted like a four-year-old asking her mom if babies were given by fairies.

"Because it's fucking complicated, okay?" I said almost irritated.

"Are you mad at me?" She asked.

I signed. I realized I must practice more control over my anger issues. I couldn't be violent around this girl. She was sweet and trying to learn about humans and there was nothing wrong she was doing if she was just a wee bit curious.

"I'm not mad at you, Blue. I just don't think it's an appropriate subject to discuss at the moment. I promise you I'll explain everything soon." I assured her with a smile. "For now, go to bed. Tomorrow morning, we can go shopping."

"Shopping?" She beamed "For human clothes? Can I get a nice dress?"

I nodded. "Anything you want."

With that, I knew I'd pulled her out of her bad mood momentarily. We had to figure out how she would go home but that thought could rest for the moment. She was here for as long as it took for the underworld mermaid land gates to open or whatever shit she'd said so that meant she was going to stick around for a while. And while Blue was here, the least I could do was show her a good time. I went to sleep on that thought.

***

I couldn't skip college today not when I'd already been blacklisted a few times for being a 'no show' a dozen times. If I wanted to pass the semester, I needed to attend classes just for the heck of it. I decided to take the afternoon classes, that way I had time with Blue.

I prepared breakfast, scrambled eggs this time and Blue gobbled it down like she'd escaped a deserted Island. It was amusing to watch her struggle with a fork and a knife. She couldn't even hold it properly, she was like a three year old hell-bent on poking the food. I chuckled softly, not wanting her to feel bad about me laughing at her.

I taught her how to hold it by wrapping my fingers around hers and helping her cut the food with a knife and fork. It was like teaching table manners to a child. Blue was clearly exhausted so I let her eat with her hands the way she fancied; sucking her fingers and licking her palms.

I couldn't help as I burst out laughing. She stopped licking midway and pouted. "What's so funny?"

***

Blue 🧜🏼‍♀️

I'd caught Hunter staring at me more than once and I wondered if it was because there was something wrong with my face or the shock of seeing a fishtail had scarred him for life.

I couldn't shake this feeling of nervousness inside me. I'd always wanted a human friend and this was my chance but I knew not to show my tail to him had blown it.

I was lying down on the bed, going through a magazine when Hunter walked out of the steaming bathroom, a towel wrapped tightly around his trim waist. His golden-brown hair was wet. His chest was bare, water droplets grazing it and I couldn't help but notice the light brown hair on his abdomen. The designs on his arms looked nice. I mentally reminded myself to ask him about those later. I licked my lips and there was a strange sensation between my thighs. I clammed them shut tightly. The human body was strange, and I was still learning.

Hunter chuckled. "Wanna have me for lunch?"

"What?"

He was still grinning. "You were drooling just a minute ago and that made me wonder if you were lusting over this fabulous body." He said reaching for a water bottle and taking a drink.

"Lusting?" I asked curiously. "I don't know what that is. Although if I should admit, I was curious."

"Curious about?"

"About what's under that towel of yours."

Hunter spat out a spray of water unattractively, set the bottle down and roared with laughter. "Well..what do you think there is?" He asked, leaning back against the kitchen stool.

I shook my head. Mer-men just had scales like mine from the waist down and reproductive organs like a fish so I had no idea what humans had. I couldn't even guess if I tried because there weren't any books with pictures to explain that. "My friend Oceana said boys on land have a penis."

"Huh, and what is a penis, do you know?"

I shook my head. "I was wondering if you can perhaps show me."

Hunter covered his face with his hand and laughed. I thought I saw his face turn a bright shade of red.

I filled both my cheeks with air, showing that I was mad and threw a pillow at him. "You're always laughing at me, Hunter!"

He dodged it and stopped laughing, but there was still a trace of it. "I'm sorry, Blue but you're really amusing because you're blunt. I have never met a funnier girl than you."

I pouted. "Why can't you just show me your male part?"

Still amused, he padded towards his cupboard and pulled out a t-shirt similar to the one I wore. "I'm sorry, sweetheart, but it just doesn't work that way."

"Just show it to me. I won't touch, I promise." I assured him.

He threw the t-shirt over his head, laughing and I watched as the fabric fit him perfectly, tight over his broad chest and snuggled to his biceps. "I can't, Blue." He then pulled something that was called pants that humans wore until the waist.

I tilted my head to try and get a peek, just to see if the towel slid down to showcase the mystery but it didn't. The towel slid down but the pants were right in place. Since his back was faced towards me, I couldn't see a thing.

I groaned and dug my face in the covers. I watched as he picked up the keys of that car he drove and realized he was going somewhere.

"Are you going somewhere?" I asked.

"College." He responded. "You're going to be alone for a few hours. Do you think you can handle being alone?"

"Why can't I come with you?" I asked.

I knew college meant school for the grown-up kids. I would have loved to go to college and learn more human things.

"You can't." He said flatly. "But while you're here you can watch the idiot box."

"Idiot box?" I asked.

He took a black thing that resembled rock and switched on a screen on the wall. "The television I mean. Watch anything you like. It's fun."

He proceeded to show me another technology device that he called a "laptop" and showed me Youtube where there were a bunch of videos and educational stuff. The tab on top of it said "Kids Youtube"

"If you are bored with cartoons, you can always switch back to the normal channel and watch something else. Okay?"

I nodded. "Thanks, Hunter."

"There's a kid who lives downstairs, Keegan. He comes over sometimes to take Leslie to the park. Hand over the leash to him."

"Okay, Hunter."

He then showed me how to lock and open the door. "Will you really be alright?"

"I will." I wasn't a baby but Hunter seemed to be treating me like one. How hard could it be?

"And then when I come back home say around five p.m, we can go out for some shopping to get some new clothes for you. Sounds fun?"

I clapped my hands excitedly. "Yes!"

Hunter also gave me another device and said I could make "calls" on it. It was the same as a shell-phone back in the Ocean. He asked me to call him if I needed anything.

"Leslie, be a good boy and take care of Blue, okay?"

Leslie barked and said "yes". Jumping excitedly. "Bring me the meat flavored sticks, Hunt!" He barked but of course, Hunter couldn't hear it as he shut the door behind him.

Leslie quietly walked towards me and sat down in my lap.

He looked at me with sleepy eyes. "Let's watch a movie."