Chapter 3 Crazy for Loving YouThe rest of the pack house was exactly what I would have expected from seeing the basement: infested with dust bunnies and poorly maintained. We passed through a large living room on our way up from the basement, where three younger werewolves were lounging on the couch, playing some kind of outdated video game. They all glanced up as Ian and Nate led me through, and they sneered, but they didn’t say anything. I could hear other voices in the house, though, maybe coming from what I thought had to be the kitchen around the corner. I could smell food from that direction. The smell turned my stomach and made me ache with hunger all at once.The whole scene made me shudder. So many werewolves in one place…ugh. I wasn’t a pack animal, and the mingled scents and close quarters were just disgusting.We went up the stairs, along a gross mint-green hallway that looked like it belonged in a cut-rate mental institution, and right up to a closed door with peeling
Chapter 4 Near But Not So DearMatthew shoved the remains of the door out of his way and stood framed in the gap, his shoulders filling it from side to side. Yeah, maybe he wasn’t quite as big as his brother, or the hulking beast who was guarding the bedroom door. But he was tall, and broad, and an alpha; he had sixty pounds and five inches on me at the least.And he was looking at me like I was his next meal. His eyes glowed, and his canines had lengthened.Ready to pierce my flesh and make me his, whether I wanted it or not.“Matthew,” I said, trying for calm, even though my body quivered with the force of my rapid heartbeat. “Matthew, don’t. You don’t want to mate with me. I’d be a terrible mate. You hate me. Remember? I don’t cook and I don’t submit and I don’t —”I broke off, all my other undesirable traits fleeing my mind and the words withering on my dry tongue as he stepped forward, slowly and deliberately. It was so much worse than if he’d rushed me. Another step, and now h
Chapter 5 You Don’t Know Me at AllMy nose twitched, picking up the smell of ham, and Nate fled my mind. Ham. Actual meat. I rolled away from Matthew, nothing in my head but the need to go and eat everything in sight, and I yelped as a muscular arm wrapped around my middle and yanked me back onto the bed.“Touching, remember?” Matthew said gruffly, his voice coming from way too close to my ear. He pressed up behind me, his chest against my back, a wall of heat and strength.“I can get the tray,” I gasped. “I’ll bring it back. Just let me at the sandwiches before I eat you.”He laughed, and I felt it more than heard it. “I wouldn’t say no. I’d rather do it the other way around, though.”Oh, and that — that put images in my head. Lots of them. Vivid ones, starting with Matthew pinning my hips and sucking my cock down his throat, and rapidly moving on to me on my hands and knees with my ass in the air, and Matthew busy with his lips and tongue between my cheeks.“Sandwiches,” I said as
Chapter 6 Two Mates too ManyBeing in the same room with Matthew, Ian, Nate, and two members of the pack council wasn’t my idea of a good time. The fact that I was sitting on Matthew’s lap made it so much worse.My hands were clammy, and I had a twitch in the muscle next to my nose. Matthew was warm and solid. I wanted to hate it.None of that compared to knowing that Parker had found me, was coming for me, and would be here to take me within the next fifty minutes or so. If I had my manacles off, I’d kill him.As it was, I had to depend on the Armitage pack to protect me, and that was a losing proposition in more ways than I could count.We were arranged around the pack house’s large battered dining-room table, in mismatched chairs that looked like thrift store rejects. Matthew’s chair, at the head of the table, was the largest — which meant it only creaked a little under our combined weight. Ian sat at our right, with Nate beside him, and the two members of the council took the ot
Chapter 7 Enemies New and OldParker led the way, his usual swagger and smirk very much in place. He was objectively handsome, in a blond-and-stacked kind of way, but he was also such a stereotypical alpha douchebag, with his big black motorcycle boots and t-shirt with the cutoff sleeves. Not to mention the forced mating thing. Seeing him again, after months of trying to forget him, I was almost shivering with the desire to flay his flesh from his bones and watch him die screaming. Flanking him were Tyler and four more of his enforcers, with several more behind them, all of them dressed like Parker-clones.And the Kimballs were right behind them: Bill Kimball, Sam’s younger brother, and Bill’s son Colin, along with two more weres I didn’t know by name but had seen in passing while I was living in the Kimball territory.Of course, neither of them had a shaman — and even though I’d been sort-of allied with Adam for months, that gave me a little bit of pleasure amidst the fear that we
Chapter 8 Cheats Never ProsperAlmost too quickly for me to follow, Matthew ducked under Tyler’s swipe and came up with his own claws extended, slashing across Tyler’s belly. He connected, but Tyler lurched back quickly enough to confine the damage to his shirt.Matthew twisted into another attack, more quickly than I’d expected given his bulk, going for Tyler’s shoulder with his left hand. That drew blood; droplets spattered from Tyler’s shoulder, and I heard the faint scrape of claws against bone. Tyler growled in pain and staggered back. Matthew’s claws stuck for a split second, though, and that was enough: Tyler lashed out, raking his claws down Matthew’s extended arm.Crimson blood soaked through Matthew’s white t-shirt, spreading like ink. Matthew took a step back and shook his head as if to clear it.When he threw himself back into the fight, his movements were slower. Noticeably slower. And he was still bleeding — he wasn’t healing.And Parker was grinning, his eyes fixed on
Chapter 9 Down the DrainIt was quite a while later, going by the dark window and the glow of the lamp on the nightstand, when I crawled out of a groggy sleep to the sound of quiet voices. Long practice with waking up in strange places had given me the ability to come to consciousness without stirring or making a sound, so I lay there perfectly still, figuring out who was there before I let them know I was awake.“…saved my life,” Matthew was saying. “He’s a little shit, but he’s obviously not a total psycho.”Ah, they were talking about me. How nice. I’d have gotten that just from the ‘little shit’ descriptor, but good to know I wasn’t the worst person Matthew had ever met.That was probably Jonathan Hawthorne. Jonathan Hawthorne had probably been the worst person anyone who’d met him had ever met. Not for the first time, I wondered if Nate had actually had it worse than I had, growing up with that for a father. I mean, I’d been totally without parents — my long-lost adoptive broth
Chapter 10 You Always Have a ChoiceSlowly, carefully, Matthew let go of my wrists and loosened the arm around me. I stood pliant, not fighting and not moving and not — anything at all. I didn’t have anything more in me.He turned me in his arms. I leaned back against the wall, letting the cool breeze from the open window fan my burning cheeks and ruffle my long hair. It felt good. If I left my eyes closed I could almost pretend I was outside, somewhere far away from anywhere, somewhere no one could find me.There was a huge boulder on a hill near where I’d lived as a kid, during those few years when everything was more or less all right. While my brother worked nights as a security guard, I’d shift and run out there, scrambling up to the top to gaze down at the world spread out beneath me. It was just a run-of-the-mill small town in northeastern Oregon, but it was my domain, and I’d stand there and let the wind rustle through my hair, or my fur, depending on whether I’d shifted or
EpilogueYou Don’t Want a Choice“Mr. Castelli,” Laura said, and smiled warmly. “Go right in. He’s never too busy for you.”“You know it’s Blake.” She shook her head, laughed, and went back to typing.I hadn’t yet given up on trying to convince Declan’s assistant that I didn’t deserve any particular formality; after nearly four months of trying, though, I’d started to fear it was hopeless.I set the double latte I’d grabbed on my way at the edge of her desk—if she insisted on calling me Mr. Castelli, I’d at least make sure she said it with affection—and stepped into Declan’s office.He glanced up from his laptop and then immediately back down again, which I knew meant “I’ll forget what I was typing if I don’t do it right now.” At first that’d hurt my feelings. Shades of being treated like an unwelcome and disliked inconvenience at Castelli Industries, of so many times I’d been called on the carpet in my father’s office only to be ignored until he deigned to notice me. But I knew it w
Chapter 21A Lucky ManIf I’d really tried, I might’ve been able to look at a calendar and count how many times Declan had laid me out on his bed, naked and waiting for him to take what he wanted.But I didn’t need to count to know that it’d never been like this.He settled me on my back, head carefully placed on a pillow, kneeling between my legs and leaning down to stroke a hand through my hair and down my cheek, coming to rest across my throat. Instead of a threat, it felt like safety.All right, a little bit of a threat.But that only had my cock perking up, getting harder every second that he pinned me down, glowing eyes fixed on my face with an intensity that would’ve had any sane man running away screaming.Or spreading his legs.I went with option two, letting my knees fall open to give him full access, my arms relaxed at my sides. Touching him—I wanted to, and I would. But right now I knew what he needed from me, and that was complete surrender, allowing him to re-stake his
Chapter 20Ten Years AgoNo matter how many times I’d daydreamed about Declan kissing me, the reality far outstripped the fantasy—and how often could you say that about anything? His mouth took control of mine the same way his body had taken control of me so many times, opening me and tasting me and laying me bare for him to use however he wanted.Which happened to be what I wanted too, so badly that I ached for it. His tongue teased between my lips and twined with mine as his arms tightened, gathering me so close that not a millimeter of space was left in between us.Declan kissed me until I couldn’t breathe, my lungs hot and laboring. All the pain and fear of the last few hours melted away, a much better and more natural kind of magic than the ones I’d experienced so far tonight.I pressed against him, kissing him back with everything I had, trying to spread my legs and wrap myself around him and take him into me so that he’d never leave.Declan tore his mouth away and lifted his h
Chapter 19My Life MatteredWhen I woke up, the SUV was moving—but I couldn’t shift so much as a muscle. My head had gotten crammed against the door and my neck ached like a bitch. My arms lay limp, one dangling to the floor of the car and the other on my leg. I tried to twitch a finger.No go.I couldn’t open my eyes, either, or speak. My autonomous functions weren’t affected, though: I could still hyperventilate. Lucky me.Kidnapped. I’d been fucking kidnapped, and the first thing Declan would do would be call me. No doubt they’d gotten rid of my phone. Then he’d look for me. He wouldn’t find me. And then he’d probably request—and be allowed, professional courtesy and all that—to review the security footage of me leaving the party and the path I’d followed from there.For a brief, shining instant, I almost felt relieved. Declan would look for me, he’d see the video and know—despair squeezed my chest into a tight ball.He’d see me looking nervous and running out of the building as i
Chapter 18This Won’t Go OnDeclan hustled me out the door the second I emerged from the bathroom, ushering me downstairs and into a waiting limo. A nice one: black, not too stretched, no neon lights or anything tacky, nothing I’d have to be embarrassed about riding in.I tried to focus on how good it felt to be wearing decent clothes, going somewhere in a respectable vehicle, and for fuck’s sake, actually leaving the Morrigan and going somewhere, rather than on being in an enclosed space with Declan and our combined scents of sex and alpha desire.If I focused on that, I’d end up begging him to knot me in the car after all.The limo pulled out of the Morrigan’s driveway and into traffic on the Strip. It was Friday night stop and go. Maybe we had time for a fuck after all?“Where are we going? Am I allowed to ask?”“Not far,” he said, putting paid to my hopes. “A few blocks. If I’d been going with Wa—colleagues I probably would’ve walked. I thought you might appreciate going in style
Chapter 17I Missed Your VoiceSince I’d never slept in Declan’s bed before, I woke up confused, disoriented, and with a mouth that tasted like someone had murdered a particularly sandy desert and buried its corpse under my tongue.Well, that last part didn’t have anything to do with Declan’s bed, to be fair.I rolled over and groaned, throwing an arm across my eyes to keep the sunlight out, because someone had left the blinds wide fucking open when he got up and went to work.I knew I’d be fine once I had a couple of glasses of water and a bite to eat; hangovers weren’t really that much of a thing for werewolves without serious effort involving multiple illicit substances, and I hadn’t been to a party that good in like, six months. But seriously. Close the damn blinds. Fuck.It crossed my mind to find my phone, make some coffee, and send him a text complaining about the window.And then I sat bolt upright, head in my hands, and let out another groan.I’d slept in his bed. We hadn’t
Chapter 16Kind of EndearingI woke up the next day just after eight o’clock, early by my previous standards but late by the standards of the company I kept these days. The cold coffee pot, holding only a few teaspoons of dregs, told me that Declan had been up and gone for hours. The usual hundred dollar bill sat beside it.That felt a little bit like I’d been slapped. I’d sat there and worked on that stupid spreadsheet for three full hours the day before without even getting up for a glass of water. I’d only stopped when Declan stood, put on his jacket, and told me it was quitting time.But apparently he assumed I’d be right back to blackjack and vodka today.Well, fuck him.I made a fresh pot of coffee, ordered some room service—an omelet, because I knew if I had any carbs at all I’d fall asleep with my face in the keyboard—and dressed in the closest thing I had to what the other people I’d seen in the offices had been wearing, black slacks and a blue button-down. I couldn’t wear a
Chapter 15Try MeLetting it all go seemed easy at first.I’d spent so many years showing—and allowing myself to feel—only the most surface of emotions: anger, entitlement, arrogance. Under the circumstances, I chose to temporarily trade those in for indifference, apathy, and resignation, but it was just as fake and just as likely to keep people from looking any deeper.My family hadn’t looked any deeper. Neither had Declan. Clearly, no one wanted to.And it worked. When I didn’t try to fight back, didn’t bother arguing or demanding answers, Declan didn’t go out of his way to humiliate or torment me aside from the rough, careless way he used me. He texted me at some point during the day to let me know when he wanted me available to be fucked, I awaited him obediently, and he fucked me. Sometimes he put me on my knees instead, or in addition to. I opened my mouth or spread my legs, and I moaned and cried out when he made me come, but I didn’t talk more than I absolutely had to.I took
Chapter 14What’s Worse?Declan’s knot hadn’t gone down at all by the time I blinked my eyes open and slowly came back to reality, lying on my side with Declan wrapped around me from behind. The bite he’d left on my neck throbbed in time with my heartbeat. I could feel his, too, syncing with mine and vibrating through my back.And I felt safe again, which made me want to throw up and then run away screaming.Well, he’d already made me scream. Running away was out. And it’d suck to throw up all over the bed and be stuck here.Unfortunately, that left me with nothing to do but lie there enclosed in his arms listening to his steady breaths in my ear, savoring the heat of his body and the softness of the bed.Ugh. Savoring. I really was, and it made me swallow hard against a wave of real nausea.But it suddenly occurred to me that maybe Declan felt something similar. Pheromones. Hormones. Borderline mating-magic. I couldn’t be the only one completely at their mercy, could I? He might not