7: Uncertainty .

CARLOS

How do I even begin answering that question? If I tell him no, and then he doesn't make it in the end, I will have lied to him in the last minutes of his life. Yet, I can't tell him perhaps, or maybe. That would just crush his spirit, and Luna knows he needs all the strength he can get to whatever fate throws in his way at this point. Beatrix did promise she would do her win best, but these things no one can give a hundred percent guarantee. 

“Carlos…” Cam croaked shakily. My silence may be more deadly than any answer I can give. 

“I am not losing you today, baby.” I grabbed his hand, squeezing it tight. “The doctor says you have to undergo another surgery today, but it's nothing to be worried about. You have the best doctor and I will be waiting here for you the whole time.” That didn't seem to convince him. I whispered, attempting to scoot closer and ended up wincing. His wounds were still raw.  Hastily, I laid beside him and hugged him carefully. “Do you trust me?” Even as I asked the damn question, I felt like a phony. Especially since I have memories he doesn't have. I would be the last person he would trust if he knew the truth. He nodded against me. “Then please don't worry yourself, this will all be behind us soon.” A silence fell upon us. The door creaked open, and a nurse popped his head in cautiously telling me it's time. “I love you, Cameron.” It was the last thing I wanted him to hear because it was the only truth I had offered him so far. He tried to smile in tears, making my heart clench. Hovering over him, I pecked his lips lightly. The simple intimate act sent a thousand sparks swimming in my veins. 

“Did I love you before I lost my memory?” Cam asked hopefully. Shameless me nodded. 

“We loved each other.” That got a somewhat big smile from him. 

“It's time, Alpha.” The nurse interrupted us before any of us could utter another word. I was reluctant to let go of his hand for this may be the last time I held it with breath in his lungs, but I knew I had to. Stepping aside, I let the nurses transfer him into a stretcher and pulled him out of the room with me in tow. I only stopped when they opened the surgical wing. I didn't see Beatrix, and something in my gut told me she was worried I might pressure her, which wouldn't be helpful for any of us. I sank in the waiting lounges, sending a prayer to Luna, who had sent trials and trials my way of late. 

I don't know how long I sat there staring at nothingness until I felt my mother nudging our mind link. Letting her through, I listened as she gushed about how no one has seen me in days. Of course, I didn't even tell her that I found a mate, let alone the said mate being at the blink of death. She suggested I should be on lookout now more than ever and my people need to hear from me soonest, for most were mourning losses of loved ones. That is when it hit how long I had neglected my duties just to stay with my mate. Not that I wouldn't do the exact thing all over again, but I didn't feel any less guilty. As an Alpha, it's my duty to give hope to my people and assure them of better days to come when they are weary and hopeless. Just like me, the last days have been hard on everyone. I wasn't the only one who lost a father. In him, many saw a pillar, an icon who made their lives better with every decision he made. Pups lost a hero. And then the surprise attack happened! No-one saw that coming. I have a rough estimate of the wolves I have lost thanks to my mother. 

I know what I must do now, but I don't want to leave Cam behind. Not after promising him that I would be waiting. But my mother has a point too. I should address the pack soonest. They need reassurance from the Alpha that we are in this together. 

On my way out, I instructed the receptionist that I should be kept on loop all the time. Of course, I dished some threats to ensure even a minor inconvenience will be reported to me. I had barely made it to my office when I stumbled upon George, my brother. He didn't waste time before asking where I had been, and even insinuated that I took off shaken, tail between my legs. It took my willpower not to smack his obnoxious face. I would rather have him and everyone else thinking I was hiding, instead of finding out about Cameron.

“I don't have time to deal with your crap right now.” I told him flatly. “Assemble everyone in the arena.” Being my subordinate, he couldn't outright ignore my command, despite how much he was itching to. I linked with Beta-to-be Atlas. He is supposed to turn eighteen in three days, and I feel he is more than ready to pick up his mantle. Just like me, he has been raised knowing what he must do to keep the pack safe. I am hoping he, more than anyone, will understand how helpless I feel. I just took over and seem to be marked for misfortunes. Tragedy on tragedy. When will it all stop? 

By the time I got to the office, Atlas was already there. I could tell he had run because his face was covered in sweat and I could hear his heart pending wildly. “Alpha,” He tipped his head respectfully. 

Smiling at him, I gestured for him to follow. Once in the privacy of my office, I asked his take on the recent attacks. He surprised me by giving detailed speculation. And when I asked how he thinks we can proceed, he wasn't shy to share his thoughts. It was my first time having an official talk with him and I must say I was impressed. Not only by his keen attention to detail, but also by how perspective he seems. 

“You and I will make a formidable team.” I stretched my hand to shake his surprising fellow. “Today, you must stand with me on the podium.”  I brought up the meeting I had instructed George to call upon. Atlas hesitated, unsure what his old man would think about it. I assured him that his father was more than ready to let go of his post. After all, his Alpha was no more, and he must feel awkward having to report to me, a boy he watched grow just the other day. I will pull him aside and talk about Atlas beginning his duties now, and hear what the man has to say. I have no doubt he will be more than ecstatic. We talked a little bit more before I let him go and join the rest in the arena. Just as he exited the office, George barged in. 

“What now?” 

“Many are beginning to question if you are fit to be an Alpha.” 

“Many? Or you and your greedy family?” I didn't see the need to cloak shit up. He has been eyeing my birthright, forgetting that he is just a bastard. And never, in history, has a son outside of mating taken over the pack while the legitimate one is still alive. Call me crazy if you please. But just like Atlas speculated, I feel the recent attacks have something to do with my stepbrother's thirst for power.