Pretense

CAIN 

“I uhm, I'm here to keep you company.” I said rather briefly. 

“Keep me company? I don't think there's anything I actually need your assistance for.” I said rather dryly. 

She suddenly walked up to my desk. Though she boldly walked into my office, I could sense how nervous she was. 

“I know you might actually not need my help right now, but, I think it's good to have some alone time with you, since we'll be getting married soon.” 

The moment the words left her lips, I had no idea what came over me, but I suddenly felt repulsed. She's my mate, for goddess’s sake, and I shouldn't be feeling this way. 

“Gina, I know this is crucial for both of us, but don't you think we are taking this too far?”

“Pardon?” She said. 

I heaved a long sigh and left what I was working on, so I could focus on her. 

“I know you're my mate, and as my mate, I know you want to be married and take your rightful place by my side, but don't you think we're far too distant for a marriage now?”

“Uhm, Alpha Cain, I don't know how close you want us to be, but I can assure you that we can be as close as you want us to be even after marriage.”

“Tell me, Gina, do you want this marriage or me?” 

She blinked at my question. I could tell that she didn't know what to say at that point. I also do not know what she was after, so asking this question will make me understand what she truly wants from me. 

"Alpha Cain, are you perhaps doubting my feelings for you?”

“Of course not. Why would I do that? I can tell that you have feelings for me, but then I want you to understand that getting married is an entirely different situation together.”

“Trust me, Alpha Cain, my love for you grew the moment I saw you. I fell in love with you from the very first day we met.” She said. Listening to her profess her feelings towards me only made me feel guilty. I felt like I didn't deserve her love because I could tell that I didn't feel the same way. Not when I'm getting more attracted to her sister with every passing day. 

I haven't been mated to anyone before. This is my first, so I can't tell what it felt like. I was expecting it to be something exciting and heart palpitating, but when she's near me, I don't feel that excited, not like the way I felt around her sister. 

“Alpha Cain, I can tell that you don't feel as I do, and I have to be honest with you, I feel sad knowing you don't like me. I wish I could make you love me as much as I do.”

I froze when she said the words. That was undoubtedly what I was trying to avoid. 

“I wouldn't blame you if you are not in love with me. We only met when we became adults. Furthermore, my father died. I feel so much pain, Alpha Cain, I wish my parents were still alive,” Gina sobbed. 

Fuck! I can't believe just how terrible I am. She's my mate for goddess’s sake. No matter how cold I am, I shouldn't get that way towards her, most especially when I know she'd lost her pack and family. If not for mother, we'd definitely be discussing how to find the enemies who caused the death of my Luna's pack.  

I quickly stood up from my chair and walked up to her. I took her hands in mine for the first time and pulled her close. It was an awkward moment which, I believed, wasn't right. 

Maybe it was because she'd lost her parents. She must not be in the mood to ignite the sparks. 

“I'm sorry if my actions rather proved like I was trying to neglect you. It was never my intention to do so.”

“You don't have to apologize to me, Alpha Cain. I understand you fully well. I believe that with time, things will get better between us,” she assured. 

My mate is truly admirable. I never would have thought that, despite her sadness, she could still find it in her to encourage the situation. 

“How about this? Why don't we keep this wedding on hold, and then find out about those who killed your parents? I know my mom is pushing you too hard. But trust me, I'm not going to do that to you. I just want you to be happy.”

I believe I said the right words she wanted to hear, but I couldn't explain the look in her eyes. It seemed as though she wasn't expecting me to say those things. 

“Y… You'll do that for me? She asked, and her expression instantly brightened. 

“I give you my word, I'll find them for you so you can personally take your revenge on them.”

Gina suddenly welled up as she stared at me. 

“You have no idea just how happy you've made me, Alpha Cain. I have been worried sick about the death of my parents. But when your mom brought up the marriage, I knew I couldn't refuse her.”

I thought as much. Only my mom wants this marriage to take place as soon as possible. If I hadn't taken the initiative to ask her about her parents, I'm sure I'd have been in the dark and not know the pains she was passing through. 

“Uhm, Alpha Cain, I think I need to retire to my room, and get a little nap. Thinking about my parents has made me weak. Can I see you some other time?” She asked.

“Yes, sure, anytime.” I replied. I watched her as she walked out of my office and shut the door behind her. 

I never would have thought that Gina was greatly hurt by her parents' death, and that she was hiding under the wedding plans. 

I shook my head pitifully. It must have been terrible, losing both parents on the same day. I can't imagine how heavy her heart may be now. 

Just as I was thinking about Gina's situation, my mind drifted to Diane.  

Since Diane is the Alpha's daughter as well, I wonder if she was feeling the same way. If she was, I can't tell because she doesn't show it. She's so mysterious, like the wind, and thinking about the whole situation with her made me want to see her again.