It's been a month since my world has been shattered. I never thought that I would have ever felt so empty. It's like the days are blurry; there's no reason to be alive. I do what I'm told To get through the day. Ms. Davis has been trying to bring me back, But I'm just trying to get through today.
I see that the sun is rising as daylight is coming in through my windows. Sadness overcomes me that I have made it through another night. My body still hurts from the trauma. They tell me to accept my wolf that she will help me heal, but I refuse to become one of them.
My back is healing on its own, even though it was agony for weeks, but it's finally starting to ease. The only thing I have left is the determination of not becoming what they are, a wolf. They said I will shift regardless on a full moon. That the pain will get worse each time. But it's worth not becoming what I hate the most.
My father hasn't looked at me since that night. I gave myself to a monster thin
I have never felt more relaxed than right now. As I can hear the scissors cut inches off my hair. All I can do is smile. It's almost like I'm cutting my past away from me and getting prepared for my future. Hoping that just maybe for once in my life that I will feel beautiful.As I look into the mirror I watch as she is applying the color to my hair, the shortness is remarkable. I feel confident I feel beautiful, My hair is probably a little above my shoulders with layers. I decided to go with a Violet color for my hair. I know it's dark, but it's sometimes its how I feel, I couldn't help but to go with something dark and beautiful.I feel that there is darkness in me and I know it's my wolf. I try not to think about what I am. I don't want to be a werewolf. I know that I am, unfortunately, but I won't accept it. I just want to be me, nothing else. I know that I'm promised a life of horror, but when it comes down to it, the only thing that is important is what I
As we are pulling up to the house I see a car, I become nervous hoping that isn't who I think it is. Once we come to a stop, I get out of the car, Ms Davis slides across the seat and follows me out of the car we continue to walk up the steps, but then I hear the car door. Opening we stop and turn around.I watch as the person is getting out of the car, praying it's not him. But my prayers aren't answered as I see him my mate. I go to turn back around and run, but I then hear his stern voice, “Stella, stop.”I don't want to stop, but I know if I don't the Consequences will be so much worse, so I just stop, but Before I can open my mouth Ms Davis steps in front of me. And says, "We had a girl's day.”“I didn't address you, so why are you speaking?”“She needed to get out of the house, there was no harm done.”I watch as he is approaching us and his hand raises I close my eyes waiting for him to hurt me but wh
It's so dark that I don't know the difference between day and night. I wait and wait for someone to come to get out of the darkness, even if it's only for a second. I thought my life was bad before, it was heaven compared to this life. I feel so dirty from having him all over me. I just want to wash him off of me.The worst part is I'm so cold I want to fight, but I'm not sure how. My hope is fading away. I'm not sure how to even be hopeful nothing positive has happened to me, only negative things. All I have ever wanted was for one person to care about me, just one is that really too much to ask for.I go to move, but it's hard, my body is in so much pain it is overwhelming. It's so hard for me to move. My body is broken, I'm covered in bruises and cuts that he inflicted onto me. He left my legs untied, which is nice, I guess. But not for my benefit the only reason he left them untied is, so he could fuck me whenever he wants to and any which way he desires. I hate when he touches me
As I feel like I am completely gone, I'm rudely awakened by pain in my side. As I open my eyes the light is Blaring I wonder if I'm in heaven. Then I realized I couldn't be more wrong as I see the man standing over me, kicking me into my ribs.“You dumb fucking bitch, I don't understand why you can't just fucking listen to me.”I then hear another voice that I don't recognize. “Stop it, stop, you're going to kill her. You need her To continue our generations.”“She's a waste no I hate her more than anything in this world nobody knows about her, we can find someone else.”As the conversation continues, I'm thankful since he stopped kicking me. The pain is still radiating, but at least he's not adding more to it. I listen as they speak “She is your true mate you dumb ass, you cannot have heir from another person. It would be weak and pointless; it could never compare to your true heir from your true mate.”“Fine, but once she has my heir, then she has gone.”“As long as it is a male, I
"Stella Stella wake up" I don't react to the voice that is trying to wake me, making me nervous not knowing who is shouting my name. I will say though the more I listen, the less nervous I become the voice is beautiful like music to my ears I start to become calm as I listen I feel lighter like a weight has been lifted off of me. I want to know who is shouting for me. Who is having such an effect on me?I finally get the nerve to open my eyes. But instantly becoming disappointed when all I see is whiteness all around me. I look in every direction, and it all seems endless. Not seeing anyone, I begin to wonder if I imagined the voice. Was it even real, why is there no one here I heard someone I wasn't imagining it. I felt it, the warmth that it let out on me the love.I become frustrated, not wanting that feeling to disappear I shout "hello is anybodyhere?"Hoping to hear something anything damn it why. This happens every time once I feel any kind of warmth, and it just disappears. It
I know I need to figure something out. But I am lost for words, I lay in darkness. Not wanting to be weak, but knowing I have a choice to be strong. But it's not The Choice that I want to make. All my life, I was forced to do what everyone else has wanted me to do.I'm not certain why I'm holding on to this world. Or what kind of purpose I may have. I should have died, anyone else would have. But not me, I keep fighting without having any reason to fight. I'm not sure what my purpose really is. But I have to have some purpose or why would I be here?My wolf made me feel invincible, powerful. All the feelings that I have never felt in my life. I don't understand why I can't just accept who I am. But it's almost like if I accept it, I lose myself. I'm not sure if that is worth accepting.I knew my life would be full of Pain, but this torture is almost impossible to bear. I know that I am alive. I can hear them talking, I can't make out the words, but I hear them. And the constant beepin
I force myself to open my eyes. Everything is blurry. I start to blink as my vision is clearing. I become shocked when I realize I am at my father's. I become confused as I am still dreaming how did I get here. My body begins to relax, grateful that I'm alone.I spend the time that I'm alone examining the room, trying to figure what is happening or what is about to happen. I am not sure why Zealand would allow me to come back here. But I know that the reasoning will not be beneficial to me anyway.I go into the bathroom, I look into the mirror, my face is clean from bruises and cuts. I am not sure how long I have been out, but knowing it's been long enough for my marks to disappear. My hair has even grown, I feel strong.I turned around to the shower and I turned the faucet on, feeling the warmth with my hand, loving the feeling. I go and turn on the shower and I watch as the steam fills up the bathroom. I then undress, I see the new scars that he created, but I try not to let it both
I don't know how to act, I'm so angry at this man, I hate him. I don't even want to look at his face. I look down into my lap, not looking him in the eye. I can't let myself feel anything, it only causes me sadness.I then feel a warmness underneath my chin, realizing it's him, my father's hand as he pushes my chin up for me to look him in the eye. I shut my eyes, not wanting to see him. “Stella, I know you're angry and hurt, but please let me explain.”I'm so confused, I don't know how to feel about any of this. I would like to be able to trust him, but I can't, he's no better than Zealand. I'm only going to be left disappointed. “Stella, open your eyes, so I can explain all of this.” I then feel him grab a hold of my face, squeezing my cheeks. I squint in pain, trying so hard not to react to him. I can't take it any longer, I then open my eyes just so I can scream in his face “you left all of this happen to me now you want to talk fuck you.” I then feel his hand slamming across my
I have been running for days and I couldn't feel any better than what I do right now. I am so full of energy, not understanding why Because I have not rested. I have passed people but have not stopped trying to get as far away as I possibly can. I move so fast that they don't even notice that I am around. Which I find amusing.As I got further away, my surroundings became nicer. Where Zealand ruled, there was so much suffering, all you felt was dread. That is why I can understand why the humans attacked the wolves, they were so cruel to the humans. I want to find a place where everyone is equal.Phoenix has been quiet since we left our mates. I can feel her heartbreak. I just hope she forgives me, but it was what needed to be done. I would do it again. I have no regrets about leaving. This is what we needed to do to be free. I know that she knows we did what we had to do.I start to slow down as I see something so beautiful. I shift back to my human and I walk to the glimpse of light
We are almost where we need to be, he says. For some reason, everything just looks familiar. I started to become nervous. Why do I know this place? As we got up from the hill, I saw the house. I then know exactly where I'm at.I stopped dead in my tracks, and I looked at, “Axel, why are we here?”“Your father wanted me to bring you home.”“Zealand will find me here. I can't stay here.”“Stella, your father has a plan we can't keep running. We need to rest. Why not hear what your father's plans are? Then we will go from there.”“What if Zeeland comes? What are we going to do then.”“He does not know that we are. We will hide, and if we need to, we will fight.”I look at him with concern on my face. I'm not sure what to say to him. I want to run away from this place as far as I can get. I don't want to take any chance of Zealand finding me. I don't want to go back with him. My father never stopped him from taking me before. Why will this time be any different? I can't take the chance of
I barely got any rest, I was too nervous to fall into a deep sleep, scared that something would happen to Axel while I was asleep. I know that I need the rest, but it's impossible. Last night things were so quiet, and it made me more nervous than ever.Usually, the nights are full of screams and cries. I'm not sure what is happening, it's just too quiet, but I know that we need to get moving. Just in case something bad is about to take place. My entire body is hurting, but there is no time to rest any longer. I need to get out of this tree. I go to crawl down the tree, but my foot slips. My body slams against the tree as the bark tears through my flesh. I try to catch myself, but all the branches I grab a hold of break. Knowing I'm not going to be able to stop myself from falling out of the tree. I just hope that I don't break anything. I just close my eyes at this point and wait for the ground.I try not to tense and prepare for pain, but instead of feeling pain I feel strong arms w
We have been walking for days, Axel has a friend that he can trust that has a safe place. I don't know how I feel about leaving so many behind. But knowing there's nothing I can do just yet. I try so hard not to look around, so I don't see all the suffering around me. I try to walk off the path, but Axel leads us right back on.My body is so exhausted, I'm not sure how much more I can take. I need to rest if I don't get sleep soon. I might just start to sleepwalk. “Axel, I'm exhausted. I need to rest, please can we find a place to sleep."“Stella there is no time to rest, we need to keep moving to get to where we are going.”“Axel, I'm not going to be able to continue very much longer. We need to find a place to set camp for the night.”“Fine, we will go over in the wooded area, so we are somewhat hidden. We will slowly steer ourselves away.”I watch as we are walking, I follow as he heads to the woods. Trying not to have too many to notice us heading to the woods. It is hard not to b
I have never known what happiness was until now. Phoenix has wanted me to shift to go for a run. I just don't know how, as she tries to help but nothing works. Phoenix says that I won't shift on my own until I want it. I feel that I want it, but I guess it's not enough.Axel has been so wonderful, he makes me go crazy. I try so hard to resist him, but it is so hard to stay away. He doesn't want to leave this place. The fear of him losing me is too great. Especially when I'm unable to shift just yet. But I can't help but think about my father and wonder if he is ok. I know things have been odd between my father and me. But a part of me still wants to get to know more about him. The mate bond is strong, but I can't let it control the choices I make. I need to make sure that my father is okay. So, I need to tell Axel that it is time to go find him.I don't want to upset Axel, but I need to be honest with him. He needs to know how I'm feeling. I don't ever want to blame him for anything.
I can't believe what I did, it was like I had no control, I couldn't help myself. The whole point of being a werewolf was for me to gain control. “Stella, that is what is supposed to happen between mates, usually both consistent. It was just harder for you to control yourself just yet, but you will with time.” It has been hours, why hasn't he woken up? What if he never wakes up? Oh my God, what if I killed him? “Stella stop, you are going to make yourself crazy, why don't we go for a run to help calm your nerves.” No, I want to be here when he wakes up, I don't want him to wake up alone. I need to explain what happened, I hope that he doesn't hate me.” He's not going to hate you, he will be pleased that he gained your mark.” I hear a loud gasp for air, when I turn around, I see Axel sitting straight up in bed. I'm So happy to see that he is awake. I run over to him, wanting to jump into his arms, but I'm scared that he is going to hurt me because of what I did to him. So, I stop at
I'm so confused about what just happened. Why wouldn't he want me to give him pleasure? Why would he want nothing in return? I want to understand him. He is so different from anyone I have ever met before. I just look away from him, not wanting him To see my confusion. As I hear the floor creaking, I look just to watch him walk out of the bedroom. I get out of bed and head to the bathroom. I shut the bathroom door. I then turn to the shower, open the curtain and turn on the water letting the water warm. As I turn around, I see a mirror. I look into the mirror, I don't see any bruises, my lips aren't swollen. All I see is me, I can see the person that's looking back at me. I am no longer broken. I am strong but am I. I know that I need to find my father. I need to make sure he's OK. But am I strong enough to reach him? Then I hear a faint voice, You are strong enough, especially when we're together. We can do anything, I promise you. I look around the room wondering where Axel is bu
As I'm waking up, a smile comes across my face, I'm happy. I sit up in bed so fast that it makes me dizzy. Not even realizing that Axel is lying right beside me. I freeze, not wanting to wake him. I slowly lay back down on my side.I can't help but stare at him. He is so sexy even when he is sleeping. I can feel myself wanting him, but knowing I need not let him know how I feel. I don't want him to think that I'm so easy to fall for someone so fast.He begins to move as his arms wraps around me. He pushes me into his chest and holds me. I don't know what to do. My body relaxes and I want nothing more than to be wrapped in his arms. I'm frozen, I have never felt this good before.No one has ever held me the way that he is holding me. I could just get lost in this feeling. But knowing he is going to wake up and let me go. I don't want him to let go of me, I want this feeling to last forever. Is this the bond that I have been told about between mates? Or is this feeling actually coming
I look at him with a stern face, wanting him to take me seriously. But when I saw his brown eyes looking into mine, I began to smirk. He then smiles at me, “what are your terms?”I cough to clear my throat and begin to speak, “I want to have total control over myself, I don't want to be controlled at all. Your advice is always welcomed, but only I make all the choices that involve me.”“No putting your hands on me unless I want them on me.”“Also, I need us to go check on my father and let him know what is happening, so he knows that I'm okay and that I have escaped Zealand for good.”“I can do the first 2 but the last one I won't be able to do the. It's too dangerous to go back there right now, but maybe in a couple of weeks when things slow down we can.”“I need to make sure that they are okay. When Zealand sees I'm gone, he will go after them.”“Zealand won't be going after anyone, he is hiding like the coward he is.”“Wait, he is the king, he is supposed to fight for his kind and